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Rating: 3.6
Category: Weird
Date: 12/24/09 09:01 AM

78 Responses to Married Jonas Brother Says Sex Not Worth the Wait?

  1. Profile photo of eugenius
    eugenius Male 30-39
    1620 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 7:10 am
    Link: Married Jonas Brother Says Sex Not Worth the Wait? - If you didn`t hear, virgin-until-married Kevin Jonas got married days ago. Has sex on honeymoon, insults wife afterward.
  2. Profile photo of vegascartman
    vegascartman Male 30-39
    735 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:08 am
    So how long do you think it will be until she files for divorce?
  3. Profile photo of plasticjesus
    plasticjesus Male 13-17
    49 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:10 am
    HAHAHA "that`s it?" "that`s what she said" haha
  4. Profile photo of AlexTron
    AlexTron Male 18-29
    534 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:11 am
    The article says it was her who said "That`s it" lulz


    This is why practice makes perfect. :D

  5. Profile photo of Elle1987
    Elle1987 Female 18-29
    519 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:12 am
    He wasn`t doing it right.
  6. Profile photo of fancylady
    fancylady Female 30-39
    864 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:14 am
    maybe he would be less disappointed if he would just admit that he wants to take it in the bum from some other dude .
  7. Profile photo of lostinkorea
    lostinkorea Female 30-39
    3727 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:14 am
    Thursday, December 24, 2009 9:08:43 AM
    So how long do you think it will be until she files for divorce?
    _________________________________________________

    2 months...I mean marrying a virgin??? Hahaha

  8. Profile photo of leesah
    leesah Female 18-29
    1566 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:16 am
    Then he is DEFINITELY doing it wrong.
    Which I`m not surprised about.
  9. Profile photo of patchouly
    patchouly Male 40-49
    4746 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:17 am
    What can you expect? He`s a Jonas Brother. None of them are any good at music. Why would they be good at anything that required passion?
  10. Profile photo of lukas1051
    lukas1051 Male 18-29
    3426 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:18 am
    He`s either doing it wrong, or he`s gay.
  11. Profile photo of lostinkorea
    lostinkorea Female 30-39
    3727 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:21 am
    How would he know to do it right? HE`S A VIRGIN...I`m surprised he even knew where to put it..
  12. Profile photo of the_phantom
    the_phantom Male 18-29
    510 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:25 am
    after the `thats what shesaid` thing, this has got to be fke
  13. Profile photo of bobhub600
    bobhub600 Male 13-17
    964 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:30 am
    Silly Jonas brother!
    What are you doing with a woman ?
    You can`t please a woman, go back to men.
  14. Profile photo of bluethen
    bluethen Male 13-17
    616 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:35 am
    He`s wrong! Anyone care to demonstrate with me?
  15. Profile photo of Nidonemo
    Nidonemo Male 18-29
    9308 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:45 am
    And now cue the unhappy relationship.
  16. Profile photo of sonikku
    sonikku Male 18-29
    350 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:45 am
    waiting with sex until you`re married is like waiting with test rides until you`ve bought a car already.
  17. Profile photo of Mweebles
    Mweebles Female 18-29
    1653 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:51 am
    and now the brothers toss their purity rings out the window. lol
  18. Profile photo of Geogypsy
    Geogypsy Female 18-29
    2546 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:53 am
    Poor, poor girl...what was she thinking?
  19. Profile photo of Hiromi
    Hiromi Female 18-29
    1149 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:55 am
    I have to agree with him. Luckily, I didn`t get married.
  20. Profile photo of himmm
    himmm Male 70 & Over
    189 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:59 am
    "waiting with sex until you`re married is like waiting with test rides until you`ve bought a car already. "
    i cant wait till u get ur std and ur all like `wtf? i was just havin a good tiem`
  21. Profile photo of The_Maddog
    The_Maddog Male 30-39
    3369 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 10:06 am
    Wow...he lost his virginity and makes out sex`s isnt worth it...well duh..your first time isnt "awesome". You and it get better with practice!

    But of course..thats where the Jonas idiots fail...

  22. Profile photo of akabane
    akabane Male 18-29
    1093 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 10:06 am
    I hate him for says "thats what she said" I hate people when they say that. AKABANE MAD!! AKABANE SMASH!!
  23. Profile photo of MYCHEMGIRL
    MYCHEMGIRL Female 13-17
    1287 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 10:08 am
    ... Maybe he`s just trying to steer his young fans into not having sex so young?
  24. Profile photo of RomanticGoth
    RomanticGoth Male 13-17
    48 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 10:25 am
    he`s a tard if he doesn`t know that it gets better as you go along. riding your bike the first time wasn`t so great either, was it?
  25. Profile photo of SheaSF
    SheaSF Male 40-49
    98 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 10:29 am
    FYI: Andy Borowitz is a satirist. The article is a joke.
  26. Profile photo of BunnyNaku
    BunnyNaku Female 18-29
    5224 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 10:32 am
    rofl yep thats it. and its kinda rofl that everyone makes the car reference when it comes to sex.
  27. Profile photo of lemonstand
    lemonstand Female 18-29
    169 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 10:56 am
    sex isn`t amazing unless you make it amazing
  28. Profile photo of KannaLilly
    KannaLilly Female 13-17
    635 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 10:59 am
    Never marry a celebrity. They`ll talk about you sex life for their tween-age fans to see.
  29. Profile photo of SalokinX
    SalokinX Male 18-29
    51 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 11:14 am
    hahaha

    so, what hes trying to say is: dont wait for sex, just do it...

    i knew it! nike was right all along! suck on that disney

  30. Profile photo of SalokinX
    SalokinX Male 18-29
    51 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 11:16 am
    hahaha

    so, what hes trying to say is: dont wait for sex, just do it...

    i knew it! nike was right all along! suck on that disney

  31. Profile photo of simim23
    simim23 Female 18-29
    1427 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 11:17 am
    It`s funny as hell to think that, if he`d actually had sex before he was married, and maintained safe sexual practices, his wife sure as hell wouldn`t be saying "That`s it?" afterwards.
  32. Profile photo of SalokinX
    SalokinX Male 18-29
    51 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 11:18 am
    hahaha

    so, what hes trying to say is: dont wait for sex, just do it...

    i knew it! nike was right all along! suck on that disney

  33. Profile photo of SheaSF
    SheaSF Male 40-49
    98 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 11:23 am
    I think it`s funny that some of you think Keven Jonas really gave a news conference to talk about his first time. Read the article. Not just the headline.
  34. Profile photo of cobrakiller
    cobrakiller Male 18-29
    7473 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 11:28 am
    none of them are actually married as far as i know, but this would be hilarious.
  35. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 11:36 am
    Right!
  36. Profile photo of peloos12
    peloos12 Male 18-29
    3822 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 11:43 am
    The Borowitz Report ~ The Onion
  37. Profile photo of SebastianLam
    SebastianLam Male 13-17
    730 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 11:48 am
    "That`s what she said..." Ha people are gullible.
  38. Profile photo of icecream2269
    icecream2269 Female 18-29
    523 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 11:53 am
    hahaha
  39. Profile photo of Alanda
    Alanda Female 18-29
    295 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 12:02 pm
    hahahaha! If this were real...he would have crushed the hopes and dreams of many a twelve year-old
  40. Profile photo of Odyne
    Odyne Female 30-39
    236 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 12:13 pm
    It wasn`t worth the wait?

    ... You`re doing it wrong!

  41. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15774 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 12:51 pm
    As much as I respect and honor those people who do wish to wait until they are married to have sex, I feel like the "purity" concept that people are spreading hypes up a girl`s virginity so much it`s like the only thing she`s worth.

    Oh, and what exactly do they tell gay teens to wait until? Marriage, for most of them, isn`t going to happen, legally.

  42. Profile photo of OmgZelda
    OmgZelda Female 18-29
    1593 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 1:11 pm
    "It wasn`t worth the wait?

    ... You`re doing it wrong!"

    My thoughts exactly.

  43. Profile photo of chillydown
    chillydown Female 18-29
    25 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 1:42 pm
    I bet there are 13 and 14 year old girl all around the world that would LOVE to help him realize that it IS worth it. And yes, I said 13 and 14.
  44. Profile photo of vthokie4
    vthokie4 Male 18-29
    47 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 1:49 pm
    Well, I guess if he waited this long for 3 seconds...
  45. Profile photo of han5nah
    han5nah Female 13-17
    735 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 1:52 pm
    wow.
  46. Profile photo of AC1
    AC1 Male 18-29
    35 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 2:13 pm
    Dude.

    I just gained a little respect for Kevin Jonas.

  47. Profile photo of ada_baby
    ada_baby Female 18-29
    282 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 2:26 pm
    hilarious. girls everywhere just melted their chastity rings into navel rings
  48. Profile photo of SarahofBorg
    SarahofBorg Female 18-29
    3564 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 2:31 pm
    Of COURSE it wasn`t worth it. Sex isn`t very fun or special until you`ve had plenty of experience with the same person for a long time. The first time is always nothing special and is extremely overrated. Plus, he`s been waiting this long, his expectations were probably extremely off.
  49. Profile photo of sbuninja
    sbuninja Female 18-29
    168 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 2:35 pm
    "That`s what she said"
  50. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 2:36 pm
    As much as I respect and honor those people who do wish to wait until they are married to have sex, I feel like the "purity" concept that people are spreading hypes up a girl`s virginity so much it`s like the only thing she`s worth.

    If, as you say, the "purity" concept is only preached to female people, why does this story exist? The Jonas brother in question is a man, isn`t he?

    Or are you just being feminist about it?

    Oh, and what exactly do they tell gay teens to wait until? Marriage, for most of them, isn`t going to happen, legally.

    I think it would be a mistake to think they give a damn about anyone who`s not completely heterosexual. If they say anything at all, it will be about sin, SIN! And I tell them to go away and fornicate with a pig.

  51. Profile photo of your0mom
    your0mom Male 13-17
    374 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 2:48 pm
    Idiot

    least he learned something

  52. Profile photo of cagel
    cagel Female 18-29
    275 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 3:28 pm
    They clearly did it wrong.
  53. Profile photo of BBQ
    BBQ Male 18-29
    467 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 3:44 pm
    @SarahofBorg >> I`d say it`s a bit more accurate to say that the first time will probably not be "great" but also it`s a bit more exciting than having sex with your GF/BF for the 200th time.

    Other than that, you`re completely correct. Anyway, it`d be a mistake to wait for most people. There will always be those individuals that should never, ever procreate..

  54. Profile photo of EvilGrouse
    EvilGrouse Male 30-39
    454 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 3:59 pm
    Pencil dicked screwdog. You could probably fit a promise ring on his ding a ling. Oh, and his chick is fugly.
  55. Profile photo of GlooStikk
    GlooStikk Male 18-29
    1297 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 4:45 pm
    you know better than to wait for marriage.
  56. Profile photo of Aus10816
    Aus10816 Male 18-29
    639 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 5:43 pm
    He didn`t like it because he`s GAY. They`re all gay.
  57. Profile photo of JimmytheMed
    JimmytheMed Male 18-29
    46 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 5:48 pm
    "They clearly did it wrong."
    Sex is never "Amazing" unless the partners have either been together for quite some time or one of them is a sex god/dess. Most people, of both sexes, think sex is just bouncing up and down for ten min and then going to sleep. But then, most people are idiots. Sex isn`t that great anyways. Cuddling/teasing>sex most of the time.
  58. Profile photo of _kiersten_
    _kiersten_ Female 18-29
    1682 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 7:33 pm
    ...Is this...is it...real? I was expecting the Onion sign to pop up or something >_> This is hilarious though.
  59. Profile photo of obesepig
    obesepig Female 13-17
    505 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 7:57 pm
    what a f.a.g
  60. Profile photo of flyingpie
    flyingpie Male 13-17
    470 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 7:58 pm
    i have a feeling jimmy the med is secretly a woman
  61. Profile photo of tws8631
    tws8631 Male 50-59
    316 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 9:34 pm
    Hair trigger gun. SHE said "that`s it?!!"
  62. Profile photo of GosuPaul
    GosuPaul Male 18-29
    516 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 10:12 pm
    "I bet there are 13 and 14 year old girl all around the world that would LOVE to help him realize that it IS worth it. And yes, I said 13 and 14."

    Consider that, and then imagine if they used him to play Edward Cullen in the Twilight movies.

    He could probably rule the world.

    No joke.

    "i have a feeling jimmy the med is secretly a woman "

    Agreed.

  63. Profile photo of cagel
    cagel Female 18-29
    275 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 10:21 pm
    JimmytheMed:

    I have had mindblowingly fantastic casual sex on a number of occasions. Sex can be totally amazing and regularly is for me. I`ve only had lame sex when my partner was not communicative. So maybe if Mr. Jonas or you is having a lame time in the sack you should look at yourselves rather than downplaying sex.

    It`s not sex`s fault you`re bad at it.

  64. Profile photo of OrangeCrow
    OrangeCrow Female 18-29
    1199 posts
    December 24, 2009 at 10:47 pm
    "They clearly did it wrong."

    That, or he`s gay. =x

  65. Profile photo of zanneh
    zanneh Male 13-17
    130 posts
    December 25, 2009 at 1:58 am
    small penis.
  66. Profile photo of JimmytheMed
    JimmytheMed Male 18-29
    46 posts
    December 25, 2009 at 4:59 am
    cagel:
    There we have it. You`re good at sex. Pretty sure I mentioned somewhere that sex is good when one or more of the partners is good at it.

    flyingpie: What, because I prefer cuddling to sex? I`ve been in severe chronic pain my entire life and having every muscle in my body contract like I`m lifting five times my body weight isn`t often an appealing concept for me. My standards for good sex are also set somewhere above just getting off.

  67. Profile photo of 0Sigma0
    0Sigma0 Female 30-39
    525 posts
    December 25, 2009 at 5:54 am
    I watched about 15 minutes of True Story: Jonas Brothers or whatever those shows are on Bravo or E! channel and I hate to be stereotypical, but this guy would easily pass for gay with his high voice and his "delicate" persona.
    I imagine one day he will come out and he`ll be happy. Until then, he`ll keep pretending like sex isn`t good.
  68. Profile photo of alexus2394
    alexus2394 Female 13-17
    291 posts
    December 25, 2009 at 9:50 am
    Perhaps it would have been more pleasurable for him if he did not have to hold back on the act because he had to surpress his burning desire for male genitalia.Alas, his wifr can never give him what he truly lusts for.
    lmao.
  69. Profile photo of luvsushi
    luvsushi Female 18-29
    169 posts
    December 25, 2009 at 10:57 am
    maybe cause it was his first time....or cuz he`s gay
  70. Profile photo of magoo22
    magoo22 Male 30-39
    660 posts
    December 25, 2009 at 2:10 pm
    Virgins are like vampires. You read about them all the time; some people actually believe they exist, but they`re nowhere to be seen!
  71. Profile photo of Zerro
    Zerro Male 18-29
    628 posts
    December 25, 2009 at 5:30 pm
    You people sound like a Junior High locker room...
  72. Profile photo of daiquirikiss
    daiquirikiss Female 18-29
    12 posts
    December 26, 2009 at 8:04 pm
    first time is always the worst!!!!
  73. Profile photo of duffytoler
    duffytoler Male 40-49
    5195 posts
    December 26, 2009 at 8:42 pm
    SHE was the one who said "That`s it?"

    That experience will wreck his life. Believe me.

  74. Profile photo of heracy
    heracy Male 30-39
    33 posts
    December 28, 2009 at 10:37 pm
    hmm the jump after the link leads to a high security risk website.
  75. Profile photo of scotimann
    scotimann Male 40-49
    59 posts
    December 29, 2009 at 12:44 am
    "That`s what she said." Ha!

    -----------------------

    NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Just days after tying the knot after years of abstinence, Kevin Jonas of the pop sensation the Jonas Brothers stunned his teenaged fans by announcing that "to be honest about it, sex was not worth the wait."

    "After we did it, I was kind of like, that`s it?" Mr. Jonas told reporters at a New York press conference.

    As to whether Mr. Jonas` bride agreed with his "that`s it?" assessment, Mr. Jonas remarked, "That`s what she said."

  76. Profile photo of LandoGriffin
    LandoGriffin Male 30-39
    3844 posts
    December 29, 2009 at 1:53 am
    I`m not sure which one is who, but isn`t Kevin Jonas the really really ugly one, as opposed to the somewhat ugly one (who I think is Nick) and the not quite so ugly one (Joe or something like that)?
  77. Profile photo of mayasplee1
    mayasplee1 Female 13-17
    64 posts
    December 29, 2009 at 7:30 am
    "I`m not sure which one is who, but isn`t Kevin Jonas the really really ugly one, as opposed to the somewhat ugly one (who I think is Nick) and the not quite so ugly one (Joe or something like that)?"

    Sadly I know that Kevin is the one with the 70`s sideburns, Joe is the one with psycho eyebrows, and Nick is the one with crazy curly hair.

  78. Profile photo of jinxiejae
    jinxiejae Female 30-39
    2927 posts
    February 12, 2010 at 6:03 pm
    thats why you PRACTICE you idiot!

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