U Can`t Touch Mormon Jesus

Submitted by: SaintPatty 8 years ago in Funny

STOP! Mormon time!
There are 79 comments:
Male 230
LOL, CharlieA!... Do ya think? Pretty obvious to most IABers. They tend to back down from the IAB Alpha Bullies, though. Too funny.
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Male 502

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Male 8,300
> Devi3000

Yeah true about the elipses Devi, its a form of Tourette`s but a much cleaner one than the normal one you hear of. But not quite the same thing, no-one ever got every cent they possess conned out of them by me using extra elipses... ... ...

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Male 247
@charlie... That doesn`t look like a lionhart...

There was no "Bible" until something like 367 AD. A bunch of now-dead white guys voted on what was OK and what was not. And even then and now there are differences in the Roman, Greek and Protestant (um... 1600s) Canons of the so-called "Bible." King James of England got the final say for the Prots. Take that Pope!

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Female 5,222
skjdfghkshjdf hahaha man
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Male 63
Making fun of religion is my favorite thing in the whole wide world
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Male 469
Sabre20000,

Actually the caffeine thing is really about not being addicted to stuff. Back then, coffee, tea, and alcohol were the main things to get addicted to.

Caffeine is in chocolate, Pepsi and Coke yet they are allowed to be used. Also, McDonalds double cheeseburgers are terrible for you, but they allow that too.

It seems confusing if you are trying to pin it down, but the IDEA is to just be healthy. The "Word of Wisdom", as we call it, also calls for the consumption of meat sparingly.

These things were said over 150 years ago, before Starbucks (with coffee that has 6 cans of Coca Cola worth of caffeine in it), and mass produced farms (with massive growth hormones given to cattle)

Believe it to be from God or not, you have to admit that`s rather impressive that they got this wisdom way back then.

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Male 469
Lionheart

Also, the book of Revelation was written by and of itself. The bible was not compiled until later. So when the author talked of no more should be added to the book, they meant Revelation specifically.

One more thing, to me it`s not the literalness that means anything when it comes to scripture, it`s the teachings and lessons we get from it that matter most.

So people can say whatever they want about the stories and literalness of the Bible and the Book of Mormon, it`s the IDEAS that matter. The Book of Mormon is ideas for THIS day and age, (not like the Old Testament when God was just laying waste to everyone. If you ever wondered about that BTW, it`s because back in that day, we were barbarians and wouldn`t not listen to reason.)

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Male 1,039
I get a kick out of the whole caffeine thing too.

You simply can not avoid it. Nearly every food produced has caffeine in it. Including gum and jelly beans...etc.

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Male 1,039
LOL...Joseph Smith...LOL
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Male 1,718
Okay is this brain washing or something. I dont want to become a mormon.
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Female 1,496
Hey Lion I think the idiot Mormon was incorrectly using the plural form of the Book Revelation. Sort of equal to the fact you over use, and incorrectly use, ellipsis at the end of sentences. So I guess you are both ignoramuses.
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Male 94
Lionhart is my hero haha
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Male 432
That was actually much funnier than I expected.
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Male 11,739
Wow, that was one of the weirdest drug induced videos I`ve ever seen. Was that about Jesus or Superman?
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Male 8,300
> Tailz120
> Dear Lionheart, The passage you are thinking of is Revelations 22:18-19. Blah blah Next time you try bashing LDS doctrine, please get your facts straight first.

I`m being lectured by someone whose knowledge of the Bible is SO GOOD that they get the name of the book wrong... It`s Revelation. So sorry if I dismiss everything you say after that as coming from an ignoramus...

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Male 442
I remeber the original video being posted here, that was funny on its own but this is great
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Male 18
Dear Lionheart,

The passage you are thinking of is Revelations 22:18-19. It says:

For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:

And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.

However, this does not mean that there can be no more prophecy. Moses himself wrote something similar in Deuteronomy 4:2

Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.

And when John wrote Revelations, there was no bible. The book had yet to be compiled. So, he couldn`t possibly be referring to the bible.

Next time you try bashing LDS doctrine, please get your facts straight first.

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Male 1,455
"He DID on the other hand specifically say there would be NO more prophecies given to man till He came again; that anyone who added to the Bible was evil"

It`s not like the Bible was written once and then kept unchanged. There are equally-holy passages that were simply left out of the versions we know today.

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Female 31
that was EPIC!!!
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Female 357
the ending was the best =]

xlucyx

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Male 21
See, its this kind of thing that makes me proud to be American. Corrine? Check our Bill of Rights. See: Speech, Freedom of. Besides, if you think this isn`t funny, you`re not allowed to watch Farting Preacher.

Sheesh, I`m a christian and I thought that was freaking hilarious; and because I can laugh at myself I am free to laugh at others.

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Male 369
mormons are creepy
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Female 70
Certain mods on IAB really come off as being douchebags. Mormons believe what they want to believe, just as every other group of people does (Muslums, Scientologists, Jews, Hindus, Athiests...) Who are they hurting with their beliefs? No one. You just hate on them because you think you have the "better" secret to the nature of the universe.

Oh, the video sucked

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Male 2,591
that shxt was funny flat out
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Male 17,511
I wouldn`t normally laugh at something that makes fun of some people`s religion, But this was just too hilarious.

If you can`t laugh at this because you think you`ll rot in hell, You`re waaaaaay too uptight.

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Female 161
That was fabulous!
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Male 8,300
> thatjimguy
> We believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ

Actually, Jesus never said anything about invisible magic plates and making new rules up; He DID on the other hand specifically say there would be NO more prophecies given to man till He came again; that anyone who added to the Bible was evil; and that there were plenty of false prophets out there. So yes, he did mention the Mormons I guess. As ridiculous as my previous comment sounds, that IS the foundation of your sect, a fact studiously whitewashed over as much as possible these days.

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Male 42
funny, though i wouldn`t mind mockery that was more overt, less unintelligible.

Mormons: dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

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Female 298
looool
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Male 160
--->JJXanadu
"I`m not a mormon, that should be obvious from the comment I made below... sorry you`re a mormon with a missing `m`."

Wait... an ormon? I don`t get it ;P
<---->

this should be a real forehead slapper for you XD its moron not ormon...

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Male 3
i all ready feel the black flames of hel l eating my soul!!! XD
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Male 92
"sex with a persian in order to provide mormon jesus" 1:20 XDDD
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Male 469
Lionheart,

We believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ. The LDS church is about bringing forth, in scripture, plain and simple truths lost to world. It offers so much that can change lives. I know that many of you will only listen to the quick sound bite or witty quip that will finalize your decision to ever hear from us. However, I hope that some of you will.

BTW, LionHeart, if it was all about sex, wouldn`t we be the biggest church in the world? Howard Stern would be promoting it from the rooftops if it were.

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Male 378
lol... is that a Roman fighting a Native American Indian?

this is great!

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Female 92
Wow, I actually lol`d. :D good post.
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Male 3,431
OMMFG. Gotta be the Funniest Gorram thing I`ve seen this year. Awesome!
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Female 26
lol
im mormen
rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl
:-D
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Male 516
"I`m not a mormon, that should be obvious from the comment I made below... sorry you`re a mormon with a missing `m`."

Wait... an ormon? I don`t get it ;P

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Male 3,755
That was funny. Take that mormons! Eventhough you didn`t do anything to me and every mormon I`ve meet seems to be an extremely nice person. I haven`t run across one of the real whackos though. Every group has those though. Except New Age people and Wiccans. And anyone who says Chi or chakra - they`re all whack jobs.
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Male 8,300
> Hungwell
> Lionhart I`m sorry your a mormon

I`m not a mormon, that should be obvious from the comment I made below... sorry you`re a mormon with a missing `m`.

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Male 247
That was not even coherent. But I guess it was alright because Mormonism is one of the religions that are OK to make fun of. Mormons don`t blow up people and buildings.
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Female 262
Lol, pretty good mash-up.
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Male 292
Khast, that wouldn`t work because paganism is a category which includes many religions, and almost none of them were ever officially codified. "Pagan" is a catch-all term and doesn`t correlate to a specific set of beliefs, unlike "Mormon," which describes a specific religion.
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Male 182
I am Pagan. I would love it if someone did that for us. Mormons are so lucky that someone spent so much time going through their videos to sync it to a song. /s
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Male 260
only fools are amused by this.
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Female 2,064
catchy.
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Male 410
Lionhart I`m sorry your a mormon

dum dum dum dum dum

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Female 528
That totally makes sense. Wow, mormonism is brilliant! Mormon Jesus ftw
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Male 8,300
> mehh
> I like 2 different guys. Can I be a reverse mormon?

Sure, as long as you realise when a man has 10 wives he`s doing his Godly duty, spreading his oats, ensuring the survival of the race, etc, but when a woman has more than one guy she`s a youknowwhat. Hey, I didn`t write the rules...

[quote]I knew a couple of girls years ago we used to call the Margarine Sisters, cause they spread so easily...[/quote]

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Female 528
Lionhart2: I like 2 different guys. Can I be a reverse mormon?
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Male 8,300
> thatjimguy
> Hi all. I am a Mormon. This video is rather misleading in an number of ways. please email me. I`ll tell you strait up what it`s about and what it`s not about

Basically, a guy comes home and says while he was out, an angel gave him some magic plates no-one else is allowed to see, then he hides behind a screen and translates them to his friend. The missus gets pissed off and burns the translation, so he goes and translates them again, only this translation is completely different from the first one. He then gets hauled into court where he claims to be an expert on ancient Greek and Hebrew, but when actual certified scholars question him, he doesn`t understand a word of either. After court he sees a young piece he wants so he decides its ok for him to have more than one wife, and later cuts the rest of the men in the group in on the same privilege, so despite being patently bs, it remains a popular `religion` esp for men.

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Male 985
Stop... mormon time
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Female 9,572
Haha, mormom Jesus can stick it to himself...
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Female 15,763
I have so many Mormon friends... and am laughing TOO hard at this.
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Male 2,148
I was going to recommend it to a Mormon friend, but I decided to watch it first. Glad I didn`t.
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Male 469
Hi all. I am a Mormon. This video is rather misleading in an number of ways. Also, the scary freaky music is designed to scare you away as well. If you are interested about our faith, even if it`s for the sake of curiosity, please email me. I`ll tell you strait up what it`s about and what it`s not about. Thanks.
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Male 1,086
that was so lame.
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Male 11
I guess remixing something that was originally made to make fun of Mormons (the cartoon) to make fun of Mormons is suppose to be creative.
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Male 307
its even better when you run it through the `bennyhillifier` at regular speed.
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Female 738
I was expecting a lot more from that... but it just didn`t deliver.
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Male 1,219
This would be better if I knew hat mormons believed...I guess that`s my fault.
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Male 897
That was ROFLtastic! I am going to send this to my friend who was raised mormon.
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Female 460
I can`t help but wonder if the person who posted this wrote "STOP! Mormon Time!" copied "STOP! Demyx Time!" from youtube.
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Male 211
I actually laughed at that. I`m so ashamed! Religious people are bat-pooe crazy!
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Male 390
I lol`d
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Male 14
Oh man. Gotta love clips from the anti-mormon propaganda film "The God Makers"!
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Male 167
nice...
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Female 1,306
mormon time! XD XD
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Male 250
this is retarded... -_-
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Female 859
HAHA! Oh i loves it :D
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Male 10,440
bahahaha. good stuff.
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Female 26
I sent this to my mormon friend...
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Female 62
This just made my entire day. LOL
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Male 588
Awesome! LOL.

Question: Is Mormon Jesus the same as Jesus who works at the Mexican Restaurant?

Mormon Time! *dances*

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Female 495
lmao!!
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Male 3,646
Joseph Smith, dumb dumbdumbdumb dumb.
Martin Harris, dumb dumbdumbdumb dumb.
Lucy Harris, smart smartsmartsmart smart.
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Male 174
nice
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Male 970
Link: U Can`t Touch Mormon Jesus [Rate Link] - STOP! Mormon time!
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