Boys Night Out Application Form

Submitted by: Nic_Gaybot 8 years ago in Funny

Girls will want to print this permission slip out.
There are 121 comments:
Male 16
What drating no balls pussy, would ever fill this out?
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Male 1,361
I know that all women don`t think this way but i pity the men of those that do
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Male 848
I had something like that a year ago.
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Male 59
It`s funny because it`s sexist!

No, actually it`s just sexist because it`s sexist, it`s not so funny.

Just remember, it`s *women* that are still somehow oppressed despite having significantly more rights than men in most of the first world, as well as having popular culture and media heavily biased in their favor.

...Yeah, right.

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Male 1,284

i dont like weak woman so i never have this kind of problem
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Female 244
"wimen shouldnt have any say in what men do
bible says men are over women"

There`s a HUGE difference in what the Bible says and what you`re reporting it as- you`re basically saying it`s in the Bible to be sexist- Which it isn`t. Anyway, I don`t really know how now a days we can follow EVERY rule in the Bible. The times are different, and most Christians aren`t like Christians way back when. The Bible has plenty of "rules" that aren`t even followed nowadays, even by the most devout of Christians.

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Female 4
wimen shouldnt have any say in what men do
bible says men are over women

ya and it also says we are all created equal

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Female 917
"wimen shouldnt have any say in what men do
bible says men are over women"

Mmhm. Good luck with your future relationships! I just KNOW girls are falling all over you with your infinite wisdom

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Male 123
msieg007, dont forget the quick right backhand. I hear thats very effective.
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Male 315
Me and my GF are a lot alike.
She doesn`t like me to go out with "The boys" because I always end up trying to kill someone.
I don`t like her to go out with "The girls" because she always ends up trying to kill someone.
Whenever we go out as a couple, we try to kill someone.

So, we decided to not go out with our idiot friends and have sex in the nearest public bathroom whenever we get the urge to kill someone.

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Female 157
"Limiting fake headaches to less than 4 a month." Lol.
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Male 2,034
Bitch please.
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Female 291
:) haha
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Male 721
http://wilk4.com/humor/img/girlsnightout...

^^^ Girls night out application form

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Female 420
I do actually know some girls that wouldn`t take this as a joke - more like advice.

Me and the boyfriend go out together anyway, more fun like that.

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Male 255
google "girls night out application"

wayyy funnier.

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Male 1,685
this is how I imagine girls to really think.
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Male 2,552
Durr-durr-durr... not that funny.
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Male 12,138
vv s0rd3dvis1on, your second suggestion is a good one. A SWAT team was dispatched some time ago to neutralise the target. Expect to hear a local news story of an unidentified body with broken teeth and fingertips cut off found at the bottom of a disused quarry in the coming weeks.
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Male 2,388
to the mods i know this spammer is probably changing IP but couldn`t you block mac address or better yet track them down and destroy them
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Male 71
If your wife/girlfriend/finance think this is a good idea then chances are they are crazy! Dump that bunny boiler and run!!!
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Female 106
repost?
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Male 2,591
dumb and not even funny. the work of some jealous female. girl you know we`re all going to the strip club tonight, you work there.
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Male 101
lmao

@ sapnakaur133 for the love of god stop spamming us!!!!!!!!!!!

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Male 5,094
The first time I ever went to a strip club was because my ex-girlfriend dragged me there with the reasoning that it was the only thing open after 5am that still served beer. I miss her.
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Male 467
@ SpoonFork >> In the same way you use the "mens" room?
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Female 20
um i dont think any guy or girl should have to ask permshion to go hang with mates.
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Male 8,302
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

.
.
.

Nothing, you`ve already told her twice.

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Male 2,332
"Get off your high horse"

No, I like it here.

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Female 349
All my boyfriend`s mates think I`m awesome, cos I had no problem with him going to a strip club, lol.
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Male 1,265
I bet most of the "males" on IAB use this already.
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Male 2,388
the amount allowed top drink does not say what unit of measurement should be used plus isnt this really just an unspoken agreement anyway?
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Male 1,002
Also known as: the most passive-aggressive way you can possibly dump your boyfriend. Well, that is, unless he`s just a total boot-licking toady.
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Male 17,512
Alright, You wimmen folk want it that way fine. Then us men need to start printing permission slips of our own. Including but not limited to, Limiting what you say about us to your GF`s, The amount you spend on shopping trips, and limiting fake headaches to less than 4 a month.
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Female 30
I know someone that would fill it out with a smile..
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Male 438
It`s all fun and games till someone actually prints this.
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Female 7
Ohsnap, I`d never make my boyfriend go through this! ><
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Male 150
controlling much??? lmao.
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Female 779
Sounds like something my friends girlfriend would do... she`s got him SOOO whipped! :(
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Female 267
tobiyaki said it best: "It`s a joke people, don`t have a cow. :P"

Nuff said.

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Male 1,265
I really hope happydragon is a troll.
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Male 12,365
Mark 7:18 by itself would make homosexual sex OK too :)
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Male 12,365
"oh man, you havnt got involved in a religious debate over this have you?? jeez..."

Primetimekin and myself are being civilised about it.

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Female 960
Any guy who has a girlfriend like this should shoot the stupid, possessive whore.
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Male 7,933
for 20:13 the morality of it is kept, but the whole stone to death, judicial, isnt.

And from my limited knowledge of 20:25, In Mark 7:18, Jesus removes dietary regulations. But im not too familiar with that line

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Male 9
oh yeah, whats up with all the IABers up their own bum? I especially hate the phrase "I`ve officially lost all hope in humanity" etc. Get off your high horse you make me give up on humanity! oops:) There are quite alot of witty ppl on here, the only reason I bother coming back!
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Male 7,933
the office use only part is hilarious
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Male 12,365
Can you point me in the direction of some more detail, primetimekin? I`d like to know what the theological basis is for that ceremonial/judicial/moral split you refer to and the criteria for deciding which category any given rule fits into.

Why, for example, would Leviticus 20:13 still be applicable, but Leviticus 20:25 not be?

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Male 8,302
Overly verbose, I use a much simpler form:

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Male 13,630
*Chuckles*
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Male 9
ferdyfred - while i HATE to stick up for him big M`s ages does say 13-17 so that is in fact a four year gap itself, although after reading his post I have no reason to believe he falls within the said age group and is probably a massive pervert around the age of 40?
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Male 381
oh man, you havnt got involved in a religious debate over this have you?? jeez...
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Male 7,933
no, its not all or none. The OT can be divided into ceremonial, judicial, and moral.

Judicial/Ceremonial were meant to be temporary and thus don`t necessarily have to be followed when "Heaven and Earth Passed Away" (which doesn`t necessarily mean that they no longer exist), but moral must still be followed.

Its much more complex than all or none

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Male 13,630
MK1029 - Your 13 right? and errrr....Virginal?
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Female 236
lol I`m going to show my fiance!
I could honestly care less if he looked at a stripper! As long as he`s not giving our money away to said stripper he can stare all he wants.
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Male 12,365
That`s one argument, Primetimekin, but it isn`t definite. It could equally be argued that heaven and earth have not yet passed, given that they still exist. Well, Earth still exists and a Christian must have faith that heaven does.

Anyway, it`s a different argument and doesn`t affect my point.

Your line of theological argument leads to the conclusion that *all* the rules in the OT should be ignored by Christians.

The opposing line of theological argument (i.e. that heaven and earth have not yet passed) leads to the conclusion that *none* of the rules in the OT can be ignored by Christians.

Either way, it`s not a theological basis for following some of the rules and not others.

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Male 7,933
" Which almost every Christian picks and chooses rules from without any theological reason"

How many times do I have to bring up the whole "Until Heaven and Earth Pass" and the death of Jesus being the Heaven and Earth part freeing us from Mosaic Law...yada yada yada

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Male 2,720
oh yawn please don`t make me read that?
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Male 12,365
Vega, you have a good future as a lawyer :)
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Male 12,365
Come to think of it, does it actually say anything like that in the Christian bible? We have so many "translations" so full of bovine faeces that it`s hard to tell.

So, from a Christian point of view, what do we have?

The teachings of Jesus, the Christ. The core of Christianity, obviously. I don`t recall anything about men being over women, and it wouldn`t fit with things such as his treatment of Mary.

The old testament, the covenant with God prior to Jesus. Which almost every Christian picks and chooses rules from without any theological reason. So from a Christian point of view it doesn`t really matter what it says in there, because hardly any Christians pay any real attention to it.

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Male 358
This is going to my girlfriend
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Male 12,365
"wimen shouldnt have any say in what men do
bible says men are over women"

And other silly bigots say women are over men. That`s a more fashionable irrational prejudice nowadays.

I`d like to send all such people somewhere else. A convenient wormhole to another planet would be nice. Together, of course, so they can kill each other or become sane.

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Female 394
Personally, I like to take turns on the leash it`s more fun that way ;)
It`s funny but I feel bad because you know some girl out there actually uses this thing lol.
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Male 467
"Ha-Ha-Ha" Now honey, go back to the kitchen.
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Male 12,365
"It`s a joke people. Don`t have a cow. :P"

A great deal of irrational prejudice is said to be a joke. It boils down to "<insert group here> is <insert negative stereotypes here>, hahahahaha". Each one is considered funny by people who agree with the stereotypes.

"I bet if it was the other way around most of the people complaining would be laughing."

I bet you`d lose money on that bet, for the simple reason that antimale sexism is socially acceptable in "the west" and antifemale sexism isn`t. So hypocrisy is more common with antimale sexism than with antifemale sexism.

But this particular joke is much less bad than many.

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Male 838
lol of course this isn`t meant to be taken literally. Go out and buy a sense of humor, folks. They`re cheap, I promise. I thought it was pretty doggone funny. My girlfriend agrees with belunan. Says it`d save time.
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Male 1,505
Woah! There`s a form? Kickass! I usually just get the oral version. This will save me a hell of a lot of time!
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Male 353
I know this is a joke but for some reason right now I just feel a tad bit disgusted. Why does society seem like it`s OK to put a leash on a guy but women can have free reign? What if there was a "joke" with a guy giving his girl a permission slip? how would that be taken?
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Male 7,933
I`m going to need copies of both the Boys Night Out and the Butthurt Report Form.

"waaah, waah waah its sexist!"
Shut up and go back in the kitchen

*runs away very very fast/far and hides under the closest rock for the next 2-3 years*

"I bet if it was the other way around most of the people complaining would be laughing."

there was one for the female, basically said
"Im going out
Signature"

it was hilarious

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Male 214
the stripper clause is dumb
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Male 1,111
good idea Vega easy way out lol.

If a girl ever had a thought of giving this to me in a relationship, it`d be over before the printer finished lol

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Male 276
"wimen shouldnt have any say in what men do
bible says men are over women"
religous--supported sexism ftw?
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Female 2
It`s a joke people. Don`t have a cow. :P

I bet if it was the other way around most of the people complaining would be laughing.

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Female 275
I find this absolutely retarded and sexist in every capacity of the term.

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Male 28
haven`t any of you considered exploiting this contract, it`s great if you ask me. if anything goes wrong, default on stripper clause, and you have instant termination of liabilities. I would sign it.
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Female 140
Ha! There should be a law that these have to be signed...
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Male 14
wimen shouldnt have any say in what men do
bible says men are over women
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Male 10,855
<parent>
deny form;
shred form;
</parent>
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Female 650
to everyone taking this too seriously:

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Female 1,436
Lol I`ve seen this before! This always makes me laugh. XD

Pel: Agreed!

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Male 3,819
LOL the one for girls is definitely a lot funnier.
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Male 196
@osirisascend

Yeah, probably not.

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Male 4,745
Showing me that contract is grounds for the termination of the relationship.
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Male 2,748
wow, i think that if a girl pulled this out on me, she wouldnt be my girl for long after
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Male 3,058
DIETY and MK1029: Your statements are why neither of you will ever get laid unless you use alcohol, roofies, or force.

Side note to MK1029: After posting that, do you really think anyone here believes that you have a girlfriend?

*cough* VIRGIN *cough*

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Female 267
Okay, I`m just going to stop visiting Izismile from now on since whatever shows up there, appears here within hours.
I`m bound more to IAB since I`ve been lurking here for years and Izismile is so new. But seriously, even with all the copying and pasting regularily done on the net it`s the fact that what`s been posted here on IAB in terms of the same stuff posted daily elsewhere on down to all these old `net posts that turns me off. IAB used to be the place to come and see exclusive material if not the more rare material on the net. I`m complaining because I hate to see it degraded to the point it is now.

I`ll try and help upload more content and contribute. But if IAB is to remain popular, the regulars need to share content they find that`s entertaining but not found on every single site we surf to in our efforts to find content. Seriously, it`s just cheap otherwise.

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Female 917
"I would rather kill my wife, then have sex with her unconscious body then have to fill that out every time I wanted to go out. "

After you kill her, you have sex with her UNCONSCIOUS body?

Okay then.

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Male 2,506
Haha, this is funny, I mean i could see my girl using it on me.
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Female 290
I adore this! XD
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Male 689
oh man, this reminds me of that girl from the hangover
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Female 322
OB is right. Look don`t touch, no wasting money in g-strings (but go ahead and drink) and come home - other than that, have fun. There you go.
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Female 15,763
Man... this gives all girls a bad name. :\ I swear there are some good and noncontrolling ones out there... it also all depends on the relationship. Openness in a relationship comes in degrees.
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Female 723
Wow...Diety. I know some males who are this overprotective as well. Seriously?
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Male 228
This is kinda funny, but seriously, whether you`re a guy or a girl, you have to give your significant other some freedom.
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Male 1,129
id only agree to this if i was guarenteed a night of raunchy ass sex when i got home to releave all the sexual tension i will inevitably build up not being able to flirt with other bitches
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Female 4,197
lol Lindsy, nice
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Male 196
And they wonder why we beat them.
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Female 1,231
Eh, it`s kind of funny, but it takes itself too seriously.
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Male 1,452
[quote] I showed this to my wife, she told me to shut my bitch-ass mouth and do the dishes. [/quote]

:whip crack sound:

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Male 37
If a my girl friend made me use this i`d beat her, chain her to the kitchen, rape her, drat her friend, dump her publically in the most embarrassing fashion, and get the next hottest most awesome girlfriend to show her.
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Female 2,695
nah.
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Female 82
Hahahah!
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Male 383
dumb. just plain dumb.
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Male 307
I showed this to my wife, she told me to shut my bitch-ass mouth and do the dishes.
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Female 1,545
I...don`t think I like this! :(

Women and men are equal beings and should be treated with equal respect. People who make these stupid "applications" are playing off of stupid stereotypes.

I don`t know any sane woman who would use this form, and it`s not really that funny.

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Male 5,189
xD! Lol!
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Female 7
Lindsy, that is awesome.
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Female 282
i like the girls one
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Male 161
Ste08 is right. But with a slap she also get`s to make me a sandwich.
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Male 103
I would rather kill my wife, then have sex with her unconscious body then have to fill that out every time I wanted to go out.
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Female 50
Have you seen the girls application... click on link and scroll down ;) http://wiresmash.com/funny/application-f...
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Female 528
Sounds like a friend of mine that I am now no longer allowed to see because of his girlfriend. Crazy lady!
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Female 4,197
lol so clever. Although, this is pretty much what my bf does when he goes out anyway. I TELL him to stay out late and he comes home at midnight and proceeds to drunkenly wake me and tell me all about his night :/
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Male 97
some bitch is getting slapped
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Male 3,819
Yeah, RIGHT.
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Female 470
kairobert: I think it`s a guy. Sarcasm be`s thick within these paragraphs.
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Female 9,558
Ahahahahahahahahahaha, I getting a few printed out.
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Male 1,623
I`m having trouble deciding whether a male or a female wrote this.
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Male 63
Women: Ruining the lives of men everywhere. Tell your friends.
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Male 243
lol
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Female 230
Link: Boys Night Out Application Form [Rate Link] - Girls will want to print this permission slip out.
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