Fappiest Passage in the Bible [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 8 years ago in Weird

Well, if it says so in the Bible, it must be OK.
There are 62 comments:
Male 76
YES!!! i shall =)
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Male 95
jesus wants me to masturba >.>
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Female 376
Well I know what I am doing tonight. ^_^
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Male 173
Nice one eskimo9. lol
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Male 78
Hey thats my motto when I masturba..... oh!
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Female 9,557
oh wow.
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Male 820
[quote]What if you`re operating on a patient with a brain tumor?[/quote]

Operate with a chainsaw..., because scalpels are for wimps, and nobody really needs that half of their brain anyway.

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Male 703
And God said unto Adam, love thy wife, and be with her always. But when thy wife doth bleed, take at thee with thy hand and with spirit, for then shalt thou know how to beat the serpent.
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Female 37
hahaha... my friend sent me something they had to read at a church thing that i missed.. idr what it said but it was something about rearing your child.... and she was like "oh god. o.o" hahah.
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Male 232
Mmmm... chaffing...
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Male 1,882
Fap with all might, end up in emergency room.
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Female 98
Who the hell discovered the word to describe that sound?!? You bastard, but its funny as hell!!!
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Male 2,591
fappiest lmao
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Male 1,051
Yea and my Catholic School said spanking the monkey was a sin. Drating illiterate roosters.
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Male 3,755
You guys are trying too hard.
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Male 478
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
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Female 3,598
there`s all sorts of dirty stuff in the bible.
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Male 367
What if you`re operating on a patient with a brain tumor?
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Female 3,828
AMEN.
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Female 88
XD XD XD *choke* DX DX DX
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Male 845
that sounds like an excerpt from the book of "palms" haha ill be here all week.
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Female 1,264
Hehe
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Male 26
Thanks :)
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Male 1,550
Amen
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Male 443
Somnum : Fap=masterbate
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Male 26
Okay, so I know 1000 thirteenyearolds are gonna flame me now, but can one of you tell me what "fap" means exactly?
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Male 670
"Actually it says:
Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest."

Because small childs can understand this.

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Male 1,598
It probably wouldn`t look so wrong in real life, but once it`s on the Internet, especially this site...
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Male 1,718
MIGHTY FAP!!!!
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Female 63
ha ha ha ha!!
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Male 68
Actually it says:
Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.

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Male 13,630
Thou shalt not be spurting thy smitness all over thy velvet curtains, for if thy did thy Ma` would be unhappy, and thy Ma would insist thee would wash said smited curtains, and thee would be the colour of red...
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Male 180
Thou shalt not spill seed into thy sock, and then cram it in the bottom of the hamper like it has been there for a while.
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Female 15,763
FAP AWAY, GOOD SIR!
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Male 13,630
Amen to squirrels
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Female 414
Ha yes...yes I shall.
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Male 480
Revelations 22:20
He who testifieth these things saith, Yea: I come quickly. Amen: come, Lord Jesus.
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Female 244
I`m not nearly as sinful as the Christians said I was then! Awesome!
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Male 360
Pmarren yes my avatar is God
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Male 2,788
demonangel00, pmarren, you are both wrong

this is God

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Male 462
Dammit, I-A-B! I was holding someones hand and tore her arm off. This is why i quit religion.
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Female 218
Wow! One thing God and I actally agree on xD
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Male 9,305
Hmm okay.

I`m going to go stab someone, punch someone, then rip someone`s face off, and then masturbate furiously.

Bible told me to. :3

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Male 4,593
demonangel00, you are wrong my friend, I`m pretty sure that God is a squirrel.
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Male 31
see thats why i never understood the "no masterbation" rule. god was a guy and no man would make a rule to flogging his dolphin (or hitting his wife, however you wanna read this)
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Male 2,159
What if I`m drunk and my hand finds bewbs?
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Male 109
my cat didnt like the rough petting :( the bible has failed me once again
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Female 1,395
It`s good to know the Lord blesses my vigorous masturbation, cheers JC ;)
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Male 4,393
Amen!
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Male 240
I should punch my wife with all my might? Thanks JC!
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Male 463
I actually found that verse in the New King James version. Word for word. The surrouning text describes work and tasks to do for others. I never thought it could mean something much less useful (or more depending on who you are) until now.
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Female 245
Amen! :D
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Male 4,290
Can I get an amen?
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Male 335
Even if it means I`m murdering someone? Well okay then!
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Male 2,004
i don`t give a f*ck if its in the bible, i do it anyway
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Male 3,425
Hahaha, I`m not religious, so I don`t even need an excuse.
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Male 4,593
I`ll remember that next time I`m hunting feral cats with my 9-iron.
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Male 13,630
I spy with my little eye, fancy is lighting another flame war......
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Male 480
Lol. ALL RIGHT!
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Male 10,440
Seems a little contradictory to what all those priests will tell you. But then again... it is from the bible.
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Male 2,313
Solid advice.
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Male 20,825
Link: Fappiest Passage in the Bible [Pic] [Rate Link] - Well, if it says so in the Bible, it must be OK.
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