The 8 Most Obnoxious Internet Commenters

Submitted by: opiebreath 8 years ago in Funny
http://www.cracked.com/article_16605_8-most-obnoxious-internet-commenters.html

#9 is you.
There are 72 comments:
Male 1,361
The best way to tell a bot apart from a real one, is the grammar, no one spells as exact as bots do,

excluding the "FAKESITEZOMGLULZGA1 (dot) COM" part

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Female 192
the worst is the great defender. i mean, if someone with no videos bashes someone who is actually funny i might say something to them...
but i hate it when people are like `don`t make fun of hitler, who knows what a terrible childhood he had. you have it so easy you mofo, shut up.` and also, the people that say: `this video sucks ass, fred it better than you. go watch fred. fag!!`
i am a fred robot, beep beep. i only listen to freeedddd.....
ugh.
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Male 228
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SEEN THE BOTS ON VARIOUS YOUTUBE VIDEOS?!?!? Hi, I`m young, sexy, lonely, blah blah blah, CAMZNET XXXGIRLZ ONENIGHTSTAND it goes on and on and ON!!!!
I have to say, a few of my comments are "Defender"ish, tho i try to make my comments actually worth reading.
...
And now i`m just trying too hard to set myself apart, which just makes me even more of a fag. Also, my comments can be ironic and self-insulting.
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Male 33
they also forgot the guy who ruins everyones fun, u know , the guy who comments on a video that u found effing hilarious and says some smartass line like " im waiting for the funny part..".
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Male 1,029
#1 on my list would be the defenders.
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Female 553
Hehe, those damned Paulers.
They just won`t shut up! All they do is chant "End the Fed!" and "No ID!"

But we feel like we accomplished so much. ;)

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Male 12
You guys are gay.
:]
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Male 3,296
your are a fag chaos
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Female 1,269
lol
im guilty....
for a few but not all the time....
so im good =D
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Female 152
grammar nazis should be on the list

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Male 43
Why would you guys take the time to read this thing when there are starving good for nothing I am a racist!s in I am a racist!town, Africa... BTW fags. And you should all vote for Nader because he`s the man, and if anyone says otherwise I`ll kick your ass.
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Male 848
Me the ninj-
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Male 254
THEY MISSED "FIRST?!!??!!" HA!
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Male 1,089
i think i have a little 5 and some 2. But for fun i throw in some 4. damn niggas
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Male 1,140
im a little of 6 and 2 but only like 7% #6 and 1% #3 the rest is all obnoxious random almost but not quite funny humor that makes 8 year olds posing as 16 year olds laugh and go "wow that was funny btw im eight years old".. that should be another person on there the 8 year old who poses as someone older. normal comment: "hahahahahahahahahaha he said the s-word (im not allowed to say the word b-cuz im only eight years old)" why we hate them: because they are just a waste of internet space, a buzz kill and never get through one sentence without pointing out their real age, also they somehow think that everyone else is going to rape them or they think they are their age. if your going to be on the internet at least go to a kids site. wow that felt good
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Male 7,933
"they forgot about the guy that tells stories of his life that no one cares about"

That reminds me of the time when I was talking to this old guy. He said "Kids have it so easy now.... with their fancy internets masturbation. When I was a kid. We had to sneak into our mom`s room, and go get the Sears Catalog. Pg 23, lingerie section and boy we went off! Now all they have to do is go online.... go to sears.com and look at the lingerie section themselves."


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Male 1,002
Great list but they missed the worst one of all - the person who turns every thread into a religious flamewar. They`re like the political activist but 1000 times more obnoxious and unfounded.
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Male 20,194
i`m offended by the jew bashing in this one. and i`m not even jewish.
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Male 374
ThIs iS GhEy
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Male 1,114
bergeracman you`re such a liar, i clicked that link and it`s just all "page cannot be found..."

Gosh...

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Male 3,425
WHat about the chain letter posters?

Copy and paste this as comment 500 times in 2 minutes or you will die suddenly, not kidding it happened to my uncle.

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Male 541
they forgot about the guy that tells stories of his life that no one cares about
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Male 12,138
pmarren, you`ve got it all wrong. It`s "Your a fag". Note the punctuation.
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Male 100
i`m downloading trojanhorse.rar....so what is it? a game?
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Male 1,091
yeah we have our own Mr.Science here on IAB... he revealed himself to me on the "asterid hits earth animation" or whatever it was called, explaining how mars consisted of some kind of gas and thats why it looked like that... cuz I said that Earth looks like Mars ( when Earth was in flames )
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Male 1,894
fourty-sixth!
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Male 4,594
I`m a ninja... you`re a fag.
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Male 1,365
They forgot the souths gonna do it again guy. Always touting why the South is better than the North and how he is a Rebel and proud..oh wait, my friend tells me that falls under "Hitlers Apprentice". Oops..sorry.
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Male 64
"press f6 to see your crushes name."

OMG MY CRUSH IS YOUTUBE! :O

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Female 1,496
FAKE!!! I saw strings on number 6. GHEY!
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Male 506
They forgot the "Please don`t read this! Next Friday...."
or
"If u say ur crushes name and press f5"
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Female 710
Where are the weeaboos?
And those racist commenters reeeeeeeeally piss me off.
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Female 182
What about grammar nazis? And agreed, FIRST!!!!!1!! should be no.1 just because they got there FIRSSSTT!!!!111
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Male 370
fag!

haha sorry. thought id try be the ninja! :P

No first commenters though? odd.

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Female 960
No, #1 should go to people who post the equivalent of verbal diarrhea in the form of a massive wall of words on the internet only dotted with "^_^" and "xD" to let you know when they have ended a sentence. They usually have horrid punctuation use and never learned what run-on sentence means.

See the post under me for reference.

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Male 591
Hmm.. Im trying to figure out which one I fall under most of all. It`s hard, so far though I think im the Science guy <_<, but I dont go that far, mostly just straight forward "your wrong, and this is why" followed by a sentence. I am guilty of doing a few of these though ^^; im just happy I have yet to be the macho asshat, but I think im science guy and Semi-defender (I mostly defend other posts), and im glad im not the racist -.-. I think the "ninja" guy is funny, always lightens my day though xD. I dislike the politics people when the topic doesnt go for politics! I think the list is spot on, although the bots really shouldnt count towards "commentators". The #1 spot should go to the "FIRST!!!!11oneeleven" people.
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Female 183
I wonder why the "FIRST!1" fools aren`t listed.
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Female 4,376
gay
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Female 744
*insert ad for fake site here*
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Female 929
: D Hehe love that website.I *wish* people`s avatars were their actual faces so we can spot the `tarded-looking people who brag about be4ing stronger/fitter/hotter than folks in the vids, and the macho-men who make threats but wouldn`t ever fight for real incase they broke their prescription glasses. :P
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Male 17,512
Everyone has been apart of one of these personalities at one time or another.
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Male 2,553
or now, "last post" right manorrd?
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Male 2,372
I`m surprised they didn`t include people who say "First Post!"
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Male 541
You`re a fag.
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Male 633
i don`t really agree with the defender thing unless it`s something that really doesn`t need to be defended. or mr. science if the person knows wtf they are talking about. the rest i agree with.
oh, they should have put in those animal rights activists that shout "animal abuse!!!!!!1!11!11!1" on any video even remotely mentioning an animel... if its a video of a dog barking... animal abuse. if its a video of a hamster running on a wheel and falling off... its totally animal abuse... ¬_¬*
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Female 913
They should start a new 12 step program for people with internet personality disorders.
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Male 1,254
I think I lean into Mr. Science a bit too often. But when Astro related posts come up I can`t help it!
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Male 493
I`m really glad I`m not any of these to the complete definition, but I have to admit I`m a Mr. Science at times. It`s just my inner AP Chemistry and Physics talking.
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Female 602
Some of these are ok as long as they are not done constantly... like the defender, and the Science guy.
The internet is meant to be factual, and if there are jerks online, shouldn`t some people point that out?

Eh... I dunno...

The internet is an odd place.

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Male 9,306
*cringe* Blegh...I just hate how anonymity is horrifically abused like some cheap plastic slut on the filthy streets of the internet.
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Male 1,835
where`s the weeaboo?
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Female 460
You can`t see me..
I iz neenja.
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Male 814
lol,k,so if you squint really hard, you can unscramble the usernames....pretty sure the bot with the rack was named fancylad...
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Male 1,766
"#9 is you"
Finally a personlized IAB page
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Female 15,763
Hey, Fancy thought of a wittier description than I could!

Ha!

Cool.

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Female 193
i can`t belive they didnt have a FIIIRSST!!!!11 poster in that list :P lol
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Male 5,970
Id like to see this, but with the top nine IAB Users!
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Male 776
...idiots
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Male 7,933
idontknow.... your a fag
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Male 807
I think like the ninja, but never post.
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Male 907
You`re*** a fag.

=/ I`m bored still. Except I got a laugh out of that. Last I checked, it should be you`re.

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Male 445
I was looking for which was #9 for about two minutes before I figured it out...
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Female 738
I think perhaps I`m most like the ninja... maybe.
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Male 336
What, no fancylad?

ok those jokes suck

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Female 143
I`ve seen them all on here. But they are so much fun to read. -.o

You get a laugh or 2. It`s great!

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Male 7,933
I think im 7.
"There are millions of starving children in the world, and you guys are getting worked up over some puppies?"

God there are a bunch of those in IAB. But my Macho Man-ess makes me enjoy the flying puppies.

"If the video or story or photo has a black person in it, this guy will be there unleashing all of the racial epitaphs he`s been forced to bottle up while in polite society."

Its fun to make fun of these people... a lot.

"How can you guys sit here and watch a video about two girls pooping into a cup when America is being turned into a Fascist police state?"

Thats practically all of IAB. See a lot of those to.


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Female 83
haha that`s sooo faaaaakkkeeee
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Female 627
Hitler`s Apprentice:

"jews are always attention whores"

I laughed at that one. I`m still laughing, actually.

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Male 28
FAKE!!
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Male 307
Hitler`s apprentice...? But the KKK was pre-hitler.
Hitler is Teh Ku Kluxs` lil` helper
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Male 222
#1 is so true.
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Female 15,763
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