Television Thinks You`re A Gullible Idiot

Submitted by: Wazpoppin9 7 years ago Entertainment

Well, at least "CSI: NY" does. Check out their questionable hi-tech equipment...
There are 114 comments:
Male 255
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Male 240
That was enragingly stupid.
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Male 10
i don`t mind CSI NY or Vegas that much, but Miami is just ridiculous. Horatio has a one liner for every damn scene -- at least in NY and Vegas they solve cases with "science", Horatio solves cases by showing people a sliver of evidence and they crack and confesses.
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Male 220
Love this show.
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Female 35
and i only thought satellites did that xD
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Female 4,376
These kind of shows are entertaining to watch but completely unreal. It is crap like this that makes people say OMG I WANNA WORK IN CRIMINAL JUSTICE IT LOOK LIKE FUN and then they realize that you send hours upon hours upon hours identifying tiny little samples of things using technology that can take days to give you a result.
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Female 129
I love it how the original footage was blurry and the closer you get the higher deff it is!?!
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Male 3,255
Yea, like some security camera feed is gonna be that high def.
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Male 1
Ha, instantly reminded me of this spoof from a 2009 episode of Red Dwarf - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUFkb0d1kbU
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Male 516
"The resolution isn`t that good..."

Are you kidding me? You just hit the mouse button twice and got a perfect close up of the woman`s eye, able to see the reflection almost clearly as a mirror. I want whatever technology they have in CSI World because you wouldn`t need any kind of experience, everything works perfectly the first time around, and quickly.

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Male 897
wow, 5 page flame war
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Male 897
what, they also did this with like a mirror on a car.... XD
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Male 3,296
"i hate csi ny.
i mean seriously, is it possible to magnify an image by 100 and to not see a couple of squares?"

you fool they obviously have HD technology..

go throw yourself infront of a moving train. that is all!

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Male 3,296
omg thats network tv for ya
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Female 298
nunujean!
i know! that pisses me off beyond belief, and wouldnt it take like hours to get it that perfect?
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Female 92
i hate csi ny.
i mean seriously, is it possible to magnify an image by 100 and to not see a couple of squares?
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Male 462
Man- Magnify the image so we can see her cornea
Woman- But the resolution is too low
Man- You fool, I have downloaded magic directly to the hard drive so we can fabricate imagery that was not in the original photo!
Woman- Oh, I see. IT WAS THE MAN WITH THE BASKETBALL! BOOK HIM!
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Female 2,120
Bend the spewn with yo mahhhnd.
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Female 2,064
Ha. Whatever, CSI.
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Male 295
I hate it when these shows magnify images. It is generally not possible to do that.

The only way that you can magnify an image is if the original image has very high resolution. Then maybe a part of the image will look OK. Most of these images are from CCTV cameras, which have very poor resolution to begin with. So this magnification is not possible.

And magnification by 100, please don`t make me laugh.

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Male 848
"mah spoon is too useless"

Well if you throw them no.

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Male 109
"Deus ex machina"

That phrase is how I`d sum up the show CSI...

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Male 467
Ahh, ye olde standard surveillance cameras with around 1 giga pixels, where everything is in focus, always.
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Female 437
They changed the angle of the picture! You could at least try not to make it obvious if not believable!
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Male 1,718
Mah spoon is too useless.
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Male 10,440
rofl. Yea... one of the reasons why I don`t watch this crap. You can just magnify everything indefinitely...
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Female 1,963
Yeah this is certainly not the first occasion where CSI had some pretty special technology. Lighten up people, it`s not actually meant as an accurate portrayal of CSI work. You know why? Because I`m guessing real CSI work is not quite this exciting.
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Female 373
mike I was thinking the exact same seen, such a clasic moment of poking fun at all the vidoe capture waffle, so coutersy of the boys from Super Troopers here it is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R94jWItg9...
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Female 538
Their photoshop is amazing... xD
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Male 506
They did a parody (not sure if it was about this specific thing) of this in the new Red Dwarf episode, it was epic.
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Male 282
I had to explain to my wife on one episode of Miami about taping the circuit breakers so they don`t trip. Breakers are designed to trip even if the handle is obstructed. That was just the tip of the iceberg. Miami and NY are not allowed to be on in our house. Vegas is fine because it usually has way better story lines. Like the time Nick got buried alive. We could feel the bugs crawling.
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Male 213
Woah woah woah.. Didn`t Gary Sinise lose his legs in `nam? ... Then again, he had them back when he became an astronaut and met some aliens ... he can`t possibly be in NY investigating crimes ... therefore I predict that this show is pure fiction.
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Male 102
Instead of concentrating on a reflected image, Gary Sinise should reflect on his career and ask himself how he go to this low point.
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Male 864
Wow... The pixels get more clear as you zoom in! I`m totally gonna try that.
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Female 859
haha oh crime shows make me laugh
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Male 4,793
argh i hate CSI. if that were true then im pretty sure with one reflection off an eye you could see every corner of the planet. just look at the reflection in the reflection of the eye, then the reflection in THAT reflection. CSI makes me want to kill small children that want to be CSI`s.
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Female 512
Argh. I so hate that show. I used to work for a university & we`d have kids coming in asking what they would need to study to become a CSI because they thought it was all just like the show...sigh. I know a real life crime scene investigator & the show makes her so cross because it`s so unbelievably far from reality.
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Female 168
@Epicasaurus: I was about to post the same thing.

...I still love CSI though (minus that whole debacle called Miami)

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Male 1,002
It`s 2009, everyone knows how computers work (even goddamned 80 year olds) and yet TV shows and movies still insist on having computers make beeping sounds whenever they do anything. There has never been an operating system like that, and if there was, NOBODY WOULD USE IT!!!
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Male 317
ahaaaa reminds me of Super Troopers:

"enhance"

type type type

"enhance"

type type type

"enhance"
-"just print the damn thing!"

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Female 512
Argh. I so hate that show. I used to work for a university & we`d have kids coming in asking what they would need to study to become a CSI because they thought it was all just like the show...sigh. I know a real life crime scene investigator & the show makes her so cross because it`s so unbelievably far from reality.
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Female 1,112
My dad practically rips the tv off the shelf if CSi is on... oh he`s a cop thats why lol
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Female 1,269
gary sinise or however you spell it looks like my dad...
>.>
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Male 42
Aside from the other obvious bullsh*t, did anyone else notice when they first zoomed in on her eye it was on angle but when they soomed in again they could see her entire eye?

What the Fuuuuuuu

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Male 845
why is the monitor pointed towards the camera and not them?
How the heck do you get high res images from a security camera!?
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Male 338
huh... yes it is... now jump in the time machine... we`re gonna stop this murder... before the buzzer...


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Male 17,512
This show is why juries get hung, Everyone has an expectation of this sort of fictitious technology to prove guilt.
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Male 904
hmm... zoom in on her eye...
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Male 820
also, did anyone else notice that, while she was standing in enough light to give the killer a nice, obvious shadow, hers was isolated below her?
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Male 1,162
exactly why I hate CSI and similar shows. The science is complete bull poo
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Male 15,510
And people still think the Moon landing was real
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Male 915
lulz what pooe
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Male 1,666
Well, anyone and everyone that is getting freaked out by the swine flu IS a gullible idiot that is manipulated by the mass media in order to divert attention from the country`s real problems.
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Male 336
solemasher i hope you r joking because this is just asinine.
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Male 143
OMG I KNOW!!!!
i hate CSI becasue of this poo! its so stupid who can actually believe this stuff?

apparently large blob=basketball

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Male 14
This is possable it was in a case in vermont on the show hard evidence
they used it to see a guy who was wanted for rape.
The same software was used and they caught the guy
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Male 2,440
This is one of the many reasons why I never liked CSI. Complete bulls#*t technology with retarded dialogue while they try to make it all look so d@mn sexy. I also hate that hologram s#*t on Bones. Who do they think they`re foolin`?
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Male 375
Lets magnify an already pixelated video image 100x and pick out a basketball which would have just been a large box (pixel). Brilliant.
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Male 198
my father has worked with the las vegas csi, and alwas says that its absolutely nothing like the tv (which is to be expected)
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Female 254
"I don`t care if you are Lt. Dan. GTFO."

SPLENDID. *applause*

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Female 818
They did that in the first CSI too.
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Male 382
bloody hell, that was terrible!! ive never actualyl watched csi, but heard so many great things about it- this was just terrible. also, using a spoon to inspire you for corneal imaging, the whole lot was crap :P
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Female 8
CSI: NY is a joke.
Though the whole series glamorizes everything in the forensic science field, this is by far the worst thing to come out of it.

I don`t care if you are Lt. Dan. GTFO.

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Female 79
BTW this whole plot device is based on an old superstition that kicked the bucket maybe 60 years ago - at least among most civilized folk. The outmoded superstition is that a murderer`s reflection will be frozed forever in the eyes of the corpse. In other words, if you examine the eyes of a murder victim, you ought to be able to see the murderer imprinted there. Not true, but that`s where this idiotic plot device comes from.
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Male 70
Yeah right, just by zooming in he can see a drating reflection in her eye from 20 feet away from a picture taken on a black and white Security Cam.
CSI is such bullsh*t
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Female 79
Ooooo, that was low. I mean, like, one of the oldest tricks in the detective story book. Not only that but they did it particularly badly.

In terms of drama that pulled off this oldest of oldest of tricks, Twin Peaks was my favorite. I think it was in the 2nd episode, when Agent Cooper noted the reflection of James Hurley`s motorcycle in Laura Palmer`s iris, in the videotape evidence of her "secret picnic in the mountains" LOL. Apologies to the few who haven`t seen TP yet but plan on it LOL.

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Male 46
i`ve talked to people who do this for a living and it SUCKS, you can get called at ANYTIME and be expected to work up to 90 hours at a time with your pay being not at all what you expect,


also this technoloogy only pretends to exist because of the TV show... most of it doesn`t exist in real life, they have budgets tooo

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Male 7,933
so wait.....its NOT true right?
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Male 5,190
Hahaha. Took me a while to get it. >.>
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Female 71
Raccoon: Sorry about your sister. You have my condolences. Anything is going to sound pretty stupid being said on a board, but I am sincere. About CSI - the real problem (with ALL of them) is that real life juries are buying into it, and letting people go because, well, the DA just doesn`t have all the scientific type stuff they are used to seeing on tv. And CSI Miami lost me the first episode - when the head CSI guy said to look behind a tree in the middle of nowhere for a urine sample "because people ALWAYS shut the door when they go to the bathroom, EVEN WHEN THEY ARE ALONE". Yeah. Right. Like some guy isn`t going to tinkle, in the woods/swamp in the middle of friggin nowhere, no one around for miles and miles and miles UNLESS he goes behind a tree.
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Female 1,784
lol oh comon! if they could do that in real life then there would be a little less crime on the streets
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Male 151

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Male 4,012
Oh so much failure. Her head wasn`t even facing the camera, let alone view it x100.

BTW, Lion, sorry to dissapoint you, but I`ve worked (or more accurately, studied) in a hospital, and yes, `stat` is used, albeit less dramatically.

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Female 1,264
Oh, come on, we all know CSI is not a science show so LOL. There`s a lot more science in Mythbusters and damn, they blow up stuff.
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Female 340
Lionhart2: Yes. The day my sister died.
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Male 1,598
This is probably the part of the show where my mom would be like, "Whoah! Can they actually do that in real life?"

I`m kind of bothered by how fancy all the animations on their computer software is. All those lines and random little numbers everywhere changing too fast to read...

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Male 734
It`s a complete lack of creativity. The writers just say, "Hey, we can magically invent anything we want to just by pushing a button." Meh. Even Star Trek NG did the same crap all the time. "Captain, we have 3000 enemy ships attacking us, we`re about to collide into a star going super nova, and the borg ar beaming aboard the ship!" "Compensate!" ...and it`s magically fixed. I was convinved that Data or Geordi had a big "Compensate" button on their little console that automatically fixed whatever peril the Enterprise was in. Blech.
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Male 639
Lol, I love all the sounds the computers make when they do things on them.
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Female 340
Everyone`s talking about the pixelation and how it would distort if you zoomed so much. Never mind the fact that the person`s face was turned, and you wouldn`t get a perfect zoom of the left eye!
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Male 1,629
the technology thing is within the realm of possibility for the world this story is being told in. for a standard PD to have all kinds of fancy poo it makes sense that the streets may have better then average equipment to. who says only sci-fi/horror should be able to stretch the truth and make the extraordinary seem like daily life
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Male 11,740
That`s nothing special. I took a picture on my cell phone, put it on my computer, and used Microsoft Photo Editor to read the license plate of a car parked two blocks away. Show me something I can`t do at home.
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Male 162
0:47 - My thoughts exactly... "oooooookkkkkkk..."
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Male 656
omg, are you serious?

Cornea reflections????

Oh yeah, becuse, you know, normal street cams have a 20.6 megapixel resolution film in them. Right, and you know, they can justmagnify it it right at the point of where they want it to be, and NOOOO pixelation AT ALL!

Wow, good job hollywood.

Lets take away their creative license....

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Male 3,756
I hate when they take low resolution or zoomed in pictures and make them clear. You can`t just create pixels that weren`t there to begin with.
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Male 418
this was one of the reasons why I stopped watching CSI. They can solve anything from a strand of hair, a fuzzy picture, or a drop of blood. Also, I hate it when we watch one of the technicians run a test while they show plays some funky music in the background.
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Male 3,369
Wait...what? TV isnt real? Never!
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Male 8,302
I was going to make all sorts of comments but Mornaf42`s cartoon says it all. One thing - has ANYONE ever heard anyone is a hospital EVER say "Stat!" in real life?
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Male 480
too bad they didnt tell you that all the camera nowadays actually shoots 1000 megapixel images
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Female 4,197
i watch the show and constantly question their hi tech equipment. sad but true
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Male 1,406
If most shows that portrayed jobs were actually accurate no one would want to watch them.
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Female 335
Now if we zoom into everyone`s cornea`s in the JFK assassination video, then zoom into the cornea of the person in each person`s eyes and repeat several hundred times...

We should find who the real killer is.
The pentagon need to figure this poo out!

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Male 307
wwwoooowwww
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Female 15,763
Not with Grissom gone.

:(

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Male 105
CSI Vegas FTW
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Male 490
I believe that we can all agree: Vegas is the best.
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Female 15,763
Aaaahahahaha Morn...

:`D

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Female 1,199
I never did like CSI for some reason. I think its mostly the way they talk though; it grates on my nerves.
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Male 2,199
lol is that camera the hubble telescope?
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Male 14

I`ll just leave this here.
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Male 353
lol at oldollie
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Male 1,149
100x for starters? The eye is like 1 pixel big.
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Male 91
This is why CSI NY sucks, and just terrible acting and unbelievable plots
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Male 1,929
a pixel is a pixel. It`s a single colour. This method of detection is bullpoo. Still, it`s only TV.
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Male 864
Proof that Big Brother is watching.
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Male 15,832
This makes perfect sense. Everybody knows that convenience store security cameras have a resolution of 160,000 x 120,000 pixels. It`s just that the monitors only display 320 x 240. If you have really good CSI equipment, though, you can zoom in and what originally appeared to be a single pixel turns out to be a complete high-resolution image all by itself. Now, please disregard all the negative comments and enjoy our program. And please support our sponsors. Thank you.
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Female 15,763
Well damn, I want a security camera that good.
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Male 362
actually they do stuff like this all the time, i even have the program to do it... its called photoshop.
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Female 50
oh come on, it`s tv for chrissakes
we all already knew that they can do things on tv you just can`t do in real life.
lameee
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Male 2,958
"Alright, now let`s zoom in on the guy in a t-shirt`s cornea..."

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Female 362
God, who writes these scripts? They just go back and forth realizing things in pseudo-intelligent monotone. It makes me want to punch them.
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Male 3,819
waitwut?
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Male 156
Lieutenant Dan...
For shame :(
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Male 418
Lets zoom in 100X.

Because digital zoom is DEFINITELY that good.

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Male 70
Link: Television Thinks You`re A Gullible Idiot [Rate Link] - Well, at least `CSI: NY` does. Check out their questionable hi-tech equipment...
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