6 Fake Foods You Have in Your Kitchen

Submitted by: Miami_FL653 7 years ago Weird
http://www.cracked.com/article/113_6-fake-foods-you-will-wish-you-didnt-have-in-your-kitchen/

But wished to sweet baby Jesus that you didn"t.
There are 46 comments:
Female 1,283
"Frankly, I`d rather eat non-genetically modified food grown with chemical pesiticides that I can wash off than genetically modified foods that produce their own pesticides..."
It`s absorbed into the skin of the food in question. Try spraying an apple with Raid^(TM) and then "wash it off". Doubt you`ll eat it.

Personally, I say eff `em all and I grow my own food. Salmonella can be wasted by one of those health zappers or whatever (try a tazer for extra benefits lol [seriously though, the zappers work]).

Besides, they`re going to nuke organic food anyway somewhere in 2010 or in the future because it`s "unsanitary" and "dangerous" with that new growth hormone...kinda like ephedera and it`s 153 inconclusively linked deaths the FDA babbled about...lol.

So, wonder if anybody cares if the corporates are stabbing society over and over?

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Male 792
Organic food carries a much higher risk of salmonella, and e coli poisoning. Also, just because a food is labelled as "organic" doesn`t mean that it`s not genetically modified. Many organics are GMed to be resistant to weeds and insects...

Frankly, I`d rather eat non-genetically modified food grown with chemical pesiticides that I can wash off than genetically modified foods that produce their own pesticides...

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Female 182
damn it I love cheese slices!
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Female 3,598
i love cracked. quality.
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Female 237
There is nothing new or shocking about this info.

Also, someone once told me there are risks attached to eatting organic food, though how or why etc is beyond me.

I wouldn`t take suppliments... Give me good ol` animal tested drugs any day of the week!

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Male 792
...sure, iluvpink13...That`s why our grocery stores routinely sells produce shipped in from the US, Mexico, South Africa, Chile, China, etc... Christ, half the products in the grocery stores are made in China...which is worse because their standards are much lower than any one elses.

"our country is healthier, skinnier, and has less cancer rates. we arent allowed to import meat from the states."

Do you care to cite your sources? Canada`s obesity rates are around 23-24%. The US`s is 24-25%...not much of a difference, really. The cancer rate in Canada is roughly 0.5%, and in the US it`s 0.6%...again, not a huge difference.

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Male 204
I used to work in one of those imitation crab meat plants. I still eat the stuff cause it`s still made of fish and nothing really artificial(we used actual crab to add the crab-flavour; most use just fish and flavouring). It`s rare that I do, though, cause, as expensive as real crab is, it`s not so much more than fake that I would buy it over the real thing. Same with Maple syrup.

It`s not fake in the sense that it`s something other than actual food. . . But, definitely still fake.

Strawberry flavouring? I made that stuff, along with orange soda syrup - and soda - and several other flavours, in H.S. Chemistry Class. Don`t care, I just keep my consumption moderate and an eye on my health in case I grow an extra leg or eye or something.

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Male 3,756
The strawberry flavoring goes for pretty much any flavored candy or drink. I don`t think they put watermelon into Jolly Ranchers.
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Female 2,289
I used to LOVE kroger crab meat.

Still do.

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Male 222
I`m so hungry, all this sounds delicious.
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Male 2,582
I have beer, peppermint schnapps, and jar of mustard in my kitchen.
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Female 1,264
Fake food FTW I adore surimi.

But I do adore real maple syrup and real crab meat. Yumm.

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Female 1,413
one time we went to the states and brought back food, including cheese, and it lasted in the fridge for 2 MONTHS without going bad. canadian cheese, although much more expensive, goes bad within about a week. because its REAL FOOD. we have much higher food standards. our country is healthier, skinnier, and has less cancer rates. we arent allowed to import meat from the states. (although u can go there and bring back groceries. )

just sayin..

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Male 1,918
what about movie margarine?
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Male 2,506
I have none but cheese
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Female 525
I will eat my fake foods and love every minute of it. So there.
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Male 45
Hahahahaha they got it wrong I don`t have ANY of these in my kitchen.

The Demon FTW!

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Male 3,842
I`m sorry, but Cracked, which is usually very good, is beyond weak this time. I think everyone knew imitation crab meat (which I think has to be spelled "krab") is mashed up random fish.

Everyone knew imitation cheese (which I think is always labeled "cheese food") is not cheese. Isn`t "cheese food" what cheese would eat?

No one even tries to pass off that "artificial butter flavoring" as "butter" - no one denies it`s fake as the day is long.

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Female 427
All of this food sounds delicious. Where can buy it in bulk?
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Female 444
For me a huge sing says this page is gonna give my comupter cancer...
Be careful
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Male 4,680
And now I shall never eat sliced `cheese` again. Thanks, cracked/IAB!
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Female 277
Rigby you used to smoke you can`t get on a high horse about people putting toxins in their body, atleast these ones taste good.
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Female 917
The weird part was that while I was reading about the chemical popcorn butter, I wanted popcorn.
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Male 9,306
( -_-) "....."
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Female 443
The only thing on that list in my kitchen is some fake strawberry crap. Because I am quitting smoking and eating vast quantities of hard candies. Other wise I don`t buy `fake` food.

Can`t everyone taste that that poo isn`t food? Was anyone surprised on here? Especially that American cheese... Really??? it fooled you??? have you ever actually eaten CHEESE? geeze louise.

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Male 1,666
Tasty. And we wonder why every generation is becoming less healthy nowadays.
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Male 446
So you`re either eating real sea-insect meat, or you`re eating ground up fish with ground up insect dye. I kind of want some california rolls now.
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Female 1,004
....I just had a buncha fake crab meat just the other day. Mmmmm. Doesn`t taste like crab, but it`s still delicious.

I`ll say that if I`m not dead from it yet and it`s still yummy, I`ll keep eating it.

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Male 1,002
Let`s hear it for weird hippie food upbringings!!
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Female 9,402
"I`m going to go eat my lab-tested and FDA approved chemicals and love it."

Ha, isn`t that stuff great? lmao.

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Female 864
Thanks for mentioning the non dairy creamer seeks love that stuff is nasty.Now I`m no dirty hippie but I try and eat food in it`s most natural state as possible .Packaged food is so full of chemicals no wonder the rates of cancer etc are so high .Our bodies are not meant to ingest this stuff.Eating as clean as possible keeps you slim healthy and energetic .Don`t mean to preach this is just one of those things that I feel very strongly about .
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Male 7,378
I like fake crab meat. At least it`s real fish.
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Female 15,763
Maybe you`ll think next time you go into the "organic" section of the grocery store and read the "natural flavorings" that they add, that maybe they aren`t so natural after all.

I`m going to go eat my lab-tested and FDA approved chemicals and love it.

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Male 463
i will never trust mozarella again
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Female 267
I`ve never had any of this stuff in my house except syrup, which we are currently out of. I win.
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Female 428
I have none of this. And they forgot non-dairy coffee creamers. Those things are disgusting >_<
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Male 10,440
Yea I don`t have any of those. And even if I did, I would be fine with it.
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Male 138
I guess I`ll go make myself a fake strawberry and fake vodka mix, put some fake wasabi on my fake crab sushi, and cry myself to sleep.
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Male 5,314
i can honestly say i have none of those in my house.
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Male 308
I have maple syrup, but it`s real maple syrup. Besides that I don`t bother with any of the others.
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Male 1,140
Should I really be surprised?
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Female 308
though I enjoy my plastic cheese and liquid sugar, nothing compares to real cheese and authentic maple syrup
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Female 68
BOO-YAH!
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Female 654
*Shrugs* I like the taste of fake crab meat.

Lol TripleNipple, high five!

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Female 68
I still really like fake crab meat
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Male 231
Link: 6 Fake Foods You Have in Your Kitchen [Rate Link] - But wished to sweet baby Jesus that you didn`t.
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