What To Do Seconds Before You Die... [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 7 years ago in Misc

If this is how it really works, then we"re probably all gonna be OK.
There are 102 comments:
Male 131
So who is this Jesus Christ guy that everyone is talking about? Never heard of him. Was he some kind of Mexican king or something? This guy came by my house last Saturday and asked if I had heard the "Good News"...I asked if Obama had been impeached. He said no and told me Jesus loved me and killed himself because I like to take a drink every now and then and I once saw a nudie movie on HBO.
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Male 131
So who is this Jesus Christ guy that everyone is talking about? Never heard of him. Was he some kind of Mexican king or something? This guy came by my house last Saturday and asked if I had heard the "Good News"...I asked if Obama had been impeached. He said no and told me Jesus loved me and killed himself because I like to take a drink every now and then and I once saw a nudie movie on HBO.
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Female 212
"Yup, seems to me that Religion DOES serve a purpose: avoid over population of the world."

Interesting viewpoint....

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Male 51
http://teapotatheism.blogspot.com/2008/0...

Read that.

Summary:
Bible = Fiction
Fiction = NOT TRUE
Religion kills a lot of people

And the strip was funny

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Male 51
of religion, does that make you an Atheist? Most likely. Does that prevent you from getting into heaven? Definitely. Now THAT`S a good religion: either find humanity and get into Church or get eaten by lions and go to hell for your innocence.

I don`t know how people still follow a religion that, at one point, went as far as killing people for simply being accused of being a witch. Now THAT`S the meaning of good sense.

Or, killing people for saying the truth. Like our good ol` Giordano Bruno, who was killed by religious-freaks just because of his astronomical theories.

Just a simple, rough count of how many people were killed due to theism and how many due to atheism:
*Deaths causd by theism: 2,229,074,100
*Highest possible atheism death toll without Stalin: 45,000,000.
*Highest possible atheism death toll with Stalin: 95,000,000.

Yup, seems to me that Religion DOES serve a purpose: avoid over population of the world.

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Male 51
You know. The other day I was reading a book called The Fellowship of the Rings by J.J. Tolkien and I thought to myself "This is a well recorded sequence of events, why isn`t this a religion?"

People blindly follow a religion that has no proof of happening but some papers with letters in it.

I could grab a pen and paper right now and write a whole book and say everything happened and hopefully, some years for now, someone will find it and say "holy crap! Check this out! I found the REAL religion".

What makes people act so foolishly and actually thing that religion, any of them, is worth a minute of your life? You are wasting time reading what some people saw - or THINK they saw - which might not even be true.

Just because I read The Fellowship of the Rings, doesn`t mean it is a recorded event. It is a FICTIONAL story, just like the Bible. Except the Bible was made to control empty-minded people and the LOTR trilogy was made to entertain people.

If you grow

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Male 377
@Discomonkey - so Jesus didn`t choose 12 disciples? OK... <consults bible> nope says disciple in this work of fiction over here... <checks other chapters> oh this bit says Apostle... <reads further> snore.....
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Female 1
Yeah hes able to get into heaven if he ment it and ask for forgiveness becasue christians are suposed to be able to forgive those who sin againist them 0.o
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Male 29
well whatever does happen then fucccck it..we gotta go truh with it! =/
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Female 523
i always think of this too, if simply letting jesus into your life and begging for forgiveness is all it takes... what is the level of sin where this doesn`t work?
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Male 1,361
I`m pretty sure people are thinking saying the words "I`m Sorry" and being sorry are the same thing...They ain`t.
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Male 1,361
@waffle
Everyone/Anyone who follows Christ is a disciple, you`re thinking of Apostles
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Male 377
osmandias - so what do they work as today then? Did one of them play Yoda?
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Male 4,290
[quote]There wouldn`t be the hundreds of written accounts of His life that we have now. He doesn`t need to personally "appear" to you because His resurrection has already been witnessed (and recorded) by hundreds of witnesses.[/quote]

Please do point to these hundreds of written testimonies of people who saw Jesus after his death. I`ll give you the 4 in the Bible to start with.

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Male 4,290
[quote]Almightybob, if Jesus had not appeared to any of his followers after His death, no one would believe He had risen.[/quote]

So what you`re saying is... believing without seeing is too much to expect?
For once, we agree.

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Male 124
the rapists eye is a backwards six.
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Male 205
@waffle: some of those people live until today - if you believe the bible where jesus reportedly said that some of his disciple would live to see the second coming ...
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Male 554
wow... guess what i`m doing tonight.. wink wink
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Male 98
RELIGIOUS DEBATE!! WOOOH!
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Male 377
osmandias - does that mean that the disciples who wrote the gospel were over 100 years old? Damn I didn`t know that people lived longer in those days than they do today! Wow!
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Male 205
@waffle: It was a plot! Jesus was a well trained fakir who knew how to fake his death. Also Judas didn`t betray him, it was part of the plan. A big promotion show. That`s the only explanation that makes any sense if you believe what 4 (not hundreds) people recorded (some 80 to 100 years after the event)
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Male 377
All those who think Jesus was really the son of God, I have got a question: how come if he could heal people, he died on the cross? I mean, shouldn`t he have been able to heal himself? Or was it like kryptonite nails or something?
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Male 38
err... I mean that "is not even what the Bible teaches" ... I should pay closer attention when I hit that max character mark :)
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Male 38
(cont.)... even what the Bible teaches! No. People go to hell for breaking the laws that God has given us all to obey (specifically, the 10 Commandments). Our SIN earns us hell, not our failure to fall upon Jesus in faith.

One lie. That`s all it would take and you are suddenly no longer worthy of heaven. That Hindu/atheist medical team is no different. They are sinners.

The murderer may have committed a greater sin (at least in our eyes) and it is highly unlikely that he would throw himself into TRUE repentence upon his deathbead that quickly.

However, salvation takes but a split second. God is powerful enough and just enough. Thankfully it isn`t our job to judge who does and does not deserve heaven, because honestly, NONE of us do!

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Male 38
Almightybob, if Jesus had not appeared to any of his followers after His death, no one would believe He had risen. There wouldn`t be the hundreds of written accounts of His life that we have now. He doesn`t need to personally "appear" to you because His resurrection has already been witnessed (and recorded) by hundreds of witnesses.

All it takes in an American court to convict a criminal (generally speaking) is 3 eye-witnesses that say the bad guy did it. But when hundreds of people saw AND recorded what Jesus did during his lifetime, so many people balk. Strange.

Wundt - You are not the judge. Neither am I. Does it seem fair to me, a Christian? Not entirely. However, keep in mind that God doesn`t judge us purely on our actions, but on our thought lives as well. Every wicked thought we`ve had (and the Hindu doctor and atheist nurse) is held against us.

No one, and I mean NO ONE, has EVER gone to hell for a failure to believe in Jesus Christ as their savior...

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Female 470
word, Janus, word
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Male 409
Reformer81... I gave the following scenario to the christians I talked to.

"There ia a Hindu medical doctor and an atheist nurse, both of whom volunteer at a community medical center and who, combined, have saved and improved the lives of thousands of people. They have never committed any significant crime or engaged in overtly `immoral` activity. Then, a lifelong criminal enters the clinic, kills the doctor and rapes and kills the nurse. He is fatally shot by the police. During his last momments, he has a heartfelt `conversion` and accept JC `into his heart`. By christan teaching... he would be accepted to heaven while the two he killed... hell (or non-heaven).

I cannot believe in any religion, or in any god, where your worship of him is more important than how you behave. It shows that christianity has no moral authority and that christian should stop claiming their religion as a moral compass.

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Male 25,416
Ha just checking back, yep, its gotten to be a religious debate!
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Male 294
Speaking as an athiest (or more specifically as a don`t care agnostic)...

Religion as a tool HAS it`s place. There are perfectly good reasons to have it.

If a watering hole would get you sick, and you had no idea of well contamination from bacteria, saying it`s a "cursed well" will keep folks from drinking from it and getting sick.

If you`re in the desert and there`s no form of automobile or refridgeration, saying that you shouldn`t eat shellfish is probably smart, as it`s not preservable (like fish), probably spoiled from the heat, and would likely kill you.

The problem is that the core wisdom of the religion is the Old Testament, which is based on a desert tribe. While some ideas are still pretty good and universal (don`t kill, don`t steal, don`t want your neighbors stuff), others don`t make any sense because our lifestyle is different.

We need to work on the why`s behind the stories. Because now we DO have the understanding.

Let`s use it.

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Female 299
haha, religion.
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Male 587
Heaven is just ANOTHER way for the church to control simple minded people. If you believe you are NOT free. You are a sheep. Make believe is for kids grow up and look at the real world people instead of living in a fantasy that does not exist. Just cause a book says it is true does not make it true.
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Male 447
Almightybob has never heard of an allegory apparently.
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Male 2,220
"We didn`t create (and we don`t rule) heaven."

I think someone, somewhere along the line did create heaven, as a concept. Sounded good (especially for controlling a population mired in the mud) so it caught on. You`ll get your reward in the afterlife, the suffering will be worthwhile etc.

"god will provide a way,
you read about it every day,
all you have to do is pray,
and furnish his house with silver"

[ Danielle Dax, Big Hollow Man ]

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Female 285
Hah, heaven`s pretty flexible.
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Male 4,290
[quote]And almightybob, nice try, kid; but your "clever trap" is flawed from the beginning.
[...]
He said "You believe because you have seen, but blessed are those who believe but have not seen."[/quote]

Either Thomas got into heaven, or he didn`t. If he did, then I`m right. If he didn`t, then Jesus screwed Thomas over by appearing to him. Jesus took away Thomas` free will to believe without seeing. Just like he did when he appeared before the 500, and indeed everyone else who saw him after the resurrection. Were they all damned to miss out on heaven for believing after seeing? Either believing after seeing is good enough, or it isn`t. If it isn`t, Jesus condemned to hell everyone he appeared to after the resurrection.

Frankly, whether they got into heaven or not is irrelevant. The point is, Thomas said "I won`t believe until I see", and Jesus made a personal appearance to him to convince him. But he won`t do the same for me.

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Male 4,290
[quote]Just because you`ve never read the Bible and therefore base your entire understanding of the faith upon the few outspoken(and crazy), self-professing "Christian" representatives doesn`t mean that you need to single out this one religion for ridicule.

Make fun of them all or none.[/quote]

I have read the Bible plenty of times. I was raised Catholic so I was made to read it a lot then, and I often use quotes from the Bible to point out flaws in any one person`s stance which they say is "based on what the Bible says" - eg they say all you have to do to get into heaven is accept Jesus, but Jesus himself said that to get into heaven you need to be "more righteous than a Pharisee" (Matthew 5:20) - i.e. be more devout than the Pharisees, who followed all 400+ OT laws.

And I do consider all religions equally ridiculous, but I don`t encounter the others anywhere near as often as Christianity.

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Male 122
Just be thankful that we can have this dialogue without fear of persecution. While you`re at it, be thankful to those who put their lives at risk everyday to keep us safe (police, fire fighters, and soldiers) and for those who`ve gone before to fight for our rights. Through their sacrifices, we can continue to have these debates, speak freely, and maintain the freedom to make our own choices.
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Male 176
So Jesus died for all of humanities sins, and all I have to do is accept Him as my savior, and I get to go to Heaven?
This doesn`t Jive with me because of this fact. If someone committed a murder, and is on trial, and I go in to the court and say "I`ll take his place it`s ok", do you really think that is the right thing to do? Would the family of the victim really say think this is the just? And should the judge even allow this?
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Male 38
And almightybob, nice try, kid; but your "clever trap" is flawed from the beginning.

Truth be told, no body knows for sure if Thomas went to heaven. But do you not remember what Jesus said to him immediately after proving His resurrection?

He said "You believe because you have seen, but blessed are those who believe but have not seen."

To Wundt: You mention a non-believer living a "good life?" By whose standards? Yours? Society`s? We didn`t create and we don`t rule heaven. God does. He decides the standards, not us. Don`t like His laws? Then don`t obey them. But don`t cry if and when you`re denied something for your choices.

No one is good. Not the rapist. Not Mother Theresa. Not according to God`s standards. That`s the whole point of Jesus` death and resurrection.

The Jews and Romans didn`t kill Jesus... God the Father crushed Jesus under the full weight of his own wrath against sin.

Perhaps you should all read the Bible before

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Male 38
So... what is with I-A-B`s fanatical anti-Christian agenda lately? Why not take on the Hindus? The Muslims?

Just because you`ve never read the Bible and therefore base your entire understanding of the faith upon the few outspoken(and crazy), self-professing "Christian" representatives doesn`t mean that you need to single out this one religion for ridicule.

Make fun of them all or none.

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Male 2,220
"I once asked this exact question to Christians and they said, "yes, this is absolutely correct" and "yes, we are okay with it". The idea that a non-believer who lives a good life should be denied heaven (in their eyes) while a `christian` criminal is let in is one of the most wrong-headed aspects of the christian faith. "

Actually its key for recruitment. If you`re not in this club you can`t come in.

Its all a spin off from our basic tribal nature, a god thats on `our` team.

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Male 409
I once asked this exact question to Christians and they said, "yes, this is absolutely correct" and "yes, we are okay with it". The idea that a non-believer who lives a good life should be denied heaven (in their eyes) while a `christian` criminal is let in is one of the most wrong-headed aspects of the christian faith.
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Male 4,290
[quote]And why would the Apostle Thomas not go to heaven. He may have doubted Christ`s resurrection but this is a VERY typical of humankind to begin with and completely on par with the OT. [/quote]

So he did get in? Good. Then all Jesus has to do to save my soul is do the same thing he did for Thomas - appear personally, and prove it. If he loves everyone equally, he`ll do the same for me that he did for Thomas.

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Male 162
ammit13fma: That makes perfect sense and conforms to the ideas in the Bible to begin with. However it is possible to lose faith. The Israelites did it quite often. Difficult to not see this from the OT. True absolution cannot be unless you truly know the wrong you have committed and that you truly wish to be made whole again. Thus lies the problem with humanity. We cannot see past our own faults and the more graven the crime we simply cannot accept the idea that the perpetrator can even be healed. (S)he is condemned for life. And why would the Apostle Thomas not go to heaven. He may have doubted Christ`s resurrection but this is a VERY typical of humankind to begin with and completely on par with the OT.
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Male 4,290
Christians, could one of you tell me - did the apostle Thomas get into heaven?
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Male 703
rape can get you into heaven?
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Male 276
ohthedrama, would you perhaps be catholic?

I was raised southern and general baptist...we believe there is not death bed confusion and that true absolution of sin come for realizing the wrong you did and strive to make amend for the rest of your life (sound grim). But southern baptist do not believe in backsliding (losing your faith) they believe those who lost there faith never believed int eh first place

sorry I-Am-bers I always fidn the dogma of the clergy to be a little weird and thus studied it

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Male 162
That`s NOT how it works....... exactly. Again.. when someone looks at something else without knowing a damn thing about it, you get this. The Sacrament of Penance ONLY works on someone who MEANS and if you think that`s easy, remember who you are trying to convince.
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Male 271
there by the grace of god.... it`s a simple enough idea.

unless of course your anti religious bias derives amusement from anything that in any way makes fun of god/religion/faith.

ha, religious joke, god is silly. ha ha. sweet.

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Male 970
but for the catholics you just have to burn a few years before entering heaven.
and compared to eternity in heaven nobody cares how long you burn before, simple math
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Male 970
nice one
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Male 102
This is how it works for Baptists. If you`re Catholic, acting like an non-nice individual will score you negative points against God.
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Male 2,049
Anyone who posts an atom.com links on this website is immediately escorted to hell as soon as they die no matter how many times they repent.
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Male 2,893
that`s how it works.
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Male 447
Because, Lazyme, you have to in your heart believe you did something wrong, and repent for what you did wrong. Its not enough to say, "oh no if I don`t say I`m sorry I`ll be screwed". Stop trolling.
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Male 10,440
[quote] but if you truly in your heart are not interested in repenting, you`re screwed.[/quote]

If *the plan* is to repent just before death, as it is in the cartoon, why wouldn`t you "truly in your heart be interested in repenting".

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Male 670
Heh. Heathen.
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Male 505
LOL GORODETSKY
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Male 2,551
What if he truley did believe he had done wrong, and repented.
That wouldn`t take back what he had done, would it?
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Female 459
I agree with what looks to be 50% of the comment section, and makes me happy to know I`m not the only Christian on I-A-B. You can easily say you repent, but if you truly in your heart are not interested in repenting, you`re screwed.
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Male 203
Loopholes ares Hilalious!
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Male 1,265
i think people miss the point of faith. it`s not profess with the lips and that`s it. you have to have it in your heart. almost anybody would accept somebody if they had a change of heart, so why wouldn`t god? but then it wouldn`t be funny.
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Female 5,222
wow..
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Female 59
@LandoGriffin

Exactly what I was thinking.

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Male 1,406
"Oh, Mephistopholes!"
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Male 3,842
Where is the second panel and then the third panel with the punchline?
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Male 26
Nice! Now he gets to rape and mutilate the poo out of her for all eternity. Suppose she will have to accept her fate and just enjoy it, maybe even fall in love. Truly heavenly!
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Male 1,929
To be honest, if you though about the Christian God (of all things) just before you died, you probably would really really really mean the apology in your last seconds.
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Male 335
Sweet! That means I can use religion in the last seconds of my life but be an atheist the rest of the time! Thank you, Christianity!
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Female 127
Aka: How atheists view religion.
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Female 147
Micket, That makes so much sense. No wonder life is messed up. TheOleGreatOne keeps forgetting about us.
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Male 7,831
thats a handy little piece of advice
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Male 3,619
it`s funny because religion is a hoax <3
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Male 246
Oh, I forgot to mention: don`t count that you will die slowly and have those 10 seconds.

You can die instantly (car crash, shot in the head, run over by truck, stroke, break neck in bike/motorbike fall, etc).

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Male 447
Well I was gonna say that is cartoon is stupid because you obviously need to believe in your repentance for it to mean anything, but I see that everyone beat me to it, so i`ll just say GO GIANTS!!
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Male 246
It only takes 10 seconds to SAY you repent.

From the dialog, tt looks like the girl didn`t forgive, so she shouldn`t be there either. To forgive is almost like forgetting, but as humans we don`t have the capacity to forget on purpose. But God forgets, forgives, and gives us yet another chance.

Hell is full of people with good intentions. But faith without deeds is dead.

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Male 3,425
You may as well give it a shot on your deathbed, it only takes 10 seconds to "repent". Best of both worlds!
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Male 326
Raised christian myself, and yes, it does work that way. The Key is "accepting jesus into your heart" so it would have to a sincere desire for repentance and change, but it would work.

No if someone we`re just "uh, hey Jesus, I`m dyin and, uh, I`m sorry, so lemme in now." No it wouldn`t.

But this is one of the many reasons I`m agnostic.

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Female 3
Hey star maybe you should I don`t know, read the Bible before speaking? The church honestly believed that confession was the way to get to heaven, ever heard of the tabernacle? The Catholic church didn`t "invent" confession they might have misused it, but it was a good idea in theory. Adam was standing next to Eve when she "caused the fall"
and was punished. Remember that whole thought that men where supposed to take care of women? And maybe you could, I don`t know, calm down and take this as the joke is was meant to be?
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Male 131
So who is this Jesus Christ guy that everyone is talking about? Never heard of him. Was he some kind of Mexican king or something? This guy came by my house last Saturday and asked if I had heard the "Good News"...I asked if Obama had been impeached. He said no and told me Jesus loved me and killed himself because I like to take a drink every now and then and I once saw a nudie movie on HBO.
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Female 15,763
"What a very fascinating and not at all controversial topic this is."

That`s because that`s how we roll. 8-)

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Male 12
That`s drating ridiculous, just before you die you beg to God it doesn`t work like that. So 2 seconds before Hitler died, he said "Sorry, forgive me." After he killed millions of innocent people. Your drating retarded go die you mean person.
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Male 40,752
[quote]...2000 years of Catholicism have been the most bloody in the history of humankind...[/quote]
Oh obviously StarDagger! The Mongel Hordes, pre-columbian Aztecs, China`s Emipres, all because of the Catholics! The source of all evil and wickedness in the universe! Surprised you didn`t also blame the Jews while you were at it...
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Male 1,190
@C Bowler
"im catholic and the way i have interpreted the forgiveness is not that you need to believe it, as long as you acknowledge it and put forth even the most minimal effort. god always gives forgiveness to those who ask for it. therefore that pic could be true. either way, don`t get angry over it. just enjoy it, think of it like a comedic skit. it a comedian were to have said that, you all would be laughing."

This is such a fracked up theology I do not even know where to start. Maybe at the Church, who created the idea of Confession to gain power over the royal families of Europe? Maybe at the fracked up book of Genesis, that blames women for the "Fall"? Maybe with the fact that the 2000 years of Catholicism have been the most bloody in the history of humankind, due mainly in part to the Church? Maybe at the fact that you have no idea what forgiveness and admission of guilt means, looking at your self-serving statement.

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Male 40,752
Stupid cartoon, lazy cartoonist.
IF he really did accept Jesus & Christianity, God would know (obviously) and he`d get into christian heaven. What`s wrong with being surprised? It`s not like the female is saying "You don`t belong in Heaven, get out!" or something.
Now as for this being a good idea, as opposed to living honestly and being good? Don`t bet your life, er soul, on it, eh?
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Female 208
I think the man saying,"that`s all it took" can be proof he didn`t really mean the forgiveness and really accepted whoever or whatever.
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Male 1,764
In the next panel, she is sent to Hell for irate.
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Male 3,014
What a very fascinating and not at all controversial topic this is.
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Male 296
Well according to:
Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

So that must mean that the female angel in that pic should go up and give him a big hug and say you`re forgiven, instead of saying "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?". Yep, I can see that happening here on earth too.

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Male 95
This is had it worked in the beginning. Roman big-wigs would worship their gods and goddesses, then on their death-beds convert. Xians at the time didn`t mind, since it meant some form of acceptance in society at large. This eventually gave way to some Romans openly practicing, and eventually the faith moving from cult status to state religion when Constantin had a dream, of a flaming cross, and the words "By this sign shall you conquer" or something like that.

And the rest, is history. And so was that, but meh, you get the idea. Also, history aside, this cartoon is right given that even in the bible itself there are the two thieves tacked up along JC, and one repents while dying on the cross as well. It`s right there, in writing, in the bible.

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Female 961
lol so true
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Male 25,416
O the controversy! let it begin!
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Male 299
im catholic and the way i have interpreted the forgiveness is not that you need to believe it, as long as you acknowledge it and put forth even the most minimal effort. god always gives forgiveness to those who ask for it. therefore that pic could be true. either way, don`t get angry over it. just enjoy it, think of it like a comedic skit. it a comedian were to have said that, you all would be laughing.
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Male 601
Reminds me of the Godfather for some reason
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Female 291
Yeah that`s not how forgivness goes at all, but their ignorance won`t hurt me.
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Female 1,395
That`s utter lameness. Christians say it doesnt work like that; you can`t `decide` to suddenly believe that Jesus was the son of God and accept the biblical God as is; i know, ive tried, really hard! you either believe or you don`t. I dont know where that faith comes from; it doesnt seem to be something a person can rationalise themselves into, and if you genuinly believe, know whats wrong or a `sin` then you dont choose the time of your remorse, thats how conscience works; if you have one. If its a genuine process. And according to Christians God knows if youre BS-ing anyway, so this lazy cliche of a cartoon isnt working on more than 1 level.
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Male 1,406
Yeah, but if you are always doing good, you have full-time coverage, instead of just deathbed.
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Male 5,314
yup. that about sums it up. funny right?
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Male 1,381
oh I can`t wait to see the war this is about to ignite.
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Male 53
Definately gonna do that!
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Male 363
thats kinda what my bible teacher says.
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Male 20,911
Link: What To Do Seconds Before You Die... [Pic] [Rate Link] - If this is how it really works, then we`re probably all gonna be OK.
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