Finally Tonight, Jesus -- He`s Everywhere!

Submitted by: Reubrick 8 years ago in

A brief look at the local news coverage of religious apparitions in 2008.
There are 67 comments:
Male 5,190
I have yet to see something like this. Maybe if I smoke more and try harder I too can find an image like this.
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Male 112
When he saw the image, "he immediately quit smoking and drinking."

I wonder what he was smoking. I don`t think he quit for religious reasons.

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Female 4,028
Wow... people totally matrixing here. My goodness... if I wanted to, I could find the image of Garfield in anything too.

Ridiculous... Some of those looked like... well, blobs.

An ice machine made ice?! NO... WAY...

Why does this sh-t make news?

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Male 260
Its funny how these are only ever found in religious countries. Hmmmm. Maybe, just MAYBE, theres a link.
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Female 652
"our ice machine wasn`t working, then the next day there was ice! so i guess it`s just the miracle of jesus" are you FU**ING KIDDING ME??

holy balls.

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Male 1,365
And God sent his only begotten son so that he may become one with cheese, and bless man with his tasty goodness, so that they will love to eat the body of the christ in the form of CHeetohs, and Cheese samiches`. Who doubts the power of such an awesome god???? I think I will go and get some mountain dew and some Cheetohs (Christ on a cracker) and be forgiven for my indescretions..can I get an Amen?
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Male 2,172
I wiped my ass once and there was what looked like the image of Jesus that appeared on the toilet paper but then I recalled that nobody knows what Jesus actually looked like and that image of Jesus we all see in church is actually fictional american/european Jesus.

Today, everyone knows that Jesus was a paki.

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Female 2
"Sweet jesus!" hahahahha

oh come on...
If I was looking for the face of Barry Bonds, I would find the face of Barry Bonds everywhere. SUPRISE!

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Male 8,302
I see Jesus in the mirror every morning... oh wait no that`s God...
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Male 176
I saw his apperition this morning but I had to flush.
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Male 472
u saw Jesus in family guy
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Male 211
"i dunno i sounded stupid to me"

Dee Cache, that was funny.

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Female 1,082
meh
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Female 855
Cain`t git dis haylow off`n mai HAID!
laws
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Female 855
JEEEEEEEEBUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsss.
Jeebus.
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Male 2,582
I saw Jesus on a painting once...and at the temporary labor office too.
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Female 69
Jesus is watching you...especially while your eating it seems...
geez no privacy!
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Male 103
in 3/4 of them i could not see any resemblance to any body, face, or anything
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Male 103
"our ice machine has been broken for a long time and all of a sudden i go into the ice machine and there`s new ice"
Yeah right kid, something cannot just appear
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Female 209
Oh my Cheezus i see jeasus!! (o_0)
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Male 1,788
"You see what you want to see. Good examples are constellations and finding shapes in the clouds."

You shut your mouth, that elephant was real.

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Female 15,763
Jesus appears more places than ghosts...

I don`t think anything can beat Cheesus in ridiculousness, popularity, or cheesy deliciousness.

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Male 516
"hey steve i think they proved jesus did exist, now i dont know if they proved he had magical powers to create fish and wine and walk on water and what not
but still"

Oh yeah, no doubt that he exists.
I see him walk around the halls at school all the time. He`s got a moustache, short hair, a bit chubby, and he`s usually pushing a cart full of cleaning apparati.

He even does what the Bible said he would!

Cleans up our messes all the time.

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Female 1,652
"There`s a hay-low above his hay-uhd!" That one made me giggle.

Pareidolia, pareidolia, pareidolia. You see what you want to see. Good examples are constellations and finding shapes in the clouds.

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Male 787
The piece of wood one looked pretty cool. Same with the rock
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Female 602
Haha... Cheesus... :-)
Did anyone else think that the Jesus in the sink looked more like Darth Vader...?
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Male 265
Wow this made me hungry more then anything...
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Male 788
Did the black lady say

A Burnt toast?

i dunno i sounded stupid to me

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Male 928
I love the gap in logic between "hey, this looks like a face" and "hey, this must be a sign from God." The human brain has evolved to pick out faces. The front of a car looks like a face. If I look at my dresser the right way, the wood grain forms a face. This is undoubtedly the same phenomenon responsible for people seeing the faces of "ghosts" and "Satan`s" face in the smoke over the WTC. People need to acknowledge that their own cognitive biases are capable of skewing their perceptions of reality.
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Male 1,091
`The haylo is aboove his hay`d.`
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Male 1,837
i saw "jesus" on a banana piece.

he tasted good

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Male 3,425
Anf nobody even knew what Jesus looked like, there were no paintings of him. So when they see some bearded guy, why do they suddenly associatte him with Jesus. Who`s to say Jesus didn`t have a mullet, a handlebar mustache and mutton chops?
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Male 3,425
I hate American news reports. So a compilation! Aaaaaaaagh!!!
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Male 1,220
I vote a bucket of filth.
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Female 189
interesting...
I watched up to 2:34 I couldn`t take much more.
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Male 75
This video just annoyed me, if I had a piece of toast with a picture of a bearded guy on it, I would just eat it
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Male 1,072
What idiots!
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Female 961
5:02 does look like vadar. man i am so tired of jesus and mary`s face being seen everywhere. half of that stuff looks like blobs. i`m going to die of laughter if someone proves that jesus looks completely different then we imagined
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Male 339
hey steve i think they proved jesus did exist, now i dont know if they proved he had magical powers to create fish and wine and walk on water and what not
but still
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Female 1,653
I just had a great idea of how to make money fast, using nothing but a cornflake and some scissors XD
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Male 2,148
I know these people are idiots, but if I ever met one I probably wouldn`t argue that it isn`t Jesus. If they have the faith to believe that burnt toast looks like Jesus, I`m not going to try to take that away from them, no matter how big of a stretch it is to say that it looks like a person.
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Male 29
So what a little patch of mildew on my bath room floor looks like Hitler you don`t see me making of fuss of it...
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Female 1,412
=/
some of these are just shapes. =\
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Male 249
5:02 looks like darth vadar not jesus....
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Male 1,153
i cant believe people actually believe that jesus is appearing somewhere. how are people so stupid and gullable.
i bet jesus didnt even exist. and if he did, he probably didnt look like people think he did.
why are people so desperate to find pictures of `the saviour`? i guess theyr all a bit insecure..
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Male 4,290
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Male 6
I think it`s sad that the image people hold of Jesus is a white guy with a goatee.
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Male 338
cheesus.
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Male 639
This is where the Muslims have got it right. You don`t hear of them finding images of Allah in anything.
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Male 3,819
Keks -- I see goatse too! It`s a sign, man!
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Male 3,819
Once, while eating wings, I saw the image of Terry Bradshaw in a cup of ranch dressing. Am I blessed?
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Male 11,740
The ha-low is above the hay-ud. Love that suthern accent.

These people are all nutty.

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Male 609
OMG.... and i thought the Arabs where insane, some of you Americans are NUT JOBS
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Male 1,894
Oh
My
Cheesus

I saw Jesus once, but he turned out to be a latino man, and he pronounced his name "Hey-sus."

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Male 133
Jesus is in my pants.
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Female 4,039
Ah, yes, ice - that is a miracle of Jesus. Jesus, the ice machine repairman, that is.
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Female 92
Cheesus. :D
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Male 180
Jesus, that was hilarious.
Just too many funny moments to quote, but my favourite was "Is it a holy image, or a bucket of *filth*!" at around the 1min mark.

4*

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Male 155
Im waiting for Jesus in a can
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Male 45
this is so freakin ridiculous.
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Male 588
Looks more like goatse to me:

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Male 650
Staring at clouds
Advanced level
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Male 156
1:37 looks more like Iron Man
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Male 309
The granite guy believes in jesus but doesnt believe in genesis?
he says its cool to think that the image of our creater was here millions of years ago" or something like that.
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Male 10,440
hahaha. "Is it a holy image or a bucket of filth?". Well...

He`s also in my ass.

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Female 42
People are insane.
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Male 2
Link: Finally Tonight, Jesus -- He`s Everywhere! [Rate Link] - A brief look at the local news coverage of religious apparitions in 2008.
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