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[Total: 62    Average: 3.5/5]
86 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 23417
Rating: 3.5
Category: Funny
Date: 08/07/09 12:00 PM

86 Responses to Ex-Pedo Give Tips on How to Make Kids Less Cute

  1. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18942 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 1:06 pm
    Link: Ex-Pedo Give Tips on How to Make Kids Less Cute - Child safety expert and ex-pedophile Terry Parker shares some insider tips from his years spent as a sex offender.
  2. Profile photo of Taipan
    Taipan Male 18-29
    156 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 1:34 pm
    hiiiiii jimmmm and traccyyy thanks for having meeee
  3. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15774 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 1:35 pm
    There was some show where a pedophile in prison helped some authority find a missing child... but then it turns out he was the perp... was that CSI?

    Anyone know what I`m talking about?

  4. Profile photo of Zepher
    Zepher Female 18-29
    414 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 1:38 pm
    gotta love the onion and their breaking news!

    I think that was CSI Opie

  5. Profile photo of green_btrfly
    green_btrfly Female 18-29
    751 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 1:40 pm
    gotta love the onion
  6. Profile photo of DeeCache
    DeeCache Male 18-29
    788 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 1:47 pm
    onion= bleh
  7. Profile photo of Concetra
    Concetra Male 18-29
    2050 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 1:50 pm
    @opie Wasn`t that Silence of the Lambs ?
  8. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15774 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 1:54 pm
    It`s this one!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burn_Out_(C...

    I knew I wasn`t crazy... at least not yet.

  9. Profile photo of vitaliy
    vitaliy Male 18-29
    1668 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 2:05 pm
    This is the only instance that I can remember that I`ve actually found The Onion funny. Props.
  10. Profile photo of WorldOfJames
    WorldOfJames Male 18-29
    978 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 2:10 pm
    almost had me fooled till i recognised the logo ;)
  11. Profile photo of Mariam67
    Mariam67 Female 18-29
    173 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 2:15 pm
    I laughed so hard and I didn`t even realize it was a joke at first. Hahahaha...rip his bike shorts.
  12. Profile photo of BunnyNaku
    BunnyNaku Female 18-29
    5224 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 2:30 pm
    OMG i thought the link was real.. thank gawd its the onion XD
  13. Profile photo of Swaywithme
    Swaywithme Female 18-29
    3696 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 2:54 pm
    I actually usually find the Onion pretty funny but for some reason this time...not so much :( I dunno, I just feel dirty and sad.

    Guess I just don`t find child molestation funny...boourns for me

  14. Profile photo of Fairienyte
    Fairienyte Female 18-29
    146 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 3:01 pm
    Before I even watched it, I was was thinking `Please let this be The Onion`. Glad it was but, this was really rather sick.
  15. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7935 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 3:05 pm
    ok we heard less cute....now how about more?
  16. Profile photo of The-Sentinel
    The-Sentinel Male 18-29
    1149 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 3:23 pm
    onion news... should have known :P
  17. Profile photo of Rick_S
    Rick_S Male 40-49
    3291 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 3:39 pm
    Didn`t find it funny. I usually skip the Onion stuff because I rarely find it funny. This one didn`t say onion, so it slipped through. Meh.
  18. Profile photo of dragonshadoz
    dragonshadoz Female 18-29
    4031 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 3:43 pm
    Well, I guess it`s better than a "former child molester" giving tips via YouTube or something.
  19. Profile photo of Lionhart2
    Lionhart2 Male 40-49
    8306 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 3:44 pm
    Don`t ever trust "reformed criminals" doing "public services" for your own good. Firstly, what they`re doing is providing a manual for other pedo`s on the "best" victims to choose. Secondly, they`re expanding their contact circle to include vulnerable mothers who feel they aren`t watching their kids well enough - the perfect people to befriend.

    NEVER forgot the tale of The Scorpion and the Frog.

  20. Profile photo of spocksbeard
    spocksbeard Male 18-29
    55 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 3:52 pm
    For a brief second I didn`t think this was The Onion, phew!
  21. Profile photo of d_coy
    d_coy Female 70 & Over
    15 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 3:53 pm
    This is the onion guys ._.
  22. Profile photo of Xerasia
    Xerasia Female 18-29
    1181 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 4:06 pm
    Rick_S, you probably didn`t find it funny because it hits a little too close to your own, uh, "lifestyle". I mean, your profile pic just *screams* pedo.
  23. Profile photo of Nidonemo
    Nidonemo Male 18-29
    9308 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 4:32 pm
    Ewwww
  24. Profile photo of gorgack2000
    gorgack2000 Male 13-17
    4682 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 4:45 pm
    The Onion just love to push the boundaries of offensive don`t they :P
  25. Profile photo of senia
    senia Female 18-29
    96 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 4:45 pm
    OMFG. Is this for real?!
  26. Profile photo of Lionhart2
    Lionhart2 Male 40-49
    8306 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 4:47 pm
    > senia
    > OMFG. Is this for real?!

    Well OBVIOUSLY it`s real! If there`s one News service you can trust, it`s The Onion!!

  27. Profile photo of deathxtra
    deathxtra Male 13-17
    2791 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 4:58 pm
    Very helpful
    Thanks, IAB
  28. Profile photo of akijade
    akijade Female 18-29
    1006 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 5:03 pm
    *sigh* Onion. I was hoping it would be real. It would have been more amusing.
  29. Profile photo of Monsdurr
    Monsdurr Male 13-17
    741 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 5:10 pm
    Why does The Onion still exist?

    Do people actually find it funny?
    Are they the same people who think `Two and a Half Men` is funny?

  30. Profile photo of lizbian_2
    lizbian_2 Female 18-29
    185 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 5:12 pm
    why is it that on every onion post anywhere there is always someone that says, "is this real?"

    C`mon, don`t be a freaking idiot. Are you serious?

  31. Profile photo of dragosal
    dragosal Male 18-29
    1630 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 5:14 pm
    LMAO! i love the onion
  32. Profile photo of lerie
    lerie Female 18-29
    1265 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 5:15 pm
    @akijade
    same here.
  33. Profile photo of speedy_3909
    speedy_3909 Male 13-17
    360 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 5:17 pm
    Oh my I gotsa go have a talk with my kids.
  34. Profile photo of GamrGrl10
    GamrGrl10 Female 18-29
    10 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 6:09 pm
    "he`s not interested in having a conversation with them, he simply wants their small body pressed against his." lmfao!!! sick tho, but lol
  35. Profile photo of Freyr108
    Freyr108 Male 18-29
    203 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 6:15 pm
    lol he does look like a pedophile though
  36. Profile photo of ladynerd
    ladynerd Female 18-29
    252 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 6:18 pm
    Fairly amusing, would have been funnier with more tips though.
  37. Profile photo of s1cKs0uL
    s1cKs0uL Female 18-29
    394 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 6:19 pm
    EX pedophile... there is no such thing.
  38. Profile photo of johnnyab
    johnnyab Male 18-29
    68 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 6:28 pm
    this is a bit sick - not funny to me
  39. Profile photo of Jazzeh
    Jazzeh Female 13-17
    464 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 6:47 pm
    Time to rub dirt all over my face.
  40. Profile photo of Ranakamarth
    Ranakamarth Male 18-29
    294 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 7:12 pm
    Ya know, you hear about ex hackers turn around and share how they do their magic with the IT security, and become white hat hackers and stuff to test out systems.

    For some reason... that same idea doesn`t seem like it would work with pedophiles... lol

  41. Profile photo of SarahofBorg
    SarahofBorg Female 18-29
    3564 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 7:26 pm
    Nothing funnier than pedophelia, amirite kids?
  42. Profile photo of toxic1
    toxic1 Female 18-29
    82 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 7:56 pm
    ok IMB...this was in realy bad taste. Really didn`t think this was funny. And who was the sicko who wrote this bit?? Don`t think this would make snl.
  43. Profile photo of Sajo
    Sajo Male 18-29
    436 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 8:05 pm
    I giggled. Hee Hee.
  44. Profile photo of The_Garuness
    The_Garuness Male 18-29
    931 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 8:31 pm
    "ohh, i bet you didnt get far with THAT kid"
    "no, i didnt."
    i buckled with laughter at that :P
  45. Profile photo of sothis
    sothis Female 18-29
    47 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 8:32 pm
    ugh! That was NASTY! He still looks, acts and talks like a pedo, reformed my ass!!!
  46. Profile photo of dciurro
    dciurro Male 13-17
    18 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 8:38 pm
    Child safety expert. Pedophile. i had to double check and see if this is the onion. is it?
  47. Profile photo of icecream2269
    icecream2269 Female 18-29
    523 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 8:40 pm
    a new way to make perogiiiies.
  48. Profile photo of heartx3jess
    heartx3jess Female 18-29
    1578 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 8:44 pm
    hahahaha, this was win. pure win.
  49. Profile photo of Turducken
    Turducken Male 18-29
    62 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 8:46 pm
    its not the onion. but its the same stuff. so no its not real
  50. Profile photo of Skeezer1991
    Skeezer1991 Male 18-29
    721 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 8:46 pm
    This is awesome.
  51. Profile photo of JOSHISPOSI
    JOSHISPOSI Male 13-17
    89 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 8:54 pm
    it is onion. see the small scrolling text underneath today now? it says onion news network :]
  52. Profile photo of lil_Sunflori
    lil_Sunflori Female 18-29
    73 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 8:58 pm
    Is this a joke?
  53. Profile photo of Lionhart2
    Lionhart2 Male 40-49
    8306 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 8:59 pm
    > s1cKs0uL
    > EX pedophile... there is no such thing

    Amen sister, we hear you.

  54. Profile photo of mmp2064
    mmp2064 Male 40-49
    27 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 9:10 pm
    comedy that makes you uncomfortable at the same time . . . why do I love that? Why do I love that Ricky Gervais?
  55. Profile photo of videogamer
    videogamer Male 18-29
    3016 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 9:52 pm
    "Is this a joke?"

    No, an actual pedophile was invited to the set of a morning talk show to talk about how to keep your kids from getting rapedOF COURSE IT`S A JOKE YOU MORON.

  56. Profile photo of shunpo_31
    shunpo_31 Male 18-29
    1381 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 10:15 pm
    those reporters look sooooooo uncomfortable.
  57. Profile photo of vitaliy
    vitaliy Male 18-29
    1668 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 10:45 pm
    shun, The Onion is a fake news network. :D
  58. Profile photo of deadguy83
    deadguy83 Male 18-29
    55 posts
    August 7, 2009 at 10:50 pm
    He reminds me of my science teacher from high school.
  59. Profile photo of som-tam
    som-tam Male 18-29
    714 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 12:29 am
    the day today rip off.........
  60. Profile photo of rogue_lily
    rogue_lily Female 13-17
    126 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 2:05 am
    CREEPY...
    :(
    THATS WHAT HAPPENS TO GUYS AFTER 35!?
  61. Profile photo of iambluebeard
    iambluebeard Male 30-39
    338 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 4:26 am
    if i knew someone like that, i`d shank em like the prison bitch they were.
  62. Profile photo of Yadarfyn
    Yadarfyn Female 18-29
    191 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 5:35 am
    Heheh.
    I saw the description to this and was like, "Er, wut? EX-paeophile? Like that`s something you can get over?" Then I saw the Onion logo. :D
  63. Profile photo of lucasire
    lucasire Male 18-29
    2 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 5:37 am
    I`m blown away by how strange American people are. Is this normal?
  64. Profile photo of lucasire
    lucasire Male 18-29
    2 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 5:38 am
    ah right i see. a piss take. Very good
  65. Profile photo of SaintsFan
    SaintsFan Male 30-39
    256 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 5:50 am
    Wow, that`s not funny at all...
  66. Profile photo of Postovoy
    Postovoy Male 13-17
    462 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 6:14 am
    I was in shock before I saw the onion logo. Then I had to laugh.
  67. Profile photo of Silver_Arrow
    Silver_Arrow Male 13-17
    32 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 7:05 am
    What the hell? This is messed up!

    "90% of pedophiles like kids dressed in a sun dress and french braids. Because it will give them an erection that rips right thru their biker shorts"

    "But I prefer kids who are dirty and crumpled."

    "Once the pedophile has their hand down those kid`s pants, all innocence is stripped away."

    Is this freakin` real?

  68. Profile photo of Silver_Arrow
    Silver_Arrow Male 13-17
    32 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 7:05 am
    Hahaha, now I understand. It IS fake. Myyyyy baddddd, guys
  69. Profile photo of SilverThread
    SilverThread Male 30-39
    3431 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 8:37 am
    It makes me laugh.

    Sick, but funny.

  70. Profile photo of alexus2394
    alexus2394 Female 13-17
    291 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 9:18 am
    i don`t care if thats a joke or not,since when was abducting children considered funny?
  71. Profile photo of Dooked
    Dooked Male 18-29
    516 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 9:33 am
    Wow... I was creeped out until I realized it was from onion news xD
  72. Profile photo of WeenieDog
    WeenieDog Male 13-17
    180 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 10:52 am
    I lol`d. The Onion is beast.
  73. Profile photo of kinjomusashi
    kinjomusashi Male 30-39
    916 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 12:03 pm
    all pedophiles need to do the world a favor and just kill themselves...that`s the ONLY solution to cure these sick f*cks...
  74. Profile photo of WeenieDog
    WeenieDog Male 13-17
    180 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 5:54 pm
    You guys...

    Why so serious?

    It`s an onion video.

  75. Profile photo of BlackDragonB
    BlackDragonB Male 18-29
    69 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 6:07 pm
    WOW, thought it was real until I read some comments :p
  76. Profile photo of roses4u21
    roses4u21 Female 18-29
    89 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 9:07 pm
    i think the funniest part of this is that some people think it`s real.
    lol.
  77. Profile photo of mehh
    mehh Female 18-29
    528 posts
    August 8, 2009 at 11:06 pm
    I HATE THE ONION!
  78. Profile photo of glorificus
    glorificus Female 18-29
    18 posts
    August 9, 2009 at 3:59 am
    This just.. no. Not funny.
  79. Profile photo of Qtee_mo
    Qtee_mo Female 18-29
    414 posts
    August 9, 2009 at 5:19 am
    Hahaha i love it!!
  80. Profile photo of Fehz
    Fehz Male 30-39
    580 posts
    August 10, 2009 at 7:54 am
    The Onion is never real, people..
  81. Profile photo of _kiersten_
    _kiersten_ Female 18-29
    1682 posts
    August 10, 2009 at 10:32 am
    lol, i love the onion xD
  82. Profile photo of tiben36
    tiben36 Male 13-17
    66 posts
    August 10, 2009 at 12:04 pm
    want that your kids look ugly: McDonald`s for every kids in America
  83. Profile photo of Vipablaz
    Vipablaz Male 13-17
    191 posts
    August 11, 2009 at 8:58 am
    Lol an erection that will tear his bikeshorts
  84. Profile photo of lordpoee
    lordpoee Male 30-39
    101 posts
    August 11, 2009 at 4:49 pm
    I love the Onion. LOL
  85. Profile photo of M5000
    M5000 Male 13-17
    173 posts
    August 29, 2009 at 10:32 pm
    Lol win. Is that really the Onion? OOOOONIIIIIOOOOON!!!!!!

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