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65 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 12289
Rating: 3.5
Category: Funny
Date: 04/07/09 12:41 PM

65 Responses to Close Range: Brand New Uber-Violent Video Game

  1. Profile photo of ichamps
    ichamps Male 18-29
    176 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 1:43 pm
    Link: Close Range: Brand New Uber-Violent Video Game - Hot new video game consists solely of shooting people point-blank in the face.
  2. Profile photo of JoeYC
    JoeYC Male 18-29
    721 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 1:48 pm
    looks poo
  3. Profile photo of JoeYC
    JoeYC Male 18-29
    721 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 1:50 pm
    the game just comes out, and they announce the sequal? definatly fake lol (or really crap)
  4. Profile photo of The_Maddog
    The_Maddog Male 30-39
    3369 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 1:52 pm
    Have you not heard of "The onion"?

  5. Profile photo of Steno
    Steno Male 18-29
    66 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 1:52 pm
    You can actually play the game! http://www.closerangegame.com/
  6. Profile photo of Vhreio
    Vhreio Male 30-39
    506 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 1:55 pm
    "the game just comes out, and they announce the sequal? definatly fake lol (or really crap)"

    Wooooooossshhh!

  7. Profile photo of RyanF701
    RyanF701 Male 18-29
    2486 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 1:56 pm
    "
    the game just comes out, and they announce the sequal? definatly fake lol (or really crap)"

    Uh, no kidding it`s fake, The Onion is a mock news station that puts out episodes like this every week. Been under a rock?

  8. Profile photo of thefireguy22
    thefireguy22 Male 18-29
    419 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 2:03 pm
    i want this!!!! hahaha i wish ;)
  9. Profile photo of SilentFray
    SilentFray Female 18-29
    678 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 2:14 pm
    and the onion strikes out again.
  10. Profile photo of _Perfection_
    _Perfection_ Male 18-29
    1788 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 2:16 pm
    hahaha! new cure for crying kids, smothering..
  11. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15511 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 2:18 pm
    NN is now days the most reliable source of information
  12. Profile photo of StapleMeElmo
    StapleMeElmo Male 18-29
    1029 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 2:37 pm
    this is dumb
  13. Profile photo of bobthemime
    bobthemime Male 18-29
    94 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 2:39 pm
    i would actually go and buy this....rockstar i hope ya watch onion as we the gamers of teh world want to shot stuff for no reason in teh face
  14. Profile photo of Megido
    Megido Male 18-29
    439 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 2:41 pm
    I`m not really sure what to think...are they making fun of the hysteria concerning violent games or the rabid fans defending them...or both?
  15. Profile photo of mrpopenfresh
    mrpopenfresh Male 18-29
    1036 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 2:41 pm
    Kids don`t like this because it`s laughing at stuff you like.
  16. Profile photo of commentClown
    commentClown Male 13-17
    127 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 2:43 pm
    THIS is comedy?
  17. Profile photo of Wraithix
    Wraithix Male 30-39
    178 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 2:52 pm
    Holy Hell! Something the Onion reports on is real? It plays in your browser. http://www.closerangegame.com/close_rang...
  18. Profile photo of yo-i-am-luke
    yo-i-am-luke Male 18-29
    626 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 2:55 pm
    It`s still not as gory as that new God of War game coming out... lovly new softwear making the body conatin tendons, guts and veins wich snap/tear/bleed/fall out as real as legaly possible.

    Also smothering your kids is a effective way of shutting them up but then they just get lazy instead.

  19. Profile photo of Backfat
    Backfat Male 30-39
    1895 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 2:55 pm
    HAHa. the demo game is WAY better than the video.

    Thanks Steno. I shot many a face.

  20. Profile photo of dm2754
    dm2754 Male 40-49
    3336 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 2:56 pm
    Awesome that looks even more fun then "world of world of war craft"!
  21. Profile photo of Lockon
    Lockon Male 18-29
    376 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 3:10 pm
    You`re not funny Onion. Its cute how hard you try though.
  22. Profile photo of ZIMAAgent7
    ZIMAAgent7 Male 18-29
    512 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 3:28 pm
    Hahaha the animal sidequest is just stupid. PETA would poo bricks if they saw that XD
  23. Profile photo of USFEmoGirl
    USFEmoGirl Female 18-29
    1437 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 3:51 pm
    Lol - the lines after are hilarious! Oh Onion, you stay classy!

    Oh and I lol`d so damn hard at the animals!

  24. Profile photo of eggsnham
    eggsnham Male 13-17
    1140 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 4:06 pm
    i wanna play
  25. Profile photo of Mantistador
    Mantistador Male 18-29
    2200 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 4:30 pm
    you know theres someone out there thinking "why didnt I think of that!?!?!"
  26. Profile photo of Erunen
    Erunen Male 18-29
    190 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 5:11 pm
    A new cure for crying children! YES!
  27. Profile photo of allnamesgone
    allnamesgone Male 13-17
    31 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 5:22 pm
    I spit out my food when he shot the horse xD
  28. Profile photo of dragosal
    dragosal Male 18-29
    1630 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 5:25 pm
    im not sure what point they are trying to make.... it could be about news shows and parents overreacting to games or how some games fit that cookie cutter mold of the violent shooter... hmmmm
  29. Profile photo of SilentFray
    SilentFray Female 18-29
    678 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 5:29 pm
    "You`re not funny Onion. Its cute how hard you try though."

    yeah so cute it makes you want to vomit.

  30. Profile photo of Negative_One
    Negative_One Male 30-39
    2583 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 5:33 pm
    Stupid Onion.
  31. Profile photo of Jasonbobdude
    Jasonbobdude Male 18-29
    1598 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 5:39 pm
    I`m writing a paper for school about video game violence... This is exactly what all of the paranoid people like Jack Thomson seem to think games are.
  32. Profile photo of FixTheYellow
    FixTheYellow Female 18-29
    192 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 5:42 pm
    Thank whatever`s in charge of making sure things don`t come to be that that game has not come to be.

    Interesting joke about videogames, though. :P

  33. Profile photo of ScottSerious
    ScottSerious Male 18-29
    5316 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 5:50 pm
    for a sec, i thought it might have been real
  34. Profile photo of Shellie84
    Shellie84 Female 18-29
    4197 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 6:50 pm
    bleh onion. interesting concept if it was legit though
  35. Profile photo of Kaagan
    Kaagan Male 18-29
    1599 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 7:01 pm
    aw :-D, how can you dislike the onion.
  36. Profile photo of Piepig
    Piepig Male 13-17
    1524 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 7:18 pm
    Oh onion... you make everything better! (:
  37. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7935 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 7:26 pm
    Isnt Gears already like that?
  38. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7935 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 7:36 pm
    btw, i just finished playing the game....its actually pretty good
  39. Profile photo of Coodude26
    Coodude26 Male 13-17
    340 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 8:14 pm
    THA FOLLIWING ISS BRAHT TO YEW BAY KRAHD MAN DEWN AND THI FLEHMING SARD OF FlER.
  40. Profile photo of deaf_woman
    deaf_woman Male 30-39
    2720 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 8:21 pm
    Sjd-Wth: hating the onion = liking atom films. (and thats not good.)
  41. Profile photo of insanepirate
    insanepirate Female 18-29
    364 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 10:08 pm
    "A new cure for crying children: smothering." That was the best part of the whole video, for me. XD
  42. Profile photo of viczko
    viczko Male 13-17
    906 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 10:15 pm
    lol prime. i hate it. teh smash bros es bettr
  43. Profile photo of Boredered
    Boredered Male 18-29
    2506 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 11:09 pm
    Far from their best -.- BUT CANT HATE THE ONION!
  44. Profile photo of BoomBox
    BoomBox Male 13-17
    1232 posts
    April 7, 2009 at 11:18 pm
    The ends are always the best.
  45. Profile photo of Suicism
    Suicism Male 18-29
    3625 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 12:23 am
    Great; they used my name!
  46. Profile photo of dre5922
    dre5922 Male 18-29
    259 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 1:00 am
    if this was real PETA would be all over them faster than you can shoot an ostrich in the face
  47. Profile photo of Freelop
    Freelop Male 18-29
    442 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 1:42 am
    it has a demo on the close range website: www.closerangegame.com
  48. Profile photo of Musuko42
    Musuko42 Male 18-29
    2850 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 3:05 am
    Can we PLEASE have something to indicate a post as being from the Onion so I don`t have to keep wasting my time opening up this crap?
  49. Profile photo of draquoir
    draquoir Male 18-29
    1051 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 3:11 am
    I`m sick of shooters. :/
  50. Profile photo of ukbox
    ukbox Male 18-29
    101 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 3:42 am
    looked funny at first but wouldnt it get boring just pushing 1 button for hours on end? what waste of time and money .
  51. Profile photo of moefreak
    moefreak Female 18-29
    1963 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 4:24 am
    "New cure for crying children: smothering" AHHHAHHAHAH!
    And it`s also a little frightening that before I clicked the link, I had no trouble believing that this was a real game.
  52. Profile photo of lukas1051
    lukas1051 Male 18-29
    3426 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 4:37 am
    That has to be fake... I`ve never heard of it, let alone it being the next new thing in gaming. How could pressing the same button for ages be considered fun? I like gory games like Fallout 3, but that doesn`t even look good. The gameplay looks boring as hell, the storyline looks crap, the graphics are crap, the gore is crap, the mutliplayer is crap, the side missions are crap, the whole game just looks like a giant crap-fest.

    Gotta be fake, or a joke at least. No-one in their right minds could find that fun for more than a minute, the graphics are too bad for modern gaming, and I (a bit of a video-game geek) haven`t ever heard of it. Not to mention the controversy there would be IF it was released as a real game. Carmageddon anyone?

  53. Profile photo of Spearman113
    Spearman113 Male 18-29
    209 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 4:52 am
    lukas1051 has never heard of the onion
  54. Profile photo of Dr_Sexy
    Dr_Sexy Male 30-39
    1597 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 5:26 am
    I recommend the onion movie
  55. Profile photo of lukas1051
    lukas1051 Male 18-29
    3426 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 6:07 am
    Oh I just realised, it`s onion... So it is fake then. Wow, what an idiot I look now... *hides head in shame*
  56. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11741 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 7:14 am
    Now I understand why it was so stupid and lame. It was The Onion.
  57. Profile photo of JoeYC
    JoeYC Male 18-29
    721 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 7:15 am
    "Uh, no kidding it`s fake, The Onion is a mock news station that puts out episodes like this every week. Been under a rock?"

    no, im just not that intrested

  58. Profile photo of Knightsofwar
    Knightsofwar Male 13-17
    25 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 8:16 am
    wow that is messed up. . .
  59. Profile photo of AdrianT
    AdrianT Male 13-17
    37 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 8:21 am
    It`s not fake. Here it is.
  60. Profile photo of fknloser
    fknloser Male 30-39
    418 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 12:11 pm
    every time an Onion video is posted, we get "oh its the onion","i hate the onion" ..... wtf? the onion is funny as hell with how well they do things. You know you haters think its funny u just gotta look like your better than the us and the internet, huh? don`t ya? haterz
  61. Profile photo of str8ghtup65
    str8ghtup65 Male 18-29
    4 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 1:56 pm
    this isnt fake its just a joke theres a real game online thoguhclick this
  62. Profile photo of maedene
    maedene Male 18-29
    291 posts
    April 8, 2009 at 4:56 pm
    i love how they even created a demo for the game haha. still fake, though

  63. Profile photo of h0ax_d3m0n
    h0ax_d3m0n Male 18-29
    2513 posts
    April 9, 2009 at 8:13 am
    They had to make the game for the joke, it makes sense that they would post it for people to download, it does not make it real. It was still made by the onion guys.

    some peoples stupidity astounds me.

  64. Profile photo of yoimmylene
    yoimmylene Female 13-17
    2065 posts
    April 13, 2009 at 2:40 pm
    Ha, the words scrolling at the bottom crack me up.
  65. Profile photo of proof1221
    proof1221 Male 18-29
    690 posts
    June 12, 2009 at 9:19 am
    i thought it was real until i remembered i was watching onion news network

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