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Category: Misc
Date: 07/10/09 08:04 PM

90 Responses to Most Retarded Headline of the Day, #8 [Pic]

  1. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18499 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 6:16 am
    Link: Most Retarded Headline of the Day, #8 - So let me get this straight... she was alive? Before she died?
  2. Profile photo of Spirithound
    Spirithound Male 18-29
    815 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 6:21 am
    Call 0900 000 0000. Minimal reading skills and hand-eye co-ordination required.
  3. Profile photo of webcamwanker
    webcamwanker Male 18-29
    237 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 6:23 am
    you should change this to most retarded pointless post of the day.
  4. Profile photo of fibericon
    fibericon Male 18-29
    101 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 6:24 am
    And the first sentence of the article isn`t any less retarded.
  5. Profile photo of Mornaf
    Mornaf Male 18-29
    820 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 6:27 am
    Everything I know is a lie.
  6. Profile photo of ADMFlapplap
    ADMFlapplap Male 18-29
    175 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 6:27 am
    It`s not a mistake, it`s a joke. One thing that tips me off about it is the fact that it says above the headline "Exclusive To All Newspapers." And then the number they give you to call if you`ve seen her not only sounds like a fake number, but they say to call if you haven`t seen her, and it`s the same number.

    I wouldn`t be surprised if this is from the print edition of The Onion.

  7. Profile photo of jedimonk
    jedimonk Male 18-29
    188 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 6:45 am
    MOD?
  8. Profile photo of alfietoon
    alfietoon Male 18-29
    1164 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 6:48 am
    susan i hope you like banhammers coz they are gonna be smashing down on your spam-filled account pretty soon
  9. Profile photo of Rick_S
    Rick_S Male 40-49
    3275 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 6:57 am
    Was it me, or was the phone number at the bottom the funniest part? Seen her, call 0900 000 0000. Haven`t seen her. Call 0900 000 0000.
  10. Profile photo of TruTenrMan
    TruTenrMan Male 30-39
    2553 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 6:58 am
    I smell onion...
  11. Profile photo of pip-pip666
    pip-pip666 Female 18-29
    420 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 7:07 am
    i agree, probably The Onion. Or the Express have run out of Diana stories at last.
  12. Profile photo of MissMurder
    MissMurder Female 18-29
    311 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 7:08 am
    LOL have you seen her in Morocco? call now.
  13. Profile photo of domisgood
    domisgood Male 18-29
    4868 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 7:12 am
    i`m crying....
    must be onion
  14. Profile photo of RandyTheFool
    RandyTheFool Male 18-29
    820 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 7:17 am
    This is like all those reports about Michael Jackson last week.

    "Doctors say that Jackson had pulse before he died!"

    *GASP* NO! You don`t say?

  15. Profile photo of madrain
    madrain Female 18-29
    52 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 7:38 am
    Looks like Private Eye to me, a British satirical magazine. They love to lock the Tabloids, which publish(ed)loads of ridiculous stories like this.
  16. Profile photo of killergamer
    killergamer Male 13-17
    107 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 7:55 am
    am i the only one who noticed that it says `exclusive to all newspapers` at the top?
  17. Profile photo of nobody404
    nobody404 Male 13-17
    247 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 7:56 am
    "Call now! Calls cost (cont. p .94)"
  18. Profile photo of Moneo
    Moneo Female 13-17
    169 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 7:57 am
    Huh. I understood it as `Diana was still alive after the crash`.
  19. Profile photo of b4byf4c3
    b4byf4c3 Male 18-29
    4 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 8:07 am
    lol this is actually not as retarded as it may seem. it is aimed at all the conspiracy theorists who think that she was killed b4 the crash and that the crash was a cover-up. lol
  20. Profile photo of lukas1051
    lukas1051 Male 18-29
    3428 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 8:16 am
    I think you`re right madrain, looks like Private Eye to me. Either that, or b4byf4c3 is right, either way, no newspaper can be that retarded.
  21. Profile photo of WeeToddDid
    WeeToddDid Male 18-29
    180 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 8:21 am
    Hehe, this isn`t a real article, it may as well be from The Onion.
    Still, funny stuff.

    3*

  22. Profile photo of almightybob1
    almightybob1 Male 18-29
    4290 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 8:21 am
    It`s not The Onion, it`s Private Eye. It`s a similar style of satirical humour to The Onion, but it`s been around far longer.

    Page 94 is a long-standing in-joke. It doesn`t exist, and hundreds of articles are apparently "continued" there. Often the "(cont. p.94)" will appear just as the sentence seems like it is leading up to an important piece of information, such as in this example where they are parodying the phone-in scandal, as well as the sensationalist media stirring up loads of crap about Diana with "shocking new information" stories which actually contained nothing at all of interest.

  23. Profile photo of sup_weenie
    sup_weenie Female 18-29
    335 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 9:00 am
    soooo olddd
  24. Profile photo of donthaveone
    donthaveone Male 30-39
    953 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 9:02 am
    Yeah and I haven`t Slept since I Woke up either.
  25. Profile photo of apermal
    apermal Male 18-29
    322 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 9:07 am
    "Friday, July 10, 2009 7:55:12 AM
    am i the only one who noticed that it says `exclusive to all newspapers` at the top?"

    Um no. And the funny thing is, you asked this assuming no one noticed, without checking the comments to see. And then you would`ve noticed that we DID notice.

    Notice the number of times I used `notice`. Holy crap, what the hell is wrong with my English and posting ability today? :P

  26. Profile photo of stifler
    stifler Male 30-39
    161 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 9:14 am
    Exclusive to all newspapers! LOL
    Died 10 years ago! (12-13 years - meh)
    Have you seen her in Morocco! ROFL
  27. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15782 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 9:35 am
    Captain Obvious STRIKES AGAIN!
  28. Profile photo of dm2754
    dm2754 Male 40-49
    3283 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 9:42 am
    That`s right up there with the video someone posted about Michael Jackson being alive for he died in the hospital
  29. Profile photo of panth753
    panth753 Female 18-29
    9183 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 10:11 am
    I love it when it says, "Do you think Diana is dead?"
  30. Profile photo of cookii
    cookii Female 18-29
    1299 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 10:20 am
    "Do you think Diana is dead? Or have you seen her in Morocco"
  31. Profile photo of argon8
    argon8 Male 18-29
    60 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 10:41 am
    "call now: 0900 0000 0000. If not, call 0900 0000 0000"

    If the headline is the only thing that`s retarded in this picture, I`m the king of Siam.

  32. Profile photo of cman7721
    cman7721 Male 18-29
    618 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 10:47 am
    how can it be "exclusive" to ALL newspapers?
  33. Profile photo of urbanlegend
    urbanlegend Male 18-29
    741 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 11:29 am
    sup 1997
  34. Profile photo of ferdyfred
    ferdyfred Male 40-49
    13600 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 11:40 am
    Its a headline from `Punch` magazine, its been going since the ice age, it parodies everything and anyone
  35. Profile photo of Stane
    Stane Male 18-29
    316 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 12:08 pm
    It`s a joke, obviously. :D
  36. Profile photo of Litheran
    Litheran Male 18-29
    51 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 12:17 pm
    Rofl @ ppl who dont understand that this is a joke.
  37. Profile photo of durdikkimeng
    durdikkimeng Male 50-59
    743 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 1:30 pm
    Well,I`ve been looking at this for hours now.
    I`ve done some research.I think that its true.
    She WAS alive for several hours before she died.
    Cover that up you bastards!
  38. Profile photo of send55
    send55 Male 13-17
    318 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 1:40 pm
    of coruse hes alive befor she died
  39. Profile photo of BunnyNaku
    BunnyNaku Female 18-29
    5224 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 2:11 pm
    really?!?!? OMG!! :p
  40. Profile photo of darkgear6
    darkgear6 Male 70 & Over
    1378 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 2:15 pm
    is this OLLLD?
  41. Profile photo of Zeroknight92
    Zeroknight92 Male 18-29
    77 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 2:16 pm
    Omg?? How was she alive before she died? Is this a joke?
  42. Profile photo of Notyourday
    Notyourday Male 18-29
    85 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 2:27 pm
    Whats that at the bottem? "DO you think diana is dead or have you seen her in moroco?"
  43. Profile photo of iluvpink13
    iluvpink13 Female 18-29
    1414 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 2:34 pm
    this is badass. like so awesome, i cant even describe it.
  44. Profile photo of danthew
    danthew Male 18-29
    2122 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 3:09 pm
    Just as funny, above the headline "Exclusive to all newspapers" HTF is tht exclusive? What, they didn`t tell the radio stations??
  45. Profile photo of vicious_liar
    vicious_liar Male 13-17
    1226 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 3:40 pm
    Wait....it still doesn`t add up...Alive, before dead. Alive, before she was dead. I just don`t get it. Alive....Before dead...
    ...
    *headache*
  46. Profile photo of TKD_Master
    TKD_Master Male 18-29
    4794 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 3:48 pm
    thats physically impossible, i call fake.
  47. Profile photo of ImmortalZach
    ImmortalZach Male 13-17
    438 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 4:02 pm
    CCTV knows all!
  48. Profile photo of Dfaulted
    Dfaulted Male 13-17
    1920 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 4:04 pm
    No sh*t Shurlock.
  49. Profile photo of ninjabot
    ninjabot Male 13-17
    241 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 4:05 pm
    wtf how is that possible!!!!!!!!!! its like alive but not dead
  50. Profile photo of Renamon
    Renamon Female 13-17
    88 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 4:09 pm
    how could someone be alive before they were dead?michael jackson was dead before he was dead,so was farrah faucet and billy mays......
  51. Profile photo of Hayllee
    Hayllee Female 13-17
    459 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 4:19 pm
    What`s even more awsome is the summary.

    "A series of previously unseen CCTV images have revealed that Diana was alive and well before she was tragically killed in Paris 10 years ago."

  52. Profile photo of Lionhart2
    Lionhart2 Male 40-49
    8309 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 5:58 pm
    Weird sheet like that happens all the time! Out of the millions of days I COULD have been born on, if I had been born just 97 days later, I would have shared my birthday with She Who Must Be Obeyed. How freaky is that!?
  53. Profile photo of Lionhart2
    Lionhart2 Male 40-49
    8309 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 5:58 pm
    Have you ever heard of the freaky Coincidence Man?
    There was a man from Perth
    Who was born on THE DAY OF HIS BIRTH!
    He was married, they say
    On HIS WIFE`S WEDDING DAY!
    And died THE DAY HE DEPARTED THE EARTH!

    Spooky huh?

  54. Profile photo of rockcabbage
    rockcabbage Male 18-29
    394 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 6:48 pm
    i was dead a few hours before i died O.o im fine now, though
  55. Profile photo of bleedingwolf
    bleedingwolf Male 18-29
    61 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 7:37 pm
    "Its a headline from `Punch` magazine, its been going since the ice age, it parodies everything and anyone"

    Punch stopped circulation in 2002, think you may mean Private Eye, which it is, as has been said by countless people

  56. Profile photo of shunpo_31
    shunpo_31 Male 18-29
    1381 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 7:37 pm
    stay in school, kids.
  57. Profile photo of boone
    boone Male 18-29
    121 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 8:13 pm
    Lionhart,you`re 97 days older than Oprah?
  58. Profile photo of xoTreesha
    xoTreesha Female 13-17
    77 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 8:21 pm
    Obviously, they didn`t think this through. or they just gave up & were like "Oh, just put that in. It works." :|
  59. Profile photo of unintrasting
    unintrasting Female 18-29
    1121 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 8:41 pm
    The headlines here have all the word backwards and you have to encrypt it to figure out what they mean.
  60. Profile photo of sking7
    sking7 Male 30-39
    117 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 9:04 pm
    That smells like a fresh pile Fox News would leave behind.
  61. Profile photo of neveryours
    neveryours Female 13-17
    1269 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 9:32 pm
    doodz i have this terminal disease...i had it ever since i was born and from that moment my body started diteriorating (sp motherdraters?) so i`ll be alive approx. 85 years and then i`ll die :[
  62. Profile photo of WRNKLDTITFUZ
    WRNKLDTITFUZ Male 18-29
    314 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 9:44 pm
    things like this make me feel smart
  63. Profile photo of Lil_Viv
    Lil_Viv Female 13-17
    91 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 10:21 pm
    um... how old.. nvm these ppl idiots yet thats wat makes it funny!

    Its wat makes evrything funi!!! :D

  64. Profile photo of rexiebun
    rexiebun Female 18-29
    121 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 11:11 pm
    the "exclusive to all newspapers" was a nice touch.
  65. Profile photo of Heatherface
    Heatherface Female 18-29
    28 posts
    July 10, 2009 at 11:12 pm
    neveryours, you have Imminent Death Syndrome too?
  66. Profile photo of Cajun247
    Cajun247 Male 18-29
    10722 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 1:12 am
    REALLY!?!
  67. Profile photo of Sweet_Tooth
    Sweet_Tooth Male 18-29
    308 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 1:17 am
    Oh c`mon! How many people here haven`t seen this at least twice in the past?
  68. Profile photo of Dogboy76
    Dogboy76 Male 30-39
    156 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 2:59 am
    It`s Private Eye. You can tell by the cont`d p94.
  69. Profile photo of Mindless2164
    Mindless2164 Male 18-29
    499 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 6:11 am
    BREAKING NEWS:

    It turns out she actually WAS dead before she died.

  70. Profile photo of LordNick
    LordNick Male 18-29
    284 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 6:25 am
    LMAO
  71. Profile photo of partyyyy
    partyyyy Male 18-29
    148 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 6:37 am
    she was only a c**t
  72. Profile photo of Noodlez
    Noodlez Male 13-17
    132 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 6:58 am
    OLD
  73. Profile photo of Max_Normal
    Max_Normal Male 30-39
    501 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 7:52 am
    Bet you never though you had much in common with her before Partyyyy?

    And this is fake, like Dogboy says its from Private Eye, (Mercans, its what we have instead of "The Onion" here in Yoorp).

  74. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7936 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 10:05 am
    so they go to journalism school for this?
  75. Profile photo of gramatic
    gramatic Male 18-29
    60 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 12:58 pm
    they should of just sadi "DIANA DIED MOMENTS AFTER SHE WAS ALIVE"
  76. Profile photo of BoomBox
    BoomBox Male 13-17
    1232 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 1:13 pm
    This confused me...
  77. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11742 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 1:20 pm
    I had no idea!!!
  78. Profile photo of krazyluv
    krazyluv Female 13-17
    650 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 1:20 pm
    this is from one of those fake magazines. its funny. but crap.
  79. Profile photo of aram200
    aram200 Male 13-17
    257 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 2:24 pm
    these type of pictures are waaaaay to old
  80. Profile photo of theracaffe
    theracaffe Male 13-17
    49 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 3:45 pm
    Ahahaha, I know this is fake but what fake newspaper is it from? Does The Onion make newspapers?
  81. Profile photo of amped35
    amped35 Male 13-17
    255 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 8:40 pm
    orly?
  82. Profile photo of PacoP42
    PacoP42 Male 13-17
    1064 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 8:41 pm
    wtf is the name of that newspaper? is this that one "BATBOY LIVES" one?
  83. Profile photo of shizzamX
    shizzamX Female 18-29
    2697 posts
    July 11, 2009 at 9:12 pm
    omg this is so old.. /b/, gtfo my i-a-b
  84. Profile photo of Armydillo
    Armydillo Male 13-17
    138 posts
    July 12, 2009 at 9:53 am
    The Onion makes newspapers, but this isn`t The Onion.
  85. Profile photo of GRadde
    GRadde Male 18-29
    2556 posts
    July 13, 2009 at 6:54 am
    No words needed.
  86. Profile photo of idiotfilter
    idiotfilter Male 18-29
    3916 posts
    July 13, 2009 at 8:49 pm
    this seems like the bigfoot married sea monster newspaper...
  87. Profile photo of Austiep
    Austiep Male 13-17
    101 posts
    July 17, 2009 at 9:01 am
    Shizzam /b/ is up in your I-a-b, Spreading the lulz
    and if youve seen her cal 0900-000-0000; if not call 0900-000-0000
  88. Profile photo of Jinabz
    Jinabz Female 13-17
    14 posts
    July 23, 2009 at 8:22 pm
    LAMO
  89. Profile photo of ravenclaw94
    ravenclaw94 Female 13-17
    135 posts
    September 21, 2009 at 2:28 pm
    HAhahah omg...

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