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(god some people are so trashy, ugh)
He has a look and says "Yes, these modern VD`s are bad, there`s no choice but to amputate. It needs to be done immediately, or it could spread and you`ll die. It`s relatively simple, I can do it here in the surgery." Well, the guy isn`t too pleased about it, but if it`ll save his life... he tells the Doc to do it straight away. The Doc gives him anasthetic, and chops the member off.
He`s lying there recovering, the Doc says "You`ll be sore for a week or so, you want a Medical Certificate for time off work?"
"Nah", says the man, "no need, I lost my job 3 weeks ago thanks to the Recession"
"Oh dear", says the Doc, "so what do you do now?"
"Nothing", says the man, "just sit around all day watching porno`s and eating cheeto`s..."
She likes Cheetos because she`s dressed like a cheetah?
No... SHE HAS AN OPIE ARM! D: