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Date: 03/17/10 10:30 AM

62 Responses to Man Breaks Into House, And Then…

  1. Profile photo of peloos12
    peloos12 Male 18-29
    3825 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 9:37 am
    Link: Man Breaks Into House, And Then... - It`s that time again, I-A-B. Burglary? Murder? Guess what the guy did next and get one year`s I-A-B membership free!
  2. Profile photo of TopperHey
    TopperHey Male 18-29
    1930 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 10:34 am
    Uses the toilet! Now to find out the answer...
  3. Profile photo of TopperHey
    TopperHey Male 18-29
    1930 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 10:35 am
    Rats!
  4. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15782 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 10:37 am
    Huh... well, oddly enough it isn`t Florida.
  5. Profile photo of lostinkorea
    lostinkorea Female 30-39
    3727 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 10:38 am
    Okay, here`s my guess...

    Masturbated to some granny pron then made himself a PB&J but since they ran out of grape jelly, he had a drating fit; cause NO ONE should run out of grape jelly. So then he ransacked the house in a fit of rage (nude, of course) and doused himself in syrup and powdered sugar and then proceeded to lick himself until he was caught by the homeowners with their dog in an uncompromising position.

    WHAT DO I WIN? T-shirt please, size medium!
  6. Profile photo of pmarren
    pmarren Male 40-49
    4575 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 10:40 am
    I was going to guess that he fapped on the toaster. I was wrong.
  7. Profile photo of MrHyde
    MrHyde Male 18-29
    494 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 10:41 am
    I`m posting my guesses first. He took a shower, went to sleep on the couch or got in bed with the owner.
  8. Profile photo of alikabul
    alikabul Male 18-29
    696 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 11:00 am
    "I wish I had a gun because this is Mount Washington, and I don`t pay for people to wake up in my bed," Fontana said.

    No, you pay them to leave afterwards...
  9. Profile photo of Pabasa
    Pabasa Male 18-29
    4014 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 11:03 am
    Not hot.
  10. Profile photo of KannaLilly
    KannaLilly Female 13-17
    635 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 11:04 am
    He broke the floor... XD HE BROKE THE FLOOR!
  11. Profile photo of videogamer
    videogamer Male 18-29
    3016 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 11:13 am
    I can`t say what the answer was, so all I`ll say is...

    Wow.
  12. Profile photo of Swordking
    Swordking Male 18-29
    98 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 11:17 am
    "...then crawling into bed with Frank Fontana.."

    All those who read that name as "Frank Fontaine", please raise your hand.

    *raises hand*
  13. Profile photo of fiizok
    fiizok Male 40-49
    591 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 11:18 am
    Shoot, I was gonna guess that he sharpened all their pencils and neatly folded all their fine linen dinner napkins.
  14. Profile photo of Skabashas
    Skabashas Male 18-29
    1255 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 11:24 am
    Typical Cranberry Township, am I right?
  15. Profile photo of sweetrebelnc
    sweetrebelnc Female 18-29
    847 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 11:51 am
    bwahahaha he was prolly so smashed he thought it was his own house!!!
  16. Profile photo of odc
    odc Female 18-29
    319 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 11:55 am
    well, there are beds in prison...
  17. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15511 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 11:57 am
    "No, its not"
  18. Profile photo of obeydarklord
    obeydarklord Male 18-29
    1360 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 12:00 pm
    awwwwww story of the day?
  19. Profile photo of peloos12
    peloos12 Male 18-29
    3825 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 12:04 pm
    "Typical Cranberry Township, am I right?"

    You are absolutely right.
  20. Profile photo of motherObambi
    motherObambi Female 13-17
    42 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 12:06 pm
    this happens alot actually lol
  21. Profile photo of cobrakiller
    cobrakiller Male 18-29
    7423 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 12:16 pm
    well thats awkward, the guy who broke in should have just moaned "um-hm" in a high pitch tone.
  22. Profile photo of iamcool1235
    iamcool1235 Male 13-17
    121 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 12:18 pm
    uuummm... Having an I-A-B membership IS free...
  23. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25406 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 12:19 pm
    Thats disturbing! how do people end up doing this?
  24. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15782 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 12:21 pm
    "uuummm... Having an I-A-B membership IS free..."

    Nothing gets past you, Sherlock.
  25. Profile photo of Kadinsky
    Kadinsky Male 18-29
    575 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 12:29 pm
    he broke his floor? bare-feet? seriously?
  26. Profile photo of panth753
    panth753 Female 18-29
    9183 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 12:30 pm
    I would of killed him then and there.
  27. Profile photo of jamie76
    jamie76 Male 30-39
    2346 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 12:56 pm
    this is why you keep the bat right next to the bed...
  28. Profile photo of Boadicea
    Boadicea Female 18-29
    1678 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 1:01 pm
    I think you mean you would *have* killed him then and there.

    Also: me too. Theoretically.

    In practice I probably would have screamed and ran out of the building as fast as possible, hopefully in possession of a phone in which to call 911.

    Creepers, I tell ya.
  29. Profile photo of ShadowRyder
    ShadowRyder Male 18-29
    2128 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 1:17 pm
    "uuummm... Having an I-A-B membership IS free..."

    I never knew that...Davy, I want my $10 a month back....

  30. Profile photo of SumRandom1
    SumRandom1 Male 18-29
    794 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 1:37 pm
    man if they created a wake up call like that in every hotel, nobody would ever be late for a meeting
  31. Profile photo of Dakkar
    Dakkar Male 18-29
    1256 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 1:49 pm
    It`s a copycat! Something similar but much worse happened at PSU a little over a year ago. Article
  32. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10443 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 1:52 pm
    I`m disturbed by how many of you would have killed him even if you had a gun. If you`ve got a gun, he`s no threat to you.

    ... but you people are hiding behind the anonymity of the net, so you`re BSing anyway.

    I would have shot him in the leg, that way he`s crippled, not a threat, not going anywhere AND you`re not a murderer! Win-Win!
  33. Profile photo of sidewyz8
    sidewyz8 Female 18-29
    843 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 2:10 pm
    Aww, he just wanted to cuddle
  34. Profile photo of G795mp
    G795mp Male 18-29
    50 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 2:24 pm
    Youre not a murderer for killing someone who is in the commission of a crime. Besides, as a law enforcement officer I can tell you, I would have fired center mass. I once shot someone in the elbow to disarm threat and I got one of the largest ass chewings ever. Best way to go- Aim center mass. Besides the typical civilian can`t aim for jack sh anyways so its probably their best bet.

    You didnt decide to take his life, he decided his life mean`t less than the crime that he decided to commit. Thats his call. Freaking yuppies.
  35. Profile photo of IssaTheFiend
    IssaTheFiend Female 18-29
    2354 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 2:31 pm
    Didn`t mean to wake ya. .

    It would have been win if he had replied when the guy thought it was his gf "teheee its meeeee" in a high pitch.
  36. Profile photo of G795mp
    G795mp Male 18-29
    50 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 3:00 pm
    Err I mean`t to put in my message "Shot someone in the elbow in a training event with simuntion" haha. Ive never ACTUALLY shot anyone. My bad.
  37. Profile photo of shizzamX
    shizzamX Female 18-29
    2697 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 3:34 pm
    he was just ronery.
  38. Profile photo of RyanHake
    RyanHake Male 18-29
    2690 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 3:48 pm
    Haha wow so random...pretty crazy.
  39. Profile photo of zep fan
    zep fan Female 18-29
    492 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 3:54 pm
    I remember a news article from a few years ago about break-in happening in a concentrated area (it may have been where I live, but I can`t find the story now). The intruder would fold the laundry and wash the dishes, then cuddle. :D
  40. Profile photo of Cajun247
    Cajun247 Male 18-29
    10722 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 5:14 pm
    I would be terrified.
  41. Profile photo of _kiersten_
    _kiersten_ Female 18-29
    1684 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 5:50 pm
    lolwut.
  42. Profile photo of Chaos7
    Chaos7 Male 18-29
    849 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 6:40 pm
    Exhausted intruder is exhausted
  43. Profile photo of Farsidedown
    Farsidedown Male 18-29
    421 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 6:46 pm
    "hey baby is that you?"

    "nope!"
  44. Profile photo of Lobotomy
    Lobotomy Male 13-17
    495 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 7:02 pm
    Aww yeeeh. This is just around where I live.

    *412*
  45. Profile photo of scorpio28
    scorpio28 Female 18-29
    343 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 7:15 pm
    "Fontana said he leapt out of bed so hard he broke his floor." What? Did he truly break the floor or is this a typo and they meant foot?
  46. Profile photo of Shellie84
    Shellie84 Female 18-29
    4198 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 7:19 pm
    tried on undies!!
  47. Profile photo of Shellie84
    Shellie84 Female 18-29
    4198 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 7:21 pm
    dang I was wrong but... *snicker...snort* ... ha... hahaha ... AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!
  48. Profile photo of frenchroast
    frenchroast Male 30-39
    446 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 7:47 pm
    Honey, did you forget to shave your legs?.........
  49. Profile photo of bassdee
    bassdee Male 18-29
    70 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 8:16 pm
    I actually JUST watched this on the news not 5 minutes ago haha
  50. Profile photo of Nucleartoast
    Nucleartoast Female 13-17
    258 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 9:14 pm
    oh drat dude, thats my town!
  51. Profile photo of robosnitz
    robosnitz Male 40-49
    2737 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 10:16 pm
    He was tired and cold and drunk. So what? Let him sleep it off.Sheesh.
  52. Profile photo of PUDDING1961
    PUDDING1961 Female 40-49
    446 posts
    March 17, 2010 at 11:09 pm
    AHA!! This is where i would have used my hidden Cheetos bags to protect myself. Yes of course of would have wounded the intruder pretty badly with a full Cheetos bag, but hey...have to protect my family ya know!
  53. Profile photo of kimkio
    kimkio Female 18-29
    878 posts
    March 18, 2010 at 1:39 am
    ahahahaha xD it would be like in the movies if he had put his arm around the other guys waist instead of saying anything, like this:

  54. Profile photo of Nidonemo
    Nidonemo Male 18-29
    9311 posts
    March 18, 2010 at 2:32 am
    (-.- )_o )
    Mmm...honey is that you?

    (-_0 ).^ )
    "No it`s not..."

    Bahahaha!
  55. Profile photo of xxPinkxx
    xxPinkxx Female 18-29
    3830 posts
    March 18, 2010 at 5:08 am
    LOL so weird
  56. Profile photo of Andicicle
    Andicicle Male 18-29
    503 posts
    March 18, 2010 at 6:29 am
    yeah, tired and cold and drunk. not terribly drunk though, just to the point of wanting to pork a man.
  57. Profile photo of pui
    pui Female 18-29
    3575 posts
    March 18, 2010 at 6:42 am
    Nidonemo lol! Nice depiction! XD
  58. Profile photo of xXKaryXx
    xXKaryXx Female 13-17
    635 posts
    March 18, 2010 at 7:58 am
    o.o

    -locks the doors and uses sheldon`s security system-
  59. Profile photo of kevinoan
    kevinoan Male 18-29
    45 posts
    March 18, 2010 at 12:18 pm
    thats a kenyan name
  60. Profile photo of pandapoi
    pandapoi Male 18-29
    21 posts
    March 19, 2010 at 8:40 pm
    See! Pittsburgh is all about love. Also, today I saw some Asian girl standing at the bus stop, and she was wearing the poofiest Strawberry Shortcakesque dress with matching poofie purse. And somebody hung a deer spine on their front porch. They hung the skull below it.

    Everyone: Stop what you`re doing and move here right away.
  61. Profile photo of BossLadyRock
    BossLadyRock Female 18-29
    23 posts
    March 20, 2010 at 7:58 pm
    I used to live near Pittsburgh. Of course something like this would happen.

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