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48 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 13910
Rating: 3.8
Category: Funny
Date: 11/13/08 06:08 AM

48 Responses to How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You

  1. Profile photo of GiantBatFart
    GiantBatFart Male 18-29
    6 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 5:09 am
    Link: How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You - An illustrated guide that`ll help you figure out if your cat is plotting your demise.
  2. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10441 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 6:20 am
    <--- oh I know all about that.
  3. Profile photo of maggierose78
    maggierose78 Female 18-29
    688 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 6:25 am
    Well apparently every cat I`ve ever had has in one way tried to kill me.
  4. Profile photo of Vhreio
    Vhreio Male 30-39
    506 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 6:25 am
    My cat`s trying to kill me.
  5. Profile photo of Saragato
    Saragato Female 18-29
    721 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 6:49 am
    Yep, I`m dead.
  6. Profile photo of Wattstone
    Wattstone Male 18-29
    167 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 6:51 am
    I Have like, 5 cats! :-)


    Wait!

    OMG! I`m DOOMED!! :-O

  7. Profile photo of kristun666
    kristun666 Female 18-29
    214 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 7:06 am
    Oh poo!!! I`m gonna die!!! But thats okay, as long as my murderer is cute and fluffy. :D hee hee
  8. Profile photo of ragerobot
    ragerobot Male 18-29
    94 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 8:02 am
    I heard this on NPR. If a single person living alone in an apartment dies, a dog will wait seven days before the dog starts to eat its owner. A cat will wait seven hours before it starts to eat its owner.
  9. Profile photo of vicious_liar
    vicious_liar Male 13-17
    1226 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 8:06 am
    Oh noes I think I`m gonna die...
    If I don`t post another reply in a week...you know what happened...please kill my cats...
  10. Profile photo of micky2
    micky2 Male 18-29
    225 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 8:08 am
    I am so dead.
  11. Profile photo of Backfat
    Backfat Male 30-39
    1895 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 8:09 am
    I have two cats, and came up with an easier way to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you.

    Is it breathing? If yes, then it is plotting to kill you.

  12. Profile photo of Coco_popsrox
    Coco_popsrox Female 18-29
    228 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 8:11 am
    we are screwed.
  13. Profile photo of Bekll
    Bekll Female 18-29
    1984 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 8:46 am
    *dies* Ah, they got me! Oh wait.. I`m dead. *silent*
  14. Profile photo of Oystah
    Oystah Female 40-49
    4032 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 9:04 am
    Awww they`re cute even when they`re going to kill you!
  15. Profile photo of Nidonemo
    Nidonemo Male 18-29
    9308 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 9:09 am
    "It`s not a gift, it`s a warning."

    HAH! XD

  16. Profile photo of britt566
    britt566 Female 18-29
    2290 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 9:16 am
    Sadly I don`t have my cats anymore. *tear*
  17. Profile photo of The-Sentinel
    The-Sentinel Male 18-29
    1149 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 9:51 am
    haha that one was awesome!!
  18. Profile photo of gamerx47
    gamerx47 Male 18-29
    331 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 10:50 am
    ha ha ha, this is the funniest thing ive seen in a while.
  19. Profile photo of malikymoo
    malikymoo Female 18-29
    2028 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 11:29 am
    lol thats good. cats scare me anyway, my auntys cats always pounce on me :S
  20. Profile photo of SoxXxhXcxSeX
    SoxXxhXcxSeX Female 18-29
    497 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 11:48 am
    im a kitty cat <33
  21. Profile photo of Mweebles
    Mweebles Female 18-29
    1653 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 12:14 pm
    My cats do all but the last 3
    O.o;;;
  22. Profile photo of Tisjokar
    Tisjokar Male 18-29
    985 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 12:17 pm
    If im dead in 2 weeks... you know why.
  23. Profile photo of BoomBox
    BoomBox Male 13-17
    1232 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 12:43 pm
    Cat`s are awesome. Well kittens are, cat`s suck.
  24. Profile photo of Tonyjet
    Tonyjet Male 18-29
    3298 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 12:58 pm
    f ucking cats, i knew it!!, <kills cat>
  25. Profile photo of searenee
    searenee Female 13-17
    70 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 1:23 pm
    Oh good, I needed this.
  26. Profile photo of kribbe
    kribbe Male 18-29
    2006 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 1:27 pm
    i think my brother`s cat totally going to kill me
  27. Profile photo of quaintness
    quaintness Male 13-17
    1086 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 1:40 pm
    I have no cats and my friends have dogs :)
  28. Profile photo of insaneee
    insaneee Female 13-17
    462 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 2:52 pm
    Cuuuute.
  29. Profile photo of Midnightlake
    Midnightlake Female 18-29
    449 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 3:17 pm
    Mine is partly planning to kill me :O
  30. Profile photo of Strawberry01
    Strawberry01 Female 13-17
    34 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 3:48 pm
    all three of my cats are plotting O_O BRING IT ON BITCHES!!
  31. Profile photo of luckyse7en
    luckyse7en Male 13-17
    2397 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 4:06 pm
    No, you can tell if a cat`s trying to kill you if you find a gun hidden in the litter box :P
  32. Profile photo of xiquiripat
    xiquiripat Male 18-29
    2422 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 4:15 pm
    Our cats would never kill us if only for the simple reason that humans make very effective servants and they are too lazy to do all the stuff we do for them. That`s the only reason we are still alive...
  33. Profile photo of PinkAndGreen
    PinkAndGreen Female 13-17
    917 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 6:04 pm
    My kitty also tries to trip me when I walk by...

  34. Profile photo of undeadonion
    undeadonion Female 18-29
    213 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 6:32 pm
    My cats fight a lot... I think they`re fighting about who gets my heart once they kill me.
  35. Profile photo of Rabachan
    Rabachan Male 18-29
    16 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 7:46 pm
    Yes, my cat must be close. He`s brought home 5 dead birds, and one partially alive, just to have me watch him torture it to death of how he will kill me.
  36. Profile photo of SoCal
    SoCal Male 18-29
    650 posts
    November 13, 2008 at 10:45 pm
    that was dumb
  37. Profile photo of wtffail
    wtffail Male 13-17
    162 posts
    November 14, 2008 at 3:33 am
    haha thats funny. everyones cat is plotting to kill them!
  38. Profile photo of Mindless2164
    Mindless2164 Male 18-29
    499 posts
    November 14, 2008 at 1:31 pm
    My cat have done all of these.. at the "bring dead animals" he killed two of my chinchillas about the same size of him..

    Scary...

  39. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15774 posts
    November 14, 2008 at 4:08 pm
    My cats are more like dogs... it`s weird.
  40. Profile photo of abby0315
    abby0315 Female 30-39
    1241 posts
    November 14, 2008 at 4:35 pm
    Also, when cats bring home dead animals, their not actually gifts. Cats think that we humans are stupid at hunting and need to be taught how to hunt and capture prey.
  41. Profile photo of tinyflames
    tinyflames Female 13-17
    98 posts
    November 14, 2008 at 5:47 pm
    <a href="http://www.heyquiz.com/quiz/cat_kill"><img src="http://www.heyquiz.com/bimage/14_87.jpg" alt="Is your cat plotting to kill you?" /></a>
  42. Profile photo of Vagrant86
    Vagrant86 Male 18-29
    2556 posts
    November 14, 2008 at 7:44 pm
    this is why i dont have a cat.
  43. Profile photo of miniestman
    miniestman Male 13-17
    12 posts
    November 15, 2008 at 3:16 am
    The test told me my cat was dangerous... :(
  44. Profile photo of Powerhouse83
    Powerhouse83 Male 18-29
    47 posts
    November 15, 2008 at 6:16 am
    I took the quiz and answered no to everything and it still said I had a 72% chance my cat is going to kill me. I am glad to find another time waster to entertain myself while I do nothing.
  45. Profile photo of USFEmoGirl
    USFEmoGirl Female 18-29
    1437 posts
    November 16, 2008 at 7:46 am
    That was pretty funny. I hate cats so I say we kill them all
  46. Profile photo of xFlashFirex
    xFlashFirex Female 13-17
    78 posts
    November 17, 2008 at 6:54 pm
    There is a 93% chance my cat is plotting to kill me.

    I KNEW IT!

  47. Profile photo of steelman
    steelman Male 13-17
    165 posts
    November 21, 2008 at 5:08 pm
    There is a 100% chance of my cat plotting to kill me and i don`t even have a cat!
  48. Profile photo of monkeyman828
    monkeyman828 Male 18-29
    103 posts
    March 14, 2010 at 5:03 pm
    mr.kittensworth would never harm me... would he...?

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