Cosmopolitan Completes Sex Study

Submitted by: littlemissqt 9 years ago in Funny

Cosmo scientists finally cataloged every single way to satisfy your man"s carnal cravings by stimulating his sex zones.
There are 73 comments:
Female 28
hahahaha
sh*t yerself thin!
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Female 78
I would like to get a whole season of this show.
Haha. Some of their stories are actually pretty convincing. My favorite is the leprechaun one.
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Male 297
hahahahah the best part of onion posts is when people on here say "fake"
really now? fake? you sure??
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Female 340
Primetimekin...You omitted `Get him a beer`*
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Male 41
The best thing I ever saw out of them was the video about the leukemia patient who wished for infinite wishes from the "Make a Wish Foundation". Funniest part..."We assembled a legal team to sort this out, but young Tommy quickly wished away the team...and as you know we were forced to comply".
Roflmao
And totally off topic, but did anyone catch the 4x100m freestyle relay? If you did, then you will understand this...
SUCK IT FRANCE!
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Female 8
What is wrong with women today? Cosmopolitan is supposed to empower women... by pleasing their men?
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Male 615
^^^
...
...

But anyway, the video wasn`t what i was expecting from the Onion, but whatever.

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Male 69
opie breath, what happened to your limbs
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Female 19
LOL QueenZira XD

My advice: make sure you`re in love with the right person.

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Female 529
1) Show up naked
2) Bring beer
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Female 70
` serial killer with down syndrome commits 5th inspirational murder`

HAAHAHAHAHa

good one ;D

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Female 2,228
LMAO
cosmo is a s#itrag I wouldn`t use to line a bird`s cage if I liked the bird.
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Male 25
i came
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Female 584
I wonder how much that woman with the glasses gets.
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Male 169
Erm. OBV fake...
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Female 182
Hahaha. The hula hoop maneuver.
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Male 10,440
that spot is just spine! Touching it does nothing! LIESS!!
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Male 336
What the fake
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Female 73
`every super hot sex position`
` turn your mans legs to jelly`

lmao

and then at the end we see:
` serial killer with down syndrome commits 5th inspirational murder`

err nice show, guys.

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Male 445
opiebreath
Female, 13-17, Western US
2865 Posts Saturday, August 09, 2008 7:44:42 PM
My mom has like, an extreme aversion to onions. She has to wear goggles when she cuts them. I can practically rub them in my eyes and be fine, it`s really weird.

====

You are the funniest.

WTF???

ROFL.

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Female 262
Cosmo is a horrible magazine, i tried to read it once and my brain literally died through its lack of information.

Want sex aadvice, heres my sex advice... Don`t sleep with someone you can`t talk to, learnt to turn yourself on before you expect someone else to do it, don`t over think virginity, sex isn`t serious so don`t take it as such, do it because you want to not because its "cool" and play safe!
Jeez, sex isn`t rocket science dudes.

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Female 3,001
i think the fact that everyone other than me, who is a 17 year old girl, thinks cosmo sucks
is not a good sign for them
seeing as there magasine is designed for people much older than me
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Female 3,001
plus in this months they tell you the best way to be sexually fuflfilled, also good advice (Y)
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Female 3,001
i read that cosmopolitan yesterday
its good advice!
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Female 262
Someone should tell Ray that the internet is made for porn so he will leave opie alone, she be taken.

And the video... Its taking ages to load, damn me for stealing internet with a piss poor connection... Argh, reminds me of dial up without the attractive noise.

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Male 8,300
What a complete waste of time and money. It takes 2 seconds...

1. Shut up
2. Do what ur told
3. I don`t care, do it anyway

(go on flame me lol)

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Male 472
so when the o movie comming out?
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Male 9,305
Fifth inspirational murder. XD
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Male 386
i dunno if it`s just me but i`m finding that the onion isn`t as funny as i first thought. maybe it`s because i realize it`s the onion when i first start watching it so there`s no, oh-man-i-can`t-believe-the-news-repoted-this-crap-rofl stage.
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Male 815
haha cosmo...

and with all of the "in the next hour" little bits on the onion, i always wanna see that way more then the thing i just watched... so it`s kinda a let down, ya dig?

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Male 178
^lol
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Male 695
This sucks so much it has got to be the onion...
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Male 2,160
dont forget to coat it in wax paper, keeps the rain out.
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Female 15,763
*facepalm*
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Male 121
oh come on CZX, you know you`re jealous and want one now too. OPIE THIS IS THE 1337. We can put our welcome mat right outside it and cut out a door and windows too :O Even put curtains for "privacy reasons" ;-)
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Male 178
lol a fridge box
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Male 121
lol ouch >_< FRIDGE BOX!? :O OPIE WE GOT A FRIDGE BOX!!
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Male 2,160
rooms are costly, think i saw a old fridge box out back though.
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Female 15,763
Wait, what? D: *has just read everything*

...I have a girlfriend!

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Male 178
^lawlz
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Female 1,545
lol I love the Onion and how people think it`s serious news.
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Male 7,933
^^^^
Expires next month
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Male 178
omg enough wit the sarcasm ffs
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Male 2,160
*headdesk* NO it is not real, and those who for some reason think it is, please go and see if the warranty on your mind is still good.
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Female 15,763
For those wondering if it`s real...

No.

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Male 121
it`s absolutely real. The onion is bigger than the associated press! THEY DEMAND SERIOUSNESS! I mean, look at their video about the dream omelet for goodness sake! :O
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Female 339
This isnt actually real, is it?
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Female 1,944
Not really
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Female 15,763
Miss, do you know what The Onion is?
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Male 2,160
ya, she does, you win a award for being the greatest observer of the obvious to ever live.
feel honored.
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Female 1,944
Okay, at the beginning does she say "poo yourself thin?"
i swear to god thats what i heard
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Male 178
*cough*ray and opie get a room*cough* jk lol
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Female 15,763
My mom has like, an extreme aversion to onions. She has to wear goggles when she cuts them. I can practically rub them in my eyes and be fine, it`s really weird.
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Female 264
lmaoooo. the onion.
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Female 15,763
I saw this somewhere really recently... I swear I have!

D:

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Male 489
too much onion recently :(
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Female 193
i thought this was going to be real until she said "$hit yourself thin" then i looked and saw it was the onion lol
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Male 1,825
i hope they make a super inspirational movie about that serial killer. i think cuba gooding junior should star.


Who said that cosmo was made to turn women into whores?

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Male 178
^its epic fail not major fail lol
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Female 321
I am detecting major fail in this quadrant, Capn.
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Male 83
^ lol
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Female 960
Hahaha, anyone who gets sex tips out of Cosmo is a tool.

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Male 7,933
Over 1 million ways????
1) Suck his stick
2) Play with the balls
3) Dont talk so much
4) Make him a sandwich
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Male 2,160
foxnew: it´s not. the question should be why it exists.
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Male 178
omg the onion sucks
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Male 2,160
the little hamster in my head says you´ve gone crazy
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Female 123
why is that funny?
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Female 15,763
...Is this a really recent repost, or have I finally gone crazy?

Both are plausible.

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Female 157
...Okay then.
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Male 250
hahaha?
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Male 2,160
yeah...okay...
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Male 45
kinky
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Female 1,605
Link: Cosmopolitan Completes Sex Study [Rate Link] - Cosmo scientists finally cataloged every single way to satisfy your man`s carnal cravings by stimulating his sex zones.
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