Rockin' in the free world since 2005.

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22 Comments - View/Add
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Rating: 3.4
Category: Funny
Date: 08/08/08 07:32 AM

22 Responses to Carpet Monkey

  1. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18499 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 6:33 am
    Link: Carpet Monkey - How can you go wrong with a carpet company that has a gun-toting monkey in their commercials?
  2. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12151 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 7:35 am
    If I had a monkey, I would teach it to download porn for me. This way I could spend my time watching it instead of looking for it. I estimate this would save me one hundred and thirty hours a week. I would obviously require a monkey with similar tastes to mine but how hard can it be to find a monkey with a penchant for pregnant german women in latex?
  3. Profile photo of alice_x
    alice_x Female 18-29
    5143 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 7:35 am
    :-( ...whats that monkey doing in a carpet shop ¬.¬

    an i didnt laugh... -srsface-

  4. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12151 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 7:42 am
    Actually, on second thoughts, if I had a monkey, I would name it Steve Darls and use it for scientific research. I would then publish my findings in a journal titled "Monkey Vs Electricity". With the proceeds from the sale of this publication, I would buy a potters wheel and kiln and produce my own range of contemporary, modern living, statues of monkeys. I could make a cast of my dead monkey and use it to produce to-scale ceramic monkeys. I would design a sticker stating that part proceeds go to Greenpeace but would keep all the money for myself. With the money, I would buy drugs and spend my days stoned, listening to music and turning pots.
  5. Profile photo of harpoonerism
    harpoonerism Female 13-17
    47 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 7:45 am
    And the Indian guy is related how? x]
  6. Profile photo of BlackiPod
    BlackiPod Male 18-29
    1246 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 7:45 am
    You never cease to amaze me Davy
  7. Profile photo of laMigra77
    laMigra77 Male 30-39
    292 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 7:46 am
    That monkey must be a racist!! He shot the foreign brother... the one that was probably adopted. Monkies sure are funny, especially when wearing clothing.
  8. Profile photo of techgeek07
    techgeek07 Male 30-39
    2594 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 7:48 am
    If only more commercials were like that
  9. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12151 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 7:49 am
    Bollocks, I`m going to stick to my original plan: If I had a monkey, I would borrow my mums sewing machine and make my monkey a little monkey suit. Then if anyone said "Thats not a real monkey, it`s just a monkey suit, I can see the zipper", I could say "I bet you fifty dollars it is a real monkey" and when they said "that seems like a reasonable bet, you are on", my monkey would take off the monkey suit and they would have to pay me fifty dollars. I would buy drugs with the fifty dollars. Not for me, for the monkey. So he wouldn`t mind spending his life in a monkey suit.
  10. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11742 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 7:52 am
    "And the Indian guy is related how?"

    Mom had a fling with the manager of the local 7-11.


    Monkeys with guns FTW!!

  11. Profile photo of yellowsquare
    yellowsquare Female 18-29
    1545 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 7:56 am
    OMGSRSLY....Chimpanzee. Not monkey. There is a HUGE difference.

    </sarcasm>

  12. Profile photo of alice_x
    alice_x Female 18-29
    5143 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 7:57 am
    lmao davymid.. what the hell
  13. Profile photo of Bucky Katt
    Bucky Katt Female 18-29
    216 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 8:00 am
    1. Where the hell did the guy in yellow come from?? He looks kinda looks like a monkey...Monkey`s uncle maybe??
    2. I want a monkey
    3. I want whatever davymid is on...lmao
  14. Profile photo of Apple_18
    Apple_18 Female 18-29
    475 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 8:10 am
    Davymind, heres a thought. if you had a monkey, you could name it Steve Darls; somehow use it to scientifically find new ways to look up various pornographic selections while wearing a little monkeysuit so you can make your bets, and buy your drugs. Then, when the monkey dies, you can cast its dead body to sell ceramic monkeys ....and then spend your days stoned listening to music, and turning pots. =)

    sounds like the high life to me 8-)

  15. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15782 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 8:14 am
    *blinks*

    Davy, you just made me completely forget what I was going to put as a comment.

    Woooow.

  16. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12151 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 8:16 am
    ^^ " I want whatever davymid is on...lmao"

    I live in Amsterdam. I just spent most of the afternoon in a typical Dutch "coffee-shop". You fill in the blanks.

    And Apple, I`m loving it. I`m off to buy a monkey- ebay, here I come....

  17. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12151 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 8:30 am
    If I had a monkey, I would teach him how to do my hair - using the appropriate amount of product. I would then set the alarm for him to get up half an hour before I do and do my hair while I am still asleep. This would either give me more time in the morning or allow me to spend more time sleeping. I would just waste the extra half hour anyway so probably better to sleep but as I usually don`t rock up to work till ten thirty or so, I could try leaving earlier. This would give me more time to think about what I would do if I had a monkey.
  18. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12151 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 8:31 am
    For those of you who are (understandably) concerned for my mental health, what`s more worrying is that I was in completely clear state of mind when I wrote this one...

    http://www.i-am-bored.com/forums.asp?action=read&ct=10&q_id=32562&read_page=2&ss=&search_where=

  19. Profile photo of RayBeaudoin
    RayBeaudoin Male 13-17
    121 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 8:32 am
    Haha, that was great. :D "He`s drinking his blood!"
  20. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15782 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 9:31 am

    Oh, Davy...

    PS, when googling "headdesk" I get, "Related searches: facepalm"

  21. Profile photo of Fartacus
    Fartacus Female 50-59
    529 posts
    August 8, 2008 at 10:00 am
    Somehow I think those 3 brothers had 3 different fathers.
  22. Profile photo of SmartSketch
    SmartSketch Male 70 & Over
    83 posts
    August 10, 2008 at 8:52 am
    REPOST

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