The Coward’s Guide to Picking Up Girls

Submitted by: Nic_Gaybot 8 years ago in
http://coedmagazine.com/sex/54625/

In 6 easy steps and as a girl, I have to say they"re pretty accurate.
There are 61 comments:
Female 72
theres a difference between `probably` and `im sure...` as u put it.
And yes Levon, it is pathetic i agree, f.uck it. im sorry i even bothered with this.
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Male 14,331
You criticize assumptions then make assumptions hmmmm.
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Female 103
This is Pathetic.
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Female 72
Maybe you cant tell the difference between an ass.hole that is putting on a show for his friends so as to show how many girls he can f.uck over in one night, and a man that simply
has the confidence to walk up to a girl he likes
and start a conversation, but i certainly can, hence no i dnt get screwd over by douchebags. Also, im sorry youre the kind of person that judges another`s personality and intellect based on some f.ucking IAB comments, its probably why you dont get p.ussy. And to conclude yes the guy with the attitude is certainly more attractive than the guy that stands in the corner by himself piss.ing his pants everytime a girl walks by.
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Male 14,331
The line between confidence and conceitedness is hard to tell and most of the time you`ll find a douchebag to be confident when he`s actually conceited but I`m sure your the type that will have to get used by one to figure this out for yourself.
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Female 72
and according to you, McGovern, confidence means idiots with popped collars...so now ur shy
and ignorant?
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Female 744
Basically correct. Confidence is sooo important. Even a not so good looking guy can succeed in giving a girl butterflies just by being confident.

Or maybe I`m just into the weird nerdy guys. >_>

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Male 2,245
appropriate song:

Fugazi - Suggestion

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Male 987
" i would rather jump blindfolded off a cliff into water 200 feet below "
done something simmilar, was awesome.
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Male 2,582
Look if you can`t talk to girls/women, deal with it pussy. Just take up drinking or drugs or something, or maybe men are more your style, try that.
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Male 1,406
I lost at 1.
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Male 1,540
Two sides to every coin. More women means higher risk of STDs.
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Male 367
I`m off that cliff with you, last ninja.
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Male 610
wow. this reminds me of how pathetic i am. i can`t even do step 1. i would rather jump blindfolded off a cliff into water 200 feet below than talk to a girl i don`t know
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Male 1,297
lol way to go mcgovern, i dont know where u found that, but now its mine...
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Male 14,331
And then you complain all you can find is this the irony...

yep 4 popped collars douche to the power of 4.
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Female 72
Yes shyness is cowardice. Also shy = boring
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Male 14,331
So according to this shyness is cowardice?
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Male 69
Pretty good actually.
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Female 934
Apparently something on that site is NSFS, because my school blocked it. :/
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Male 4,793
“No way! I like vaginas too. Can I see yours sometime?”

WOAH! this site actually KNOWS me!!
nah im jm, but i did `lol` at that part ^^

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Female 285
Glad to see that most people saw the sexism in this post. It not only stereotypes girls, but also guys.
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Male 1,365
When I was an emotially detached ass who didn`t care, I got action all the time, when I stopped being a dick, I met my wife. So it`s kind of a catch 22. Yes, being a non caring mysogynist will get you laid, but you may miss out on the chick that rocks your world.
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Female 5,139
"Every girl wants different things. There is NO official gonna-work-every-time guide."


mhm..it`s true.

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Male 240
Haha, that`s kinda funny. It`s sorta what I always do. Maybe I`m just an ugly guy haha, or people might find me weird or an assh*le.
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Male 4,546
... Yeah. Back to what some girls were saying about geeky guys. My girl plays DnD with my group (She`s currently working on her own campaign to DM), she`s a computer programmer, and she plays WoW.

Having said that, girls also like douchebags to an extent. Douchebags tend to be confident, which in turn a lot of girls like.

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Female 15,763
Dont, I suggest you stop talking like you know what you`re saying while your avatar and language suggest otherwise.

Also, about the sex, methinks you doth protest too much.

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Female 78
"100% of the time you will go for the fun, kinda douchy guy, who doesnt seem to care either way over the nice guy who brought you flowers. 100%"

Wrong.

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Male 845
then i had sex with her
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Male 845
a girl did it for me and i thought it was funny.
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Male 3,301
vvv So says the guy who photoshopped his own head onto a picture of a male model.
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Male 845
okay i read some of the comments by girls. and apparently all of you are missing the point. you seem to think you are looking for a nice sincere guy, and for a long term relationship. maybe have some nerdy little kids. but youre wrong. in reality it doesnt matter what you girls say, 100% of the time you will go for the fun, kinda douchy guy, who doesnt seem to care either way over the nice guy who brought you flowers. 100%

now i know youre thinking "psht... thats not true at all. i want me a gentleman who opens the door for me and doesnt want sex."

i call shenanigans. you want to be thrown against the door and funked from behind. you want a guy to whisper sometihng dirty in your ear at the bar anw walk away. thats what gives you butterflies.


and guys just want sex. some dont know how to be open about it so they get tricked into getting married for the cutty.

im not trying to be a troll, so dont reply to this. its my opinion.

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Male 845
i take that back. you`re too young.

@girls over 18.

i have all this penis. i was wondering if you want some.

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Male 845
@okasin,

i have all this penis. i was wondering if you want some.

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Male 9,305
Please tell me this is satire. =P
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Female 523
And yes, there are girls who like computer programming. If a guy came up to me and started talking about how he`s a varsity football player who goes to the gym every day, I`d get bored and probably say some less than kind things to him, since it`s obvious he`s a douche.

If a guy came up to me, acting like a decent guy, and started a convo about world issues, literature, or computer-geekery, I would actually listen and be honestly interested in the conversation.

Just try to be a good person and be yourself. If someone doesn`t like who you are then they aren`t the right person.

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Female 523
*facepalm*

There is only one rule- STOP TRYING SO HARD. Ffs, if your main priority is having sex, you`re a douche and you don`t deserve a decent girl. When you are honestly interested in her as a human being, not as a piece of meat, she`ll end up liking you because you aren`t like the other guys who only see one thing. And then it just escalates from there. Basically, just be yourself and stop trying.

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Female 4,447
Not bad advice, though the hitting on ugly girls thing seems douchey. Maybe combine these with yellowsquare`s tips. Though, as Opie said, there`s no definitive way to pick up chicks.
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Male 4,546
Think about it this way: There`s a girl out there who married me.

So, obviously it is possible for anyone, and obviously some people have weird tastes in what they look for.

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Male 1,788
I have little to no game. Luckily I also have a girlfriend and have no need for it.
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Female 209
step number 1) get off the computer, stop looking at steps on how to get girls, and just go for it.
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Female 1,082
agreed yellowsquare. and braber01, yes it does. you would be surprised how many girls enjoy a smart guy`s companionship. for example, my fiance is the biggest nerd. he talks to me about warcraft and computers and star wars. but it`s ok, i like those things too XD.
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Male 221
brabar

computer programmers yes...

VB junkies with no talent..no

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Female 15,763
How about this:

Every girl wants different things. There is NO official gonna-work-every-time guide.

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Male 1,853
I still haven`t used my golden pick up line...I`m working on it, Laura.
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Male 1,219
Why are there so many of these? Are people really having that much trouble? O_o
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Male 153
To Yellowsquare:

Does rule #5 include Coumpter Progrmmers?
Dim Programmer As String ="Braber01"

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Male 163
10:1 Nodar`s a virgin
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Male 231
"Talking to girls isn`t all about getting laid"

coming from experience. i disagree.

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Female 1,545
A Real Guide for Cowardly Men - by Yellowsquare:

1) Don`t be a dick.

2) Seriously don`t "practice hitting" on ugly girls. That`s brutal and mean. And then you look like a dick, which contradicts my first rule.

3) Don`t be a perv.

4) Talking to girls isn`t all about getting laid. And going into a conversation with a (stranger) girl with the intent of getting action is the wrong way to go about it. This directly corresponds with rule 3.

5) Be yourself. There are girls out there who will appreciate your nerd-dom and even tolerate long conversations about Star Wars and WoW.

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Female 83
that sounds pretty accurate. I hate those guys who get all whiny and just go "girls go for the bad guys anyways." It`s more like, the "bad guys" really do have just confidence. I don`t really like pansy guys either. I want a man who can just put his foot down instead of cowering all the time. sooo not attractive at all. Don`t be a yes man.
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Male 2,245
f*ck off quackor, it is possible to be concerned with something besides just getting laid.
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Male 1,837
dystopia04: now`s ur chance to create a good guide to picking up girls.
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Female 1,082
This was uncouth and lame. Try being nice, that`s really all it takes. And I know everyone says "you try being nice and you just get rejected" or "girls dont really want a nice boy". If it`s a girl worth having, trust me, they want a nice and sensitive guy (not overly sensitive though, such as tell her you like cute stuff like babies and kittens but dont cry until about the third date). And most important, be honest and be sincere.
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Male 2,855
thats just another way to get girls amaqdrinker
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Female 4,376
kinda lame and number 2 was just mean.
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Male 4,012
I still suck at picking up girls.

Maybe coz I haven`t done it.

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Male 533
I don`t really think this was anything new. It`s not that cowards don`t know HOW to deal with the womens, it`s just that they freeze up when the opportunity arises.
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Male 2,245
metaphorically speaking, that piece of writing was basically raping shakespeare in his ass.
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Male 31
Lol you like vaginas too? No way so do I! Can I see yours sometime?
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Female 230
Link: The Coward’s Guide to Picking Up Girls [Rate Link] - In 6 easy steps and as a girl, I have to say they`re pretty accurate.
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