Are You An Alcoholic?

Submitted by: SaintPatty 8 years ago in Quizzes

If you answered yes to 4 or more of the questions, you"re an alcoholic.
There are 110 comments:
Female 1
OMG i`m an alcholic :) oh well alchol tastes good
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Female 8

he...hehe...apperently im not

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Male 188
This was very reassuring!
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Male 55
Well... I don`t drink at all... but I am a popoholic!
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Male 5,189
Well I`m not an alcoholic according to this video.

Think I will go have a drink now...or 2...3

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Female 37
hi
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Female 1,244
I want a drink after watching this. But I`m not an alcoholic according to this video
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Female 779
I did not say yes to any of those :) I prefer coffee
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Female 23
Wow, yes to all.
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Male 29
Yes to all. I drink water all the time.
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Female 53
I am an alcoholic.
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Male 274
yay ive got six
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Male 1,894
Oh it makes me miss the days when I would have answered yes to all of those, but alcahol is no longer my friend.
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Male 1,931
2 yes
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Female 149
I must be a drunk. Yes to 8. Whoops.
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Female 688
im a british teen that occasionally wears a jumper with a hood on, so i dont need to take this test to tell me that im a binge-drinking, knife-yeilding, phone-stealing, gun-shooting alcoholic that needs to be removed from your streets.


i answered yes to 3.

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Female 15,763
Coffee is my poison of choice.
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Female 395
so apparently i`m an alcoholic now. yadda yadda yadda boring.
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Male 364
I didn`t say yes to a single one. So, I`m either sober or boring.
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Female 2,027
couldnt hear it
stupid old thing
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Male 895
phew, only said yes to 3, but Im australian and 17, so, its A O K
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Male 2,172
Wow... and I was under the impression that I was an alchoolic.

Turns out i`m just a drunk.

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Male 312
i thought it was funny how for dramatic effect his voice kept getting lower and lower, until.....

"do you ever take a drink in the morning to relieve a hang over."

haha hell yeah i do. drinking in the morning is the SHIYET.

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Male 10,440
I answered yes to 0 of those questions. So I`m not an alcoholic. But I already knew this.
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Female 1,082
i couldn`t understand him
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Male 759
I answered yes to 6 of those questions.
The man said if i answered yes to 4 or more i may be one of 9 million Americans with a drinking problem.
But i`m English.
So i`m alright then.
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Male 1,184
.. How can you people even understand what this guy is saying? He`s very unclear..
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Female 163
They all got sad and gripped their drinks like a life preserver.
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Male 2,159
Are you an Alcoholic?

Do you drink a shi t load of alcohol? Have an urge?

You`re an alcoholic.

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Male 92
those old commercials with crazy laughing fat men scare me. . .
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Male 2,591
6. i`m not an alcoholic. alcoholics go to meetings.
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Male 55
JoeYC clearly doesn`t have any understanding of life.
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Male 199
i think i got 9 yes` but i`m a student not an alcoholic :)
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Male 690
Hell, I`m drinking right now. That pearl of 1970s wisdom gets lost in the blizzard of substance abuse that has washed over the country in the 40-odd years since. Are you a coke addict? Crackhead? Meth monster? And what`s next? Those might be a little more timely questions. (Swirls drink).
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Male 15,510
Well this was clever but clearly didnt work, what a shame
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Female 761
I don`t drink but this commercial scared the poop out of me, AA here I come.
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Female 495
lol i love it!!
And I rest easy knowing that I am not an alcoholic! Phew!
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Female 579
I don`t drink alcohol regularly at all.
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Male 30
Proud to say no to all questions asked.
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Female 127
ok then so let me start this off;
(I said yes to 5 questions)
Hello IAB, my names Michelle and I`m an "alcoholic".
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Male 131
If you`re a functional alcoholic, what`s the problem? A study a few years ago found that social drinkers are better at networking (therefore increasing the opportunity for developing business relationships) and often have a higher income than non-drinkers. Go alcohol!
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Female 1,412
Ohhh. I said yes to 9. I just couldn`t stomach alchohol with a hangover.
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Female 271
Woot no to all of them haha.
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Female 217
talk about killing the buzz...
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Male 62
Oh god I wish I had the narrator`s voice. I love those PSA guys` voices.
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Female 208
XD I had all no answers....XD
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Female 838
Way to kill the mood of the party dude!

Buzz kill!

Break out the beer bong and lets get this thing goin again!

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Male 298
11. did you ever wake up beside a munter, soaked in your own urine, with the word pu$$y written on your forehead in waterproof marker...?
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Male 4,593
They missed the popular question of: Have you ever passed out naked with your pecker buried in the bunker at a country club because you thought it would be funny to screw a golf course?

Yes! It`s like they KNOW me... perhaps even read my mind. Spooky.

That`s it, time for me to break out my foil hat.

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Male 415
I got three yes answers, the questions are pretty good imo though, not really `ultra conservative` rubbish.
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Male 272
oh my god..... i think i`m american..
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Male 817
I never understood the whole "If you drink alone, you`re an alcoholic" thing.

I only answered "Yes" to three of them.

Do you talk a lot about drinking? Yes, because my boss likes to talk to me about drinking. So I don`t really have a choice.

Do you drink more than you used to? Yes, because when you begin drinking everything pretty much gets you drunk. But after awhile you become a bit used to it so need more to drink to get that same "buzz" as when you first started.

Do you drink alone? Sure do. I love to watch television while sipping a beer or a jack and coke. I never drink socially.

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Male 298
What a load of rubbish, obviously made by some ultra-conservative anti-drink nazis in an attempt to make socialisation seem subversive.... and another thing, I have friends that gave up drinking cos they were worried that it was getting too heavy, and now they`re dull and irritating (like this video).... Jesus first miracle was getting everyone extra hammered at the wedding of Canaan... 40 x 8 gallon urns of wine.... now that`s a party animal i can worship.
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Male 1,596
I`m an alcoholic and i got 1 right
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Male 721
guys who go to university are usualy geeks with long hair and skinny arms. 2 beers and they are gone.
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Male 606
None. Woo?
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Male 588
I think if you go to university you have an automatic 3...or at least most people will...
1. They talk a lot about drinking.
2. They drink more than they used to.
3. They often drink to feel better (after exams for example).
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Male 13
i got 4, but as this only applies to Americans I`m fine :)
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Male 845
hooray! only 3
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Male 305
> this "survey" was created before man set foot on the moon

What are you saying, that this survey was created in a movie studio too???

Nice!

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Male 425
I got 4. Interesting... :P
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Male 2,388
i dont get hangovers :D its all about the secret cure copius amounts of water before you pass out
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Male 8,302
> gozirra
> this "survey" was created before man set foot on the moon

What are you saying, that this survey was created in a movie studio too???

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Male 380
imabout to join the army, pretty much will become an alcoholic eh? :P
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Male 680
Wow.. NIAAA... what a name..

Has a nice ring to it.

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Male 2,238
wow that was really powerful....
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Female 511
Two yes... Yeah I drink more than I used to because I used to not drink at all. And I gulp drinks because we usually end up playing king`s cup and waterfall requires it XD
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Male 561
Someone needs to get that guy a drink.
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Male 1,254
This guy must be the American brother of Buzz Killington.

Anywho, I would have about 4 or 5 three years ago. But drinking in college really made drinking get old fast. So I think I only answered yes to one about drinking alone. I enjoy a beer when I cook on the grill.

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Female 675
2! im okay!
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Male 164
WooHoo only 3 still safe!! o:-)
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Female 1,211
Sobering ad.
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Male 375
Remember though, this "survey" was created before man set foot on the moon. I`m bettin` theres a more accurate one out there on the interwebs...
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Male 5,314
kings cup is better
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Male 807
I`ll drink to that!
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Male 63
uh oh! I said no to only one question.
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Male 4,162
What constitutes as "drinking"? I live alone and sometimes have a beer. is that drinking alone?.
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Female 2
yea, what a debbie downer.
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Female 57
jeez captain downer your bringin` me down! How am i supposed to enjoy my buzz now ><
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Male 1,666
Dang, I got 5
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Female 308
Wow...I got like 1. Quite a few of my family members are alcoholics so I`m trying to be really careful
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Male 1,220
Meh. Never cared for drinking. I`m able to hang out with people without getting drunk.
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Female 178
9.
Damn. I need to quit.
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Male 246
that guy just ruined the party..
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Male 11,739
I got 10 out of 10! Yes, a perfect score!! Woo hoo!! Wait....that`s not a good thing is it?

I don`t drink nearly as much as I used to, and I haven`t been drunk in almost a year.

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Male 1,666
Dang, I got 5
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Male 153
yep i drink too much but i already knew that
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Female 1,677
Buzzkill.

Nah I don`t drink anyway so whatever.

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Female 1,516
This brings back memories of Christmas parties on my father`s side of the family... but those always got violent.
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Male 1,788
I`m in college, my 8 yes answers don`t count.
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Female 4,447
That guy is a downer. He totally ruined the party. =\
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Female 9,560
I said no to all of these questions, so I don`t have to worry about anything.
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Male 438
YAY! I GOT A 100%!!!
*jumps out of window
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Male 2,049
) Do you talk a lot about drinking?
- No
2) Do you drink more than you used to?
- No
3) Do you gulp your drinks?
- yes.
4) Do you often take a drink to feel better?
- sometimes

5) Do you drink alone?
- sometimes

6) Did you ever forget what you did while you were drinking?
- What was this quiz about again?

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Male 338
well 9 out of 10 aint bad, unless a flask counts as a bottle, if so i got a hundred! and my parents doubted me.
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Male 4,004
This test is stupid.

1) Do you talk a lot about drinking?
-nope
2) Do you drink more than you used to?
-nope
3) Do you gulp your drinks?
-nope
4) Do you often take a drink to feel better?
-nope
5) Do you drink alone?
-nope
6) Did you ever forget what you did while you were drinking?
-Yep
7) Do you keep a bottle hidden somewhere for quick pick-me-ups?
-nope
8) Do you sometimes start drinking without really thinking about it?
-nope
9) Do you need a drink to have fun?
-nope
10) Do you ever take a drink in the morning to relieve a hangover?
-nope

Those were my answers when I drank daily, and was at the verge of being what would be called an alcoholic, only difference would be #8, for an additional point, which would still not qualify me as an alcoholic.

But someone who talks about drinking, hides their booze to drink to feel better/relieve stress and uses the "hair of the dog" method would be considered an alcoholi

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Male 719
1) Do you talk a lot about drinking?
- Nope
2) Do you drink more than you used to?
- Not sure what "used to" means. I guess do drink more than I did before I turned 21, 9 months ago. I`ll go with no.
3) Do you gulp your drinks?
- Only when playing drinking games. So yes.
4) Do you often take a drink to feel better?
- On occasion, but no, not often.
5) Do you drink alone?
- Yes.
6) Did you ever forget what you did while you were drinking?
- Yes.
7) Do you keep a bottle hidden somewhere for quick pick-me-ups?
- No.
8) Do you sometimes start drinking without really thinking about it?
- No. Of course I don`t contemplate every implication of drinking, but I`m sure that`s not what it`s asking.
9) Do you need a drink to have fun?
- No.
10) Do you ever take a drink in the morning to relieve a hangover?
- No. I did try once, but that turned out really, really bad.

So 3-4?

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Male 1,091
I have 5 positive answers... and I don`t give a WHAAAT!
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Male 231
that guy`s more of a buzz kill then buzz killington.
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Male 8,302
I`ll just have a whiskey or two to fortify myself before taking this test...
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Male 161
YOU TIGHT! Any alcoholics in here want some nice good alcohol? Go get that rubbing alcohol in your medicine cabinet. Tastes good.
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Female 385
next time no one`s inviting him...jerk
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Male 17,512
That sounds like over half the country.
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Male 564
I couldn`t understand what the dude was saying half the time.
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Male 2,582
Thanks, Cap`n Bringdown!
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Female 4,197
congratulations im an alcoholic!
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Male 396
remember your only an alcoholis if you go to meetings...
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Male 243
lol he`s such a party pooper.
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Male 107
There are no alcoholics, only rummies, wineos and drunks!
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Male 970
Link: Are You An Alcoholic? [Rate Link] - If you answered yes to 4 or more of the questions, you`re an alcoholic.
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