Dolphin-Assisted Birth

Submitted by: Concetra 8 years ago in Weird

Republicans and Democrats, Christians and Atheists, let us be united by our common hatred of: Hippies.
There are 73 comments:
Male 524
Atheist, going to be democrat guy here to say: What the F were they thinking? How can the human brain become so fried as to think that DOLPHINS can correct birthing problems? What is it in the air that is killing human brain cells?
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Male 72
dolphins are smart, smarter than some people we have to deal with, but fixing birthing complications??? what the hell is wrong with these people? o_o
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Male 220
Awww come on, its the name of the show >.<
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Male 220
Bullpoo = Quality TV
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Female 271
lol, I can imagine the baby being born and starting to sink, then dragging the mother down with it by the umbilical cord.
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Male 163
And why is that wildde?
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Male 163
a hippie is more worthy of life than the avrage fat-assed american.
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Male 882
fyi: they smartened up and did it the not hippie way.
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Male 882
ah yes, penn & teller. love that show
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Male 2,160
oh, and speaking of drugs and childbirth, wonder if they have any idea how much nuclear waste and how many chemical weapons got tossed into the ocean by the US and soviet union.
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Male 2,160
hmm...so she gives birth in the ocean, that means blood, and what does blood in the ocean attract? Not to mention what if the child meets a jellyfish during that or if the dolphins hate kids?
i see a darwin award and a tragedy coming.
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Male 27
Dolphins who knew lol
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Female 212
That has inspired me to have my childbirth one day assisted by a pack of wolves. :3
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Female 161
Wow... my anti-drug is seeing people like this. Too much weed and you start thinking dolphins can help you when you go into labor. And is it just me or does the mother look like she`s seventeen?
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Male 167
ohhh such stupid poos
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Male 453
dolphins have shark teeth. plus they dont like hippies, like the rest of us.
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Male 480
DO THEY KNOW HOW MUCH BACTERIA AND FUNGUS IS IN THE OCEAN???!!! noobfail
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Female 4,225
Hi I`m Turn and liberal, and I`d just like to say

damn hippies. What kind of crap is that?

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Male 2,313
Your baby`s going to get eaten by a shark.
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Female 52
Oh and if you were to see the entire segment on Bulls**t you would discover that the woman pushing this onto the very young, brain fried couple never ACTUALLY even did this sort of birth before. They were to be her first victims. They ended up backing out and needless to say, child protective services began watching them. But I looked this lady up and she is just some New Agey flake who is starting her own business. I don`t even know if she has any midwife or OBGYN backround. Shes going to end up getting someones baby killed. I really hope someone stops this lunacy, and I`m glad Penn and Teller brought attention to this . It`s creepy.
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Female 52
Too much LSD
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Male 162
dratING HIPPIES!!!! DIE HIPPIES DIE!!!!!!!
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Female 346
Wow...they`re really dumb...

I`m liberal and all dolphins do NOT HELP WITH HUMAN BIRTHS!

idiots..

damn hippies.

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Female 52
This is for real.Penn and Teller did a segment on this for Bulls**t,and I felt compelled to research it after seeing it. I am a firm supporter for a mothers right for a natural, midwife assisited home,or birthing center birth, Water births actually help ease labor pains and quicken the birth process, as well as make babys transition into this world less traumatic because the baths warmth is similiar to the womb, but the OCEAN is not a safe place for a babys birth, unless you`re a sea creature, or a damn mermaid! All I can say is... it might be a beautiful concept in a perfect world where things would always be safe and things can never go wrong, but emergencies can and do happen in even the healthiest pregnancies.It`s best to be where help is nearby, and midwives are quite adept at handling many minor birth complications,keep mom and baby monitored (which you can`t do in the ocean!) and any midwife or doula worth her salt wouldn`t hesitate to call for help ASAP if needed.
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Male 337
how about they get comfortable with the water in their shower so they can wash their hair?
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Female 15,763
That sounds ridiculously dangerous.

There is water birth, and that even sounds dangerous to me... give me the hospital, the drugs, the spinal thing, pleeeease. I`m liberal and all, but damn... o_O

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Male 301
hippies shouldnt be allowed to reproduce, someone please invent the tchnology to allow us to resurect bob barker to get up here and say "remember to control the hippie population and have your local hippie spayed or neutered"
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Female 237
"And if there are complications... the dolphins might be able to correct those.."
Did he just escape from a mental institution? They`re freaking ANIMALS- once they smell the blood from the birth, they`d probably think the baby was an injured fish and EAT IT.
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Male 2,388
"I don`t believe in the whole trained birthing hospital employees knowing what they are doing avoiding injuries to the child" Simply WHAT DICKS. I really don`t want to prove them wrong though cos that would be tragic
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Male 1,583
this is a joke... i`m pretty sure.

Hippies used to be cool, like john lennon and poo. modern day hippies are just.... no. they don`t belong on this earth.

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Male 366
And just when I thought that the craziest things these people have ever done was suggest to ben and jerrys to use human breast milk in their ice cream!

You have to wonder how many pounds of pot they smoked to come up with this idea!

If they actually went ahead with this, I doubt the dolphins would come even close to her while she`s in labor. If anything, her baby would drown, and she`d have no professional help if she got hurt.

Leave it to the professionals, not the dolphins!

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Male 42
I HATE HIPPIES!! you know who could correct complications? dratING DOCTORS! who have been trained to do poo like that. not your fully baked brain. this is why people should need licenses to have children...
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Male 59
i almost want there to be complications so they see that the dolphins cant help at all and wish they had an actual doctor. almost. i wouldnt be as cruel as to want a baby to die or be deformed mentally/physically. but those hippies are idiots
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Male 2,076
##e32e4354R#$R#$R#$R# >-( NO!
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Male 4,546
I have seen many things on IAB, that have caused me varying levels of humour, disgust, and fear.

This has peaked all 3 more than anything I have ever seen in my life.

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Male 3,255
Dear lord.....
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Male 734
GODDAMN HIPPIES!
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Male 1,556
And pindragon, nowadays that`s what a hippie is.
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Male 1,556
BWHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH

"Republicans and Democrats, Christians and Atheists, let us be united by our common hatred of: Hippies."

Athen,


See what I did there? It`s amen for atheists!

*giggle*

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Male 715
lol This is too funny
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Female 139
ooooookay...
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Female 913
I think that one dolphin towards the end is a certified midwife.
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Male 886
can`t women give "underwater" births in "tubs" in the hospital if they want? Why wouldn`t they just choose that? Although boredfjord said they didn`t go through with it in the end anyway...
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Male 387
I saw this episode before.
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Male 970
no they don`t think.
but the funny thing is:
As their heads are heavier than their feet, they will float upside down.
But thats how nature wanted it to be, right?
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Female 924
Wait, is this real? This is so ridiculous, it can`t be real ...
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Male 1,086
wtf? "correct some of those complications" I hate you...
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Male 2,796
They are a terrorist sleeper cell sent from Aquaman. But, he`s a big pu55y so don`t worry.
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Male 1,204
"
Question!
a) don`t babies sink?"

Naw, babies are natural swimmers, and for a short while after birth they`re fine under water.

...hippies...

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Male 199
Wait... I thought Democrats = Hippies...

Whatever.

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Female 299
I assumed it was going to be in a big tank, not in the ocean because, you know, sharks smell blood and come running (ok not running but you know what I mean).

Does sound like a lovely idea, though I didn`t know dolphins had super powers that can correct problems which might occur in childbirth.

I also keep thinking how the dirty salt water is going to make pregnancy a lot more painful for the mother, assuming she tears.

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Female 14
Question!
a) don`t babies sink?
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Female 665
This seemed like a cute video at first, but the end just kinda....okaaaaay.
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Male 20
In theory this is a nice idea.
In practice it`s... not.
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Female 40
lol..... ocean + person giving birth = (hopefully) one great shark attack

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Female 1
Can she even swim while giving birth?
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Male 3,301
Ghk...
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Male 5,970
Wait, wait, THE HUMANS give birth?! Holy....man I thought the dolphins were the ones....wow
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Male 118
Oh jesus the dolphins have somehow gained access to medical training...
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Male 362
*falls to knees, stares at picture of the human brain* You maniacs! You`ve destroyed it! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
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Female 1,963
I really wouldn`t feel so hot about bleeding all over the place in the middle of the ocean. I think this guy is sorta missing the point of giving birth in hospitals... Does he know how many women used to die during childbirth?
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Male 103
"oops, it sunk" - proud day for a new parent

I like hippies, but I disagree with some of the methods.

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Male 600
I don`t hate hippies...

I just greatly dislike tree-huggers who hate me for eating cows.

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Male 976
Penn and Teller Rock my socks. Everyone should check out their show... well I can`t say it without it being censored, so "bulls hit" you can figure out the rest.
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Female 1,306
its kind of a cool idea, combining swimming with dolphins and...er...birth.

yeah, it doesnt sound so great when you put it like that.

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Female 1,653
I personally quite like hippies
At least they try...
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Male 196
Where are the sharks when we need them?
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Female 1,142
Sure, the dolphins will help bring your child into the world.

Or, you know. Eat it.

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Male 928
Ah, Penn and Teller! They didn`t actually go through with this, by the way. The couple decided against it. But yes, hippies totally suck (I`m a liberal and an atheist--but this is as ridiculous as religion and all other forms of supernaturalism).
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Male 4,290
"the dolphins may be able to correct some of those complications"


... *sigh*

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Female 531
i`d be afraid of dropping the baby to the ocean floor and having it snacked on by a baby shark
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Male 203
good lord, she sounds like she`s 7 years old
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Male 2,049
Link: Dolphin-Assisted Birth [Rate Link] - Republicans and Democrats, Christians and Atheists, let us be united by our common hatred of: Hippies.
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