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Category: Misc
Date: 02/08/09 09:03 AM

57 Responses to 5 Real Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy

  1. Profile photo of teh1337
    teh1337 Male 18-29
    19 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 7:43 am
    Link: 5 Real Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy - 5 soldiers who defy the odds and make us all look like pansies.
  2. Profile photo of thisidrocks
    thisidrocks Male 13-17
    162 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 9:20 am
    I`ve killed a man just to watch him die.
  3. Profile photo of Falcore
    Falcore Male 18-29
    182 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 9:23 am
    The guy from enemy at the gates would have been a much better comparison for the first one than drating mark e mark fagberg
  4. Profile photo of DavioMagnifi
    DavioMagnifi Male 13-17
    600 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 9:28 am
    I`ve killed a man just to watch him die.
    Thats in a song but i can`t remember what it`s called

    and where would we be without cracked?

  5. Profile photo of Abacab2112
    Abacab2112 Male 18-29
    433 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 9:28 am
    Damn. I could never do any of that.

    Then again, I guess that`s the point of this post. :-P

  6. Profile photo of Erunen
    Erunen Male 18-29
    190 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 9:33 am
    Yeah....... woah...
  7. Profile photo of tuxman4
    tuxman4 Male 13-17
    368 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 9:36 am
    These guys are definitely hardcore.
  8. Profile photo of Robert_D
    Robert_D Male 18-29
    589 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 9:46 am
    Those are good. My personal favourite, however, is John Meikle, a Scotsman who fought in WW1. At the age of 19, armed only with a revolver and a stick (yes, a stick) he rushed and destroyed a machine gun emplacement. Then he picked up a rifle and bayonet from one of his daed comrades and charged a second machine gun emplacement - although he got killed just before he got there...
  9. Profile photo of max5121
    max5121 Male 18-29
    272 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 9:48 am
    Simo Hayha ftw.
  10. Profile photo of The-Sentinel
    The-Sentinel Male 18-29
    1149 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 10:00 am
    Bluddy hell they were just... epic
  11. Profile photo of murrymalty
    murrymalty Female 18-29
    2673 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 10:09 am
    this is orsum, no 5 should be no 1

    *fumes* i submited this D:

  12. Profile photo of krath
    krath Male 18-29
    265 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 10:10 am
    Funny how the the quiet types turn out to be the fearless war heroes...
  13. Profile photo of Dakkar
    Dakkar Male 18-29
    1256 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 10:20 am
    I read a book entitled We Die Alone about an epic escape and survival tale from WWII, and I think the soldier, Jan Baalsrud, should have been included in the list.

    Here`s a small biography that lists only the worst of what he suffered, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Baalsru...

  14. Profile photo of skillz3333
    skillz3333 Male 18-29
    428 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 10:24 am
    rambo would rape all of them...i don`t understand
  15. Profile photo of Boredered
    Boredered Male 18-29
    2506 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 10:36 am
    the hayha guy was the badassesst
  16. Profile photo of LoofahBoy
    LoofahBoy Male 18-29
    3301 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 10:38 am
    "Funny how the the quiet types turn out to be the fearless war heroes..."

    In normal peacetime circumstances, that would be "how the quiet types turn out to be the ones who are psychotic" and gun down a McDonalds with an AK. It`s just war was so convenient to give them a more legal outfit for slaughtering people at the time. :D

  17. Profile photo of SyXxlunatic
    SyXxlunatic Male 13-17
    177 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 10:49 am
    I love Hayha, York, and Murphy. they jst seem the most awesome of them all.
  18. Profile photo of quaintness
    quaintness Male 13-17
    1086 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 10:52 am
    "When he became addicted to the drug, rather than enter a program like some kind of sissy, he went cold-turkey, locked himself in a motel room for a week and got over it."


    Haha.

    Hollywood, pssh, amateurs.

  19. Profile photo of kronosbr
    kronosbr Male 18-29
    274 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 11:17 am
    they should have mentioned Erwin Rommel.. that dude went from platoon comander to German Field Marshal in the middle of the freaking war... and he wasnt a nazi sob like Himmler... he was just a badass soldier and comander...
  20. Profile photo of gandhi172
    gandhi172 Male 18-29
    2028 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 11:25 am
    That`s some badassery right there.
  21. Profile photo of vitaliy
    vitaliy Male 18-29
    1668 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 11:32 am
    That. Was. Badass.
  22. Profile photo of tornadofdoom
    tornadofdoom Male 13-17
    1081 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 11:34 am
    Lunatic:

    Agreed.

    One of the best cracked articles for a while.

    And ah, the desert fox, Rommel. Though I have to say, these guys are more badass. Loved the guy with the sword.

  23. Profile photo of spazking
    spazking Male 18-29
    301 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 12:14 pm
    balls, the size of tanks
  24. Profile photo of Boredx12
    Boredx12 Female 13-17
    1654 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 12:31 pm
    Best Cracked thingy EVER.
    "Yadav, being awesome, volunteered"
    wahey =]
  25. Profile photo of s0rd3dvis1on
    s0rd3dvis1on Male 18-29
    2388 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 12:31 pm
    F*** funny list that. Best yet from cracked.
  26. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15774 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 1:11 pm
    Ahahaha, it would be amazing to find an old soldier who, after like 30 years still believed the war was being fought. xD
  27. Profile photo of domisgood
    domisgood Male 18-29
    4868 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 1:19 pm
    wow, they are some badass muthafcukers!
  28. Profile photo of KoolaidDylan
    KoolaidDylan Male 13-17
    156 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 1:40 pm
    This is actually the first thing I read completely on Cracked. I have 5 new heroes now.
  29. Profile photo of splurbyburbl
    splurbyburbl Male 30-39
    2798 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 1:52 pm
    Chesty Puller wasn`t on the list?? Come on now...

    I have a feeling many good ones are not on this list.

    What about Dan Daly?

  30. Profile photo of alice_x
    alice_x Female 18-29
    5140 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 1:53 pm
    These men are insane...
    and they have my respect o.O
  31. Profile photo of agent00donut
    agent00donut Male 18-29
    14 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 2:21 pm
    dam they have a PHD in BAMF`ery....in order to get some of my manliness back im off to the woods to kill a ticked off grizzly bear with my bare hands
  32. Profile photo of CoffeeDiiva
    CoffeeDiiva Female 40-49
    1604 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 2:22 pm
    the white death I like it, just hiding and killing hundreds smart.
    and to quote Alice x these guys are insane!!
  33. Profile photo of Thepwnsher
    Thepwnsher Male 13-17
    283 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 2:30 pm
    "This is actually the first thing I read completely on Cracked."

    lol same thing happend to me

  34. Profile photo of lilhawk2892
    lilhawk2892 Male 13-17
    221 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 2:56 pm
    "Ahahaha, it would be amazing to find an old soldier who, after like 30 years still believed the war was being fought. xD"

    hasnt that actually happened a few times now?

    youd think that after thirty years youd realise there wouldnt be anyone left to kill

  35. Profile photo of viczko
    viczko Male 13-17
    906 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 3:51 pm
    i love the cracked commentary.
  36. Profile photo of Norts
    Norts Male 18-29
    486 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 4:10 pm
    This is one of the best things ever posted on here. Well done.
  37. Profile photo of DVLDRVR666
    DVLDRVR666 Male 13-17
    612 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 4:26 pm
    The white death is my favorite, what a badass
  38. Profile photo of CrakrJak
    CrakrJak Male 40-49
    17514 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 5:00 pm
    Audie Murphy definitely deserves the top spot.

    Good List.

  39. Profile photo of B3N0C1D3
    B3N0C1D3 Male 18-29
    783 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 5:10 pm
    WTF? That was AWESOME!
  40. Profile photo of french88
    french88 Female 18-29
    98 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 5:11 pm
    Audie Murphey and Simo Haya were the best ones
  41. Profile photo of Ughhzombie
    Ughhzombie Female 18-29
    231 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 5:47 pm
    Yeah that was B.A.
  42. Profile photo of Currahee428
    Currahee428 Male 13-17
    31 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 6:25 pm
    epic. loved the White Death
  43. Profile photo of StapleMeElmo
    StapleMeElmo Male 18-29
    1029 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 6:51 pm
    Oh hell yeah good list.
  44. Profile photo of TingoStarr
    TingoStarr Male 18-29
    14 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 7:08 pm
    Great list, great soldiers.
  45. Profile photo of KX250F
    KX250F Male 13-17
    264 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 8:01 pm
    Damn i cant believe he recovered after he got shot in the face
  46. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 9:00 pm
    I`ve read a number of descriptions of the things VC holders did to be awarded it. Had they been in films, I would have laughed at how unrealistic they are. A man going one on one with the most heavily armoured tank, armed only with a crappy weapon that couldn`t penetrate the tank`s armour and had hardly any range anyway, and winning? Five times? It happened - it was one of the many things done by Robert Cain, VC. Among things like halting a German advance by himself, firing a mortar horizontally because he`d used up every other weapon available while spending days rallying Allied soldiers and being a one-man army, after having something explode into his face and being shot. Then refusing medical evacuation because his men weren`t leaving, his blindness had worn off and the blood all over his head and legs wasn`t *literally* killing him.

    You could add hundreds to this list, all deserving a place there.

  47. Profile photo of Angilion
    Angilion Male 40-49
    12387 posts
    February 8, 2009 at 9:28 pm
    They missed a bit on Jack Churchill - he used a bow and arrow too.

    No, really. In WW2.

    He wasn`t Scottish, although I can understand how the bagpipes misled the Cracked people.

  48. Profile photo of tera_melos
    tera_melos Male 18-29
    37 posts
    February 9, 2009 at 12:13 am
    impressive.
  49. Profile photo of rgsupergrove
    rgsupergrove Male 18-29
    899 posts
    February 9, 2009 at 12:26 am
    damn I was going to submit this
  50. Profile photo of bezdancing
    bezdancing Male 18-29
    35 posts
    February 9, 2009 at 12:59 am
    Douglas Bader should be on that list too. Faught for the RAF through WWII despite having no legs!
  51. Profile photo of Vhreio
    Vhreio Male 30-39
    506 posts
    February 9, 2009 at 7:46 am
    Dear god, the sheer bad-assery.
  52. Profile photo of FxyRoxy777
    FxyRoxy777 Female 18-29
    652 posts
    February 9, 2009 at 8:40 am
    holy crap
  53. Profile photo of Drawstring
    Drawstring Male 18-29
    90 posts
    February 9, 2009 at 8:58 am
    UMMm carlos hatchcock founder of the marine corps sniper program???
  54. Profile photo of splurbyburbl
    splurbyburbl Male 30-39
    2798 posts
    February 9, 2009 at 12:01 pm
    "UMMm carlos hatchcock founder of the marine corps sniper program???"

    I met his son a few years back. He was on the Marine shooting team at Quantico.

  55. Profile photo of Exquisitte
    Exquisitte Male 13-17
    128 posts
    February 10, 2009 at 4:20 am
    I like the first story. They couldnt kill one guy. Then they finally "got" him and he ended waking up on the day the war ended XD. Hardcore
  56. Profile photo of supermeep
    supermeep Male 18-29
    34 posts
    February 11, 2009 at 9:52 am
    hmmm a claymore... useful
  57. Profile photo of ohlax
    ohlax Male 13-17
    818 posts
    February 20, 2009 at 8:07 pm
    I read this and I realize how useless my life is and how not b.a. I am. lol

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