And Now a Serious Link: A Page From Genesis [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 7 years ago in Funny

The Bible, as translated by a atheist with a sense of humor.
There are 138 comments:
Female 57
CEILING CAT.
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Male 65
ha aminulz thats funnnnnna
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Female 1,306
Lolcats.
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Male 204
Meh. Atheist trying to make Christianity by mocking it`s holy book. . . Stop the presses.

Frankly, with how bad religion makes God look(especially these days), I figure the "Invisible Man" would enjoy this. He does have a sense of humour too, ya know. ;-)

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Female 25
Can`t we just say `lol` and move the drat on?

That`s what I`m doing. xD

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Female 3,574
lol not that I completely disagree with you, Overmann, but the argument that "To say God made DNA is to say he made us and our world imperfect" is... sort of funny, seeing as that is well, the entire human condition, and the definition of "the fall".
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Male 155
iz in ur skriptchures, martyrin` ur profetts.
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Male 2,159
What`s this? A religion war? I`m so god-damned surprised... ¬_¬
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Male 350
It`s not the lolcat bible. In the lolcat bible, there`s Ceiling cat, not "Invisible man".
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Male 1,164
im in ur debatez, nullifying ur pointz.
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Male 2,605
"God created evolution"

Evolution works just as well without the assumption that God exists. In the theory of evolution, God is extraneous and therefore unnecessary. Indeed he contributes no additional explaining power.

As an aside, anyone wishing to claim that God created evolution would as a corollary also have to accept that God designed DNA replication to be an imperfect process, namely that DNA doesn`t replicate itself with 100% efficiency (it doesn`t). This loophole allows one to suggest that God is also therefore directly responsible for genetic diseases. See here for a video on that thought.

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Male 194
thats not really funny, im a christian and stuff but i dont believe GOD was like poof and it was there, i believe in evolution and all...i just put two and two together...God created evolution...DUH
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Male 2,121
That`s the lolcat bible... http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?tit...

its not, I went on to Genesis 1:1 on that link and its different.

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Male 174
all prayse be to ceiling cat
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Male 431
its come to the point where i cant tell if fancylads poorly constructed captions (grammatically and truthfully) are deliberate or because he`s already too bored to look up proper grammar
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Male 237
My XBOX Live bio is just `themz mai aminulz` taken from this.
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Female 751
I think it was translated by jesus lol cat.... hehe "mai" and "teh" ...etc. = all lol catz werdz
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Female 718
That`s the lolcat bible... http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?tit...
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Female 146
boring. and who actaully says `teh`
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Female 850
yep too many words to give a poo about.
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Female 573
It seems like it was translated by a GANGSTER, not an atheist.
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Female 855
Did teh Jeebus-man have cheezeburger?
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Male 162
I have no idea if I`m insulted or amused. :D
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Male 35
Haha, I would buy that as soon as I could find it. Maybe it could replace my current, non-kitteh-fied Bible. :-)
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Male 73
YESSS LOLCAT BIBLE OWNS!!!
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Male 204
THAT OFFENDS ME!!! FOR I AM A CHRISTIN AND THAT IS SOOOOO MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!
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Male 394
This is the lolcat bible
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Male 12,365
"Hey Angilion, tonight... when you`re all tucked up snug and warm in your bed, with all the doors locked, and you think you`re so totally safe and untouchable... we`re gonna PRAY for you! Muhuhahaha..."

No-one expects the sneaky praying in the night!

Hmm...that butchery of Monty Python didn`t really work.

Anyway...you can pretend to pray for me, but you are in fact praying for yourself. Your actions for your reasons with your beliefs - nothing to do with me.

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Female 3,828
lol nice
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Male 650
Our holey bibel
All praisez teh Invisibel Man
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Male 2,551
It should be "The Bible, as translated by an atheist with a sense of humor."

Not much, but it occasionally gets on my nerves. xD

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Male 617
if i can laugh at other religions, i better be able to laugh at my own...so in the interest of all the scientology jokes out there, i say LOL
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Male 8,302
> Winter_ICE_0
> I`d like to formally request that for the next month IAB does no post anything religious

Um yeah, good luck with that.

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Male 1,704
god and bible studies pooe is biggest topic on IAB aint it?
always gets so much attention!
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Male 695
Heh... Funneh UN-chrishun theng iz funneh! Funneh chrishun thang notz funneh..? I can haz hypocritz now?
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Male 49
lighten up
its funny
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Female 1,593
I saw this a while ago. I think it was called The Lolcat Bible or something like that. :|
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Male 4,546
Davy:

So what you`re saying is, we should look for evidence of his works and not get hung up on the whole technical definition of invisible?

Interesting concept.

And now, for an impersonation.
*Ahem*

MELANIN causes a tan, lol Lern 2 science, this DISPROVES your invisible tan beams! UV is getting pushed further and further back the more science lerns. Your light of the gaps will die out soon enough. <Insert deriding comment about fairies>.

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Male 4,546
Hey another passive aggressive post jabbing at Christianity. How original.
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Male 27
OMG, look, it`s a religious post! OMG! Only the 2nd i`ve bothered to see this week!

Cut to it. You believe what you want. Don`t get in other people`s faces about it, EITHER of you opinion pools.

Now, can we please as a society move on and get OFF the religious BS?

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Male 976
Polar24... do you realize that your name is spelt in leet-speak? you can`t really criticize someone about they`re grammar if you`re using leet-speak. I also present you a challenge: would you put `a` or `an` in front of the word "Hour"?
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Male 104
"Because all the scientifically minded atheist dont make fun of ultra-violet light and call it "INVISIBLE" but even still we cannot see it."

Get ready for a do-at-home science experiment!...

1. Pour yourself a glass of tonic water.
2. Get yourself a light bulb that *supposedly* produces UV.
3. Combine
Ta Da! Proof that the ultraviolet spectrum does indeed exist.

Now, if you`d be so kind, please retrieve me some god-revealing water in order to justify your comparison. No? Shucks.

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Female 56
@ p0l4r21:
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Male 63
"I believe that all Atheists are going to hell and that God can go shove a rooster up his ass because he doesn`t exist."

You bring up an interesting philosophical point that I had never thought of before...

If Christians are correct then God knows everything and Jesus is God. Therefor they have no choice except to conclude that Jesus already knows what it`s like to have a rooster shoved up his ass.

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Female 339
@ p0l4r21
Doesn`t depend on what letter comes AFTER the vowel (I think only if the vowel is a U)? I mean, you don`t have "an universe" or "an ukulele"; it`s "a universe" and "a ukulele".
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Male 79
Get over it. It`s the Bible translated into caturday speak.
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Male 504
Ok now I am sick of people that can`t get the use of an and a right. Now when if you are putting a in front of a vowel you add a n to make an. If in front of a consonant you use a. Ok that said our vowels are a, e, i, o, u and sometimes y. I am tired of seeing on the Internet people use an everywhere a should be and a everywhere an should be -- is it a protest or something because when read it makes the writer sound ignorant.
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Female 472
. . . am I the only one who went into this expecting Phil Collins?
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Female 4,447
I keep going back and reading little bits of this and giggling madly.
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Male 976
"`I`d like to formally request that for the next month IAB does no post anything religious. It`s become too much of a hate-mongering comment flame war.`

I`d like to formally request that you grow some skin."

I, good sir, have a very adequate amount of skin and have no intention of growing any more. I do, however, dislike watching two people who both think the other is a complete idiot, get into a verbal fight. I believe that all Atheists are going to hell and that God can go shove a rooster up his ass because he doesn`t exist. Never-the-less, religious arguments will never EVER be won by either side.

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Male 70
imgane doing this with the koran...
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Male 1,455
"You know all the "INVISIBLE MAN" Jokes make me Mad. Because all the scientifically minded atheist dont make fun of ultra-violet light and call it "INVISIBLE" but even still we cannot see it."

Way to miss the point. There`s a big difference between an invisible spectrum of light and an invisible Judaic supreme being who made everything because he felt like it.

"I`d like to formally request that for the next month IAB does no post anything religious. It`s become too much of a hate-mongering comment flame war."

I`d like to formally request that you grow some skin.

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Male 12,138
[quote]You know all the "INVISIBLE MAN" Jokes make me Mad. Because all the scientifically minded atheist dont make fun of ultra-violet light and call it "INVISIBLE" but even still we cannot see it. so I guess we just have to believe you scientist when they say that it exsist.[/quote]

Ever get a tan?

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Male 4,793
religion is a waste of your time and your life. get out while you can.
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Male 256
You know all the "INVISIBLE MAN" Jokes make me Mad. Because all the scientifically minded atheist dont make fun of ultra-violet light and call it "INVISIBLE" but even still we cannot see it. so I guess we just have to believe you scientist when they say that it exsist. really or maybe your flying spagetti monster made it
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Male 256
OHH Here we go with "The Christians shoving the Bible down the Atheist throat" Looks to me like persecution from the atheist.
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Male 1,003
An invisible wizard, cha3370.
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Male 182
lolol good point lion
story rocks
invisible man make bright thing =P
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Male 976
I`d like to formally request that for the next month IAB does no post anything religious. It`s become too much of a hate-mongering comment flame war.
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Male 8,302
Hey Angilion, tonight... when you`re all tucked up snug and warm in your bed, with all the doors locked, and you think you`re so totally safe and untouchable... we`re gonna PRAY for you! Muhuhahaha...
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Female 15,763
I love you, Lion.
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Male 12,365
"How can anyone decide the Bible is crazy or untrue if they havent read it?
Just saying."

Parts of it contradict other parts.

It`s badly mistranslated from various sources.

It allows, praises or requires all sorts of vile things.

The NT was created by a council ~300 years after the alleged events using stories they liked that were written by the winners of an internal war.

The whole thing is a story of magic by a superwizard (who comes in three parts) who created everything, was active in the world until they suddenly stopped for no known reason and who faked no end of evidence that contradicts the stories in the book, again for no known reason. Then they disappeared without trace.

There are many such books that are better written. Personally, I think that Tolkien`s creation stories (Ainulindale and Valaquenta) are much better written, more believable and certainly more consistent (both internally and with reality).

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Male 8,302
Hey, how do we know that`s a REAL copy of the Bible??

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Female 89
Atheists believe the world just appeared one day, but christians know a wizard did it!
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Male 15,510
The complete Lolcatz Bible can be found

Here

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Male 422
Hahaha...I can has ketteh bibe :)
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Male 976
That reminds me of how the crocs talk in the comic strip "Pearls Before Swine".
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Female 9,557
I`m a Christan and I wish the bible was written like that, lol.
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Male 56
"How could an INVISIBLE man make people that look like him?"

Just because he`s invisible, doesn`t mean he can`t have a form does it?
What if he just switches it on and off, to stop our eyes from as.sploding?

Anyway, "he" doesn`t exist

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Female 60
MonzaBird, you bring a point to light...
How can anyone decide the Bible is crazy or untrue if they havent read it?
Just saying.
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Female 1,427
I want that version of the bible right now.

Seriously. I`d hand out free copies to people on the streets and ask them if they`d been saved.

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Female 218
Omg! I laughed sooo hard. Just when you think the Bible couldn`t be crazier...I`d read the whole thing if it was written like that.
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Male 716
This was funny. Though I`m going to strike down this guy:

How could an INVISIBLE man make people that look like him?

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Female 172
Invisible earth wuz invisible XD I`m Christian and even I can see the epic humor in this
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Female 723
Yeah, uh...lolcat.
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Female 71
I`d SO get taht.
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Male 336
no, gorack2000. lolcats were BORN jumping the shark. Their whole lives they have been jumping the shark.

I can haz crappie humorz!?!

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Female 428
"z0mg edwerd yu soo hawt n vampiery ai wont to totully do yoos"

Isn`t that how the book goes, anyway?

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Male 1,718
Just type in lolcat bible into google. They have translated it all.
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Female 1,120
I wonder how long it took to do that. ?
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Female 519
I`m sure this link would`ve been great and all...if I didn`t have to lean close to the screen just to attempt to read this junk.
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Male 4,680
Is it just me or have lolcats jumped the shark. Then jumped another one. And another. And another...
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Male 3,425
This isn`t mocking anyone`s beliefs, the bible`s a pretty big book, pretty popular too I hear, it doesn`t surprise me they chose to do that book first. Who knows, maybe they`ll do Twilight next.

"z0mg edwerd yu soo hawt n vampiery ai wont to totully do yoos"

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Male 358
Hmmm...
What some people will do just to mock others beliefs.
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Male 66
LOLCat speak has got to be THE most annoying thing ever. I don`t understand why anyone finds it at all funny after maybe the third or fourth one.
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Male 928
This is just a less funny version of the actual lolcat bible translation project.
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Male 838
Can you imagine the lack of a life someone would have to have in order to do this? Staggering, I tell you.
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Male 10,440
[quote]I am a devout born-again Christian, [/quote]

be sure to say that to others, so that you may be easily identified.

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Male 13
fail.
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Male 792
I`m a devout panentheist, and found this moronic.
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Female 1,181
this makes more sense than the original bible.
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Male 12,365
"So what, let them translate a page of Genesis into lolcats. Doesn`t offend me."

They`ve done nearly all the Christian bible by now, but this isn`t a page from the lolcat bible project.

I do think it`s a little odd that people would spend the time needed to convert such a lot of text to lolcat, but I suppose it isn`t much when spread out over many people.

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Male 3,425
This would have been better a few years ago, when lolcats were kind of funny. Everyone just hates them now.
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Male 12,365
Is a translation into a mangled pidgin English really any worse than a translation into English? Most of the English translations are extremely bad or deliberately altered, so this translation might, by chance, be more accurate.
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Male 182
I am a devout born-again Christian, and found this to be hilarious =p.
So what, let them translate a page of Genesis into lolcats. Doesn`t offend me.
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Female 414
AN ATHIEST omyfg x[ cutecutecute :]
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Female 931
=[
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Male 1,220
Kinda hard to see :(
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Male 964
FINALY! The bible in a language i can read...no joke.
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Female 529
Seems to me that theist are just douchebags. I mean, every topic that has theists in it is some guy doing somthing douchbaggy.
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Male 101
seems to me that theists are just people who are a bit insane that need religion to justify themselves...i mean, every topic that has a theist in it has them trying to exorcise a young child because he has homosexual tendencies, or doing something else with a young child for that matter...
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Male 12,365
"It`s the bible as written by a lolcat"

I`m not sure of that, because then it would probably have been "ceiling cat" rather than "invisible man".

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Female 1
This is from the Lolcats bible. Not an athiest.
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Female 196
"Seems to me that atheist are just douchebags. I mean, every topic that has astheists in it is some guy doing somthing douchbaggy."
i think i speak for many athiests when i say
you twat. have a nice day.
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Male 2
I`m pretty sure this is from "Da Jesus Book." It`s translated for the Hawaiian Language...It`s called Pidgin...
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Male 587
The bible is funny even without the translation..
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Male 10,440
Its kinda hard to read.
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Male 73
Seems to me that atheist are just douchebags. I mean, every topic that has astheists in it is some guy doing somthing douchbaggy.
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Male 569
it just got annoying.
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Male 346
Eh.

I don`t find this funny :/

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Female 236
It`s the bible as written by a lolcat
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Male 376
Meh. I don`t find lolcat talk very funny anymore. But whoever translated it, good job I guess :P
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Male 12,138
I want to read Deuteronomy: "a dude wut smexez anuther dude iz teh ghey".
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Female 428
I want to read more. This is funny.
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Female 3,726
Bwaahahahahaha!

Kitteh n` cowz n` snakez n stuf iz gud

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Male 36
funny but what makes it atheist?
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Male 533
lol @ christian juggalo
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Male 959
I think we can all agree it makes more sense than the original fairy tale
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Male 89
I`m christian but thats funny. l33t 5p34k nigga
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Male 3,915
that was funny...but i couldn`t read the whole thing...it hurt me eyes...
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Male 1,051
The pic sort of hard to read. It`s an atheist that spends his time on the fore-mentioned icanhascheeseburger if anything.
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Male 541
@Vhreio

No, but it is similar.

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?tit...

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Female 99

:)
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Male 86
meh; too bored for a flame war today
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Male 100
Looks almost like a translation of the translation of the "Lolcats" bible.

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?tit...


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Male 4,807
Its funny cause its true...... Now for da flame war. Ya know its gonna happen.
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Male 22
Haha, wonder where I can pick up a copy of that Bible?
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Male 252
I cant read much there but lol @ kitteh & cowz
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Female 209
lol
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Male 506
Isn`t this the lolcat bible?
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Female 1,572
Is this the lolbible project?
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Male 1,647

Teh bestest Bibble yet.
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Male 2,148
I support this post. It was funny.
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Male 17,512
uhmm.. missed mark again.. That`s the "I can Haz cheezburger" version of the bible, I think.
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Male 9,305
They finished the lolcat bible!?
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Male 302
It would be funny if it wasn`t so difficult to read (and if it had any jokes in it, instead of just relying on SUP4 1332Z speaking.
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Female 40
LOL
rox0rz 0.o
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Male 20,827
Link: And Now a Serious Link: A Page From Genesis [Pic] [Rate Link] - The Bible, as translated by a atheist with a sense of humor.
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