5 Real Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy

Submitted by: teh1337 8 years ago in Misc
http://www.cracked.com/article_17019_5-real-life-soldiers-who-make-rambo-look-like-pussy.html

5 soldiers who defy the odds and make us all look like pansies.
There are 57 comments:
Male 818
I read this and I realize how useless my life is and how not b.a. I am. lol
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Male 34
hmmm a claymore... useful
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Male 128
I like the first story. They couldnt kill one guy. Then they finally "got" him and he ended waking up on the day the war ended XD. Hardcore
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Male 2,796
"UMMm carlos hatchcock founder of the marine corps sniper program???"

I met his son a few years back. He was on the Marine shooting team at Quantico.

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Male 90
UMMm carlos hatchcock founder of the marine corps sniper program???
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Female 652
holy crap
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Male 506
Dear god, the sheer bad-assery.
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Male 35
Douglas Bader should be on that list too. Faught for the RAF through WWII despite having no legs!
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Male 895
damn I was going to submit this
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Male 37
impressive.
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Male 12,365
They missed a bit on Jack Churchill - he used a bow and arrow too.

No, really. In WW2.

He wasn`t Scottish, although I can understand how the bagpipes misled the Cracked people.

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Male 12,365
I`ve read a number of descriptions of the things VC holders did to be awarded it. Had they been in films, I would have laughed at how unrealistic they are. A man going one on one with the most heavily armoured tank, armed only with a crappy weapon that couldn`t penetrate the tank`s armour and had hardly any range anyway, and winning? Five times? It happened - it was one of the many things done by Robert Cain, VC. Among things like halting a German advance by himself, firing a mortar horizontally because he`d used up every other weapon available while spending days rallying Allied soldiers and being a one-man army, after having something explode into his face and being shot. Then refusing medical evacuation because his men weren`t leaving, his blindness had worn off and the blood all over his head and legs wasn`t *literally* killing him.

You could add hundreds to this list, all deserving a place there.

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Male 264
Damn i cant believe he recovered after he got shot in the face
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Male 14
Great list, great soldiers.
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Male 1,029
Oh hell yeah good list.
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Male 31
epic. loved the White Death
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Female 231
Yeah that was B.A.
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Female 98
Audie Murphey and Simo Haya were the best ones
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Male 782
WTF? That was AWESOME!
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Male 17,512
Audie Murphy definitely deserves the top spot.

Good List.

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Male 612
The white death is my favorite, what a badass
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Male 486
This is one of the best things ever posted on here. Well done.
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Male 906
i love the cracked commentary.
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Male 221
"Ahahaha, it would be amazing to find an old soldier who, after like 30 years still believed the war was being fought. xD"

hasnt that actually happened a few times now?

youd think that after thirty years youd realise there wouldnt be anyone left to kill

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Male 282
"This is actually the first thing I read completely on Cracked."

lol same thing happend to me

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Female 1,604
the white death I like it, just hiding and killing hundreds smart.
and to quote Alice x these guys are insane!!
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Male 14
dam they have a PHD in BAMF`ery....in order to get some of my manliness back im off to the woods to kill a ticked off grizzly bear with my bare hands
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Female 5,139
These men are insane...
and they have my respect o.O
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Male 2,796
Chesty Puller wasn`t on the list?? Come on now...

I have a feeling many good ones are not on this list.

What about Dan Daly?

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Male 156
This is actually the first thing I read completely on Cracked. I have 5 new heroes now.
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Male 4,867
wow, they are some badass muthafcukers!
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Female 15,763
Ahahaha, it would be amazing to find an old soldier who, after like 30 years still believed the war was being fought. xD
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Male 2,388
F*** funny list that. Best yet from cracked.
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Female 1,653
Best Cracked thingy EVER.
"Yadav, being awesome, volunteered"
wahey =]
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Male 301
balls, the size of tanks
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Male 1,078
Lunatic:

Agreed.

One of the best cracked articles for a while.

And ah, the desert fox, Rommel. Though I have to say, these guys are more badass. Loved the guy with the sword.

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Male 1,666
That. Was. Badass.
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Male 2,028
That`s some badassery right there.
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Male 274
they should have mentioned Erwin Rommel.. that dude went from platoon comander to German Field Marshal in the middle of the freaking war... and he wasnt a nazi sob like Himmler... he was just a badass soldier and comander...
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Male 1,086
"When he became addicted to the drug, rather than enter a program like some kind of sissy, he went cold-turkey, locked himself in a motel room for a week and got over it."


Haha.

Hollywood, pssh, amateurs.

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Male 177
I love Hayha, York, and Murphy. they jst seem the most awesome of them all.
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Male 3,301
"Funny how the the quiet types turn out to be the fearless war heroes..."

In normal peacetime circumstances, that would be "how the quiet types turn out to be the ones who are psychotic" and gun down a McDonalds with an AK. It`s just war was so convenient to give them a more legal outfit for slaughtering people at the time. :D

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Male 2,506
the hayha guy was the badassesst
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Male 426
rambo would rape all of them...i don`t understand
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Male 1,254
I read a book entitled We Die Alone about an epic escape and survival tale from WWII, and I think the soldier, Jan Baalsrud, should have been included in the list.

Here`s a small biography that lists only the worst of what he suffered, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Baalsru...

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Male 265
Funny how the the quiet types turn out to be the fearless war heroes...
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Female 2,672
this is orsum, no 5 should be no 1

*fumes* i submited this D:

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Male 1,148
Bluddy hell they were just... epic
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Male 272
Simo Hayha ftw.
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Male 588
Those are good. My personal favourite, however, is John Meikle, a Scotsman who fought in WW1. At the age of 19, armed only with a revolver and a stick (yes, a stick) he rushed and destroyed a machine gun emplacement. Then he picked up a rifle and bayonet from one of his daed comrades and charged a second machine gun emplacement - although he got killed just before he got there...
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Male 367
These guys are definitely hardcore.
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Male 190
Yeah....... woah...
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Male 432
Damn. I could never do any of that.

Then again, I guess that`s the point of this post. :-P

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Male 599
I`ve killed a man just to watch him die.
Thats in a song but i can`t remember what it`s called

and where would we be without cracked?

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Male 182
The guy from enemy at the gates would have been a much better comparison for the first one than drating mark e mark fagberg
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Male 162
I`ve killed a man just to watch him die.
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Male 19
Link: 5 Real Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy [Rate Link] - 5 soldiers who defy the odds and make us all look like pansies.
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