Top 11 Most Popular `Wiping` Methods [Pics]

Submitted by: Fancys_Asst 7 years ago in Funny

Yeah, it"s a personal question, but we"re asking anyway: How do you wipe? Is your method shown? Do you have another way?
There are 145 comments:
Female 275
same as KoalaMeatPie
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Male 58
I use wet wipes, like the ones used for babies
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Female 4,028
I totally do the Origami Crane and The Pharaoh all the time.
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Male 2,576
A mix of double and wad.
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Female 5,222
who the hell uses ONE SQUARE
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Male 999
one time i used an entire roll to wipe
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Male 256
sbeelz uve ruined my dinner
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Male 1,193
oragami crane all the way.
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Male 2,868
Ladies- just a reminder: don`t wipe back to front. You don`t want all that E. coli that lives in your colon getting in your vag. I`ve actually seen female caregivers wipe female residents at my work back to front, and it made me seriously question their own personal hygiene practices.
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Male 2,868
lol- FML! While most people only have to make this choice when in the bathroom alone, It`s a vocational decision for me. I`m a caregiver for elderly people (though I do love my job, despite having to wipe poo off people`s butts)
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Male 256
goaliejerry...wen i spill a drink on the floor i generally can take a dry paper towel then soak it up and wipe. eventually the liquid is gone and the floor is completely dry.
also we use baby wipes on babies because they feel the need to cry about every small bit of discomfort. we love our babies so we use cool, wet wipes
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Male 450
i have seen billboreds in chicago wanting to know how u wipe and roll over or under
ps to chicagoans vote roll over
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Female 1,077
origami!
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Male 299
@goaliejerrys:
By all means, be passionate about your ass wiping, just... keep your passion focused on your ass and not on the comments section.
(Note: The Europe I know does not have bidets everywhere.)
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Male 299
Double square FTW!
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Male 24
I need to try the mummy after some taco-bell.
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Female 474
the napkin fold or the wad, but the mummy looks pretty interesting albeit messy XP
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Male 172
I use the runway
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Male 1,557
The Roll here.
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Male 660
I`m a fitter and turner, so it`s gotta be the wad!
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Female 58
The wad all the way...! the edges get everything lol...who wants a soggy bottom in their pants? whats the use of a wet towel...you have to wash it later right...ewwwwww
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Male 731
I try to use the napkin fold as much as possible, but oftentimes it just ends up a wad or a planetoid.
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Male 137
I once had an idea for a single use ass-wiping glove. The `sh-t`ten. It`s like a mitten, for complete control and no grip issues. And you won`t possibly make a mess on your skin. When you`re done, just flush it down. Kind of like "the mummy".
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Female 12
Planetoid is a good method. . .
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Male 3,755
I hate when I have to use "John Wayne" toilet paper at a public restroom. I have to use the planetoid then because it`s "rough as hell and don`t take poo from no one."
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Male 2,579
YEAH! I wipe with wet towel... CLEAN ASHHOLES UNITE!
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Male 56
`I`m very passionate about anal hygiene`

I lol`d. Also, planetoid is how I roll. No ass stands a chance when you use a whole roll in one go.

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Male 4,014
I`m very passionate about anal hygiene. Mainly because I don`t like crap in my pants, or in the pants of people I meet.

I mean, we wash our hands after we poo. Why? TO GET THE FRICKEN CRAP OFF. We use baby wipes to clean a baby`s bottom. Why? TO GET THE FRICKEN CRAP OFF. So why do Americans wash their hands religiously, but sit around with poop in their pants? I know we are a "rugged" society, but the west has been conquored, indoor plumbing is now the norm, its time to enter the 21st century and fricken clean your ashhole.

F*uck, even dogs "wet wipe," for good reason.

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Male 4,014
"if all european men do this, europe`s even gayer than i thought."

I know culture shock is difficult to overcome, but think about what you are saying - you are saying you are OK with people walking around with crap on thier skin - literally, any guy you meet who has taken a dump that day is carrying around a little reminder of that dump in his pants. Blows my mind Americans are fine with this.

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Male 4,014
"they left out the method used in countries that don`t use toilet paper. Know what they do in India? do you?"

Shake with the right hand, wipe with the left. That is the ORIGIN of shaking hands with the right hand.

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Male 1,089
roll, alwaays thick. i buy the good stuff too.
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Male 4,014
ALL OF YOU PEOPLE JUST DRY WIPING - YOU ARE LEAVING FECES IN YOUR ASS CRACK. Simple fact.

Ever heard of anal bleaching ladies (and homosexual men)? It isn`t required if you don`t tend to leave poop (which is brown because of BILE which stains the skin) on your rim.

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Male 4,014
Septemberex:

I never said I carry them around, but seriously, think about the reality.

Its nice that you admit on the internet that you enjoy leaving sh*t in your ass-crack all day long. VERY sanitary. Like I said, its an American thing. Most countries have bidets everywhere.

I STAND BY MY POINT. THINK ABOUT IT - WOULD YOU WIPE DOG poo OFF OF YOUR ARM USING DRY PAPER TOWEL???? SO WHY IS IT OK TO DO THAT IN YOUR MOIST, ENCLOSED ASS-CRACK???

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Male 88
Ah, the simple yet reliable wad.
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Male 80
they left out the method used in countries that don`t use toilet paper. Know what they do in India? do you?
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Male 1,815
Wad. Quick and simple.
But everyone here has Sheryl Crow`d it. When you can see the cardboard and you realize you`ve been wasteful.
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Male 15,510
Where is the most popular of them all? the shirtsleeve?
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Female 16
lol...sorry about that. I am just feeling a little peturbed over the chosen links today and this one was the most ridiculous.
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Male 3,310
What a bunch of weird comments to walk into after seeing wiping methods
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Male 112
Um... let`s get on topic, people, this is about wiping. Personally, I prefer the conveyor belt, as it provides a large base with which to wipe, as well as adequate padding and a firm hold.
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Female 16
Female 16
well...it seems to me that if they can show photos from the earthquake...then, a video isn`t so out of whack with a post that had a high rating. Go figure.

I think the majority of IABers would have some curiosity about what a 7.0 quake looks like.

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Female 1,112
I agree obeydarklord in a way. IAB isn`t exactly the place for keeping up with the news. It`s more or less for entertainment (hence I AM BORED) So bombarding us with updates about Haiti would really not appeal to the typical IABer
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Female 16
apathy...it`s what`s wrong with our society...

you are such a WONDERFUL PERSON!!!!!

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Male 1,360
no one cares about haiti. get over it, if you wanna see haiti footage, google it.
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Female 16
wow...I can`t believe this link was chosen to be posted over my link showing video footage of the Haiti earthquake as it happened...FOR SHAME IAB!
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Male 3,431
Wipe? Meh, I thought that`s why we have underwear.
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Female 3,598
gross... i just use enough to make sure i get it all. haha i guess it would be considered a roll because i wrap it around my hand like three times and then pull it off.
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Female 602
I`m actually very obsessive with my toilet paper. It has to be folded VERY neatly.
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Female 1,401
i oragami my tp before a wipe mah ass, but it`s a fish, so it will feel at home being flushed
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Female 288
"Why`s it called the Sheryl Crow?"

Because she told everyone to save the environment by sticking with only one square. (Eww.)

I go with the wad, although I have had to do the Hobo/fratboy on more than one occasion.

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Male 1,406
The mummy, but about 3 times as thick as the one in the picture.
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Male 670
I use the Barrel, and then finish with a Roll.
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Male 601
Mine is usually a mix between a roll and a wad. Sometimes a napkin fold if I tear the TP before I`m ready.
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Male 83
super wad XD
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Male 1,351
The roll, though if I could make the origami I sure as heck would make that.
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Male 301
Why`s it called the Sheryl Crow?
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Male 571
Napkin fold for me. If you do the single square, you may as well just use your bare hand.
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Female 364
Somewhere between a napkin fold and a wad.
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Male 26
A new one. The gruyère cheese slice: It`s full of holes because my cat play with the roll everytime i pick one. I am just glad there`s still some paper...
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Female 88
I use the `Hobo` one.
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Female 88
xD This is funny.
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Male 1,497
i used the wad when i was like 3, then went kinda like the napkin :P eat my poop, paper
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Female 646
goaliejerry:

that is such a waste of money... you seriously carry them around with you to use when you poo?

if all european men do this, europe`s even gayer than i thought.

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Female 37
The wad definitely.

I don`t get the Sheryl Crow one...

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Male 242
Good for you goaliejerry...good for you.
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Female 96
napkin fold for me. i like things neat lol.
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Male 4,014
Something that always baffles me about America is this. OK, so men typically have hairy asses. If a guy goes number 2, NO amount of wiping with merely dry paper will remove all the fecal matter. Think about it - if had crap on your hand, would you feel clean if you used only a dry paper towel to wipe it off???? NO!!!

In Europe and other countries around the world they commonly have bidets (sp?).

IT IS SIMPLY A FACT THAT AMERICAN MEN ARE CONSTANTLY WALKING AROUND WITH CRAP IN THEIR CRACKS, since 95% don`t use a wet-wipe or something.

Me, I use a baby wipe first, then finish off with a dry wipe.

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Male 275
I`m ashamed to say I use the Super-wad.
ALSO: I am still having login problems.
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Female 1,190
the wad is my style :P
but thats mostly just from the crappy school paper offered here
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Female 360
I was kind of expecting to see sandpaper. It`d me the MANLY METHOD.
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Male 121
the planetoid!!!
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Male 79
I Use The Roll
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Male 73
They forgot the one my old boss told me about.... "the army" it shall henceforth be named. one square, rip a tiny bit from the corner and wipe your ass... the rest, thats for cleaning your finger *vomits*
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Male 227
wait...you`re supposed to wipe?
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Male 25,416
Wow im gonna start using the crane!
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Male 15
I would say i start with The roll, and finish with The double square ;)
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Male 9,305
None of your goddessdamned business.
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Female 876
i make a triangle
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Male 2,591
2 `rolls`, wet, 2 or 3 or more `rolls` dry (depends).. wait why am i announcing this to the world? cuz thats what the internet`s for.
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Female 1,963
I think I`m about a three squarer.
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Male 4,290
Damn you people who beat me to a Demolition Man joke. Damn you all.
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Male 5,094
Double square.
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Female 1,589
Maybe if I have to take a really long poo I`ll start to make the crane. But I don`t have time for this folding business, so The Wad.
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Female 209
Yep...Wad
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Male 9
the mitt
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Female 155
the mummy/pharaoh..... lol kidding, wad
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Male 277
lol Napkin fold x4 so almost roll
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Female 160
Napkin fold FTW!
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Male 10,440
I`m a wad person.
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Male 418
@DrV ... i beat ya to it buddy, sorry, lol at least someone remembers that dorky movie.
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Male 430
origami crane LMAO
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Male 690
I`m a mitt man.
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Male 774
Super-wad :X
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Male 703
my eyes have been opened... thank you iab .. thank you
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Male 959
I shared a house with two girls in college. Women use a hell of a lot more bog roll than men. They go for the oven mitt everytime, and they don`t fold and wipe. Half a bog roll on their hands, one wipe, and in the toilet it goes. Repeat until all the andrex is used up. Do not replace roll.
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Male 287
I use the three shells. Doesn`t everybody?
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Female 213
I must try pharoah. I seriously must.
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Female 317
I think the mummy is just a teensy bit overkill.
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Male 497
wad
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Male 15,832
shepherd "Can i ask why the 1st one is called the Sheryl Crow - DOH - I get it the single square!! or is there another reason?"

She suggested that we should all fight global warming by using only 1 sheet of TP per sitting.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheryl-cro...

The only thing you need to remember here is NEVER shake hands with her.

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Female 1,112
I roll. But my boyfriend recently started complaining that I waste too much TP. So I`ve been folding a few sheets. I can`t stand the idea of any excrement touching my hands though....
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Male 49
The wad or Super-wad..Maximum collection with no finger slipage. Sheryl Crows hands and guitar must constantly smell like poo!
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Male 363
Oh...is that what that roll of stuff in the bathroom is for?
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Male 271
That was @ pol4r21 in case anyone needs some context.
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Male 271
So wait, wiping your ass is gay now? I guess masturbating is gay too, cause you`re touchin` a dick, ya fag!
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Male 3,255
I use basically the mitt, except for just laying it in my hand, not having my hand inside of it.
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Female 107
Actually I never thought that people would wipe differenty O.O how come I didn`t realize that. I use the roll (I flatten it). Others seems just weird... O.o
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Female 70
I start with the mitt and pull it off so it becomes the roll.
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Male 137
the thicker the WAD the better in case of finger pokeage - Can i ask why the 1st one is called the Sheryl Crow - DOH - I get it the single square!! or is there another reason?
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Male 214
superwad.
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Male 121
I prefer the mitt.
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Male 976
Hmm...the Mummy looks intriging.
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Male 964
The Wad/The Super-Wad
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Female 2,289
Napkin fold for me
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Male 504
The wad. The mummy appears to be gay because you are essentially sticking your hand in your ass.
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Male 2,516
Haha, napkin fold
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Male 2,690
Mummy ftw
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Male 3,425
You`re always safe with a super wad, although my personal preference is the mit.
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Male 566
Its all about the surface area, wadx2
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Female 79
I`m a very indecisive person... that said, usually I use either the roll or the napkin fold, but occasionally, early in the morning/late at night/when I`m feeling lazy I go ahead and just use the wad... The mit or conveyor belt are occasionally optimized.... but I HAVE used the double/single square, from time to time. Usually after one of the above mentioned.

Need to try the Origami, and maybe the mummy for poos and giggles...

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Male 5,189
Didn`t know there were so many ways to wipe. o.o
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Male 121
I`m a fan of the runway.
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Female 15,763
I`m not the only one who does the crane!?
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Male 355
3 seashells FTW, that was good fknloser
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Male 697
the wad
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Male 56
The roll, but I will try the mummy one of these days lol
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Female 525
i usually do the roll, but sometimes, the roll is just not safe enough, so i do the super-wad.
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Male 418
whats this primitive stuff? jeez, i use the 3 seashells. doesn`t everyone?
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Male 483
Super-wad. I`m not taking any chances
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Female 444
I dont poop. Most certainly not!


But I do take a poo every now and then...

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Female 9,572
i do the roll/wad.
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Female 134
Napkin fold nodnodnod
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Female 4,039
Apparently, everyone in my office uses the origami method. Now I know why they take so freakin long in there.
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Male 299
wait wth.... what do girls need toilet paper for? its not like they poop or anything
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Male 500
I went to Thailand at the end of last year and instead of bogroll they basically have a shower attachment thing on a hose that you aim at your jacksie when you are finished in every toilet.
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Male 299
napkin fold ftw
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Female 3,828
defenently the wad. its toilet paper, i just fuc kin crumple it up.
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Female 291
lol who wipes their ass with origami?! xD
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Male 970
my method is not even on the list :P
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Female 315
Lol origami. I guess mine would be napkin fold. Maybe.
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Male 252
I personally use the origami crane.
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Male 815
oh look at that...first for the first time ever lol (who the hell cares?)
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Male 815
i lol`ed at the origami and the pharaoh ones
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Female 1,780
Link: Top 11 Most Popular `Wiping` Methods [Pics] [Rate Link] - Yeah, it`s a personal question, but we`re asking anyway: How do you wipe? Is your method shown? Do you have another way?
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