Most Retarded Headline of the Day, #8 [Pic]

Submitted by: fancylad 7 years ago Misc

So let me get this straight... she was alive? Before she died?
There are 90 comments:
Female 135
HAhahah omg...
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Female 14
LAMO
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Male 101
Shizzam /b/ is up in your I-a-b, Spreading the lulz
and if youve seen her cal 0900-000-0000; if not call 0900-000-0000
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Male 3,915
this seems like the bigfoot married sea monster newspaper...
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Male 2,553
No words needed.
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Male 138
The Onion makes newspapers, but this isn`t The Onion.
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Female 2,695
omg this is so old.. /b/, gtfo my i-a-b
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Male 1,064
wtf is the name of that newspaper? is this that one "BATBOY LIVES" one?
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Male 255
orly?
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Male 49
Ahahaha, I know this is fake but what fake newspaper is it from? Does The Onion make newspapers?
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Male 257
these type of pictures are waaaaay to old
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Female 650
this is from one of those fake magazines. its funny. but crap.
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Male 11,740
I had no idea!!!
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Male 1,232
This confused me...
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Male 5,190
I normally don`t do this but...

OLD! :|

Comon.

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Male 60
they should of just sadi "DIANA DIED MOMENTS AFTER SHE WAS ALIVE"
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Male 7,933
so they go to journalism school for this?
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Male 500
Bet you never though you had much in common with her before Partyyyy?

And this is fake, like Dogboy says its from Private Eye, (Mercans, its what we have instead of "The Onion" here in Yoorp).

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Male 132
OLD
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Male 148
she was only a c**t
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Male 283
LMAO
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Male 499
BREAKING NEWS:

It turns out she actually WAS dead before she died.

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Male 156
It`s Private Eye. You can tell by the cont`d p94.
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Male 308
Oh c`mon! How many people here haven`t seen this at least twice in the past?
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Male 10,845
REALLY!?!
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Female 28
neveryours, you have Imminent Death Syndrome too?
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Female 121
the "exclusive to all newspapers" was a nice touch.
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Female 91
um... how old.. nvm these ppl idiots yet thats wat makes it funny!

Its wat makes evrything funi!!! :D

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Male 313
things like this make me feel smart
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Female 1,269
doodz i have this terminal disease...i had it ever since i was born and from that moment my body started diteriorating (sp motherdraters?) so i`ll be alive approx. 85 years and then i`ll die :[
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Male 117
That smells like a fresh pile Fox News would leave behind.
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Female 1,120
The headlines here have all the word backwards and you have to encrypt it to figure out what they mean.
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Female 77
Obviously, they didn`t think this through. or they just gave up & were like "Oh, just put that in. It works." :|
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Male 121
Lionhart,you`re 97 days older than Oprah?
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Male 1,381
stay in school, kids.
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Male 61
"Its a headline from `Punch` magazine, its been going since the ice age, it parodies everything and anyone"

Punch stopped circulation in 2002, think you may mean Private Eye, which it is, as has been said by countless people

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Male 394
i was dead a few hours before i died O.o im fine now, though
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Male 8,302
Have you ever heard of the freaky Coincidence Man?
There was a man from Perth
Who was born on THE DAY OF HIS BIRTH!
He was married, they say
On HIS WIFE`S WEDDING DAY!
And died THE DAY HE DEPARTED THE EARTH!

Spooky huh?

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Male 8,302
Weird sheet like that happens all the time! Out of the millions of days I COULD have been born on, if I had been born just 97 days later, I would have shared my birthday with She Who Must Be Obeyed. How freaky is that!?
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Female 459
What`s even more awsome is the summary.

"A series of previously unseen CCTV images have revealed that Diana was alive and well before she was tragically killed in Paris 10 years ago."

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Female 87
how could someone be alive before they were dead?michael jackson was dead before he was dead,so was farrah faucet and billy mays......
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Male 240
wtf how is that possible!!!!!!!!!! its like alive but not dead
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Male 1,918
No sh*t Shurlock.
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Male 438
CCTV knows all!
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Male 4,793
thats physically impossible, i call fake.
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Male 1,226
Wait....it still doesn`t add up...Alive, before dead. Alive, before she was dead. I just don`t get it. Alive....Before dead...
...
*headache*
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Male 2,121
Just as funny, above the headline "Exclusive to all newspapers" HTF is tht exclusive? What, they didn`t tell the radio stations??
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Female 1,413
this is badass. like so awesome, i cant even describe it.
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Male 85
Whats that at the bottem? "DO you think diana is dead or have you seen her in moroco?"
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Male 76
Omg?? How was she alive before she died? Is this a joke?
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Male 1,378
is this OLLLD?
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Female 5,222
really?!?!? OMG!! :p
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Male 318
of coruse hes alive befor she died
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Male 754
Well,I`ve been looking at this for hours now.
I`ve done some research.I think that its true.
She WAS alive for several hours before she died.
Cover that up you bastards!
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Male 51
Rofl @ ppl who dont understand that this is a joke.
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Male 316
It`s a joke, obviously. :D
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Male 13,624
Its a headline from `Punch` magazine, its been going since the ice age, it parodies everything and anyone
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Male 740
sup 1997
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Male 617
how can it be "exclusive" to ALL newspapers?
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Male 60
"call now: 0900 0000 0000. If not, call 0900 0000 0000"

If the headline is the only thing that`s retarded in this picture, I`m the king of Siam.

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Female 1,299
"Do you think Diana is dead? Or have you seen her in Morocco"
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Female 9,402
I love it when it says, "Do you think Diana is dead?"
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Male 3,578
That`s right up there with the video someone posted about Michael Jackson being alive for he died in the hospital
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Female 15,763
Captain Obvious STRIKES AGAIN!
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Male 185
Exclusive to all newspapers! LOL
Died 10 years ago! (12-13 years - meh)
Have you seen her in Morocco! ROFL
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Male 322
"Friday, July 10, 2009 7:55:12 AM
am i the only one who noticed that it says `exclusive to all newspapers` at the top?"

Um no. And the funny thing is, you asked this assuming no one noticed, without checking the comments to see. And then you would`ve noticed that we DID notice.

Notice the number of times I used `notice`. Holy crap, what the hell is wrong with my English and posting ability today? :P

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Male 953
Yeah and I haven`t Slept since I Woke up either.
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Female 335
soooo olddd
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Male 4,290
It`s not The Onion, it`s Private Eye. It`s a similar style of satirical humour to The Onion, but it`s been around far longer.

Page 94 is a long-standing in-joke. It doesn`t exist, and hundreds of articles are apparently "continued" there. Often the "(cont. p.94)" will appear just as the sentence seems like it is leading up to an important piece of information, such as in this example where they are parodying the phone-in scandal, as well as the sensationalist media stirring up loads of crap about Diana with "shocking new information" stories which actually contained nothing at all of interest.

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Male 180
Hehe, this isn`t a real article, it may as well be from The Onion.
Still, funny stuff.

3*

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Male 3,425
I think you`re right madrain, looks like Private Eye to me. Either that, or b4byf4c3 is right, either way, no newspaper can be that retarded.
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Male 4
lol this is actually not as retarded as it may seem. it is aimed at all the conspiracy theorists who think that she was killed b4 the crash and that the crash was a cover-up. lol
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Female 169
Huh. I understood it as `Diana was still alive after the crash`.
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Male 245
"Call now! Calls cost (cont. p .94)"
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Male 107
am i the only one who noticed that it says `exclusive to all newspapers` at the top?
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Female 52
Looks like Private Eye to me, a British satirical magazine. They love to lock the Tabloids, which publish(ed)loads of ridiculous stories like this.
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Male 817
This is like all those reports about Michael Jackson last week.

"Doctors say that Jackson had pulse before he died!"

*GASP* NO! You don`t say?

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Male 4,867
i`m crying....
must be onion
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Female 311
LOL have you seen her in Morocco? call now.
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Female 420
i agree, probably The Onion. Or the Express have run out of Diana stories at last.
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Male 2,552
I smell onion...
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Male 3,314
Was it me, or was the phone number at the bottom the funniest part? Seen her, call 0900 000 0000. Haven`t seen her. Call 0900 000 0000.
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Male 1,164
susan i hope you like banhammers coz they are gonna be smashing down on your spam-filled account pretty soon
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Male 188
MOD?
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Male 175
It`s not a mistake, it`s a joke. One thing that tips me off about it is the fact that it says above the headline "Exclusive To All Newspapers." And then the number they give you to call if you`ve seen her not only sounds like a fake number, but they say to call if you haven`t seen her, and it`s the same number.

I wouldn`t be surprised if this is from the print edition of The Onion.

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Male 820
Everything I know is a lie.
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Male 101
And the first sentence of the article isn`t any less retarded.
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Male 237
you should change this to most retarded pointless post of the day.
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Male 814
Call 0900 000 0000. Minimal reading skills and hand-eye co-ordination required.
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Male 19,854
Link: Most Retarded Headline of the Day, #8 [Pic] [Rate Link] - So let me get this straight... she was alive? Before she died?
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