Rockin' in the free world since 2005.

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Rating: 4
Category: Funny
Date: 03/21/09 06:03 AM

79 Responses to U Can`t Touch Mormon Jesus

  1. Profile photo of SaintPatty
    SaintPatty Male 18-29
    970 posts
    March 20, 2009 at 2:04 pm
    Link: U Can`t Touch Mormon Jesus - STOP! Mormon time!
  2. Profile photo of slate
    slate Male 13-17
    174 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 6:11 am
    nice
  3. Profile photo of DuckBoy87
    DuckBoy87 Male 18-29
    3148 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 6:13 am
    Joseph Smith, dumb dumbdumbdumb dumb.
    Martin Harris, dumb dumbdumbdumb dumb.
    Lucy Harris, smart smartsmartsmart smart.
  4. Profile photo of SarahJ86
    SarahJ86 Female 18-29
    495 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 6:27 am
    lmao!!
  5. Profile photo of Robert_D
    Robert_D Male 18-29
    589 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 7:28 am
    Awesome! LOL.

    Question: Is Mormon Jesus the same as Jesus who works at the Mexican Restaurant?

    Mormon Time! *dances*

  6. Profile photo of ink_junkie75
    ink_junkie75 Female 18-29
    62 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 7:32 am
    This just made my entire day. LOL
  7. Profile photo of kinkyduck
    kinkyduck Female 18-29
    26 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 7:41 am
    I sent this to my mormon friend...
  8. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10443 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 8:00 am
    bahahaha. good stuff.
  9. Profile photo of coolbananas
    coolbananas Female 18-29
    859 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 8:10 am
    HAHA! Oh i loves it :D
  10. Profile photo of RG900
    RG900 Male 18-29
    250 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 8:18 am
    this is retarded... -_-
  11. Profile photo of emzrok
    emzrok Female 13-17
    1306 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 8:24 am
    mormon time! XD XD
  12. Profile photo of CAP9993
    CAP9993 Male 18-29
    167 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 8:42 am
    nice...
  13. Profile photo of MWShake
    MWShake Male 40-49
    14 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 9:05 am
    Oh man. Gotta love clips from the anti-mormon propaganda film "The God Makers"!
  14. Profile photo of bmanthe2
    bmanthe2 Male 13-17
    390 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 9:18 am
    I lol`d
  15. Profile photo of Godzukis_Dad
    Godzukis_Dad Male 30-39
    211 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 9:24 am
    I actually laughed at that. I`m so ashamed! Religious people are bat-pooe crazy!
  16. Profile photo of OverTheMoo
    OverTheMoo Female 18-29
    460 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 9:35 am
    I can`t help but wonder if the person who posted this wrote "STOP! Mormon Time!" copied "STOP! Demyx Time!" from youtube.
  17. Profile photo of Jerm_Leather
    Jerm_Leather Male 18-29
    897 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 10:30 am
    That was ROFLtastic! I am going to send this to my friend who was raised mormon.
  18. Profile photo of FlameOfUdun
    FlameOfUdun Male 18-29
    1222 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 10:32 am
    This would be better if I knew hat mormons believed...I guess that`s my fault.
  19. Profile photo of astridhaze
    astridhaze Female 18-29
    738 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 11:26 am
    I was expecting a lot more from that... but it just didn`t deliver.
  20. Profile photo of loadstar
    loadstar Male 30-39
    308 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 11:27 am
    its even better when you run it through the `bennyhillifier` at regular speed.
  21. Profile photo of rockwell84
    rockwell84 Male 18-29
    11 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 11:27 am
    I guess remixing something that was originally made to make fun of Mormons (the cartoon) to make fun of Mormons is suppose to be creative.
  22. Profile photo of quaintness
    quaintness Male 13-17
    1086 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 1:10 pm
    that was so lame.
  23. Profile photo of thatjimguy
    thatjimguy Male 30-39
    458 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 2:01 pm
    Hi all. I am a Mormon. This video is rather misleading in an number of ways. Also, the scary freaky music is designed to scare you away as well. If you are interested about our faith, even if it`s for the sake of curiosity, please email me. I`ll tell you strait up what it`s about and what it`s not about. Thanks.
  24. Profile photo of ElDavo
    ElDavo Male 18-29
    2149 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 2:27 pm
    I was going to recommend it to a Mormon friend, but I decided to watch it first. Glad I didn`t.
  25. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15782 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 2:30 pm
    I have so many Mormon friends... and am laughing TOO hard at this.
  26. Profile photo of panth753
    panth753 Female 18-29
    9184 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 2:42 pm
    Haha, mormom Jesus can stick it to himself...
  27. Profile photo of Tisjokar
    Tisjokar Male 18-29
    985 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 3:52 pm
    Stop... mormon time
  28. Profile photo of Lionhart2
    Lionhart2 Male 40-49
    8309 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 4:07 pm
    > thatjimguy
    > Hi all. I am a Mormon. This video is rather misleading in an number of ways. please email me. I`ll tell you strait up what it`s about and what it`s not about

    Basically, a guy comes home and says while he was out, an angel gave him some magic plates no-one else is allowed to see, then he hides behind a screen and translates them to his friend. The missus gets pissed off and burns the translation, so he goes and translates them again, only this translation is completely different from the first one. He then gets hauled into court where he claims to be an expert on ancient Greek and Hebrew, but when actual certified scholars question him, he doesn`t understand a word of either. After court he sees a young piece he wants so he decides its ok for him to have more than one wife, and later cuts the rest of the men in the group in on the same privilege, so despite being patently bs, it remains a popular `religion` esp for men.

  29. Profile photo of mehh
    mehh Female 18-29
    528 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 4:12 pm
    Lionhart2: I like 2 different guys. Can I be a reverse mormon?
  30. Profile photo of Lionhart2
    Lionhart2 Male 40-49
    8309 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 4:23 pm
    > mehh
    > I like 2 different guys. Can I be a reverse mormon?

    Sure, as long as you realise when a man has 10 wives he`s doing his Godly duty, spreading his oats, ensuring the survival of the race, etc, but when a woman has more than one guy she`s a youknowwhat. Hey, I didn`t write the rules...

    I knew a couple of girls years ago we used to call the Margarine Sisters, cause they spread so easily...

  31. Profile photo of mehh
    mehh Female 18-29
    528 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 4:43 pm
    That totally makes sense. Wow, mormonism is brilliant! Mormon Jesus ftw
  32. Profile photo of Hungwell
    Hungwell Male 18-29
    410 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 5:22 pm
    Lionhart I`m sorry your a mormon

    dum dum dum dum dum

  33. Profile photo of yoimmylene
    yoimmylene Female 13-17
    2066 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 5:30 pm
    catchy.
  34. Profile photo of JacobTrue13
    JacobTrue13 Male 18-29
    260 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 5:39 pm
    only fools are amused by this.
  35. Profile photo of Khast
    Khast Male 30-39
    184 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 5:45 pm
    I am Pagan. I would love it if someone did that for us. Mormons are so lucky that someone spent so much time going through their videos to sync it to a song. /s
  36. Profile photo of Chiburashka
    Chiburashka Male 18-29
    292 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 6:06 pm
    Khast, that wouldn`t work because paganism is a category which includes many religions, and almost none of them were ever officially codified. "Pagan" is a catch-all term and doesn`t correlate to a specific set of beliefs, unlike "Mormon," which describes a specific religion.
  37. Profile photo of HighEndMeep
    HighEndMeep Female 18-29
    262 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 6:27 pm
    Lol, pretty good mash-up.
  38. Profile photo of andystevens
    andystevens Male 18-29
    247 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 6:34 pm
    That was not even coherent. But I guess it was alright because Mormonism is one of the religions that are OK to make fun of. Mormons don`t blow up people and buildings.
  39. Profile photo of Lionhart2
    Lionhart2 Male 40-49
    8309 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 6:40 pm
    > Hungwell
    > Lionhart I`m sorry your a mormon

    I`m not a mormon, that should be obvious from the comment I made below... sorry you`re a mormon with a missing `m`.

  40. Profile photo of SuperSmash
    SuperSmash Male 18-29
    3758 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 7:56 pm
    That was funny. Take that mormons! Eventhough you didn`t do anything to me and every mormon I`ve meet seems to be an extremely nice person. I haven`t run across one of the real whackos though. Every group has those though. Except New Age people and Wiccans. And anyone who says Chi or chakra - they`re all whack jobs.
  41. Profile photo of JJXanadu
    JJXanadu Male 30-39
    516 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 8:00 pm
    "I`m not a mormon, that should be obvious from the comment I made below... sorry you`re a mormon with a missing `m`."

    Wait... an ormon? I don`t get it ;P

  42. Profile photo of pandasrul
    pandasrul Female 13-17
    26 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 8:06 pm
    lol
    im mormen
    rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl
    :-D
  43. Profile photo of SilverThread
    SilverThread Male 30-39
    3435 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 8:40 pm
    OMMFG. Gotta be the Funniest Gorram thing I`ve seen this year. Awesome!
  44. Profile photo of x_lvlalfoy_x
    x_lvlalfoy_x Female 18-29
    92 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 10:03 pm
    Wow, I actually lol`d. :D good post.
  45. Profile photo of stagefreak
    stagefreak Male 18-29
    379 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 10:12 pm
    lol... is that a Roman fighting a Native American Indian?

    this is great!

  46. Profile photo of thatjimguy
    thatjimguy Male 30-39
    458 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 10:29 pm
    Lionheart,

    We believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ. The LDS church is about bringing forth, in scripture, plain and simple truths lost to world. It offers so much that can change lives. I know that many of you will only listen to the quick sound bite or witty quip that will finalize your decision to ever hear from us. However, I hope that some of you will.

    BTW, LionHeart, if it was all about sex, wouldn`t we be the biggest church in the world? Howard Stern would be promoting it from the rooftops if it were.

  47. Profile photo of OhNoeItsElmo
    OhNoeItsElmo Male 13-17
    92 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 10:35 pm
    "sex with a persian in order to provide mormon jesus" 1:20 XDDD
  48. Profile photo of python207
    python207 Male 18-29
    3 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 10:56 pm
    i all ready feel the black flames of hel l eating my soul!!! XD
  49. Profile photo of Gigaman
    Gigaman Male 18-29
    161 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 11:35 pm
    --->JJXanadu
    "I`m not a mormon, that should be obvious from the comment I made below... sorry you`re a mormon with a missing `m`."

    Wait... an ormon? I don`t get it ;P
    <---->

    this should be a real forehead slapper for you XD its moron not ormon...

  50. Profile photo of kat_iiejayne
    kat_iiejayne Female 13-17
    299 posts
    March 21, 2009 at 11:50 pm
    looool
  51. Profile photo of Ceebs119
    Ceebs119 Male 18-29
    42 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 12:29 am
    funny, though i wouldn`t mind mockery that was more overt, less unintelligible.

    Mormons: dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

  52. Profile photo of Lionhart2
    Lionhart2 Male 40-49
    8309 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 1:42 am
    > thatjimguy
    > We believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ

    Actually, Jesus never said anything about invisible magic plates and making new rules up; He DID on the other hand specifically say there would be NO more prophecies given to man till He came again; that anyone who added to the Bible was evil; and that there were plenty of false prophets out there. So yes, he did mention the Mormons I guess. As ridiculous as my previous comment sounds, that IS the foundation of your sect, a fact studiously whitewashed over as much as possible these days.

  53. Profile photo of gluebottle
    gluebottle Female 18-29
    161 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 2:19 am
    That was fabulous!
  54. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17515 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 3:49 am
    I wouldn`t normally laugh at something that makes fun of some people`s religion, But this was just too hilarious.

    If you can`t laugh at this because you think you`ll rot in hell, You`re waaaaaay too uptight.

  55. Profile photo of keith2
    keith2 Male 18-29
    2587 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 4:12 am
    that shxt was funny flat out
  56. Profile photo of corrine26
    corrine26 Female 18-29
    70 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 5:39 am
    Certain mods on IAB really come off as being douchebags. Mormons believe what they want to believe, just as every other group of people does (Muslums, Scientologists, Jews, Hindus, Athiests...) Who are they hurting with their beliefs? No one. You just hate on them because you think you have the "better" secret to the nature of the universe.

    Oh, the video sucked

  57. Profile photo of drixishot
    drixishot Male 18-29
    369 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 6:47 am
    mormons are creepy
  58. Profile photo of vulcan_haha
    vulcan_haha Male 18-29
    21 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 7:33 am
    See, its this kind of thing that makes me proud to be American. Corrine? Check our Bill of Rights. See: Speech, Freedom of. Besides, if you think this isn`t funny, you`re not allowed to watch Farting Preacher.

    Sheesh, I`m a christian and I thought that was freaking hilarious; and because I can laugh at myself I am free to laugh at others.

  59. Profile photo of lucehLOW
    lucehLOW Female 18-29
    357 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 8:44 am
    the ending was the best =]

    xlucyx

  60. Profile photo of bocaj90
    bocaj90 Female 70 & Over
    31 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 10:59 am
    that was EPIC!!!
  61. Profile photo of catbarf
    catbarf Male 18-29
    1455 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 11:19 am
    "He DID on the other hand specifically say there would be NO more prophecies given to man till He came again; that anyone who added to the Bible was evil"

    It`s not like the Bible was written once and then kept unchanged. There are equally-holy passages that were simply left out of the versions we know today.

  62. Profile photo of Tailz120
    Tailz120 Male 18-29
    18 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 1:39 pm
    Dear Lionheart,

    The passage you are thinking of is Revelations 22:18-19. It says:

    For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:

    And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.

    However, this does not mean that there can be no more prophecy. Moses himself wrote something similar in Deuteronomy 4:2

    Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.

    And when John wrote Revelations, there was no bible. The book had yet to be compiled. So, he couldn`t possibly be referring to the bible.

    Next time you try bashing LDS doctrine, please get your facts straight first.

  63. Profile photo of Freelop
    Freelop Male 18-29
    442 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 3:35 pm
    I remeber the original video being posted here, that was funny on its own but this is great
  64. Profile photo of Lionhart2
    Lionhart2 Male 40-49
    8309 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 3:52 pm
    > Tailz120
    > Dear Lionheart, The passage you are thinking of is Revelations 22:18-19. Blah blah Next time you try bashing LDS doctrine, please get your facts straight first.

    I`m being lectured by someone whose knowledge of the Bible is SO GOOD that they get the name of the book wrong... It`s Revelation. So sorry if I dismiss everything you say after that as coming from an ignoramus...

  65. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11742 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 4:05 pm
    Wow, that was one of the weirdest drug induced videos I`ve ever seen. Was that about Jesus or Superman?
  66. Profile photo of Abacab2112
    Abacab2112 Male 18-29
    433 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 5:35 pm
    That was actually much funnier than I expected.
  67. Profile photo of OMGPWNT
    OMGPWNT Male 13-17
    94 posts
    March 22, 2009 at 7:44 pm
    Lionhart is my hero haha
  68. Profile photo of Devi3000
    Devi3000 Female 18-29
    1497 posts
    March 23, 2009 at 3:43 am
    Hey Lion I think the idiot Mormon was incorrectly using the plural form of the Book Revelation. Sort of equal to the fact you over use, and incorrectly use, ellipsis at the end of sentences. So I guess you are both ignoramuses.
  69. Profile photo of Frogtango
    Frogtango Male 13-17
    1720 posts
    March 23, 2009 at 3:44 am
    Okay is this brain washing or something. I dont want to become a mormon.
  70. Profile photo of Sabre200000
    Sabre200000 Male 18-29
    1039 posts
    March 23, 2009 at 8:31 am
    LOL...Joseph Smith...LOL
  71. Profile photo of Sabre200000
    Sabre200000 Male 18-29
    1039 posts
    March 23, 2009 at 8:35 am
    I get a kick out of the whole caffeine thing too.

    You simply can not avoid it. Nearly every food produced has caffeine in it. Including gum and jelly beans...etc.

  72. Profile photo of thatjimguy
    thatjimguy Male 30-39
    458 posts
    March 23, 2009 at 11:13 am
    Lionheart

    Also, the book of Revelation was written by and of itself. The bible was not compiled until later. So when the author talked of no more should be added to the book, they meant Revelation specifically.

    One more thing, to me it`s not the literalness that means anything when it comes to scripture, it`s the teachings and lessons we get from it that matter most.

    So people can say whatever they want about the stories and literalness of the Bible and the Book of Mormon, it`s the IDEAS that matter. The Book of Mormon is ideas for THIS day and age, (not like the Old Testament when God was just laying waste to everyone. If you ever wondered about that BTW, it`s because back in that day, we were barbarians and wouldn`t not listen to reason.)

  73. Profile photo of thatjimguy
    thatjimguy Male 30-39
    458 posts
    March 23, 2009 at 11:22 am
    Sabre20000,

    Actually the caffeine thing is really about not being addicted to stuff. Back then, coffee, tea, and alcohol were the main things to get addicted to.

    Caffeine is in chocolate, Pepsi and Coke yet they are allowed to be used. Also, McDonalds double cheeseburgers are terrible for you, but they allow that too.

    It seems confusing if you are trying to pin it down, but the IDEA is to just be healthy. The "Word of Wisdom", as we call it, also calls for the consumption of meat sparingly.

    These things were said over 150 years ago, before Starbucks (with coffee that has 6 cans of Coca Cola worth of caffeine in it), and mass produced farms (with massive growth hormones given to cattle)

    Believe it to be from God or not, you have to admit that`s rather impressive that they got this wisdom way back then.

  74. Profile photo of boglob
    boglob Male 18-29
    63 posts
    March 23, 2009 at 1:41 pm
    Making fun of religion is my favorite thing in the whole wide world
  75. Profile photo of BunnyNaku
    BunnyNaku Female 18-29
    5224 posts
    March 23, 2009 at 2:23 pm
    skjdfghkshjdf hahaha man
  76. Profile photo of andystevens
    andystevens Male 18-29
    247 posts
    March 23, 2009 at 2:57 pm
    @charlie... That doesn`t look like a lionhart...

    There was no "Bible" until something like 367 AD. A bunch of now-dead white guys voted on what was OK and what was not. And even then and now there are differences in the Roman, Greek and Protestant (um... 1600s) Canons of the so-called "Bible." King James of England got the final say for the Prots. Take that Pope!

  77. Profile photo of Lionhart2
    Lionhart2 Male 40-49
    8309 posts
    March 24, 2009 at 1:37 am
    > Devi3000

    Yeah true about the elipses Devi, its a form of Tourette`s but a much cleaner one than the normal one you hear of. But not quite the same thing, no-one ever got every cent they possess conned out of them by me using extra elipses... ... ...

  78. Profile photo of CharlieA
    CharlieA Male 18-29
    502 posts
    March 24, 2009 at 7:22 am

  79. Profile photo of dougsimpson
    dougsimpson Male 18-29
    230 posts
    March 24, 2009 at 10:37 pm
    LOL, CharlieA!... Do ya think? Pretty obvious to most IABers. They tend to back down from the IAB Alpha Bullies, though. Too funny.

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