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Category: Funny
Date: 12/13/09 01:05 PM

125 Responses to Conservative Group Aims to Make Bible Less Liberal

  1. Profile photo of Pooptart19
    Pooptart19 Male 18-29
    2441 posts
    December 12, 2009 at 9:00 am
    Link: Conservative Group Aims to Make Bible Less Liberal - Give up your worldly possessions? Help the poor? Screw that! Jesus was no liberal hippy!
  2. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 1:10 pm
    O dear let the arguement begin!
  3. Profile photo of Spirithound
    Spirithound Male 18-29
    814 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 1:10 pm
    ay caramba...these ppl think Jesus forgiving his executioners was out of character??"?
  4. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15774 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 1:13 pm
    Come get your marshmallows for the flame war! $2 a bag, fresh, fluffy, and controversial! BYOS: Bring your own stick. Coooome get them!
  5. Profile photo of michaelcsr
    michaelcsr Male 40-49
    559 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 1:14 pm
    No, you`re wrong. Jesus was compasionate and loved everyone. Conservatives love only themselves and their money. If Jesus came back today, most of the conservative republicans would be left behind. The Bible says you can`t add to it or take from it. And these fools say they are more rightous than liberals, yet they do exactly what the Bible tells them not to do. Jesus was a democrat!!!
  6. Profile photo of CharmingLad
    CharmingLad Male 13-17
    2 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 1:21 pm
    Wow, I`m an atheist, but that still offends me.

    But then again, conservatives always twist the bible to fit their needs, at least now they`re being honest by coming out an admitting what they`re doing.

  7. Profile photo of patchouly
    patchouly Male 40-49
    4746 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 1:34 pm
    LOL!
  8. Profile photo of tvremote
    tvremote Male 18-29
    447 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 1:35 pm
    It`s hilarious how conservatives are becoming almost a caricature of themselves. Well, to be fair liberals are doing the same.
    People who only associate with people of the same ideology tend to become more radical, and that is exactly what I see happening in this country. Very sad.
  9. Profile photo of SamVimes
    SamVimes Male 30-39
    619 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 1:36 pm

  10. Profile photo of unsub
    unsub Female 18-29
    924 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 1:38 pm
    I expected an onion article ...
  11. Profile photo of FadGadget
    FadGadget Male 18-29
    76 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 1:48 pm
    As an Agnostic and a Conservative, I find this just sad.
    I don`t believe religion should play any part within Politics.
    Obviously religion is more intertwined with emotional thought (an oxymoron, in my view), and what politics needs is cold `heartless` logic, for strictly logic is the rational and reasonable way to govern.
  12. Profile photo of mervviscious
    mervviscious Male 40-49
    1793 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 1:52 pm
    He`s a nut... He was on Colbert the other night, Colbert tore him up...
  13. Profile photo of shunpo_31
    shunpo_31 Male 18-29
    1381 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 2:02 pm
    If you`re going to read the Bible, and are too lazy to learn Hebrew and Greek, go ahead and sit the theological discussions out and let the big kids talk, kay? :-)
  14. Profile photo of 420foy
    420foy Male 18-29
    671 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 2:04 pm
    lol @ samvimes, i feel the same... one more reason to not be a religion nut...
  15. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10441 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 2:05 pm
    I find this article funny. If I lived in the US, I`d be worried.

    ... Until now I thought conservopedia was a joke.

    There`s nothing I can do, even if I wanted to. Better to just laugh it off with Colbert.

  16. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10441 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 2:06 pm
    "theological discussion" is an oxymoron.
  17. Profile photo of StarCallista
    StarCallista Female 18-29
    256 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 2:14 pm
    I love the title of the page link.

    "Every translator is a traitor."

    I can practically see the placards now.

  18. Profile photo of sukitjeezus
    sukitjeezus Female 18-29
    134 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 2:17 pm
    Did they just say that they were changing the word laborer to volunteer..?
  19. Profile photo of Zerro
    Zerro Male 18-29
    628 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 2:19 pm
    I look at Jesus and his attitude towards the poor, helpless, depressed, outcasts, criminals and it`s completely opposite of the lifestyle of conservative "Christians".
  20. Profile photo of ElSombrero
    ElSombrero Male 13-17
    716 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 2:30 pm
    *sigh* they only make it worse.
  21. Profile photo of seabass101dg
    seabass101dg Male 18-29
    478 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 2:37 pm
    Zerro wrote:
    "I look at Jesus and his attitude towards the poor, helpless, depressed, outcasts, criminals and it`s completely opposite of the lifestyle of conservative "Christians"."
    Many conservative Christians donate a lot of their time to their churches who are responsible for a lot of the community help for the poor and unfortunate. They just oppose being forced to give the money to the government; an entity who doesn`t really help anyone.
    I`m not a conservative Christian. Just an atheist libertarian taking a 3rd person point of view and opinion.
    Either way, rewriting the bible is horse5h!t.
  22. Profile photo of BABY_BEAR
    BABY_BEAR Female 18-29
    1395 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 2:38 pm
    `and ahistorical passages` - O.o where to start? I once had someone try and convince me Jesus was a object idolising, money hoarding capitalist. People will justify almost anything to them selves when theyre scared, and conservative republicans always come across as the most fearful people.
  23. Profile photo of cobrakiller
    cobrakiller Male 18-29
    7473 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 2:42 pm
    everything in the bible has been tampered with. there is probably not single passage that is the same as it was when it was written. actually, alot of it wasnt even church politics that changed it, but things getting jumbled in translation.
  24. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    33070 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 2:55 pm
    Just as the "feminist Bible" was wrong, and the "Readers Digest" Bible was wrong, this "conservative" one is wrong too!
    However, it is doubly wrong to SLANDER all "right-thinking" Christians as somehow supporting this nonsense. Jesus was a Democrat? Pfft! Yeah, He`d support atheism and abortion for sure.
    So please, just as all lefties don`t support Code Pink, don`t slur all Christians, conservative or otherwise, based on the acts of this tiny group of idiots.
  25. Profile photo of Boadicea
    Boadicea Female 18-29
    1677 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 3:04 pm
    Yeah, what the bible REALLY needs is to be *more* conservative. Definitely.
  26. Profile photo of npdarren
    npdarren Male 18-29
    602 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 3:04 pm
    Looking at things in such a black-and-white manner as to label everything as either conservative or liberal is ridiculous. If I were to label myself as a liberal and support many conservative views--such as pro-life, military spending, private health-care--that fact I`d have labeled myself liberal would make most conservatives think I`m an idiot. We should judge people at face value according to what they do, rather than what they call themselves.

    And I agree with 5cats about not judging an entire group based on what a few idiots do.

  27. Profile photo of Boadicea
    Boadicea Female 18-29
    1677 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 3:06 pm
    WRONG. SLANDER. SLUR. ...ABORTION.

    Keep reacting 5cat, I don`t think you`ve overdone it yet at all.

  28. Profile photo of Zerocyde
    Zerocyde Male 18-29
    3256 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 3:10 pm
    Liberals, conservatives, republicans, and democrats are the stupidest most ignorant bunch of full-on retards this world has ever known.

    Nothing these idiots do anymore really surprises me.

  29. Profile photo of CheeseMan1
    CheeseMan1 Male 18-29
    1408 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 3:16 pm
    changing the bible in any way is wrong

    whats so hard to understand about that

  30. Profile photo of GlooStikk
    GlooStikk Male 18-29
    1297 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 3:16 pm
    "i need a sacred text that addresses current political issues..."
  31. Profile photo of Gorodetsky
    Gorodetsky Male 18-29
    203 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 3:20 pm
    Another whack job fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants group who claims to have "translated" that which has already been done countless times. It`s like the game `telephone` everyone plays in grade school. Even with only ten people and mere minutes of passed time, the sentence which was relayed is garbled beyond recognition. No one has it right, ..... yet.
  32. Profile photo of SpoonFork
    SpoonFork Male 30-39
    1265 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 3:21 pm
    the bible actually demands that the powerful use their power to help the needy. also if you take out helping the needy a lot of people will be going to hell as jesus was very big on this and would sentence you to hell for ignoring the poor and needy. sounds like people in love with their own selves over god, which is another sin.
  33. Profile photo of thedragslay
    thedragslay Female 18-29
    60 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 3:41 pm
    In real life, (the guy who went around preaching things, and who wasn`t holy at all.), Jesus didn`t even care about family, or the poor. He believed the apocalypse was coming, so he was frantically trying to get as many followers as he could, so humanity wouldn`t be condemned, or so he believed.
  34. Profile photo of LandoGriffin
    LandoGriffin Male 30-39
    3844 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 3:48 pm
    Here`s my favorite part: "Professors are the most liberal group of people in the world, and it`s professors who are doing the popular modern translations of the Bible," said Andy Schlafly, founder of Conservapedia.com, the project`s online home.

    Let`s see now, I`m pretty sure that a professor is someone who has devoted his or her entire life to studying a particular subject and as a result is one of the world`s foremost experts on that particular subject. The professor certainly knows more about the subject than the average individual. This guy has a lot of nerve to say that because professors come to liberal conclusions based on a lifetime of study, the professors must all therefore be wrong!

    Perhaps the professors are right and you`re wrong? Noooooo, couldn`t be!

  35. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 3:56 pm
    The Christian bible is liberal? Translators throught the ages have been liberals?

    What are these people on?

  36. Profile photo of Sohltofangy
    Sohltofangy Male 18-29
    103 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 4:04 pm
    People like this generally don`t actually believe in God or a higher power, they try and use it as a tool to control people.
    It`s ridiculous, God said "don`t kill" and they seem to just.. not comprehend that. basically Jesus said "DON`T BE A DICK AND YOU`LL BE GOOD!" God is love, love is God.
  37. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    33070 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 4:10 pm
    Keep reacting 5cat, I don`t think you`ve overdone it yet at all
    - Boadicea
    Yes Boadicea, some things are WRONG, just as some things are correct. (I resisted the urge to say RIGHT, lolz!) (oops, almost resisted!!)
    You think Jesus would support abortion on demand? Feel free to have your opinion! That`s what discussion forums are all about. But in case you didn`t notice before, a fair amount of Christian bashing goes on over topics like this, thought I`d try to point out how silly that is befor it got out of hand.
    Yay! Sarcasm, in such short supply on IAB eh Boadicea...
  38. Profile photo of Boadicea
    Boadicea Female 18-29
    1677 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 4:17 pm
    "Feel free to have your opinion!"

    Thanks!

  39. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10441 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 4:22 pm
    You think Jesus would support abortion on demand?

    I think I could convince Jesus to be an atheist if I were to journey back in time. If he lived, that is.

  40. Profile photo of Loxen
    Loxen Female 30-39
    1387 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 4:25 pm
    I don`t get the religious crowd. Here you have this bible that tells people to be cool with one another, love thy neighbor blah blah and yet I have witnessed church people who are all-too-often filled with the most extreme hate and venom for anyone even slightly different than them, that I`ve ever seen. Baffling. OMG, someone has a different view than you. STONE THEM TO DEATH! Rawr!
  41. Profile photo of urnotthetime
    urnotthetime Male 18-29
    80 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 4:37 pm
    I would love to read that version of the Bible. It would definitely be less boring. I suspect it would end like this: http://tinyurl.com/onaerq
  42. Profile photo of Boadicea
    Boadicea Female 18-29
    1677 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 4:38 pm
    You know what we need? Drive-thru abortion!

    Like Starbucks: one on every corner!

  43. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    33070 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 4:57 pm
    I think I could convince Jesus to be an atheist
    O_o
    Lazyme, I`d pay a dollar to see/hear that conversation! Lolz!
    (can you sell iceboxes to eskimos too?)
  44. Profile photo of whipsmart
    whipsmart Female 18-29
    665 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 5:17 pm
    They don`t see the irony in what they are doing? I hate people.
  45. Profile photo of Wildcats2008
    Wildcats2008 Male 18-29
    237 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 5:24 pm
    I agree with Loxen.

    I went to a Christian university (big mistake) and the church that I attended basically told me I wasn`t welcome to participate in anything there until I changed who I was at the core...and all I did was get in a little conflict with one of the leaders because I was frustrated that everyone made it a habit to be late to a practice.

    Then when I decided I wasn`t going to change who I was for them and stopped going..every person I was friends with stopped talking to me after 5 years of friendship.

    Religion (and in my experience, Christians) is just a means of control. Looking back all the leaders I looked up to were power hungry and only looked out for the people they liked or deemed "worthy".

  46. Profile photo of npdarren
    npdarren Male 18-29
    602 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 5:31 pm
    Yet another version of the Bible, claiming to be the correct one...
  47. Profile photo of Genocyde
    Genocyde Male 30-39
    712 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 5:34 pm
    What`s really funny about this thing is that there are so many people attempting to interpret it and "translate" it even today that I just let `em.

    End of the day, I can still pick it up and read it for myself.

    Those guys must be really desperate to get rid of whatever it is they find so threatening.

  48. Profile photo of Fartacus
    Fartacus Female 50-59
    529 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 5:37 pm
    Revisionism.
  49. Profile photo of beccajdavis
    beccajdavis Female 18-29
    160 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 5:42 pm
    I just don`t understand...how can you change a bible? That means every Christian schmuck was wrong until now, huh?
  50. Profile photo of Skreshavik
    Skreshavik Female 18-29
    1284 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 5:48 pm
    King James bible seems to be the best. Enjoy all that archaic talk and whatnot...wait. Why are there politics in faith?
    :-|
    ...Well. I don`t know what to say.
    I think I`ll go with whipsmart`s comment.
  51. Profile photo of splurbyburbl
    splurbyburbl Male 30-39
    2798 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 5:57 pm
    Really dumb... that is all.
  52. Profile photo of SuperSmash
    SuperSmash Male 18-29
    3758 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 6:31 pm
    As "conservative" as Christians are labeled, Jesus was quite the hippie.
  53. Profile photo of patridiot
    patridiot Male 30-39
    118 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 6:48 pm
    making the bible even more satanic
  54. Profile photo of SuperSmash
    SuperSmash Male 18-29
    3758 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 7:09 pm
    "I just don`t understand...how can you change a bible? That means every Christian schmuck was wrong until now, huh?"

    You can change the Bible just like you can change the Constitution. In many ways, it`s become a legal document, not a holy manuscript.

    We`re all schmucks.

  55. Profile photo of viax
    viax Male 18-29
    8 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 7:17 pm
    Say whatever you want about America but you guys live in a... "interesting" country. :P
  56. Profile photo of Rett
    Rett Male 18-29
    1 post
    December 13, 2009 at 7:22 pm
    "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."
  57. Profile photo of almightybob1
    almightybob1 Male 18-29
    4290 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 7:40 pm
    "Professors are the most liberal group of people in the world, and it`s professors who are doing the popular modern translations of the Bible," said Andy Schlafly, founder of Conservapedia.com

    First off, Conservapedia is the single most retarded website I have ever had the displeasure of viewing, and that includes 4chan.
    Secondly, the reason professors are doing the translating is because people like Andy Schlafy know precisely FA about anything and are woefully underqualified to do anything as taxing as translating an ancient scripture.
    Thirdly, does it seem like a coincidence that professors, unquestionably society`s most intelligent group of individuals, are the most liberal?

  58. Profile photo of Boadicea
    Boadicea Female 18-29
    1677 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 7:42 pm
    Education = Bad!
    Ignorance = Good!
  59. Profile photo of almightybob1
    almightybob1 Male 18-29
    4290 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 7:44 pm
    think I could convince Jesus to be an atheist if I were to journey back in time. If he lived, that is.

    I dunno about that. If I saw someone cure blindness with a touch or turn 5 loaves and 2 fishes into enough food to feed 5000 people, I`d be swayed. Shame miracles never happen under observable, controlled conditions isn`t it.

  60. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    33070 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 8:37 pm
    Actually, there is one Biblical interpritation which I DO approve of:
    http://tinyurl.com/228gne
  61. Profile photo of dooflotchie
    dooflotchie Female 30-39
    336 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 8:50 pm
    Oh boy...just when you think the Jesus-bots can`t get any dumber they go and outdo themselves yet again! This is a slippery slope you`re on here, guys. Keep it up and you`ll be even more wacked than the Scientologists, and that`s bad...mmm`kay?
  62. Profile photo of flipNhigh
    flipNhigh Male 18-29
    194 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 9:19 pm
    oh god...and in true IAB fashion...here comes the stupid comments
  63. Profile photo of goaliejerry
    goaliejerry Male 30-39
    4017 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 9:37 pm
    Education breeds liberals - it is a well documented fact. Not universally true, but its well known that the more education one gets the more liberal they are likely to be. The more degrees one gets, the more liberal their views. Its isn`t coincidental - more education means more exposure to a broad range of ideas, hence less certainty about the world.

    The hallmark of conservatism is viewing the world in black and white (USA = Perfect - Support our troops!, Iran = Evil), while liberals see the world in shades of grey (USA = sold weapons to Iraq AND Iran while they engaged in a war that killed a million people, Iran = a dangerous theocracy with a well-educated and relatively educated and progressive middle class).

    Hence conservative animosity to intellectualism and Acadamia.

    Its also a fact that living in cities breeds liberals - again, due in part to exposure to a broad range of new ideas. Not many new ideas in homogeneous middle america.

  64. Profile photo of goaliejerry
    goaliejerry Male 30-39
    4017 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 9:45 pm
    Consider a simple example - ""For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.

    Then the righteous will answer him, saying, `Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?`

    And the King will answer them, `Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.`"

    So, he said that if you help someone hungry, naked, sick, or in prison, you did it to him.

    Conservatives oppose welfare, support killing the incarcerated, and oppose providing healthcare to the poor. Simple facts.

  65. Profile photo of Joolin
    Joolin Male 18-29
    1002 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 10:15 pm
    It`s not on The Onion and it`s not April 1st. Well I`m stumped!
  66. Profile photo of audiosncracy
    audiosncracy Male 18-29
    185 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 10:16 pm
    http://www.hulu.com/watch/113806/the-col...

    Skip to the last segment, and it`s Colbert interviewing the maker of this site. I love the way he laughs.

  67. Profile photo of StarDagger
    StarDagger Male 40-49
    1190 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 10:31 pm
    Does anyone take Xianity seriously anymore?

    A middle-Eastern death cult, that regularly engages in ritual cannibalism and tries to undermine elected government!

  68. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15841 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 10:55 pm
    goaliejerry, once again you show yourself to be a complete fool. I know how much you liberals hate facts (which is why I just LOVE to quote them to you), but the fact is, conservatives give much more to charity than liberals. Liberals just like to pat themselves on the back for giving away OTHER people`s money.

    And regarding conservatives` animosity to intellectualism and academia, I believe it`s the other way around. Conservatives aren`t trying to silence academics; it`s the liberal academics who are instituting unconstitutional speech codes and shouting down conservative speakers on college campuses.

    More education just means more liberal indoctrination and exposure to a very narrow range of ideas.

  69. Profile photo of Nidonemo
    Nidonemo Male 18-29
    9308 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 11:03 pm
    Ohhhh Jesus said this, Jesus said that...he`s misquoted all the goddamned time anyway you can`t even be sure who has their stupid "facts" straight anyway, so why don`t you just chuck the whole idea and start being nice to others...

    IT`S A LOT SIMPLER! :D

  70. Profile photo of Mornaf
    Mornaf Male 18-29
    820 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 11:11 pm
    hurray, my dad is a preacher!
    hurray, preacher kids are the worst!
    hurray, I am, after 17 years of this sh-t, a great actor!
    hurray, I am going to a christian college because it is one of the better schools for a teaching diploma..., oh god I`m going to have to act for another like, 4 years.
  71. Profile photo of Swisskid10
    Swisskid10 Male 13-17
    103 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 11:19 pm
    The funny thing is there`s a part in the Bible about raking things away or adding things to the Bible. So by doing this thinking he`s making the Bible better, he`s actually going against one of the laws of the Bible
  72. Profile photo of StarDagger
    StarDagger Male 40-49
    1190 posts
    December 13, 2009 at 11:55 pm
    @Mornaf, you are what you pretend to be.
  73. Profile photo of alk3v
    alk3v Male 18-29
    340 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 12:03 am
    The Gospel according to Nidonemo:

    "Ohhhh Jesus said this, Jesus said that...he`s misquoted all the goddamned time anyway you can`t even be sure who has their stupid "facts" straight anyway, so why don`t you just chuck the whole idea and start being nice to others...

    IT`S A LOT SIMPLER! :D "

    Amen brother...

  74. Profile photo of sbeelz
    sbeelz Male 30-39
    2868 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 12:52 am
    OK, let me get this straight:
    All these years, Fundamentalist Christians have been espousing the idea that the Bible- meaning the translation of the Bible that they read in their church- is the INFALLIBLE WORD OF GOD. Now this group wants to say "Nooooo. It would be if those liberal intellectuals hadn`t twisted it to their sick purposes. But it WILL be the infallible word of God once we create a Wiki where any random douche can put in their two cents. With any luck, this little exercise in abject hypocrisy will destroy the credibility of Fundamentalist Christians completely.

    Scratch that- Fundamentalist Christians don`t have any credibility in the eyes of anyone except Fundamentalist Christians.

    (Though really, these people aren`t Fundamentalist Christians a-tall)

  75. Profile photo of ohthedrama
    ohthedrama Male 30-39
    162 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 12:55 am
    Lesson here: Contemporary Conservatives think they are smarter than 1900 years of Scribes, Scholars, Philosophers, Theologians, etc.
  76. Profile photo of ohthedrama
    ohthedrama Male 30-39
    162 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 12:58 am
    "The funny thing is there`s a part in the Bible about raking things away or adding things to the Bible. So by doing this thinking he`s making the Bible better, he`s actually going against one of the laws of the Bible"

    Another funny thing here is that this passage was probably added during the Council of Nicene (I could be mistaken about which Council) where the decision was made on what to inclusively include. Irony here is was made by the Church yet I don`t think even the Protestants got rid of it.

  77. Profile photo of goaliejerry
    goaliejerry Male 30-39
    4017 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 1:41 am
    Your right Old Olie - the large mass of acadamia are indoctinated sheep with no free will - all the millions of them, not a free thinker in the bunch. And only poor little oppressed conservatives know the "truth" about the system. If only students were able to have brains that functioned and could make up their own minds. Alas, once they arive at the university, they suddenly lose the ability for free thought, lose the ability to form their own opinions, and suddenly - the lot of them - become robots.

    Of course, none of them THINK this is happening, because that is the beauty of "liberal indoctrination" - it is such a powerful force that it happens in plain site without anyone realizing it - anyone except conservatives like you who know the "truth."

    ONE - I didn`t say everyone gets more liberal with education, just MOST. TWO - its a fact that cities are more liberal. THREE - its a fact that professors are more liberal.

  78. Profile photo of goaliejerry
    goaliejerry Male 30-39
    4017 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 1:55 am
    I already knew that conservatives give more to charity, but that isn`t surprising because "giving to charity" encompasses giving to one`s church - and conservatives are more religious. I fully acknowledge that giving to charity is good - but when that "charity" is the one you attend every week to pray, and its primary expenditure is running a religious school to further its own religion, and the primary beneficiary of the "charity" are the people who attend the church - thats NOT exactly the same notion as running a leper colony.
    Of course, there are many churches that actually help the poor.

    Then there are OTHER churches that own and operate multi-million dollar sports complexes for people who "give to charity" - tax free! Charity starts at home I guess...

    Its also a FACT that people with higher education levels attend religious services less frequently.

    Hmmm, more education = more liberalism = less religiosity = LIBERAL CONSPIRACY!!

  79. Profile photo of goaliejerry
    goaliejerry Male 30-39
    4017 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 2:20 am
    Final point - The correlation between education and less religious belief may be a result of the simple fact that people with higher IQs believe in God less, and people with higher IQs are more likely to succeed in higher education. So it’s not the earning of the degree that makes someone less religious, it’s just that more intelligent people tend to earn more degrees.

    Yes, I`m saying it, and science backs me up - THE DUMBER YOU ARE, THE MORE LIKELY YOU ARE TO BELIEVE IN GOD. But everyone knows science, statistics, and logic have a "liberal" bias.

  80. Profile photo of Dogboy76
    Dogboy76 Male 30-39
    156 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 4:28 am
    If you don`t like the message, worship something else. Or prepare to burn in hell for not sticking to it.
  81. Profile photo of woowoos
    woowoos Male 18-29
    23 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 5:26 am
    why are people still worried about the bible? i thought we proved that was fake a long time ago.
  82. Profile photo of green_batman
    green_batman Female 18-29
    728 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 6:00 am
    Idiots. They`re trying to twist it to suit their own ends when it should be inspiring them to help their fellow man.
  83. Profile photo of simbha
    simbha Male 30-39
    412 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 6:04 am
    I found this on the interwebs once. Seems appropriate to add it here:

    Christianity is the belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree and thus doomed humanity to a life of servitude to the Deity who created and also doomed the talking snake and tree.

  84. Profile photo of waffle247
    waffle247 Male 18-29
    377 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 6:17 am
    It`s well documented that the bible went through a similar process under Emperor Constantine of the Roman Empire. Even if any of the bible was ever true it`s been through a few thousand years of human interference already, so what`s another round of changes going to achieve? It was bullpoo, it is bullpoo, it will be bullpoo.
  85. Profile photo of Baalthazaq
    Baalthazaq Male 18-29
    4548 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 6:25 am
    Simbha:
    Thank you for your Dogma. Anything else you`d like to copy/paste that we`ve all seen time and time again, or should I just repost Pascal`s Wager in every thread from now on followed by a "lol" and pretend I`m clever?

    Contributing rarely involves CTRL and C.

  86. Profile photo of waffle247
    waffle247 Male 18-29
    377 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 6:29 am
    Baalthazaq - awww did simbha hit a nerve? awww.
  87. Profile photo of Baalthazaq
    Baalthazaq Male 18-29
    4548 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 6:33 am
    Goaliejerry: Equally EQ is far lower in the Atheistic, and low EQ usually denotes a higher bias towards IQ.

    Therefore, as you (with your high IQ) have already probably understood better than I ever could, it could easily be atheist`s failing to connect properly on a human level that leads them to be more likely to:

    1) Rebel against social norms, despite the validity.
    2) Not be able to "connect with God" on a personal level.

    Yes I`m saying it, and science backs me up.

    (Additionally, genius:
    Correlation != causation.
    Or to hell with it, correlation == causation if you really want.
    I don`t give a poo.
    Basically, my statements above have equal validity to yours. If you want to pick either of the above two statements, all that changes is whether they are both valid, or both not.)

  88. Profile photo of Baalthazaq
    Baalthazaq Male 18-29
    4548 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 6:37 am
    Waffle:
    I`m not Christian. So no.
    I don`t believe Jesus resurrected. I don`t believe in any of the Eucharist. Etc.

    Makes me wonder why you responded to me...

    Awwww, did I hit a nerve? Did the wittle waffle get aww upshet. Awwwww. Diddums.

    Did wittle waffle get all pwesumptive and asshume shilly wittle fwings becaushe he`s a prejudished wittle dratwit who can`t understand someone disagreeing wif him wifout being "the enemy"? Awwww.

    Poor wittle small minded waffle.

  89. Profile photo of waffle247
    waffle247 Male 18-29
    377 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 6:37 am
    Baalthazaq - your point about rebelling against social norms: if this is true then that means atheists think outside the normal parameters, so they provide new ideas, thus providing progress. Your point about connecting with God makes no sense to anyone who doesn`t believe in God, not believing in something generally means you don`t try to connect with it.
  90. Profile photo of waffle247
    waffle247 Male 18-29
    377 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 6:39 am
    Baalthazaq - nah it wasn`t a religious nerve I was talking about, I assumed you didn`t like him using other peoples work so were pissed off about his plagiarism. Did you wake up on the wrong side of bed today or are you always this much of an ass?
  91. Profile photo of Baalthazaq
    Baalthazaq Male 18-29
    4548 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 6:48 am
    However, I`m in agreement with Goaliejerry on one point:
    "So, he said that if you help someone hungry, naked, sick, or in prison, you did it to him.

    Conservatives oppose welfare, support killing the incarcerated, and oppose providing healthcare to the poor. Simple facts."

    All of the most notorious religious groups are those that break their own rules to impose their own rules.

    How many of these "Islamic Rules of War" are followed by Al Qaeda:
    Do not practice treachery or mutilation.
    Do not kill a young child, an old man, or a woman. Do not uproot or burn palms or cut down fruitful trees.
    Do not kill their livestock.
    Do not attack civilians.
    Openly declare war, do not use surprise attacks.
    Do not set fire to buildings.
    Do not use fire in warfare.

    Link

  92. Profile photo of Baalthazaq
    Baalthazaq Male 18-29
    4548 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 6:54 am
    Ah waffle, so much to learn.

    "Outside of social norms" can be that, but in the case of many a copy and paster, like *cough* someone who will remain unmentioned, it`s not usually "new" ideas. It`s like the million odd identical goths, all rebelling in uniform.

    You are all rebelling identically, with the zombie Jesus quote popping up at least every other thread, when it isn`t the IPU and the flying spaghetti monster, the POE, or some other Epicurean quote.

    It is uniform canned rebellion. It`s the pooty kind. It is not progress.

    (I also, in my original post, stated: Despite the level of validity. Implying everything I just had to repeat to compensate for your illiteracy.)

  93. Profile photo of waffle247
    waffle247 Male 18-29
    377 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 6:58 am
    Baalthazaq - I`ve never used the zombie quote before, so your attack on me is pretty poorly aimed. You`d think with your choice of religion you`d be above that kind of thinking, or shall I just act in kind and call you a terrorist?

    With reference to "social norms" goths are a social normality of there own, they gather together forming a social group; this in itself is normal human behaviour.

    Now to your initial comment "ah so much to learn" why so arrogant? I shall refer to my previous question and assume that you are an ass.

  94. Profile photo of Baalthazaq
    Baalthazaq Male 18-29
    4548 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 7:00 am
    Sorry, coming back to the post about rules of war:
    Al Qaeda teaches that "The rules of war do not apply in wartime".

    That is their official position. Personally, I don`t call them "religious" unless they`re, you know, following the rules laid down by their religion.

  95. Profile photo of Baalthazaq
    Baalthazaq Male 18-29
    4548 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 7:12 am
    Waffle,
    "I never mentioned Zombie Jesus"
    If you cheer from the sidelines for your quote bearing friend, I will lump you two together when criticizing the validity of the statement.

    If I see Pascal`s Wager come up from a theist. I shoot it down. It`s stupid and makes us look bad. It`s repetitive. It has been dealt with.

    I do not ignore it, and mock the people shooting it down. If I did it seems an awful lot (for those of us with the EQ to understand how basic human behavior works), like you should be held equally accountable.

    As for the terrorism comment (nice to see you actually checked my profile now instead of running entirely on preconceptions), you`ll notice my very next post was in criticism of terrorists. I didn`t side with them simply because of how they title their worldview.

    You, however, did. (Well done Waffle bin Laden)

  96. Profile photo of Thorna_Kate
    Thorna_Kate Female 18-29
    237 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 7:28 am
    Jeez, all the goths I know never claim to be individuals on the basis of dress. Individuality comes down to personality... Not dress. I`m a goth because I like it, we have our own "rules" and it isn`t new or shocking, it isn`t a rebellion. Stop pairing goth with teen angst.

    Back on subject... They are editing for their own good and not for the truth of the text. Such people are known as morons.

  97. Profile photo of waffle247
    waffle247 Male 18-29
    377 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 7:42 am
    Baalthazaq - 1) I don`t know simbha, so stop trying to lump us together with this "quote bearing friend" poo.

    2) I didn`t call you a terrorist, I compared your arbitrary grouping of myself and smbha with me hypothetically calling you a terrorist because of your religious preference.

    3) "Waffle Bin Laden"? I`ll respond in kind by calling you Baalthazaq Stalin. It`s about as fecking accurate you dumbass.

  98. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10441 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 8:53 am
    almightybob1, 5cats> Let me revise my statement.

    Not only could I convince Jesus to be an atheist, I would, and it would be easy. Furthermore, I could convince any person or group of people one cares to name living at that time of any philosophy.

    Your comments reveal your bias.

    lol @ Baalthazaq... I bet that out of his 2600 posts, I could count on one hand the number of them that make sense, if I bothered to read them all that is.

  99. Profile photo of DigitalPagan
    DigitalPagan Male 30-39
    49 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 9:25 am
    Please Jesus, Save me from your followers.
  100. Profile photo of 5Cats
    5Cats Male 50-59
    33070 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 9:38 am
    Sorry LazyMe, I think you`d lose that debate.
    Jesus would kill you dead, then raise you to life the next day.
    Or He`d walk to the middle of the river and say "Come here and say that, LazyMe"
    Or He`d hand out 1000s of candies from a single Pez dispenser. It`s hard to beat miracles happening right before your eyes, eh?
    Lolz! I`m sure actual Christians know even more of the miracles than I do.
    From MacLean & MacLean:
    "And so it came to pass that Jesus and the desciples were playing poker. And the others dropped out, leaving only Jesus and Peter playing. And Jesus said "I`ll call your 20 dracmas, Peter, what have you got?" And Peter said "Four Aces! Count `em Jesus! And non of your God-Dammed miracles!"
    http://tinyurl.com/yao7xtb
  101. Profile photo of green_btrfly
    green_btrfly Female 18-29
    751 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 9:47 am
    did anyone check out the lolcatz bible? I find it interesting.... makes me want to read the bible!
  102. Profile photo of thor82
    thor82 Male 18-29
    56 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 9:59 am
    So convince me to be an atheist LazyMe484
  103. Profile photo of MattPrince
    MattPrince Male 40-49
    2220 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 10:10 am
    "Brian: No, no. Please, please please listen. I`ve got one or two things to say.
    The Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them!
    Brian: Look, you`ve got it all wrong. You don`t need to follow me. You don`t need to follow anybody! You`ve got to think for yourselves! You`re all individuals!
    The Crowd: Yes! We`re all individuals!
    Brian: You`re all different!
    The Crowd: Yes! We`re all different!
    Man in crowd: I`m not...
    Man in crowd: Shhh!
    Brian: You`ve all got to work it out for yourselves.
    The Crowd: Yes! We`ve got to work it out for ourselves!
    Brian: Exactly!
    The Crowd: Tell us more!
    Brian: No! That`s the point! Don`t let anyone tell you what to do! Otherwise - Ow! Ow!"

    Don`t mess with my CTRL C!

  104. Profile photo of Boadicea
    Boadicea Female 18-29
    1677 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 11:09 am
    OMG guys! thor82 is Jesus!

    Hey Jesus, settle the debate for us eh.

  105. Profile photo of beccajdavis
    beccajdavis Female 18-29
    160 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 11:51 am
    SuperSmash:
    Yes, we can revise the constitution, because that is adaptable to a growing civilization. Christianity was founded thousands of years ago on the premise that it was the history of how human kind was created. The bible is a recollection of history, you can`t change history.
  106. Profile photo of Fatninja01
    Fatninja01 Male 30-39
    25420 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 12:05 pm
    Meh!
  107. Profile photo of kairobert
    kairobert Male 18-29
    1623 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 12:38 pm
    Jesus was a liberal socialist. Now let`s hear the cries of the narrow minded.
  108. Profile photo of npdarren
    npdarren Male 18-29
    602 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 1:23 pm
    Conservative, liberal, moderate...just words that generalize politics. Shouldn`t have anything to do with religion.
  109. Profile photo of mervviscious
    mervviscious Male 40-49
    1793 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 1:48 pm
    I agree totaly almightybob1
  110. Profile photo of odc
    odc Female 18-29
    318 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 6:27 pm
    That is so blasphemy.
  111. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15841 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 8:51 pm
    kairobert "Jesus was a liberal socialist."

    Can you cite a single Bible verse in which Jesus said that the GOVERNMENT should provide for the needs of one person and the expense of another? Didn`t think so.

  112. Profile photo of itsallfake
    itsallfake Male 30-39
    474 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 8:54 pm
    The result of this will be: "Conservative" politicians who quote bible scripture will start quoting this bible. The poor stupid masses of people who call themselves christians who don`t actually READ the bible will swallow every spoon of BS that politician has to say... This is a ruse for the "conservatives" (you know, the ones who broke and tore the constitution) to try and wrench back government control...

    I`m a TRUE conservative and these people are most certainly NOT trying to conserve the constitution OR the founding principals of our government.

  113. Profile photo of itsallfake
    itsallfake Male 30-39
    474 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 8:55 pm
    Oldollie: You are confused with Communism...
  114. Profile photo of BADOLDOG
    BADOLDOG Female 40-49
    108 posts
    December 14, 2009 at 9:01 pm
    wow ya just mention religion and the barbs start flying sheesh must be somrthing to it when we get so passionate, defensive and offensive. Funny how those FOR Christ are just as vehement as those against Him
  115. Profile photo of almightybob1
    almightybob1 Male 18-29
    4290 posts
    December 15, 2009 at 3:22 am
    almightybob1, 5cats> Let me revise my statement.

    Not only could I convince Jesus to be an atheist, I would, and it would be easy. Furthermore, I could convince any person or group of people one cares to name living at that time of any philosophy.

    Your comments reveal your bias.

    Lolwut? I`m an atheist.

  116. Profile photo of thor82
    thor82 Male 18-29
    56 posts
    December 15, 2009 at 6:05 am
    Ha, yeah ok Broadicea
  117. Profile photo of Thorna_Kate
    Thorna_Kate Female 18-29
    237 posts
    December 15, 2009 at 7:11 am
    No-one could convince Jesus to be an atheist. For one you don`t speak his language... And even if you did you`d speak the modern version, not his ye olde lingo.

    The bible isn`t fact. Jeez. It is just one perception of how things came to be. One. Doesn`t make it right.

  118. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15841 posts
    December 15, 2009 at 10:34 am
    "Oldollie: You are confused with Communism..."

    No, I`m not.

  119. Profile photo of npdarren
    npdarren Male 18-29
    602 posts
    December 15, 2009 at 3:33 pm
    "No, I`m not."

    Yes you are.

  120. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15841 posts
    December 15, 2009 at 9:12 pm
    Welfare, food stamps, Medicaid, and subsidized housing are all examples of the government providing for the needs of one person (the recipient) at the expense of another (the taxpayer). So, are those programs liberal, socialist, or communist? Actually, it doesn`t really matter. The difference between those philosophies is about the same as the difference between vanilla, old-fashioned vanilla, and French vanilla. They`re all systems under which a bunch of arrogant leftists think they`re smarter than everybody and, therefore, think they`re better qualified to run our lives than we are.

    And since no one has answered my original question, I win the point.

  121. Profile photo of waffle247
    waffle247 Male 18-29
    377 posts
    December 16, 2009 at 3:51 am
    OldOllie - nah no one answered you because you`re a stupid right wing neo-nazi. :P
  122. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15841 posts
    December 16, 2009 at 10:12 am
    When you call your opponent a Nazi without saying anything of substance to refute his argument, you have just declared intellectual bankruptcy.

    waffle247 = FAIL

  123. Profile photo of waffle247
    waffle247 Male 18-29
    377 posts
    December 17, 2009 at 2:44 am
    OldOllie - so if I pay my taxes (which I do) according to your argument there should be no safety net for me if I become unemployed. With no safety net, i.e government benefit, if I were to become unemployed for a long period of time then I would have to turn to crime to get by. Your argument assumes constant stability in an unstable world. OldOllie = rebulican neo-nazi. :P
  124. Profile photo of Linc420
    Linc420 Male 18-29
    4 posts
    December 17, 2009 at 2:38 pm
    YEAH!!! just cut out all that liberal crap like just about everything except Exodus 21:17

    "He that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death."

    so according to the holy bible teenagers should be stoned to death (see Deuteronomy 21:18-21) for getting drunk, eating to much and/or being disrespectful to parents...
    gotta love the holy bible, so full of forgiveness and crap :D

  125. Profile photo of OldOllie
    OldOllie Male 60-69
    15841 posts
    December 17, 2009 at 10:48 pm
    waffle, I don`t know who or what you are arguing against, but you didn`t come close to anything I said.

    I have no doubt that you worry about becoming unemployed. You sound like a worthless slacker who thinks if you make it through the day without getting fired, you`ve done your job. You may call it a "safety net," but I`m sure you use it as a hammock whenever you can. And the solution to unemployment is 1) save some money to get you by when you`re between jobs, and 2) go out and get another damned job...lazy bastard.

    And take your Nazi slander and shove it up your bleeding @$$!

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