Rockin' in the free world since 2005.

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Date: 03/10/09 12:00 PM

118 Responses to Chuck Norris Punched His Way Out Of The Womb Today

  1. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18499 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 11:25 am
    Link: Chuck Norris Punched His Way Out Of The Womb Today - Happy 69th Birthday, Chuck. Fact: No other birthdays exist today, only Chucks. What your favorite Chuck Norris fact?
  2. Profile photo of sagahar
    sagahar Male 18-29
    18 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:10 pm
    DEATHMATCH!
  3. Profile photo of moojuiceman
    moojuiceman Male 18-29
    924 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:10 pm
    chuck norris can kill two stones with one bird. he also won connect 4 in 3 moves.
  4. Profile photo of The-Sentinel
    The-Sentinel Male 18-29
    1150 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:11 pm
    Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin he built with his bare hands...

    nice wrestling chuck :P

  5. Profile photo of Ninmir
    Ninmir Female 18-29
    44 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:14 pm
    Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

    If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can`t, you may be seconds away from death.

  6. Profile photo of joe_cox4
    joe_cox4 Male 18-29
    45 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:15 pm
    chuck norris can slam a revolving door
  7. Profile photo of joe_cox4
    joe_cox4 Male 18-29
    45 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:18 pm
    chuck norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage
  8. Profile photo of joe_cox4
    joe_cox4 Male 18-29
    45 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:19 pm
    there is no theory of evolution, only a list of creatures chuck norris allowed to live
  9. Profile photo of s0rd3dvis1on
    s0rd3dvis1on Male 18-29
    2389 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:20 pm
    chuck norris cheated death

    Theres some things you can`t buy for everything else there`s chuck norris

    chuck norris doesn`t sleep he waits

  10. Profile photo of IAm1337
    IAm1337 Male 13-17
    45 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:23 pm
    Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

    Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves.

  11. Profile photo of grrzzlybear
    grrzzlybear Female 18-29
    9 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:23 pm
    Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
    Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
  12. Profile photo of ConverseUK
    ConverseUK Male 18-29
    1271 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:25 pm
    Chuck Norris won the World series of Poker...

    ...with a hand consisting of: 2 of Clubs, 7 of Diamonds, Mr Bun the Baker, a `get out of jail free` card, and a passport photo of himself.

  13. Profile photo of jjcruiser13
    jjcruiser13 Female 18-29
    706 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:29 pm
    Chuck Norris doesn`t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

    The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

  14. Profile photo of ConverseUK
    ConverseUK Male 18-29
    1271 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:29 pm
    Chuck Norris once lost a fight to the death...

    He called for a rematch.

  15. Profile photo of WolfStar
    WolfStar Female 18-29
    455 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:36 pm
    When the Bogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    If you have 5 dollars and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

  16. Profile photo of darthzew
    darthzew Male 18-29
    201 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:40 pm
    Today is also my grandfather`s birthday.

    He died of alcoholism 14 years ago.

  17. Profile photo of Kane132
    Kane132 Male 18-29
    374 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:41 pm
    chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad
  18. Profile photo of akijade
    akijade Female 18-29
    1006 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:41 pm
    When Chuck Norris falls into a river, he doesn`t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norrised.
  19. Profile photo of Oystah
    Oystah Female 40-49
    4033 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:55 pm
    Chuck Norris never throws up - he throws down.

  20. Profile photo of GEoDLeto
    GEoDLeto Male 30-39
    243 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 12:57 pm
    You could see that bear finally realizing: oh f*** me, I just messed with Chuck Norris.

    What they did not show though was right after this clip ends, Chuck Norris turns this bear into a barbeque feast, a fur coat, a skull paper weight and fine bone tooth picks with only using his pinkies...

  21. Profile photo of RandyTheFool
    RandyTheFool Male 18-29
    820 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 1:07 pm
    F*ck Chuck.

    *checks self for any Chuck Norris related injuries*

    Nope, still here.

  22. Profile photo of NobiNob
    NobiNob Male 18-29
    13 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 1:10 pm
    The second Chuck Norris was born the nurse said "OMG THATS CHUCK NORRIS" and drated him right there on the spot. It was the third time he had had sex
  23. Profile photo of firetiger16
    firetiger16 Female 18-29
    362 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 1:13 pm
    Chuck Norris doesn`t sleep...he waits.
  24. Profile photo of _Perfection_
    _Perfection_ Male 18-29
    1789 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 1:14 pm
    That video was so fake! If he had really been fighting a bear, the fight would have only lasted 3 seconds until Chuck Norris won.
  25. Profile photo of domisgood
    domisgood Male 18-29
    4868 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 1:15 pm
    i love how his shirt never came untucked lol
  26. Profile photo of a1butcher
    a1butcher Male 40-49
    4812 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 1:25 pm
    Champions are the Breakfast for Chuck Norris
  27. Profile photo of je_scream
    je_scream Female 18-29
    763 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 1:49 pm
    He`s almost 70?!!! what the...how the bear gonna walk away,lol, that`s a g.
  28. Profile photo of tazman321
    tazman321 Male 13-17
    190 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 1:51 pm
    "F*ck Chuck.
    *checks self for any Chuck Norris related injuries*

    Nope, still here."

    chuck norris is killing you from the inside

  29. Profile photo of Mikeado
    Mikeado Male 18-29
    2160 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 1:58 pm
    He does not sleep, he waits - just like the main character from the new GTA IV extension...

    I actually have a book of 400 CN facts. Hey, don`t look at me like that, I was in a book shop - it was the most interesting thing there...

  30. Profile photo of fknloser
    fknloser Male 30-39
    418 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 1:58 pm
    When chuck walks, he doesnt move, the earth moves at his pace .... ( i had to get permission from chuck to mention his name, and to exist )
  31. Profile photo of Boredx12
    Boredx12 Female 13-17
    1655 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 2:04 pm
    Lee Harvey Oswald didn`t kill JFK.
    Chuck Norris went back in time and caught the bullet. JFK`s head just exploded with the shock XD
  32. Profile photo of JacobTrue13
    JacobTrue13 Male 18-29
    260 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 2:09 pm
    Chuck Norris is a complete prick. He`s a peice of sh*t neo-con who PRETENDED top beat people up on a TV show. F*ck you Chuck Norris. The world will be a better place when you are gone.
  33. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7936 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 2:15 pm
    "Chuck Norris is a complete prick. He`s a peice of sh*t neo-con who PRETENDED top beat people up on a TV show. F*ck you Chuck Norris. The world will be a better place when you are gone."

    HES JUST KIDDING CHUCK!

    (and in case he isn`t then his views don`t represent this website)

  34. Profile photo of gbarbeito
    gbarbeito Female 18-29
    14 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 2:19 pm
    after typing in "find chuck norris" on google and clicking "im feeling lucky".

    Google won`t search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don`t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.


    No standard web pages containing all your search terms were found.

    Your search - Chuck Norris - did not match any documents.

    Suggestions:

    Run, before he finds you
    Try a different person

  35. Profile photo of ReesesPieces
    ReesesPieces Female 18-29
    1692 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 2:21 pm
    AHEM.... my fave:
    Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands, now they`re just Islands.

    XD

  36. Profile photo of Cyberfraud
    Cyberfraud Male 18-29
    5 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 2:26 pm
    If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  37. Profile photo of videogamer
    videogamer Male 18-29
    3016 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 2:26 pm
    Did you know that the 69 was invented as a present for Chuck Norris` 69th birthday?
  38. Profile photo of clone_of_god
    clone_of_god Male 18-29
    109 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 2:26 pm
    chuck norris` tears can cure cancer...
    too bad he never cried
  39. Profile photo of feiku
    feiku Female 18-29
    526 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 2:27 pm
    Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren`t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
  40. Profile photo of joklocke
    joklocke Male 13-17
    41 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 2:33 pm
    my favorite: Chuck Norris puts the laughter in slaughter.
    my 2nd favorite: Chuck Norris died 10 years ago, but death is too scared to get him
  41. Profile photo of SaltyVarnish
    SaltyVarnish Male 18-29
    678 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 2:35 pm
    crop circles.........Chuck Norris`s way of telling corn to lay the f*@k down.
  42. Profile photo of Pallal
    Pallal Male 18-29
    76 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 2:42 pm
    Actually its my birthday today. Your sources fail you.
  43. Profile photo of TheFiggy
    TheFiggy Female 13-17
    63 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 2:49 pm
    Pallal: Actually its my birthday today. Your sources fail you.


    And your comprehension of Chuck Norris jokes FAILS you.

  44. Profile photo of Pallal
    Pallal Male 18-29
    76 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 2:52 pm
    I know of the jokes >.> and i was making one too.
  45. Profile photo of TheFiggy
    TheFiggy Female 13-17
    63 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 2:54 pm
    Then I am the one who is lacking in comprehension. I apologize.

    Unless your joke just sucks :P

  46. Profile photo of XVectorX
    XVectorX Male 13-17
    17 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 3:03 pm
    Your sources fail man... It`s my friends birthday today.
  47. Profile photo of ragon2727
    ragon2727 Male 18-29
    30 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 3:09 pm
    Chuck Norris beat the sun at a staring contest
  48. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15782 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 3:24 pm
    I heard he`s actually kinda short in person...
  49. Profile photo of habbazoot
    habbazoot
    2132 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 3:30 pm
    Chuck Norris once ate three 75 oz. stakes in an hour. During 45 minutes of that hour he was having sex with the waitress
  50. Profile photo of MykeUK
    MykeUK Male 18-29
    364 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 3:32 pm
    There is no chin behind Chuck Norris`s beard, only another fist.
  51. Profile photo of crimsonattck
    crimsonattck Male 18-29
    364 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 3:33 pm
    chuck norris is not short. your eyes merely fail to comprehend his height. xD
  52. Profile photo of FlameOfUdun
    FlameOfUdun Male 18-29
    1222 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 3:33 pm
    Chuck Norris can divide by 0.
  53. Profile photo of Rick_S
    Rick_S Male 40-49
    3275 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 3:46 pm
    Chuck Norris is not old, merely much more experienced than you.
  54. Profile photo of Rick_S
    Rick_S Male 40-49
    3275 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 3:47 pm
    Happy Chuck`s Birthday to you, Pallal!
  55. Profile photo of busdrivertm
    busdrivertm Male 30-39
    192 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 3:55 pm
    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that`s why there are no signs of life there.
  56. Profile photo of MissMage
    MissMage Female 18-29
    697 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 3:57 pm
    Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
    God didn`t hurl Satan into hell. Chuck Norris did.
    Chuck Norris doesn`t breathe. He holds air hostage.
  57. Profile photo of jennifer6716
    jennifer6716 Female 13-17
    471 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 4:16 pm
    The quickest way to a man`s heart is with Chuck Norris` fist.

    Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken`s famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

  58. Profile photo of panth753
    panth753 Female 18-29
    9183 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 4:17 pm
    Jesus walks on water, Chuck Norris swims on land.

    If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound? Yes, Chuck Norris can. Chuck Norris hears everything...

  59. Profile photo of dre5922
    dre5922 Male 18-29
    259 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 4:21 pm
    Chuck Norris had sex in a semi truck once, a bit of his s*m*n got in the engine. Now we have Optimus Prime.
  60. Profile photo of dado000
    dado000 Male 18-29
    3 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 4:27 pm
    isnt it bin ladens birthday today? he`s 52, happy birthday to him
  61. Profile photo of RLHope275
    RLHope275 Female 18-29
    107 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 4:28 pm
    Before the Boogie Man goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

  62. Profile photo of PacoP42
    PacoP42 Male 13-17
    1064 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 4:37 pm
    my freind`s b-day is today. and i`m not lying.
  63. Profile photo of slopbucket01
    slopbucket01 Male 18-29
    1 post
    March 10, 2009 at 4:38 pm
    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
  64. Profile photo of fillemorte
    fillemorte Female 18-29
    741 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 4:54 pm
    chuck norris is a pisces!

    HA

    He`s at the top of his game

  65. Profile photo of ParasyT
    ParasyT Male 13-17
    533 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 4:59 pm
    chuck norris killed two stones with one bird

    chuck norris knows what scroll lock does

  66. Profile photo of ParasyT
    ParasyT Male 13-17
    533 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 5:00 pm
    chuck norris` calendar goes from march 31 to april second: nobody fools chuck norris
  67. Profile photo of MykeUK
    MykeUK Male 18-29
    364 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 5:53 pm
    Chuck Norris was the fourth Wise Man in the Nativity. He brought the gift of beard. Jesus loved the gift so much that he wore it constantly from that day forward. The other three Wide Men were so jealous that they had Chuck written out of the bible. Soon afterwards, however, it transpired that all three Wise Men had died with mysterious round-house-kick-to-the-face type injuries.
  68. Profile photo of MykeUK
    MykeUK Male 18-29
    364 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 5:55 pm
    There is no list of extinct animals, only a list of animals that Chuck allows to live.
  69. Profile photo of MapleFr3ak
    MapleFr3ak Male 13-17
    629 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 6:05 pm
    Chuck Norris once took a vacation in the Virgin Islands. From then on they were just called the Islands.
  70. Profile photo of Smiley-Guy
    Smiley-Guy Male 13-17
    30 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 6:14 pm
    Chuck Norris has a vacation home deep within the Carrabean Sea, today this is know to us as the Burmuda Triangle--Chuck Norris doesn`t allow trespassers.
  71. Profile photo of sTuFFt
    sTuFFt Male 13-17
    72 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 6:30 pm
    Chuck Norris doesn`t do push-ups. He pushes the earth down.
  72. Profile photo of dragonshadoz
    dragonshadoz Female 18-29
    4033 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 6:42 pm
    Seriously, what the hell is with this Chuck Norris frenzy? I must admit, it is getting to be a little annoying.
  73. Profile photo of Negative_One
    Negative_One Male 30-39
    2584 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 6:45 pm
    Jesus has a bumper sticker that says "WWCND?".
  74. Profile photo of Treli1337
    Treli1337 Male 13-17
    249 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 6:46 pm
    In honor of Chuck Norris, the mayor of Dallas decided to name a street after him. The only thing is, that street was the #1 dangerous road for pedestrians.
    Nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives
  75. Profile photo of Mah_Boi
    Mah_Boi Male 18-29
    606 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 6:46 pm
    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
  76. Profile photo of Treli1337
    Treli1337 Male 13-17
    249 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 6:47 pm
    oh and today is one of my friend`s 15th birthdays lol
    sorry chuck norris.
  77. Profile photo of AchLstStnd
    AchLstStnd Male 30-39
    144 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 6:52 pm
    Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday, it`s just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you.

    Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

    It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

    If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he`d kick your ass.

  78. Profile photo of Encie
    Encie Female 13-17
    7 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 7:06 pm
    todays MY birthday!!!!!!! hahahahah!!!
  79. Profile photo of Ani187
    Ani187 Female 30-39
    4448 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 7:26 pm
    Happy birthday?
  80. Profile photo of SirSpanky
    SirSpanky Male 13-17
    31 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 7:51 pm
    Chuck Norris is the only man who can wear a fanny pack, and look cool, sexy, and intimidating at the same time.

    Also his fanny pack is where he keeps the souls of all of his roundhouse victims.

  81. Profile photo of SuperJesus
    SuperJesus Male 13-17
    388 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 8:06 pm
    Chuck Norris was originally meant to star in the show 24, but was cut because the producers realized the show would only last seventeen minutes.
  82. Profile photo of DuckBoy87
    DuckBoy87 Male 18-29
    3144 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 8:32 pm
    My nephew was born this morning at 1AM...

    He shares a birthday with Chuck freaking Norris!!!

  83. Profile photo of TKD_Master
    TKD_Master Male 18-29
    4794 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 8:46 pm
    when the boogeyman goes to bed at night, it checks under its bed for chuck norris.
  84. Profile photo of banditwing
    banditwing Male 18-29
    50 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 8:48 pm
    punch it in the uvula!
  85. Profile photo of SilverThread
    SilverThread Male 30-39
    3435 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 9:54 pm
    How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
  86. Profile photo of manolored
    manolored Female 18-29
    6 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 10:20 pm
    CHUCK NORRIS got into a fight with a very poisonous snake and the snake bit him and after 5 minutes of horrible pain the snake died
  87. Profile photo of MadhatterVTR
    MadhatterVTR Male 18-29
    198 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 10:42 pm
    i was hoping he would roundhouse kick the bear in the face!!
  88. Profile photo of Fa11enAnge1z
    Fa11enAnge1z Male 18-29
    285 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 10:46 pm
    when babies are born, they cry not because they are spanked, but because they have the innate fear that chuck norris still roams the earth
  89. Profile photo of Lionhart2
    Lionhart2 Male 40-49
    8309 posts
    March 10, 2009 at 10:51 pm
    > DuckBoy87
    > My nephew was born this morning at 1AM...
    > He shares a birthday with Chuck freaking Norris!!!

    AND an IQ!!!

  90. Profile photo of jamesuyt
    jamesuyt Male 13-17
    680 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 12:15 am
    Chuck Norris` left testicle was so big, that it detached from his body and started orbiting the Sun. Today, it is known as `Jupiter`.


    Also, another testicle grew in its place, so he still has two attached to him..

  91. Profile photo of _optimusmars
    _optimusmars Male 18-29
    103 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 12:38 am
    chuck norris was fighting a bear once... then it left.


    thats the best i got =P

  92. Profile photo of Ninja-Nerd
    Ninja-Nerd Male 18-29
    139 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 3:35 am
    Chuck Norris is always on top, mainly because he never F**ks up!

    When Chuck Norris jumps into a river, he doesn`t get wet... The water gets Chuck Norrised.

  93. Profile photo of mehh
    mehh Female 18-29
    528 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 5:26 am
    Chuck Norris can find the square root of -1
  94. Profile photo of h0ax_d3m0n
    h0ax_d3m0n Male 18-29
    2513 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 5:49 am
    Two wrongs don`t make a right. Unless you`re Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.

    When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.

    Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

  95. Profile photo of emmajean89
    emmajean89 Female 18-29
    54 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 7:17 am
    When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesnt push up, he pushes the earth down.
  96. Profile photo of poetry
    poetry Male 18-29
    37 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 8:42 am
    who`d win in a fight between chuck norris and god

    trick question, chuck norris IS god

  97. Profile photo of ESQUEIRO
    ESQUEIRO Male 30-39
    135 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 11:00 am
    flashback to 2006, when this stuff wasn`t old. now it`s just dumb.
  98. Profile photo of gorgack2000
    gorgack2000 Male 13-17
    4683 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 11:09 am
    Chuck Norris actually tore the bear in half when he fought it, but it was too awesome for TV so it was edited.

    Also I find it weird when I remember my grandma`s the same age as Chuck...

  99. Profile photo of ballaking14
    ballaking14 Male 18-29
    10 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 3:26 pm
    jesus walks on water, chuck norris walks on jesus hahha
  100. Profile photo of SM25
    SM25 Male 13-17
    562 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 5:53 pm
    Chuck norris for President of Earth!
  101. Profile photo of SM25
    SM25 Male 13-17
    562 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 5:59 pm
    If you have 1 Dollar and Chuck Norris has 1 Dollar, he has more money then you.
  102. Profile photo of maedene
    maedene Male 18-29
    291 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 7:51 pm
    In the morning, Chuck Norris grinds coffee beans with his teeth and boils the coffee with his own rage.
  103. Profile photo of maedene
    maedene Male 18-29
    291 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 7:55 pm
    Chuck Norris has actually been for 5 years, death is just too afaid to take his soul.

    Chuck Norris` home has no corners, for only he can appreciate the pure supremenss of the round-house

  104. Profile photo of Winter_ICE_0
    Winter_ICE_0 Male 13-17
    976 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 8:27 pm
    Chuck Norris clogs the toilet with his piss.
  105. Profile photo of deathxtra
    deathxtra Male 13-17
    2791 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 9:18 pm
    Chuck norris CAN believe it`s not butter.
  106. Profile photo of deathxtra
    deathxtra Male 13-17
    2791 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 9:20 pm
    When chuck norris jacks off, every woman in the world gets pregnant.
  107. Profile photo of mypreciousss
    mypreciousss Female 18-29
    134 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 9:22 pm
    Chuck Norris doesn`t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
  108. Profile photo of mypreciousss
    mypreciousss Female 18-29
    134 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 9:28 pm
    Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
  109. Profile photo of Joshguy666
    Joshguy666 Male 13-17
    50 posts
    March 11, 2009 at 9:45 pm
    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
  110. Profile photo of sugarfreee
    sugarfreee Female 18-29
    173 posts
    March 12, 2009 at 2:16 am
    Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.

    chuck norris can count from 0 to infinity..TWICE!

  111. Profile photo of Spartano3
    Spartano3 Male 13-17
    234 posts
    March 12, 2009 at 6:53 am
    Lol I have a Chuck Norris calender, but I didn`t find this one in it. "Chuck Norris had a boner, the were no survivors"
  112. Profile photo of crazydaiz
    crazydaiz Female 18-29
    251 posts
    March 12, 2009 at 6:56 am
    Chuck Norris was bored one day so he decided to make a time machine and go back in time to save various historical figures.
    He first went back to the kennedy assasination to save the president.
    The only problem was, when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the bullet, the president`s head exploded out of the sheer awesomeness
  113. Profile photo of Tani6
    Tani6 Female 18-29
    4 posts
    March 12, 2009 at 2:46 pm
    Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight. Not because Chuck Norris is araid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
  114. Profile photo of Grim-Reaper7
    Grim-Reaper7 Male 18-29
    51 posts
    March 13, 2009 at 10:13 pm
    Chuck Norris does sleep he waits.
    Jesus can walk on water Chuck Norris can swim through land.
    Under Chuck Norris` beard isn`t a chin but another fist.
  115. Profile photo of GrandmasterK
    GrandmasterK Male 13-17
    29 posts
    April 12, 2009 at 10:43 am
    every dinosaur skull ever found has the imprint of a size 15 cowboy boot on it
  116. Profile photo of Dinmamma
    Dinmamma Female 13-17
    21 posts
    May 24, 2009 at 2:35 am
    ITS BRUTAL. STOP PINCHING THE BEAR.
  117. Profile photo of DaisyDope
    DaisyDope Female 13-17
    299 posts
    June 7, 2009 at 6:51 am
    Wehn chuck norris falls in water, chuck norris doesnt get wet.

    water gets chuck norris.

  118. Profile photo of MastaPlan23
    MastaPlan23 Male 13-17
    76 posts
    February 7, 2010 at 9:52 pm
    The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.

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