Your Business Card Is CRAP!

Submitted by: geckosrock 8 years ago in Funny

Batpoo crazy guy (we"re assuming) goes off on your crappy business card and names his business card the greatest ever.
There are 98 comments:
Male 5
Today, a wide variety of businesses are exercising standard business cards printing including corporate sectors, business tycoons, NGOs, sports industries, IT solution companies, film industries, fashion companies and many more.
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Male 2,788
It took him 25 years to make a card with his face cut out, words embossed, and a simple pop-up?

That guy must work sloooww..

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Male 29
that guy is a dick!
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Male 2,748
I agree with astridhaze, this reminds me of American Psycho (the movie) with Christen Bale, they`re all going on about their cards and what not, and i couldn`t even tell the difference... Rich people are crazy
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Male 4,680
I heard this guy went on the apprentice and won the whole series in one episode.
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Female 4,028
Careful, dude. People may start to think you`re narcissistic...
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Male 1,108
meetredmeat: Remind me to give you a call the next time I go out to a comedy club. You`ll be able to tell me when to laugh. I need someone half my age to tell me what`s funny these days. What do you call a metal leg joint? No? Iron Knee. Just pointing that out because you missed it the last time.
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Male 181
I love how the music starts when he pulls out his "holy card of awesomeness."
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Male 516
Man, this creepy narcissistic dude just gave me a business card with his face on it. Crap, it doesn`t even fit in my wallet. Oh well, in the trash then.

What a waste. And I mean the guy, not the card.

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Male 734
People who are desperate for business have business cards. People who are effective never use them.
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Male 101
You can argue about him being a douche bag...but you can`t say that`s not a badass business card.
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Male 3,915
what do you do? guaranteed?
...not make a fool of myself in an internet video talking about the effectiveness of business cards...
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Male 274
hes a douchebag but he has a point
if you gonna do a business card and you want ppl to keep it and for it to be a strong instrument on you work youve gotta make it nice...
dont go cheap on it... go for class and style

but my opnion on his card is that it sux
i would go for a more classic kind of card

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Male 161
lol I was just thinking about a business card company. I bet he works for them.
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Male 4,745
Typical promotions guy.

To be honest though, would you want your event promoted by a guy with a plain card or a guy with a cool pop out card. If he can promote himself that well, he may be equally as good at promoting you. Granted the guy is a putz and after meeting him, I may change my mind, but the I think he`s right about the card.

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Male 2,576
meetredmeat : What makes you say it`s a comedy video? Yes it`s funny, because the guy takes himself more seriously than he should, but does that eman this isn`t - HOLLY poo THE SUN IS OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS WEEK! - I`m out of here.
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Male 10,440
"The card doesn`t belong in a rolodex"... I guess it doesn`t. Its unworthy of it.

...I thank you for intentionally humiliating this guy in front of us, especially after we saw that one business card a while back that turns into a catapult.

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Female 124
"The guy in the video is crap. That card took him 25 years to design because he`s an idiot. $4 a card? Even Bill Gates would laugh at that. No one in their right mind would spend $4 per business card. People (with sense) won`t be impressed by a $4 card. They`ll care about the person behind it and what they do.

This guy just makes himself look like a total douchebag. I don`t think people will pay him for that service. "
"What do I do that`s guaranteed? I facepalm you for being a total cretin and whining on about something as trivial as a business card. 20 years for a one page pop up book telling me how great he is. I flushed his business card down the toilet this morning. Well it looked like him anyway."
Guys! Have you considered the fact that this is a COMEDY video? XD idiots

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Male 759
What a dickhead
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Male 1,108
What do I do that`s guaranteed? I facepalm you for being a total cretin and whining on about something as trivial as a business card. 20 years for a one page pop up book telling me how great he is. I flushed his business card down the toilet this morning. Well it looked like him anyway.
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Male 11,739
The guy in the video is crap. That card took him 25 years to design because he`s an idiot. $4 a card? Even Bill Gates would laugh at that. No one in their right mind would spend $4 per business card. People (with sense) won`t be impressed by a $4 card. They`ll care about the person behind it and what they do.

This guy just makes himself look like a total douchebag. I don`t think people will pay him for that service.

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Male 70
I`d rather be liked...
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Male 1,140
for some reason i like this guy
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Female 738
He sounds like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho... you know, the part in the book where he rants for 4 pages about crappy business cards?

It`s about 40 pages before he stabs someone for the first time.

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Male 1,894
haha, what a dbag.

if it doesn`t fit in the rolladex of someone more important than you, then it is trash.

It took 20 years to design, because you SUCK.

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Male 666
Yes he builds crowds of people that want to kick him in the n...s.
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Male 13
Yeah, he was kind of a tit. I did sort of like his card though.
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Male 282
mene1in and Joolin... I concur wholeheartedly. That`s a brochure, not a business card. There`s a reason that if you look up "business card" there are only a couple standard sizes out there.
Die cut? Big freaking deal. $4 each? Quit wasting money and give me a good deal. You can get 100 high-quality cards for a couple bucks more.
If you spent 25 years to design a card, you are NOT getting my business. That is too much time to waste on a project to get your point across. It shows a perverse lack of decision making.

If I can`t put it in my Rolodex, it will set on my desk until it gets lost or tossed into the circle file.

Now, if you have magnets or stickers that I can put on my fridge, by all means send them on! Those are at least functional.

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Female 1,211
Could someone knock him off that high horse?
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Male 425
Reminds me of that scene in American Psycho with the business cards
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Male 438
wow, even i want to eat this guys face and i`m a vegan buddist priest...
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Female 447
Looks like it`s big enough to line up a couple rails. Looks like he already snorted them. WTF? How can he build crowds with that attitude. I think someone is thinking a little to highly of themself.
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Female 324
Can I have that card so I can destroy it please?
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Female 1,653
Well, if he`s willing to throw away his money manufacturing something that could be just as effective at half the price, let him.
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Male 134
Has to be a spoof.

Unless your job title is "Arrogant Tool", no prospective client is going to take that pop-up atrocity seriously.

it`s your job to successfully market yourself to a client. The card is simply a concise list of contact info that EASILY FITS IN A WALLET. If you`re relying upon a card to market yourself, you`re a focking failure. Go back to bed.

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Female 495
haha... i bet that ends up as nothing more than somebody`s beer mat.

Nobody will keep a business card that doesn`t fit in their wallet or rolodex (new word for me). Especially one which screams `Hey, im a pretentious prick`!

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Male 2,582
"25 years to design? At some point in his life he`ll realise that was a waste of time... and spend the next 25 years crying"
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LMAO! yea really...
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Male 452
"Youre all stupid, and Ill tell you why. He`s right."

The aim of marketing is generally to associate as certain feeling with your brand. People want to know exactly who you are, and what you represent in a couple of seconds, rather than rifiling through the card to find out. Sure, there are strategies of invoving a customer, forcing them to read information, however, this doesn`t involve irritatng them.

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Male 413
25 years to design? At some point in his life he`ll realise that was a waste of time... and spend the next 25 years crying
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Male 8,300
Further thought: Go to any trade printing convention, like PacPrint, and you`ll see 50 business cards that DO fit into your wallet and are better than his. The trade term for his card is "throwaway tack".
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Male 8,300
LAME - AND F`IN F-A-I-L! I designed birthday invitations for my daughter`s 7th Birthday party that were better than that. They were embossed too, and individually hand-cut, foiled in holographic paper, and looked like a 3D model of a butterfly until you pulled the wing and the unfolded to reveal the hidden interior with all the party details. I beat you, professional 40-year expert guy! And get a haircut.
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Female 465
He`s an idiot if he pays $4 for each of his business cards. So it doesn`t fit on a Rolodex. What does he want us to do with his damn card, frame it?
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Male 895
lol, what an absolute legend.
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Male 94
WHAT A DOUCHE... i dont like people who brags and do sh*itty stuff that makes people feel lower than them.
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Male 1,604
That`s a business card I`d immediately throw in the trash without even looking at it just to make a point to the douche that handed me a over sized card.
Compensating for something?
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Male 40
I like him.
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Male 976
It`s $4 a card, yet I would still forget about it after 2 minutes. Actually I would probably be annoyed becuase of it`s size.
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Male 2,582
lol joolin
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Female 528
i want to marry him and have his babies
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Male 505
I do YOUR MOM guaranteed. Burn, you crazy card stock fool.
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Male 221
"The most impressive buisness card I`ve ever seen, it`s mine!" Well that was a surprise! Someone`s a little full of themselves!
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Male 1,002
Another thing - somewhere, there is a line between business card and brochure and this guy seems to be hellbent on finding it. Somewhere else there is another line between not being on coke and being on coke. That line is on this man`s desk and it`s quickly disappearing up his nose.
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Male 288
too bad its twice the size of my hands, I cant even put it away in my wallet.
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Male 2,582
The American Psycho scene is better because he gets so mad he has to stab a hobo.
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Male 94
Yea no...he isn`t right...you need to work within the boundaries of the recognized size...how are you going to carry around 30 of those? you can`t. i would throw it out right after cuz i couldn`t put it anywhere, u assume that he person has a wallet or pocket, that would not fit comfortably in either.
Is that a fancy non-crap embossed foil print business card in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
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Male 914
hahaha, what a douche!! mind you, he is right...but, he`s still a douche!!
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Female 895
I`M THE BAAWS!!!
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Male 2,172
You got to admit... he does have a particular talent to make a crowd gather around him.

GUARANTEED!

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Male 350
Youre all stupid, and Ill tell you why. He`s right.
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Male 1,002
After I realized that this wasn`t that one scene from American Psycho, I expected to see the words "Everything is Terrible" at the end. I am still waiting for them. Come on guys, don`t leave me hanging.
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Male 533
What does he do other than brag about his badass business card? (by the way i want one)
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Male 75
I just had to facepalm when I saw it had a popup page(kids grow out of pop-up books when they`re 6, OK?). This guy comes up with an idea on the crapper to make a mini-brochure and call it the greatest business card in the world. Definition of D-bag: him.
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Male 69
25 years to design a card???

well he shouldnt put "Efficient" on his resume now should he.

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Male 1
i wish i was that cool...
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Male 307
Why does Teen Wolf`s dad need a business card?
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Female 2,120
"This is the most impressive card I`ve ever seen. It`s mine."

I bet he`s only saying that because he lacks in...other areas.

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Female 209
yeah that card is just really inconvenient...there`d be nowhere to put it.
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Male 57
most definitely american psycho blib.
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Female 271
American Psycho?
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Male 85
Grade A, Gold Medal, Number One Head Honcho Douche of all Douchey Douchbags
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Male 10
I know it has been said already, but I am going to say it again..... This guy is such a douche. I work in the print industry and I know for a fact that most people only care about the thickness.

If you have a thicker than normal card people will listen to you because in the back of their mind they are thinking "hey, if I don`t like this guy at least I can throw his own card at him and maybe slice his neck".

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Male 376
"oh god, at first when i read the tagline i though i was gonna see someone get card crushed. haha"

Me too lol.

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Female 48
oh god, at first when i read the tagline i though i was gonna see someone get card crushed. haha
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Male 9,305
25 years to design a card...wow...someone can`t make up their mind. e_e
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Male 182
Wow, this business card doesn`t fit into my Rolodex.. I guess I will have to use the cylindrical filing cabinet instead.
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Male 354
Patrick Bateman knows better.
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Female 140
its one of those things i would get if they were handig out and just throw it in the trash either way

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Female 265
That card also doesn`t fit in a pocket or a wallet. I`m pretty sure that anybody would toss it because they have no where to put it
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Male 7,933
strathmore you say?
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Male 2,229
is that annoying?
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Male 1,788
Wow, that was so incredibly stupid. What a bag of douche.
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Male 2,229
Business card? What F*ckin` Business card? I don`t need no freekin` business card. Any business that`s worth dealing with, doesn`t need these waste of resources(time, paper, and money).
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Female 8
I`m glad that he isn`t here to be liked. He is certainly doing a good job of it! What a douche.
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Female 244
It doesn`t fit in a roladex because it doesn`t BELONG in a roladex.

Wow. 25 years? Waste of TIME.

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Male 418
As more people become aware of this douche bag, the more people will not want to do business with him no matter how nice his card is
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Male 2,388
i never watch this video again guaranteed
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Male 132
my business card is 2 sided, multicolored, logoed, and tels you what i do.

but it fits in a rolodex. i guess its crap.

what a d-bag. its not about the card. its about the result.

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Male 419
25 years. you.. are... a... DUMBASS!!! oh yeah and a d-bag
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Male 3,369
Crap...I`m bordering on the philosophical..but my point is, make up your own mind about what is important in life! I don`t think a business card is it!
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Male 914
american psycho ftw
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Male 391
this is hillarious

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Male 1,598
$4 for EACH of his cards? Sounds like he just spent a bunch of money, and now regrets it, so he`s trying to make it sound good to justify it to himself.
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Male 3,369
Guys like this live in their own little self centered world! Money and power are not the be all and end all of life!
As long as you are happy and comfterbal with your life, who give`s a crap?
We all have diffrent values so leave it at that!


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Female 15,763
I`m getting douche readings that are OFF the chart!

Yeah, it belongs in the trash can...

The catapult card.. THAT is a good card.

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Female 99
idk i think the catapult card has him beat, lmao.
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Male 2,199
yea... good luck keeping that in a pocket or wallet... i will automatically think ur a dick for making a big card that i cant put anywhere...
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Male 12,138
That card would make for about 20-25 decent roaches. Which is about all it`s good for.
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Male 979
Link: Your Business Card Is CRAP! [Rate Link] - Batpoo crazy guy (we`re assuming) goes off on your crappy business card and names his business card the greatest ever.
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