Top 10 `Chick Drinks` That’ll Get You Laid

Submitted by: onlytati 8 years ago in
http://www.atom.com/blog/2009/09/29/top-10-chick-drinks-thatll-get-you-laid/?brand=iambored

Wanna get lucky? Put down the cheap beer and drink one of these girly drinks. It works, we"ve road-tested "em all.
There are 53 comments:
Female 111
It`s such a turnoff when guys are so defensive over stuff that doesn`t even matter. Booze is booze! I could care less what you drink and what it looks like! As long as we both are enjoying it and having fun.
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Male 9,305
I agree that cosmo glass looked awesome, I love surreal crap like that.

I find adding a gender role to a damned drink is a bit primitive. Cut the crap and enjoy your booze already. Who cares what the drink looks like as long as you end up on the bathroom floor with a migraine right?

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Female 89
The counter points are the best!
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Male 2,121
Yeah, get you laid by a guy...

And I started reading but gave up when the first one wasn`t even slightly funny.

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Female 1,427
"Boone`s Farm isn`t a chick drink. It`s a hobo taking chugs behing the dumpster drink. It`s in the same category as Mad Dog 20/20."

Damn straight. Boone`s Farm is in the same category as Mickey`s and MD 20/20: This is NOT a chick drink, or a MAN drink. It`s a "I have $5 and I don`t want to remember the night" drink.

All 3 are downright disgusting by any standards and the only parties you`ll find them at are with people who only pitched in $20 total for booze and food.

And can someone actually explain what makes alcoholic sprite a bad thing? I like my drinks being palatable: Jack and coke, rum, scotch on the rocks, vodka and Red Bull, Smirnoff Ice, etc.

What I don`t like is my drinks tasting like watered-down horse piss. Which is why I won`t drink beer.

Also, explain to me how having a beer gut makes you attractive.

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Female 3,828
lol "roostertail" awesome filter fail.

btw, if i saw a guy drinking a cosmo, i prolly wouldnt look at him twice. pink drinks are best served at home if its your guilty pleasure. most of these are ok, though. i generally go for guys drinking beer, though. lmao

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Male 9,305
cagel, trust me, you`re not the only one tired of the entertainment industry constantly turning to stereotypes for lists and cheap laughs. =/
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Male 1,108
Oh come on filter!! That`s just not right. You can say piss and bugger but not name a drink?!?
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Male 1,108
I think Zerocyde protests too much. You drink your drink if you like it. I will say this though. The only time I have ever been asked if I was gay, was in a roostertail bar drinking roostertails. I have been correctly identified as a straight man, by a gay man, whilst in a gay bar, drinking beer out of a pint glass. Go figure. The wedding ring kind of gives it away too I know, but I like to think he didn`t spot it.
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Female 275
I do not understand how a guy drinking these will make a woman want to sleep with him.

This does not make sense to me on any level; not even the whole gender-binary-stereotype level.

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Male 3,755
"How the hell is Smirnoff Ice number 2?? That`s pretty standard alcohol for absolutely any girl slag/ugly/<16 or otherwise who happens to be drinking. It`s also perfectly acceptable for a man to have one when required. Very random entry."

No, TopperHey, Smirnoff Ice belongs on the list. It`s alcoh-pop. I like my alcohol to taste like alcohol, not Sprite.

Zerocyde, I can`t figure out if you were quoting someone or saying those things yourself. My bad.

P.S. Sorry for the triple post.

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Male 3,755
Plus, Zerocyde, you need to work on your prejudices against straight men. It`s really unseemly.
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Male 3,755
Well, Zerocyde, you could just drink plain lemonade. It`s pretty good, too.
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Male 3,255
"Smirnoff Ice/Mikes/Boones etc. – These pansy drinks say this:..."

Or they say "getting drunk is for ignorant, low-brow, tools but mikes hard lemonades taste drating awesome and since I`m not a woman or a high school drop-out I only drink things for their taste, so I`m gonna drink it."

And for any of you tough guys that are reading this and are about to brush your mullet off of your shoulder, punch your girlfriend off of your lap, and reply with "HEY FAGGOT BEER = TEH HOTNESS DOG! drat YOU FOR CALLIN ME GAY!1" just shut up, the article talked poo to me so I talked poo back. :P

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Male 3,755
Boone`s Farm isn`t a chick drink. It`s a hobo taking chugs behing the dumpster drink. It`s in the same category as Mad Dog 20/20.
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Male 1,108
Chick drinks that will get you laid....by men who like men.
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Male 5,620
atom still = fail
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Female 5,222
the glass for the cosmo looked cool :O lol
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Male 1,002
Ok.. I don`t really know why, but I decided to keep reading. I guess it`s the same thing that makes people like watching train wrecks. Anyway, is it just me, or did the Long Island Iced Tea paragraph just announce to the world that the writer is a rapist?

As for the rest of these, I think the writer is confusing "wants to jump your bones" with "feels comfortable around you because you`re obviously gay".

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Male 1,002
You know what Atom, I gave you a chance. I managed to look past the fact that you were Atom. I managed to look past the fact that you are openly suggesting that people use Michelob Ultra for something other than target practice. I kept reading through all that, but when you referred to Miller Lite and Natty Lite as being "awesome", I had to draw the line. Not only are they not awesome (in the case of those beverages, the phrase "not awesome" is objective, not subjective) but they are barely even beer! That sh.t is basically malt liquor fortified with grain alcohol. I don`t even think frat boys would say it`s awesome - they just drink it because it`ll get them and the skeezy girl they`re eying drunk.
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Male 5,314
and of course, it`s atom.
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Male 90
Norts, my friend, I couldn`t have put it better myself
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Female 1,427
Plus, with the exception of the occasional smirnoff ice and the long island iced tea, there is not a single drink on there that me or any of the chicks I know will drink.

Why? Because if you`re going to get LAID, you don`t want to pass out halfway through it.

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Female 1,006
Ahh, Atom. They have no idea about anything.

Men, if I saw you drinking any of these drinks, I would just assume you were gay and/or poor.

Or is this supposed to be drinks that will get girls laid? I didn`t really read the article, just skimmed for the drinks.

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Male 782
I`m with Norts on this one.
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Male 360
Ugh I see no one took my suggestion of warning about ATOM seriously
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Male 44
lol norts did what pretty much everyone does when its atom.
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Female 36
Im with Norts on this.
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Male 486
*clicks link*
*sees Atom*
*closes link*
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Male 2,148
This was poorly written. Plus, if the list says they get you laid, why would the #1 drink tell the ladies that you suck in bed? I`m sure sucking in bed doesn`t help you get laid.
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Female 15,763
I think I`ll stick with finding people who I don`t need alcohol to enjoy.

...Though I have to admit, drunk people ARE hilarious.

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Male 472
*these
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Male 472
Hey thinks drinks actually works. I have a friend who drinks these and brings backs guys home all the time. It works very well for him
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Male 4,745
When I was on the road, I lived in bars. literally, not figuratively. Trust me when I say, the really drunk girls are the ones that pee themselves, puke and passout. You want the ones that are much closer to sober. A guy that takes advantage of a drunk girl, is no F`ing good anyway.
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Male 240
I`ll stick to slugging budwiser cans... kthx
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Male 431
wheres the everclear?
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Female 414
mojitos ftw!
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Female 2,927
i would think if a guy was drinking champagne or a red wine it would say he has some sophistication. also brandy. hurricanes are okay ONLY if your in new orleans. everybody drinks them there. its the official drink.
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Female 1,593
And I am definitely with Geogypsy. Drink man drinks.

Oh, and beer is not a man drink, guys.

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Female 1,593
Um...no. If you`re standing there by yourself sipping an Apple-tini, that tells us one thing: YOU`RE GAY. Not that there`s anything wrong with being gay. We love gay men. They are our best friends.

Anyway...just be yourself, and you`ll get laid. That is, if you`re not an overbearing, clingy, chauvinist drattard.

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Female 965
Well, we all know which one JD would choose.
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Male 2,552
>snakewarrior
Thanks! I didn`t see it, yup that was funneh. He has got a point. :)
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Male 2,552
>Asakura
Easy: go to a bar (even if you are not drinking), or any other place where people, guys in particular, gather. Then just mingle and indicate what you want. He

Heck, I`m a guy! I don`t exactly know, but it can`t be much more than that, surely! I`m just guessing that a girl must have an easier time getting laid.

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Male 3,425
Wow, a half-decent atom link.
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Male 1,381
HELLS yeah, the appletini is #1!! Zach Braff ftw.

oh wait, this was meant to be for women...oops.

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Male 2,548
Bahaha!_ We can`t type c*o*c*k?
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Male 2,548
Ewww to everything!(Especially the Shmirnoff coolers)

Liquor is meant to be drunk straight. Beer is meant to be heavy and strong. Pansy ass roostertails are a total turn-off!

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Male 1,929
How the hell is Smirnoff Ice number 2?? That`s pretty standard alcohol for absolutely any girl slag/ugly/<16 or otherwise who happens to be drinking. It`s also perfectly acceptable for a man to have one when required. Very random entry.
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Male 2
I think the list is retarded but i find that country song at the very bottom on the list quite funny
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Male 13,630
Dayum, Im shamed, thought it said top 10 chicks that get you laid......
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Male 10,440
I find this boring. I`m changing the channel.
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Female 236
i don`t drink, so how do i get laid?
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Female 395
Link: Top 10 `Chick Drinks` That’ll Get You Laid [Rate Link] - Wanna get lucky? Put down the cheap beer and drink one of these girly drinks. It works, we`ve road-tested `em all.
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