6 Martial Arts for Killing a Man With Your Hands

Submitted by: wyllups 8 years ago in Sports
http://www.cracked.com/article_16595_6-great-martial-arts-killing-man-with-your-bare-hands.html

Forget learning martial arts so you can break plywood and win awards. You can kill people with these 6 martial arts.
There are 40 comments:
Female 1,231
Tread softly and practice Eskrima...?
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Male 99
Cameltoe, I have been taking Krav Maga for a while now, and there is no way in hell you, or anyone you know could hold me in a choke hold for more than 3 seconds before something on you broke. :)
I agree with the list. Krav Maga is brutal. It teaches you how to win a fight, not a match. The first thing I was taught was how to disarm a gun from point blank and kill the opponent.
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Male 247
Knuckles to the throat; that`s all one needs to know.
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Male 2,395
I`ve been wanting to learn eskrima for years.... especially when I was still living in the philippines. I`d Preferably use it when I get attacked by thugs after buying 2 broomsticks from the supermarket >_>
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Male 76
I`m in tae kwon do.
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Female 6
Eskrima look slike it would kick arse. Always good to have a martial art where you get to carry a couple of big sticks around with you.
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Female 929
~Schnetty.. cooooool : D What kinda weapon? A hammer?
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Male 14,334
Nah Gun fu is the most deadly here`s an example.

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Male 118
I would put karate pretty high up there, I`ve been kicked by my karate instructor behind a massive foam pad, and believe me, you wouldn`t get up after it.
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Male 1,244
Also, that chick in the Eskrima picture looks like Sarah Silverman... <_< >_> fap. fap. fap. fap. fap...
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Male 1,244
I know I wouldnt want to get hit by the butt stroke, and thats not supposed to be funny. Check the video
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Male 14,334
I never relized you could make a metal toxic I thought the heat would destroy it and hehehe Semper fu pretty funny.
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Male 1
I do Dim Mak!!!!!!!!!

In my country i`m not allowed to start a fight or else i can get sued because i am classified as a deadly Human Weapon.

But with these Martial arts you could kill someone if you wanted to.

Also depends who you`re fighting!!!!!

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Male 2,958
"There`s also a weapon associated with silat, the kris. It`s a wavy knife used with quick, stabbing motions aimed at soft spots on the body. Oh, also, one of the most deadly neurotoxins in the world is smelted directly into the metal and that just a scratch is enough to kill you within seconds"

woooah

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Male 152
that was a horrible list. why would they even have the stick fighting one with the title of the list includes the words "with your bear hands?" there are some better candidates for that list out there.
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Male 324
two things

1.martial arts all involve knowing the distance your opponent is away from you, but in kendo (the hardest martial art) you have to know your opponets sword and body distance making it very hard.

2. dim mak is the deadliest martial art

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Female 929
Hmm.. Nothing beats a hearty kick to the balls and a slap to the chops. ...>:D
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Male 189
hehe... alot of these look pretty brutal. But if i had to pick one.. Silat.. lol. Kick em in the nuts and punch him in the nose on the way down..hell kick him in the head when hes on the ground just to be sure.
The number 1 spot really didn`t look that brutal to be honest, maybe it was just a bad video they used to represent it.
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Male 8
i dont really agree with that list. simply because i think that if you want to kill someone, breaking his neck or chocking him to death is way more reliable than kicking his face. ok, i have never done those martial arts, so i cant be too sure, but muay thai does not have chocke holds as far as i know. not sure about krav maga, silat, eskrima, mcmap.
for sambo, i know several sambo fighters. in russia, those who do best in sambo are sent to the judo schools, because even the russian sambo fighters say judo is often more effective(if more difficult to learn). putin got the black belt in judo ^^
so in my opinion, judo and ju-justu are missing, along with any other martial art that employs chocke holds and goes right for breacking the other guys neck
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Male 493
I think Mirko Cro Cop`s Left High Kick could kill a man. Oh yeah Cung Le broke Frank Shamrock`s arms with a High kick.
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Male 602
Cool. I actually do escrima...Everyone asks "Oh what belt are you? Is that high?", since there`s no system like that, I just says something stupid like "I`m a white t-shirt."
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Male 2,796
As a MCMAP instructor since 2001 I can say that, among other things, there are many Krav Maga moves in the MCMAP. (Marine Corps Martial Arts Program) Plus we use earth tone color belts. tan, grey, green, brown, black. It can be very effective if taken seriously.
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Female 215
I took karate for two years, and yeah. It doesn`t compete with Muay Thai.
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Male 1,556
I do KM every once in a while.
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Male 77
hah. i want to learn some of these
how awesome would it be to be able to break every bone in your friends body just because you feel like it
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Female 602
Thetas, that`s awesome.
I can only set my opponent on fire... :-/
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Male 264
Karate is still #1
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Male 1,540
Pft. I just stare in to my opponent`s soul and he screams in agony as the entire inside of his body turns to smoldering yogurt.
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Female 192
wow. that`s cool.
I take martial arts, but I don`t think I could kill anyone with it. XD
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Male 1,765
Muay Thai, of course. The list wouldn`t be complete without it.
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Female 15,763
Haha, you`re welcome Snive.
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Male 270
gotta love the russians who can tear your arm off in a millisecond
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Male 509
I learned about Krav Maga on How I Met Your Mother.

Yeah, most of my education comes from situation comedies. NBC, ABC, CBS, I owe you so much.

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Female 602
Opie, I took a karate class... and I couldn`t even yell out "HAI!" when we were supposed to because I just find it so ridiculous...
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Male 1,766
I new sambo was a martial art
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Female 602
Thank You for sharing Opie...
I now know how to harm people.... without safety pins. :-)
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Female 15,763
I took a self defense class where I learned how to "kill" someone. I mean, I would`ve needed the right skill... but if you place your hand, knuckles out, and jam it up right under their chin in the squishy part hard enough, you can break someone`s neck.

:D

That was a fun class. I was the only student that signed up, so it was like one on one teaching. But then I ended up "demonstrating" it on the school`s news network, and I was taught to yell things like "911!" and "Help!" when punching and kicking and stuff, so kids all called me the 911 girl.

:[

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Female 602
I don`t know any of them...
That`s why I carry around safety pins. }:-]
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Female 1,690
that is....scary <:o
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Male 22
Link: 6 Martial Arts for Killing a Man With Your Hands [Rate Link] - Forget learning martial arts so you can break plywood and win awards. You can kill people with these 6 martial arts.
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