9 Weird Methods Once Used Instead Of Toilet Paper

Submitted by: fancylad 8 years ago in
http://regretfulmorning.com/2009/02/9-bizarre-methods-once-used-to-wipe-ass/

Our ancestors weren"t as lucky as us in regards to TP. They had to look around for stuff to use. That stuff was weird.
There are 68 comments:
Male 16
damn, im left handed
0
Reply
Female 1,231
I never really like brownies to begin with... >=0
0
Reply
Male 416
not weed...:(
0
Reply
Female 15,763
So then... I have no left hand...

o_O

I don`t want to think about that, nevermind.

0
Reply
Female 33
Iiick, no, nuh-uh. Didn`t need that last picture. Yet another reason I hate brownies. *shivers and grimaces* You others might have seen it as a Brownie, but in articles like this, my imagination works against me ;<.<
0
Reply
Male 2,199
I once used an apple to wipe my ass since i was in Lithuania, in the woods and couldn`t find any decent sized leaves... lol
0
Reply
Male 2,855
hahaha i almost chocked with the hand holding a brownie picture haha
0
Reply
Female 495
Abby.. I hate that! And it is always old women - ive never seen an old lady wash her hands in public loos! At least have the sense of shame to make a show of it in public, i dont care what you do in your own home - but im going to have to pull on the same door handle you just did!!
0
Reply
Male 2,395
I suddenly craved for brownies after seeing the last pic.

But seriously, thank goodness for modern technology :D

0
Reply
Female 1,269
hey why is emp still here?
where is the justice!?
0
Reply
Female 2,927
some of them, ow.
0
Reply
Female 652
lol "shortly before you handle his toothbrush"
0
Reply
Female 187
i was hungry before i read this. now i am not.
0
Reply
Female 1,963
But... if you wipe your ass with your hand (and use water) you have to use soap afterwards too, right? Because just rinsing with water isn`t gonna get rid of all that bacteria, like e-coli.
0
Reply
Female 1,963
Wow. That was pretty gross. I`m very unhappy about the poo-sponge in salt water. *shiver*
0
Reply
Female 913
flushable wet wipes.... the only way to go.
0
Reply
Male 1,244
Link at the bottom of the page: "Cant get it up? No Problem"
0
Reply
Male 1,232
So the right hand is nasty, but left hand is okay?
0
Reply
Female 399
:)

I heard that in medieval times the British royal family would clean themselves up with swan necks...

0
Reply
Male 1,596
yeah thats right just remembered was gonna correct myself
0
Reply
Female 399
Sinister. Not suspicious.
0
Reply
Male 1,596
what if you`re left handed?

also apparently that`s where the word suspicious comes from - left handed people

0
Reply
Male 512
Worst I`ve ever had to use is either old pair of socks or the cardboard TP tube.

I would have to say that bidets are better than TP. I just wish they were more commonplace in the States tho...

0
Reply
Male 3,296
toilet paper: one of the greatest or the greatest inventions of all time?????
0
Reply
Male 4,546
Abby:

1) The 5 prayers a day requires you to wash your hands/feet before each prayer as part of the ritual. You`re not allowed to pray if you`re not clean and you`re not allowed to not pray.

2) The left hand is considered the dirty hand in the mid east. You don`t do anything with it that requires cleanliness. Handling food, shaking hands, etc. All right handed.

0
Reply
Female 1,380
drat...what a waste of herb....
0
Reply
Male 3,819
Reminds me of the time I used a bunch of leaves.

All I knew was that it WASN`T poison ivy, so it passed my test with flying colors...

Yeah, it wasn`t poison ivy, only because too busy being poison drating oak.

::cringes::

0
Reply
Male 315
And I just ate a Wendy`s baconator.

CRAP TRIPLE MOCHA!

0
Reply
Male 315
...This would have been nice to know before I used antique pirate rope to make an unique doorbell.

Wait...
I shook hands with a left-handed Indian tourist from the slums...
CRAP!

0
Reply
Male 1,788
"I`m still trying to work out how to use the 3 Seashells from that Stallone movie..."

Haha! Good call.

0
Reply
Female 1,082
wow. id rather sh*t my shorts than use my hand. i know you can wash afterward, but our hand is still going to smell like ass all day, and probably sometime into next week.
0
Reply
Female 1,329
Baalthazaq, assuming that the person in question washed his/her hands afterward.

Just the other day, I was in the restroom at a Wal-Mart. I walked in, then two other women walked in, we all did our business, then of the three of us, I was the only one who actually washed hands. The other two just walked out past the sinks, hand soap, and towels.

It gives you perspective on who actually would wash ones hands after doing their business.

0
Reply
Male 15,832
First, use a red cob. Then use a white cob to see if you need another red cob.
0
Reply
Male 2,582
Eh, wiping is overrated.
0
Reply
Female 1,436
Lionhart2
Male, 30-39, Australia
2280 Posts Tuesday, February 17, 2009 7:54:39 PM
I`m still trying to work out how to use the 3 Seashells from that Stallone movie...

That is EXACTLY what I kept thinking the entire time!!!!

0
Reply
Male 8,302
> tannerb924
> in the future people will go OMG they had to wipe their asses?

In the DISTANT future people will go "Oh Disproved Entity, they HAD asses??"

0
Reply
Male 8,302
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why it`s considered rude to shake hands with someone with your left hand. I`m still trying to work out how to use the 3 Seashells from that Stallone movie...
0
Reply
Male 4,546
So many of those sound a lot better than 2 ply toilet paper.

Also, I`m in agreement with Pabasa. I really don`t get it when people go "Ewwww! Water + hands?!" as opposed to TP.

Seriously, it`s a 3 stage process, you wash everything, then you use your hands, and then you dry off with the TP.

Say you fell in a tub of poop.
What would you rather do?
Shower (With hands and water! Ewwww!!), then dry yourself off.
Or
Skip the shower and just wipe yourself down with a roll of TP to give yourself that all over clean feel.

Bidet = Win.

0
Reply
Female 4,447
The company my husband works for asked if he`d be willing to travel to India for up to a year. We thought it might be really neat and an awesome experience, now I`m not so sure. Seriously, with your hand? WTH?!
0
Reply
Female 1,516
True story... during the great depression my great grandmother used to make the family use pages from old magazines and catalogs as toilet paper. They would scavenge for them if they had to.
0
Reply
Male 488
in the future people will go OMG they had to wipe their asses?
0
Reply
Female 2,289
What a great post.
0
Reply
Female 507
Boadicea, if you use the bidet properly it will be entirely clean. You just need to dry off afterwards.
0
Reply
Female 507
Toilet paper works for me. Charmin. A lot of it. Then again I get the best of both worlds by wetting my toiler paper a bit in the bidet next to my toilet.
0
Reply
Male 3,431
Whoa, you mean people actually try to clean themselves after they drop a deuce? I thought that was why we wear skivvies, you know to sort of clean up the left overs.
0
Reply
Male 1,788
"That is nasty. Why do you people wipe your a$$ anyway?? That is really, really dirty and VERY unhygenic. Thats why colon cancer is getting higher and other a$$ related diseases..no joke!Do you know Muslims are the only people that wash their a$$ after taking a dump. TP dont cut it. You guys and girls have to start being cleaner. Seriously... It will only benefit you. Dont be ignorant to this advice..Islam is the way though."

That has ABSOLUTELY no connection to colon cancer.

0
Reply
Male 251
I think I remember reading about a prison riot that was sparked by a shortage of (and low quality) toilet paper - among other things, like green sandwich meat and other choice aspects of state penn life. I hope sheriff Joe Arpaio out here already knows about the left-hand practice and just hasn`t been able to convince enough officials to make that one mandatory in tent city.
0
Reply
Female 1,142
Usually I`ll use kleenex when the TP runs out, we keep it right next to the toilet.

The worst I`ve had to use was a pad wrapper.
Or maybe the crinkled-up kleenex with gum in it I found in my pocket was worse.
I dunno.

I`m just thankful I can wipe my arse.
I`ve a friend who knows a man so obese, he can`t. Has to wash off in the shower after taking a dump. Which is great news for his colon, I guess. .-.

0
Reply
Male 4,012
Er, that left hand is misinformed. It`s not just the left hand, it`s left hand PLUS WATER. Like a bidet. With some assistance.

And so much part of my culture, when I go to places with only toilet paper and no water I just don`t feel clean wiping my ass with TP.

0
Reply
Male 9
That is nasty. Why do you people wipe your a$$ anyway?? That is really, really dirty and VERY unhygenic. Thats why colon cancer is getting higher and other a$$ related diseases..no joke!Do you know Muslims are the only people that wash their a$$ after taking a dump. TP dont cut it. You guys and girls have to start being cleaner. Seriously... It will only benefit you. Dont be ignorant to this advice..Islam is the way though.
0
Reply
Female 1,677
Ahh thank you toilet paper (and in some emergencies, thank you Kleenex).

Actually I`ve wondered, when you use a bidet don`t you need something to clean up even after that? Or are you supposed to use a towel? I had one in a hotel room in Paris but was too chicken to try it out.

0
Reply
Female 160
wow.. i think that alot of ppl take TP for granted nowadays.. lol
0
Reply
Female 859
:-/ but i do everything with my left hand!
0
Reply
Male 776
the sponge stick seems like a solid idea, besides the whole used by everybody part....

the hand though.....

..........eew

0
Reply
Male 564
This is interesting...
heard about the rope one, haha
0
Reply
Male 272
Aligirl964, sadly yes.
0
Reply
Female 481
haha. emp357, goodbye (:

Butttt, LEFT HAND?? digusting.

0
Reply
Female 1,269
ewww i visited guatemala for like 10 days and they had toilet paper but you couldnt flush it. you had to put it in a little trash can...so all the bathrooms were gag-worthy...
0
Reply
Male 1,788
"FIRST!!!"
Kill Him!!

"you know 3% of Americans don`t use toilet paper at all?"
And I`m sure that came from a respectable study right?

0
Reply
Female 115
"what about the cardboard piece that is left behind after all the paper is gone. i use that sometimes. it hurts though."

ru serious

0
Reply
Male 1,029
Lol at the moss.
0
Reply
Male 340
emp, you forgot one part: "FIRST!!!(to get banned)"

anyway...I did not need that kind of...visualization...for the last one.

0
Reply
Female 1,269
awww bye bye emp357
0
Reply
Male 1,788
That`s why you never shake hands with your left in the middle east, it`s taboo.
0
Reply
Female 115
you know 3% of Americans don`t use toilet paper at all?

ewww

0
Reply
Male 272
what about the cardboard piece that is left behind after all the paper is gone. i use that sometimes. it hurts though.
0
Reply
Male 56
FIRST!!!
0
Reply
Male 20,825
Link: 9 Weird Methods Once Used Instead Of Toilet Paper [Rate Link] - Our ancestors weren`t as lucky as us in regards to TP. They had to look around for stuff to use. That stuff was weird.
0
Reply