How To Talk To Girls

Submitted by: spongamabob 8 years ago in

A 4th grader writes a book on how to talk to girls.
There are 127 comments:
Female 189
I dunno I hear many guys say that women are confusing and tricky, could a fourth grader really be more intelligent in the ways of woman as compared to a um 25-30 year old man?
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Male 374
He reminds me of me back then, and I`m gay.
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Female 339
Oh come on. It was a school project. He`s kinda cute. And it`s sweet that such a young kid wrote it.
Stop being so judgemental.
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Male 991
"stupid drating mean person bastard"- ListerStorm
Lol.
"I can only assume there a lot of unpublished homophobe writers that peruse iab..."-_Perfection_
Yea agreed.
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Male 143
I agree with habbazoot about the gay part.

He should`ve written "How to talk to boys," or not written anything at all... Damn 4th graders.

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Male 2,553
that kid has 500 lbs and 200% depression in about 20 years
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Male 271
See what happens when you let your kids watch Dr. Phil, someone please by that kid a video game and some toy soldiers.
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Male 220
Heh...guess I gotta get me one of those:p
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Male 25
thats gonna be hard to live up to in high school lol
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Female 45
I have a feeling this kid will never get laid.
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Female 178
Aww, that`s cuuute
:3
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Male 907
$20 says he still won`t be laid by the time he`s 70.
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Female 168
Aww, cool!
He`s such a cutie, we`ll be seeing more of him when he gets older, I bet.
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Male 134
Where can I get a copy?
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Male 1,204
the SNL version of this was hilarious
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Female 4,447
haha, aw, how cute!
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Male 1,596
hey mom whats chlamidya, poo better start talking to some girls
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Female 151
he`s cute!! I wish I`d been an author at the age of... did she say eight!!??!
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Male 245
hate this kid!!! he said he hasn`t even had a girlfriend because he`s too young? so being the flipping genius that he is, he decided to write a book. the book is probably written in a "everything i think about life must be true" kind of way.

dear life,
slap this mother-fryer in the flippin face.

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Female 57
Aw.. he`s adorable.
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Male 311

but the kid doesnt know yet girls get their period and hes going to turn gay when he finds out.

yet another philosophical intelligent comment from the SoxXxhXcxSeX school of thought

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Female 497
but the kid doesnt know yet girls get their period and hes going to turn gay when he finds out.
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Male 2,855
finally a book a pedophile can use to his benefit
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Male 818
okay fibbles your comment gave me a headache but yeah once he gets into a real relationship after puberty I might listen to something he has to say
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Female 374
i think he`s just talking about getting girls to like you, and how to talk to them and stuff (obviously) it might be nice to have a little reality check with the basics of talking to girls, with the simplest ideas coming from an fourth grader.
i just like how its innocent and cute, you know? the whole statistic thing is totally bunk, though.
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Male 311
excerpt from chapter 2: Hw to liek wut girlz liek
wen i frist startd to chat up da girlz, we was all liek eww cooties and then we wer all liek im so in love then we were all liek we r part of this 75% of girls nd boyz dat r in love happily ever after.
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Male 63
When this kid`s balls drop and he learns the way relationships really are, he will either drink himself into a bottle and become a unic or he will play womanizer until he dies.
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Female 203
I would rather talk to him than the skanks in my local
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Female 2,064
WOW, I saw that book at Border`s three days ago. XD
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Female 1,306
i think he`s just talking about getting girls to like you, and how to talk to them and stuff (obviously) it might be nice to have a little reality check with the basics of talking to girls, with the simplest ideas coming from an fourth grader.

i just like how its innocent and cute, you know? the whole statistic thing is totally bunk, though.

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Male 889
ewwww cooties
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Male 905
he`s a tool. bottom line.
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Female 60
lol!
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Male 1,766
so you can make up statistics and observations and get published. Why am i not surprised
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Male 610
he`s in the fourth grade. how the hell can he even get something published, let alone something on a subject he has nothing about?
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Female 152
awww
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Female 138
AnwarNova: "I feel like I just read something that should have been between you and a psychologist. It`s like that time I overheard someone arguing outside my apartment window, and the guy confessed he had raped his kid sister. "

You should have told the police. Raping isn`t legal, if you remember.

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I just can`t stop suspecting one of the adults taking care of him wrote most of it.
I bet he will hate this book when he`s older. Probaly will think different things about it all and be ashamed of the ways of his old child mind.

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Female 138
Bekll: "That boy`s "observations" are stereotypical. Honest my neck. And what`s with the making up percentages? 98% of pretty girls... beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

Almost everything kids knows, and adults too, they hear from others, and this is what society says. Never noticed that the prettiest girls at bars and so on, most guys are to afraid to talk? You`re told that you will fail...

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_Perfection_: When I was in 4th grade I had a friend. He wanted me to sleep over at his house. I thought he was a little weird, but I said okay. I got there, we did kid stuff, blah blah blah. Then we were going to go to sleep. He wanted me to sleep in his bed with him. He said he slept naked, and I should too. I did not sleep in his bed, nor did I ever have any more sleep overs with him.

Moral of the story: 9 year olds can be gay too."

Think I did things like that when i was little. I don`t remember it having anything to do with sex. Sex didn`

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Female 1,441
Whatever, I thought it was cute. People need to loosen up around here. It`s not meant to be read seriously.
It was published because it`s an inncoent take on romance from a child who doesn`t know anything about the real world. That`s kind of the point.
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Male 332
"Ewww. girls have coodies"

===================

Isn`t it "cooties"?

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Male 30
I can see him becoming a man whore later... or gay
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Female 696
Thats so cute! I want to see that book
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Male 7,933
Ewww. girls have coodies
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Male 512
But...but...he`s in 4th grade! How could he have figured all this out? Kudos to the kid anyway.
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Male 1,788
Seems to me the most common response to this on iab is....
"I can`t believe he`s published an I`m not" or
"What a funny little gay kid"
I can only assume there a lot of unpublished homophobe writers that peruse iab...
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Female 122
That was cute..
Ugh, he`s eight and published.
I`m more then twice his age and nowhere near there!!
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Male 1,598
Wow. He probably doesn`t even know where babies come from, and he`s already becoming the Love Doctor.
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Male 2,395
So... where can I get this book exactly?
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Female 84
God damnit. Stephanie Meyer gets published, now this little mother drater? I need to get my book out in the world if it`s THIS easy.
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Male 10,440
VV me neither.
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Male 928
I have a feeling he didn`t gather those data in a particularly scientific fashion.
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Male 557
that actually is pretty sound advice...

loved how the teacher went "Even if that girl is... 46, that`s still how you should talk to them"

someone is getting desperate for a husband me thinks

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Female 175
how cute!
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Female 220
lol, I thought it was cute.
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Male 762
"Wait till hes getting drunk hitting on everything that might be a girl. Those are the difficult times"


lol i hear that !!!

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Male 353
How did this make it on CNN? 73% of normal girls... 98% of pretty girls...?

How about 100% of boys who write books like these turn out to be gay?

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Female 131
Geez, I would have thought they would have put him in consuling instead of publishing the book for him.....
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Male 591
{{{ SPARTAKITTY
Female, 18-29, Midwest US
90 Posts Sunday, December 07, 2008 4:52:52 AM
"98% of pretty girls ditch boys."
Where do you get that information, you little ****?}}}

Remember, 2359% of all statistics are made up on the spot, and this kid knows it.

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Female 660
aww he is so gonna be a player when he gets older indeed.

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Female 1,395
It`s cute now, but he is going to be SUCH a player when hes older =P
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Male 4,867
lol, hes gonna be a pimp when he`s older
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Female 331
Aww, I think it`s cute, actually xD
He`s in fourth grade and cares about girls.
So sweet <3
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Female 2,120
"98% of pretty girls ditch boys."
Where do you get that information, you little ****?
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Male 338
i hate this kid. he must be gay.
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Male 205
Anyone want to post the SNL clip anywhere?
Oh, and he was a a right ccok
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Male 75
"Seeing as how incredibly articulate he is when he talks to the camera, I`m going with your latter point."

Yeah, i guess so @ willowpuff - that`d completely restore my faith into human intelligence

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Male 1,148
He`s going to grow up as a pimp xD

Nah, it`s nice to see someone young actually starting to understand relationships.

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Female 335
seeing him published at 8 makes me feel pathetic :[
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Male 134
rubbish
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Male 162
stupid drating mean person bastard
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Female 2,220

Numenor5
Male, 18-29, Europe
42 Posts Sunday, December 7, 2008 2:25:48 AM
come on! At the age of 8 i didn`t even wanted to read a book... but write one? You must be kidding.
Either the whole story is a fake, or he`s is one of the cleverest boys in the world

______________________________

Seeing as how incredibly articulate he is when he talks to the camera, I`m going with your latter point.

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Male 400
It`s quite simple Numenor. I could easily right a book right now on how I think you should talk to girls and fill it with plenty of flattery things like this kid did. In actuality talking to someone you seem to think is perfect proves to be slightly more difficult because you aren`t sure whether or not you`re gonna drat it up because you get crazy around them. By experience I was trying to talk to this girl when I was a third grader and I couldn`t speak. I was shaking and stuttering so bad I ran away. Now I`m a little less shy and I`m not going to run away like that but whether or not we`re in third grade or out of school it`s still tough. some kids book might give a confidence boost but it won`t make things easier because if you care about someone you aren`t going to get through asking her out with ease.
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Male 807
Watch out Mystery.
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Male 75
come on! At the age of 8 i didn`t even wanted to read a book... but write one? You must be kidding.
Either the whole story is a fake, or he`s is one of the cleverest boys in the world
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Male 674
I think it would be pretty cool if this kid made several versions of it as he grew up, like How to talk to girls:High school, How to talk to girls: while drunk, and not looking like an idiot

then he discovers he is gay, and starts "How to improve your gaydar"

I see him becoming a self help guru raking in millions from other peoples misfortunes.

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Female 1,545
"It`s like reading a book on how to be Manly written by a little girl. You take the info from the source. If you want to know how to talk to girls, ask a girl, ffs."

I think that`s the general problem with today`s society. Talking to the opposite sex isn`t difficult. It really is as simple as a 4th grader writes it.

Forget the "wait until he grows up". Every single one of us knows how to talk to the opposite sex from grade school age. We imagine it gets more complicated as we get older...but it really doesn`t.

People are people are people.

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Male 4,546
Playa!
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Male 400
High school is gonna be fun for him when he finds out about emo kids and sluts.
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Male 2,388
Wait till hes getting drunk hitting on everything that might be a girl. Those are the difficult times :(
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Male 868
Observant kid got a lucky break. Cool.
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Male 2,245
psychologically homosexuality just doesn`t seem that mysterious to me, that`s all i`m saying. shoot me down if you want, but all of the gay people i know were strongly influenced by a person or people of the opposite sex when they were young.
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Male 2,245
or being masculine in a lesbian`s case.
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Male 2,245
its weird that you guys say this kid is gay, and please lets not get into a ridiculous debate, but hear me out. obviously he is effeminate, but at the same time he obviously is interested in girls. being effeminate is clearly learned and perhaps social difficulties that arise from it make people consider homosexuality.
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Male 1,788
anwarnov--I`d like to stress I slept across the room in my sleeping bag haha
"It`s like that time I overheard someone arguing outside my apartment window, and the guy confessed he had raped his kid sister."

and also...wow to your comment.

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Male 3,819
*takes notes*
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Male 503
what this kid doesnt know yet is that he`s gay...

(dont hurt me!)

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Male 2,076
WOW
_perfection_
WOW

I feel like I just read something that should have been between you and a psychologist. It`s like that time I overheard someone arguing outside my apartment window, and the guy confessed he had raped his kid sister. :-/

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Male 506
That kid must be a playa. srsly

I`m surprised how understanding that principle was about the she issue. She wasn`t like ZOMG LMNTAREE SK00L R3LAYSHUNSH1PZ. RAGEEEE or anything.

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Male 2,076
harper collins published it? wtf? I`m really really jealous. Probably wouldn`t publish me :-(
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Male 1,788
""Anybody notice a bit of gayness in him? I`m not homophobic either. Gay people are typically more open to being close to women than the typical boys running from them." -Naton
Hahaha seriously? He`s 9. You sir, are a dumbass."

When I was in 4th grade I had a friend. He wanted me to sleep over at his house. I thought he was a little weird, but I said okay. I got there, we did kid stuff, blah blah blah. Then we were going to go to sleep. He wanted me to sleep in his bed with him. He said he slept naked, and I should too. I did not sleep in his bed, nor did I ever have any more sleep overs with him.

Moral of the story: 9 year olds can be gay too.

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Male 1,164
footnotes at the back: if all else fails clorophorm and a cloth never fail
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Male 1,788
If only we could all be so lucky and get published that easily.
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Male 97
anyone see snl make fun of him. Andy Samberg was like, "The only balls I`ve dropped are in the outfield." lol
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Male 7
"Anybody notice a bit of gayness in him? I`m not homophobic either. Gay people are typically more open to being close to women than the typical boys running from them." -Naton

Hahaha seriously? He`s 9. You sir, are a dumbass.

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Male 103
Anybody notice a bit of gayness in him? I`m not homophobic either. Gay people are typically more open to being close to women than the typical boys running from them.
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Male 1,220
AHHAHAHAH saturday night live JUST did a parody of this and hour ago and it was HILARIOUS
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Male 55
This kid is teh winrar.
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Male 19
*goes and buys book
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Male 650
ah crap, is this the level we`ve all gone down to?
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Female 917
Awww. He`s such a little cutie!

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Male 115
"I, personally, think that this is a case of extreme fail.

It`s like reading a book on how to be Manly written by a little girl. You take the info from the source. If you want to know how to talk to girls, ask a girl, ffs."

That is true some girls will just tell you.

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Male 115
His advice about getting a cooty shop helped me with my love life. Now me and my girlfriend get along better now that we dont have cooties!
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Female 4,028
... Weird. I dunno how a fourth grader got published for that... should take a look at said book, see if it`s even very good.
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Male 3,301
This kid has a bright future ahead of him. Seriously.
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Male 1,497
Easy fix, bro, under your info stuff click [Delete Post] :/
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Male 312
ah, now here`s a real double post for you:

i stand corrected on that NWO page. apparently i`m posting challenged. :(

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Male 312
@TheGrag

honest mistake bud. and i believe you are wrong about the NWO page. I have one post, albeit a rather long one for my standards.

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Male 9,305
Interesting story.
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Male 1,497
"The second he said "98% Of PRETTY Girls", I knew he was making those percents up."

Because we all know more than 2% of PRETTY girls are slutty. </sarcasm>

Also, why does JMoney100 feel the need to double post? So far I`ve noticed him do it in this page and the NWO video`s page.

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Female 1,984
I`m an odd girl then - I do like gross things and I hate Hannah Montana.

That boy`s "observations" are stereotypical. Honest my neck. And what`s with the making up percentages? 98% of pretty girls... beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

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Female 741
10 years later, how to DO girls.
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Female 493
Eww, a child.

Sick.

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Male 1,228
I, personally, think that this is a case of extreme fail.

It`s like reading a book on how to be Manly written by a little girl. You take the info from the source. If you want to know how to talk to girls, ask a girl, ffs.

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Female 583
Dumb. Sorry. I didn`t think it was cute....
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Male 1,228
The second he said "98% Of PRETTY Girls", I knew he was making those percents up.
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Male 312
"pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil"

from the mouth of babes. I hope this kid grows up to be wealthy or he`s gonna be screwed when he meets his first barbie

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Male 312
"pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil"

from the mouth of babes. I hope this kid grows up to be wealthy or he`s gonna be screwed when he meets his first barbie

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Female 723
How cute!

Itsonly-I don`t know where he came up with those statistics, but he is very confident...and I think that will win him the girl in the end.

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Male 882
cuz a 4th grader knows girls right?
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Female 72
Where did he get those statistics??
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Male 390
he reminds me of... a gay...
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Female 264
wait until he gets a taste of the real world
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Male 954
*Takes down notes*

....yes, I have stooped to a new level...

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Male 3,651
Ew girls are icky.

lol
I remember being 8... I think... I don`t think I enjoyed feminine company, but didn`t particularly mind it.

See that`s why I`m a musician, not all girls like authors, but who DOESN`T like a musician?

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Female 471
haha cute kid. gonna be a p-i-m-p one day.
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Male 184
I`m sure he could give 90% of IAB members a few pointers.
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Female 2,084
Link: How To Talk To Girls [Rate Link] - A 4th grader writes a book on how to talk to girls.
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