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Rating: 4.1
Category: Weird
Date: 09/09/09 09:02 AM

62 Responses to Fappiest Passage in the Bible [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18854 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 9:18 am
    Link: Fappiest Passage in the Bible - Well, if it says so in the Bible, it must be OK.
  2. Profile photo of sixclaws13
    sixclaws13 Male 18-29
    2314 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 9:24 am
    Solid advice.
  3. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10441 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 9:24 am
    Seems a little contradictory to what all those priests will tell you. But then again... it is from the bible.
  4. Profile photo of dope_boy_420
    dope_boy_420 Male 13-17
    480 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 9:24 am
    Lol. ALL RIGHT!
  5. Profile photo of ferdyfred
    ferdyfred Male 40-49
    13631 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 9:25 am
    I spy with my little eye, fancy is lighting another flame war......
  6. Profile photo of pmarren
    pmarren Male 40-49
    4575 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 9:26 am
    I`ll remember that next time I`m hunting feral cats with my 9-iron.
  7. Profile photo of lukas1051
    lukas1051 Male 18-29
    3426 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 9:39 am
    Hahaha, I`m not religious, so I don`t even need an excuse.
  8. Profile photo of kribbe
    kribbe Male 18-29
    2006 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 9:45 am
    i don`t give a f*ck if its in the bible, i do it anyway
  9. Profile photo of verinon
    verinon Male 18-29
    335 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 9:46 am
    Even if it means I`m murdering someone? Well okay then!
  10. Profile photo of almightybob1
    almightybob1 Male 18-29
    4290 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 10:39 am
    Can I get an amen?
  11. Profile photo of Isobel
    Isobel Female 18-29
    245 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 10:46 am
    Amen! :D
  12. Profile photo of nomorecheese
    nomorecheese Male 13-17
    463 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 11:09 am
    I actually found that verse in the New King James version. Word for word. The surrouning text describes work and tasks to do for others. I never thought it could mean something much less useful (or more depending on who you are) until now.
  13. Profile photo of FecesinVCR
    FecesinVCR Male 18-29
    241 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 11:24 am
    I should punch my wife with all my might? Thanks JC!
  14. Profile photo of WHOISIT12345
    WHOISIT12345 Male 18-29
    4394 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 11:27 am
    Amen!
  15. Profile photo of BABY_BEAR
    BABY_BEAR Female 18-29
    1395 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 11:42 am
    It`s good to know the Lord blesses my vigorous masturbation, cheers JC ;)
  16. Profile photo of imnaked
    imnaked Male 18-29
    109 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 11:43 am
    my cat didnt like the rough petting :( the bible has failed me once again
  17. Profile photo of Mikeado
    Mikeado Male 18-29
    2159 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 11:55 am
    What if I`m drunk and my hand finds bewbs?
  18. Profile photo of demonangel00
    demonangel00 Male 18-29
    31 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 12:02 pm
    see thats why i never understood the "no masterbation" rule. god was a guy and no man would make a rule to flogging his dolphin (or hitting his wife, however you wanna read this)
  19. Profile photo of pmarren
    pmarren Male 40-49
    4575 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 12:21 pm
    demonangel00, you are wrong my friend, I`m pretty sure that God is a squirrel.
  20. Profile photo of Nidonemo
    Nidonemo Male 18-29
    9308 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 12:21 pm
    Hmm okay.

    I`m going to go stab someone, punch someone, then rip someone`s face off, and then masturbate furiously.

    Bible told me to. :3

  21. Profile photo of MonzaBird
    MonzaBird Female 18-29
    218 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 12:22 pm
    Wow! One thing God and I actally agree on xD
  22. Profile photo of Postovoy
    Postovoy Male 13-17
    462 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 12:25 pm
    Dammit, I-A-B! I was holding someones hand and tore her arm off. This is why i quit religion.
  23. Profile photo of deathxtra
    deathxtra Male 13-17
    2791 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 12:52 pm
    demonangel00, pmarren, you are both wrong

    this is God

  24. Profile photo of speedy_3909
    speedy_3909 Male 13-17
    360 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 1:07 pm
    Pmarren yes my avatar is God
  25. Profile photo of Ms_Thang
    Ms_Thang Female 18-29
    244 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 1:18 pm
    I`m not nearly as sinful as the Christians said I was then! Awesome!
  26. Profile photo of Morrigann
    Morrigann Male 18-29
    480 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 1:29 pm
    Revelations 22:20
    He who testifieth these things saith, Yea: I come quickly. Amen: come, Lord Jesus.
  27. Profile photo of Qtee_mo
    Qtee_mo Female 18-29
    414 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 1:31 pm
    Ha yes...yes I shall.
  28. Profile photo of ferdyfred
    ferdyfred Male 40-49
    13631 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 1:32 pm
    Amen to squirrels
  29. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15774 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 1:46 pm
    FAP AWAY, GOOD SIR!
  30. Profile photo of WeenieDog
    WeenieDog Male 13-17
    180 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 2:01 pm
    Thou shalt not spill seed into thy sock, and then cram it in the bottom of the hamper like it has been there for a while.
  31. Profile photo of ferdyfred
    ferdyfred Male 40-49
    13631 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 2:29 pm
    Thou shalt not be spurting thy smitness all over thy velvet curtains, for if thy did thy Ma` would be unhappy, and thy Ma would insist thee would wash said smited curtains, and thee would be the colour of red...
  32. Profile photo of viperjason
    viperjason Male 18-29
    68 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 2:44 pm
    Actually it says:
    Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.

  33. Profile photo of Middy93
    Middy93 Female 30-39
    63 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 3:10 pm
    ha ha ha ha!!
  34. Profile photo of Frogtango
    Frogtango Male 13-17
    1720 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 3:29 pm
    MIGHTY FAP!!!!
  35. Profile photo of Jasonbobdude
    Jasonbobdude Male 18-29
    1598 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 3:32 pm
    It probably wouldn`t look so wrong in real life, but once it`s on the Internet, especially this site...
  36. Profile photo of Paul1582
    Paul1582 Male 13-17
    670 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 3:53 pm
    "Actually it says:
    Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest."

    Because small childs can understand this.

  37. Profile photo of Somnum
    Somnum Male 18-29
    26 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 4:14 pm
    Okay, so I know 1000 thirteenyearolds are gonna flame me now, but can one of you tell me what "fap" means exactly?
  38. Profile photo of lllBorislll
    lllBorislll Male 18-29
    443 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 4:23 pm
    Somnum : Fap=masterbate
  39. Profile photo of cannibal151
    cannibal151 Male 18-29
    1550 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 4:27 pm
    Amen
  40. Profile photo of Somnum
    Somnum Male 18-29
    26 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 4:37 pm
    Thanks :)
  41. Profile photo of lerie
    lerie Female 18-29
    1265 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 5:02 pm
    Hehe
  42. Profile photo of yudontn0me
    yudontn0me Male 18-29
    845 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 5:02 pm
    that sounds like an excerpt from the book of "palms" haha ill be here all week.
  43. Profile photo of VictoriaIAB
    VictoriaIAB Female 13-17
    88 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 5:24 pm
    XD XD XD *choke* DX DX DX
  44. Profile photo of xxPinkxx
    xxPinkxx Female 18-29
    3829 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 5:43 pm
    AMEN.
  45. Profile photo of HUFFER
    HUFFER Male 30-39
    368 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 5:55 pm
    What if you`re operating on a patient with a brain tumor?
  46. Profile photo of SmilinSam
    SmilinSam Female 18-29
    3599 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 6:04 pm
    there`s all sorts of dirty stuff in the bible.
  47. Profile photo of seabass101dg
    seabass101dg Male 18-29
    478 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 6:32 pm
    fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
  48. Profile photo of SuperSmash
    SuperSmash Male 18-29
    3758 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 7:33 pm
    You guys are trying too hard.
  49. Profile photo of draquoir
    draquoir Male 18-29
    1051 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 8:37 pm
    Yea and my Catholic School said spanking the monkey was a sin. Drating illiterate roosters.
  50. Profile photo of keith2
    keith2 Male 30-39
    2588 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 9:09 pm
    fappiest lmao
  51. Profile photo of Xyryn
    Xyryn Female 18-29
    98 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 9:40 pm
    Who the hell discovered the word to describe that sound?!? You bastard, but its funny as hell!!!
  52. Profile photo of Maelstrom_x
    Maelstrom_x Male 18-29
    1883 posts
    September 9, 2009 at 10:40 pm
    Fap with all might, end up in emergency room.
  53. Profile photo of Aerfy
    Aerfy Male 18-29
    232 posts
    September 10, 2009 at 12:20 am
    Mmmm... chaffing...
  54. Profile photo of aliceuh
    aliceuh Female 13-17
    37 posts
    September 10, 2009 at 12:33 am
    hahaha... my friend sent me something they had to read at a church thing that i missed.. idr what it said but it was something about rearing your child.... and she was like "oh god. o.o" hahah.
  55. Profile photo of eskimo9
    eskimo9 Male 18-29
    703 posts
    September 10, 2009 at 4:27 am
    And God said unto Adam, love thy wife, and be with her always. But when thy wife doth bleed, take at thee with thy hand and with spirit, for then shalt thou know how to beat the serpent.
  56. Profile photo of Mornaf
    Mornaf Male 18-29
    820 posts
    September 10, 2009 at 4:49 am
    What if you`re operating on a patient with a brain tumor?

    Operate with a chainsaw..., because scalpels are for wimps, and nobody really needs that half of their brain anyway.

  57. Profile photo of panth753
    panth753 Female 18-29
    9240 posts
    September 10, 2009 at 5:58 pm
    oh wow.
  58. Profile photo of Ductapemafia
    Ductapemafia Male 18-29
    78 posts
    September 10, 2009 at 7:05 pm
    Hey thats my motto when I masturba..... oh!
  59. Profile photo of Steven42
    Steven42 Male 18-29
    173 posts
    September 11, 2009 at 1:41 am
    Nice one eskimo9. lol
  60. Profile photo of polkafromny
    polkafromny Female 18-29
    376 posts
    September 11, 2009 at 4:16 pm
    Well I know what I am doing tonight. ^_^
  61. Profile photo of michael24895
    michael24895 Male 13-17
    95 posts
    September 12, 2009 at 1:16 am
    jesus wants me to masturba >.>
  62. Profile photo of yoshi_glover
    yoshi_glover Male 13-17
    76 posts
    September 12, 2009 at 3:42 am
    YES!!! i shall =)

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