Real Life Cabbage Patch Kid

Submitted by: ichamps 8 years ago in Funny
See more funny videos at Funny or Die

And he sings too!
There are 77 comments:
Male 341
that would be an awesome start to a death metal song
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Female 148
The child most likely has mumps.
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Male 33
i think the kid is probably sick. He`s probably taking steriods which is causing his face to be large. It is not his fault or his parents. Blame the doctors :P
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Male 2,553
umm... omg...
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Male 140
That song makes me want to listen to death metal.
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Male 1,162
"I want to sodomize his parents for not teaching proper eating habits,"

You want to anally rape both his parents for allowing him to be fat? Awesome man. Some people are into building model airplanes but you happen to go for the bad parents. Thats cool.

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Male 455
Ok, two problems;
Kid`s not singing, he`s mouthing the words.
Due to his rolls and rolls of fat, all facial movements are horribly grotesque and exaggerated. I want to sodomize his parents for not teaching proper eating habits, or at least saying that he can have fun outside too, as opposed to sitting down with a gallon of icecream and watching whatever the hell kids love these days...what it is? Softcore porn? Yeah. That`s it.
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Male 336
damn, that kid probably weighs more than i do.
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Male 216
yup. i jsut watched it again.
im definatly going to make it a goal of mine to beat that kid
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Male 216
erk... i... just...so...drating cute...yet so....
erGH MUST KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont know why, but i cant look at that kid without wanting to stab him in the face
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Female 649
everyone else is bashing on him and his parents because he looks so fat... i was thinking that maybe he had oral surgery... ya know? that stuff makes your face swell..
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Female 649
uhhh what....? lol
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Female 5,139
"Saturday, October 18, 2008 9:36:39 PM
I want to prick his cheeks and watch the pus just spew forth in torrents as he screams curses at me in latin."


.....urrrrrrm....

D:

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Male 21
Haha! Where can I buy him?
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Male 1,164
i do hope that kid dies of a coranary soon ¬¬
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Male 438
goddamnit kyle!


he reminds me of cartman

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Female 68
"must buy Cabbage Patch Kid"...
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Male 70
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Male 70
\/\/\/THIS\/\/\/
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Male 2,486
"
IT`S IKE BROFLOVSKI!!!"

F*CK BROFLOVSKI, I`M GOING TO FIND THAT GUY WHO WENT BACK IN TIME VIA THE PORTAL UNDER HIS SINK, AND IM GOING TO GO BACK TO WHEN THIS VIDEO WAS CREATED, TAKE THE CAMERA, AND BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THE KID SINGING, SO NO ONE WILL EVER HAVE TO LAY THEIR EYES ONTO THIS ABOMINATION.

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Male 720
IT`S IKE BROFLOVSKI!!!
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Male 2,486
No, seriously, that ruined my whole day.

I want to tie him to the roof of my car, and roll it off a cliff.

I don`t know why this angered me so much, I just want to pop him I guess.

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Male 2,486
Johnny Christ, I want to punch this kid so hard in the face it`s not even funny.

I want to prop him up on a chair, run as fast as I can down a football field, and just KICK him as hard as I can into a busy freeway.

That made me angry. F*ckin kid.

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Male 3,296
omg duffy how could you???

how could you hit it tight on the dot so effin true

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Male 5,194
Gross. Why do parents always think their fat mutant hellspawn are cute?
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Male 1,837
monial, stfu n00b
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Female 393
LOL.
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Female 254
I think this kid`s got a future.
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Female 1,690
of course....if it is fake.
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Female 1,690
hahaha, that was kinda cute lawl. He can`t even see when he smiles hahaha XD
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Male 18
I don`t understand how any of you guys can be disgusted at something so obviously CGI. It screams FAKE ! Look at stif lips, "dead" eyes, non blinking (once) and eyebrow movement..comooon....
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Male 500
Poor fat kid, that`s child abuse, and he should be rescued from his parents.
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Male 4,680
That`s not the kid`s voice, this is the actual video the song`s from:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12Z6pWhM6...
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Female 767
...I don`t even know what to say.
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Female 2,258
peloos... that`s disgusting. I just don`t understand why parents let their kids get away with nearly all the poo they do. It`s mind boggling. Are people just that afraid of laying down some ground rules? Are they too lazy? Do they just not give a damn? What is so difficult about saying "no."? You hear all the time about parents complaining that if they try to keep their kids from doing something how they give in because the kid puts up a fuss... if you didn`t give in, they`d learn eventually that throwing a tantrum doesn`t get them anywhere... they cry because they know it works.
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Male 3,819
Things like this are the parents fault. I used to work in this restaurant...and like once a week this lady brought her 8 year old to eat. The "little girl`s" order ALONE was as follows:

2 small loaves of bread
Side Salad
20 hot wings
1 pretty big basket of fries

And she would clean the table. Sickening. All it takes is the mother saying "no".

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Male 458
ugh im going to hell for laughing at this.
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Female 1,264
I`td be funnier if didnt know he was miming. Even so, that kid freaks the sh*t outa me.
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Male 561
I honestly can`t wrap my head around this child being real. I think it`s just a animated puppet or something, I don`t know, but it LOOKS fake.
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Male 1,557
Holy... he looks like he`s going to pop!!
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Female 289
i think any child that his age that is close to 70 lbs or more with out a medical disability for
obesity needs to be taken away from their parents
and be put on a diet so they can be heathly later in life
i know its horrible for a kid to be taken away from their parents yes...but the way that kid looks
and the way most little kids look...they need help...maybe not taken away from their parents
but somthing needs to be done about it literally...
i feel so sorry for the kid, its not his fault about the video
or how much he ways so leave the fat jokes to ya self
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Female 97
How did his cheeks get like that? That`s not normal...

I love his eyebrows at the end xD

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Female 350
BAH! My arch nemesis!
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Male 1,686
I want to bitch slap his mom and crack a 2x4 upside his dad`s head. That is a fuced up thing to do to your kid
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Female 2,258
... mild?
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Female 687
aw, some of you guys are meannnnnn.

Despite his mild child obesity, he`s adorable :]

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Male 650
Politically incorrect time!!

FATTY FAT FAT FATTY FAT FAT FAT FATTY FAT FAT

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Male 1,835
i just threw up in my mouth... come to think of it this pizza does taste kinna weird
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Female 64
That is horrible. What do they feed that kid? Two cows a day?
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Male 438
hey you got somethin on your chin...other one...no down a few

not the right place to say it but i just thought id throw it out there. whats wrong with his cheeks..hopefully hes having an allergic reaction to some poo

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Female 216
Creeeeeppppyyyyyy
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Male 438
eeeeeeewwwwwwwwww
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Female 48
ugh

theres nothing quite as sickening as morbidly obese children

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Male 273
he`s lipsyncing. the original song is by a little girl, and that`s her voice.

the things my girlfriend listens to...

he does look like a cabbage-patch kid, though.

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Male 506
...Forget the question of health, this video was creepy!!! Scary devil child. He`s only using his cuteness to lure you in before devouring you. You know why the camera shook at the end? Because his tentacles were extending from his legs to grasp the person holding it so he could eat them. That`s why he`s so fat, because humans are filled with trans fats.
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Male 2,788
SO CUTE AND FUNNY.

i liked how his head moved.

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Male 7,933
I know parents who would have children like this.

Fat themselves, low self-esteem, figure that their child would be cute and fat and pampered and isolated and innocent

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Female 177
wait.. is that his real voice??? wtf..
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Male 54
Lauraly, that was my first thought. At first I thought he was having an allergic reaction or another condition that caused his face to swell. Then, I saw how chubby is body was. *sigh*

Who really needs good parenting and healthy habits anyways?

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Male 274
Cute and Funny, that was disgusting. That kid is going to be luck if he sees his teen years. Thick boned my ass. Maybe he should cut down his breakfast to 2 pancakes and not 20. Sad and sick video. ;-/
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Female 2,258
I`m not sure I see what is cute about a morbidly obese child. It`s sad really.. there`s no reason for him to look that way. Poor parenting is all it boils down to.
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Female 2,064
That was insanely cute and funny at the same time. XP
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Female 179
Yeah, I found this creepy
XD
It was cute at first, but his cheeks are waaaay too chubby.
Also, the end, with the eyebrows...
O__O;
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Male 143
I bet it took a week of physical abuse just to get the eyebrow dance.

Poor kid, here comes a life of ridicule. D:

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Female 1,306
this is....really eerie and sort of screams mental child abuse to me.
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Female 299
those cheeks almost look fake..

but this is so frickin cute

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Male 38
I`m actually weirded out by that.
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Female 367
For some reason it creeped me out. I was like "awwww" when I saw the kid, but the voice seems like it shouldn`t match him for some reason. I don`t know why...but.....it was creepy to me lol
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Male 54
Zerro: For some reason... this made me really angry.
_____________________________________________________

It`s okay. Chubby kids singing Cabbage Patch Kid songs make me angry, too.

Really though, this kid should be put on a diet. He doesn`t look to healthy there.

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Female 2,258
What was that growl at the beginning? o.0
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Female 15,763
Maybe.. he had teeth pulled...?

o-o;

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Male 626
For some reason... this made me really angry.
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Male 9,306
I want to prick his cheeks and watch the pus just spew forth in torrents as he screams curses at me in latin.
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Female 335
wha...?

what is it...

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Male 88
scary
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Female 360
haha I love this kid!
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Male 176
Link: Real Life Cabbage Patch Kid [Rate Link] - And he sings too!
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