The best in arts & entertainment, news, pop culture, and your mom since 2002.

[Total: 76    Average: 3.5/5]
128 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 29874
Rating: 3.5
Category: Weird
Date: 08/01/08 08:33 AM

128 Responses to 6 Gross Things They Don`t Mention About Childbirth

  1. Profile photo of SaintPatty
    SaintPatty Male 18-29
    970 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 5:55 am
    Link: 6 Gross Things They Don`t Mention About Childbirth - Thinking of having a baby anytime in your life? You`ll drop that idea real quick after reading what`s involved.
  2. Profile photo of Camelnoise
    Camelnoise Male 18-29
    260 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:37 am
    placenta look awesome
  3. Profile photo of grlgeorge1
    grlgeorge1 Female 40-49
    41 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:38 am
    these are all true.....and may I suggest to anyone going to have a baby....DO THE DRUGS!!!! "Natural childbirth" is VERY PAINFULL!!
    also, if you want to make sure you don`t have more kids....make the dad WATCH!
  4. Profile photo of alice_x
    alice_x Female 18-29
    5140 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:41 am
    id never have a completly natural birth..i dont get it, when theres things that can help you through it AND not damage the baby. why go through the pain?

    btw i already knew about all of these, my mum said i had an alien head when i was born ^_^

  5. Profile photo of luckyse7en
    luckyse7en Male 13-17
    2397 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:41 am
    Wow, I actually never knew that there was a bill. >_>
  6. Profile photo of Sabre200000
    Sabre200000 Male 18-29
    1039 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:41 am
    What part of that would stop you from having a baby. We had a beautiful baby girl and I didn`t pay attention, let alone see most of the examples, to 99% of that stuff. Also, my wifes childbirth actually made her....well, younger downstairs after she healed up..LOL.

    Nothing would stop either of us providing a little brother or sister in the future.

    (also, a bag/apron is set up to catch everything like the placenta/feces...so you really don`t see any of that stuff happening..it just falls out of view into it)

  7. Profile photo of mylostdog
    mylostdog Female 18-29
    471 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:44 am
    O.O
  8. Profile photo of Oystah
    Oystah Female 40-49
    4032 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:48 am
    I wonder what ever happened as humans evolved to make it so complicated for us to deliver babies? Have you ever seen a giraffe do it? I mean, cripe, it just stands there and bloops out this spindly multi-legged thing while it`s nonchalantly eating leaves and looking out for lions, the newborn then freefalls a good six feet to the dusty ground, stands up, shakes off and that`s that.
  9. Profile photo of Ghostofme16
    Ghostofme16 Female 18-29
    386 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:49 am
    HMMM

    placenta, tasty

  10. Profile photo of BlackiPod
    BlackiPod Male 18-29
    1244 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:49 am
    If I remember correctly, my father was so toughened by my birth experience that when my sister was born, he ordered a plate of sea food and watched the whole thing front and center. This is not a joke. This is the man I was raised by.
  11. Profile photo of alice_x
    alice_x Female 18-29
    5140 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:51 am
    actually Oystah alot of animals have trouble with it too, its just one of those things, it either goes smoothly or it doesnt, theres nothing you can do about it. except wait lol
  12. Profile photo of msdenee
    msdenee Female 18-29
    239 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:53 am
    As a pregnant mother of 1, who`s been billed outrageously for an episiotomy - It`s really not all that gross!

    I look forward to everything they mentioned again in September - childbirth is awesome!

  13. Profile photo of Camelnoise
    Camelnoise Male 18-29
    260 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:54 am
    BlackiPod

    Thats f*** funny

  14. Profile photo of Burton_Ian
    Burton_Ian Male 18-29
    815 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:54 am
    ...alright so i clicked on and saw the placenta... and i don`t think i`m going to finish my strawberry toster strudel now.. ha
  15. Profile photo of mylostdog
    mylostdog Female 18-29
    471 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:54 am
    i dig the lip ring blackipoddd
  16. Profile photo of Turnshroud
    Turnshroud Female 18-29
    4225 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:55 am
    Humans have become more sophisticated and complex over time.
  17. Profile photo of MidniteRun
    MidniteRun Male 13-17
    72 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:56 am
    Great, I just had to read this when I was eating a placenta didn`t I? Gross.
  18. Profile photo of alice_x
    alice_x Female 18-29
    5140 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:57 am
    yeah... animals just find a bush and do it there, its only embarassing for us cos..well like turnshroud said, we have become more sophisticated, but its a natural thing, and so what if you give birth to a giant blod of bloody placenta afterwards.. dogs eat a few of theirs. lol
  19. Profile photo of alice_x
    alice_x Female 18-29
    5140 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:57 am
    lol @ blod ...

    blob*

  20. Profile photo of Turnshroud
    Turnshroud Female 18-29
    4225 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:58 am
    ^Humans somtimes eat animal placentas.

    And unborn ducks

    and unborn dogs

    and...yeah

  21. Profile photo of alice_x
    alice_x Female 18-29
    5140 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 8:59 am
    i wouldnt call them human, anyone who eats an unborn dog is just.... wrong in the face
  22. Profile photo of Oystah
    Oystah Female 40-49
    4032 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:00 am
    I am sure I saw something somewhere about people who eat placenta. Maybe we`re not as sophisticated as we think! Ewwww. Nature is wacky.
  23. Profile photo of alice_x
    alice_x Female 18-29
    5140 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:02 am
    alright alright ill rephrase it....
    dogs eat theirs (and its normal...)
  24. Profile photo of starlasatur9
    starlasatur9 Female 18-29
    140 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:02 am
    the only thing ickier than placenta is a teratoma...
  25. Profile photo of Backfat
    Backfat Male 30-39
    1895 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:03 am
    man, this had to be posted after my wife got pregnant.
  26. Profile photo of LemonTarte
    LemonTarte Female 18-29
    1441 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:04 am
    Ew what the hell? Child birth is disgusting.

    (Yeah I`m immature I dont care)

  27. Profile photo of the_windy
    the_windy Female 18-29
    1589 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:05 am
    Wow, I never knew that you poo your pants while giving birth. O__O
  28. Profile photo of Pattywagon
    Pattywagon Male 13-17
    64 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:06 am
    Yeah long time ago like middle ages or something people ate their placenta after giving birth.Giving birth puts a real strain on the body and you lose alot of blood...and supposedly the placenta is like iron rich so what you lose after birth they ate it to regain some vitamins. And it mightve had some symbolic meaning idk,...yeah
  29. Profile photo of smartbomb314
    smartbomb314 Male 13-17
    1220 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:06 am
    "They may also taste like fresh roofing tar, but who wants to eat fresh roofing tar just to make that comparison?"

    that`s silly!

  30. Profile photo of Gerbear
    Gerbear Female 18-29
    1186 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:07 am
    gawd, it`s like goatse all over again
    i WISH i hadn`t seen that placenta picture
    officially scarred for life
    despite all the horrible facts this article has elightened me with,
    i think i`m still going to have a baby one of these days, a c sections the best way to go! xD
  31. Profile photo of alice_x
    alice_x Female 18-29
    5140 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:08 am
    "Friday, August 01, 2008 9:05:55 AM
    Wow, I never knew that you poo your pants while giving birth. O__O"

    really? i thought it was obvious. with all the contracting muscles in that area.. its not like you can control each muscle that well, when you gotta go...you gotta go

  32. Profile photo of alice_x
    alice_x Female 18-29
    5140 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:09 am
    Gerbear not ...always, i knwo someone who woke up during their c-section.. sorry to inform you
  33. Profile photo of alice_x
    alice_x Female 18-29
    5140 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:09 am
    ohh ffs tyops lol... meh
  34. Profile photo of Oystah
    Oystah Female 40-49
    4032 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:09 am
    www.twilightheadquarters.com/placenta.html

    Okay, ew. Oh, and, yes, smartbomb, who sampled baby poo and roofing tar for that comparison?

  35. Profile photo of Sirugel
    Sirugel Male 13-17
    100 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:14 am
    I really dont find the placenta that nasty. Just looks like a really tasty heart.
  36. Profile photo of Gerbear
    Gerbear Female 18-29
    1186 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:14 am
    "Gerbear not ...always, i knwo someone who woke up during their c-section.. sorry to inform you"

    eh, i`ll make the decision when the time eventually comes
    either way, the lil bugger has to come out =)

  37. Profile photo of _Perfection_
    _Perfection_ Male 18-29
    1788 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:15 am
    That`s why I kidnapped all of my children.
  38. Profile photo of Crapsniper
    Crapsniper Male 13-17
    209 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:16 am
    The placenta looks like a meaty steak....


    like, fresh cut from a cow...and tender & meaty...


    oh god that`s making me hungry now D:

  39. Profile photo of Aqua_Bird
    Aqua_Bird Female 13-17
    532 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:18 am
    I would NEVER go through this.
    If I wanted a child (un-bloody-likely), I`d adopt one or something.
  40. Profile photo of WHOISIT12345
    WHOISIT12345 Male 18-29
    4394 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:22 am
    hahaha The Bill...
  41. Profile photo of mylostdog
    mylostdog Female 18-29
    471 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:26 am

  42. Profile photo of nokirarr
    nokirarr Male 13-17
    90 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:30 am
    Ahh! I`m glad i`m male : D
  43. Profile photo of BakaNeko728
    BakaNeko728 Female 18-29
    665 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:32 am
    i no longer want a baby T_T sounds too painful
  44. Profile photo of Dooked
    Dooked Male 18-29
    516 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:32 am
    ANOTHER stolen link from cracked?
  45. Profile photo of Aciliveth
    Aciliveth Male 18-29
    285 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:46 am
    I never knew about the crapping yourself. Of course now that I think about it, it`s very obvious.

    God that placenta picture was really freaking creepy and gross...

  46. Profile photo of Aqua_Bird
    Aqua_Bird Female 13-17
    532 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:47 am
    ^^^ `stolen`?!
    It`s merely linked.
    And that is the ENTIRE point of this site...to find interesting things to `unbore` people. It just so happens that cracked make quite a few interesting things.
  47. Profile photo of Aqua_Bird
    Aqua_Bird Female 13-17
    532 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:47 am
    That was to Dooked, by the way...
  48. Profile photo of Igmo
    Igmo Male 18-29
    1263 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:49 am
    "these are all true.....and may I suggest to anyone going to have a baby....DO THE DRUGS!!!! "Natural childbirth" is VERY PAINFULL!!"


    Haha, yeah. When my mother was pregnant with me, she said she wanted to do it the natural way.
    20 hours in labor later, she told me she was screaming "GIVE ME THE DAMN DRUGS."


    Ahhhhh.

  49. Profile photo of Gunit1
    Gunit1 Female 13-17
    850 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:50 am
    C-Section, C-Section, C-section.
    No poop.
    Not as much pain as poppin a melon out ur vag.
    Ya, bigger bill tho.....
    (that is wat im gonna do.)
  50. Profile photo of runawaylolly
    runawaylolly Female 18-29
    90 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:53 am
    meh, I learned this stuff in health
  51. Profile photo of GummyWurmz
    GummyWurmz Female 13-17
    1412 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 9:59 am
    We don`t have bills in the uk ^>^ we have the NHS.
  52. Profile photo of GummyWurmz
    GummyWurmz Female 13-17
    1412 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 10:01 am
    Aaand about the placenta thingy, my friend has already planned on giving her placenta to another friend for her to eat >.<
  53. Profile photo of shiggin
    shiggin Female 13-17
    1470 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 10:08 am
    LOL i can tottaly see this happening one day
    "CONGRATULATIONS, U HAVE A NEW ...loaf of crap?"
    LOL
  54. Profile photo of msdenee
    msdenee Female 18-29
    239 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 10:13 am
    "www.twilightheadquarters.com/placenta.html"

    Come on now, where was the warning with this!? Placental recipes, disgusting!

  55. Profile photo of elHadji
    elHadji Male 70 & Over
    1455 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 10:14 am
    WTF BILLS? But they`re talking about the US, right?
  56. Profile photo of Will-O-Wisp
    Will-O-Wisp Female 18-29
    458 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 10:24 am
    Yeah. I don`t want to have kids. I didn`t before I read this, and I don`t after. I also read that (here`s one that Cracked missed) having kids /can/ pinch the nerves leading to your clit.

    Which means, you now have a little brat and you never get to enjoy sex again.

  57. Profile photo of Oystah
    Oystah Female 40-49
    4032 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 10:25 am
    Sorry Msdenee. Can you stand it, though? Placenta in a blender. Or as I say it, a blendah? I`m gonna bahf.
  58. Profile photo of Lorah
    Lorah Female 18-29
    1784 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 10:27 am
    I wish there was a way I could skip all that, or by the time I have a baby they have more ways to lessen the pain then a huge needle in my back
  59. Profile photo of LillianDulci
    LillianDulci Female 18-29
    2674 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 10:30 am
    It doesn`t make me not wanna give birth, I still want 4 kids! I knew all except 1, and only 1 grossed me out.
  60. Profile photo of msdenee
    msdenee Female 18-29
    239 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 10:33 am
    Anyone want my placenta? I`ll be posting it on Ebay in September. Early bids?
  61. Profile photo of msdenee
    msdenee Female 18-29
    239 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 10:34 am
    Oystah, I was actually eating spaghetti when I read it, so now my lunch is in the garbage! :(
  62. Profile photo of meganfallen
    meganfallen Female 18-29
    195 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 10:34 am
    brings me back to Relationships and Parenting class in highschool...I learned all of this back then and it scarred me for life...and we had to watch an episiotomy video as well as a circumcision video...one kid fainted.
  63. Profile photo of shelerella
    shelerella Female 18-29
    160 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 10:42 am
    The bill is definitely the worst..
  64. Profile photo of Rick_S
    Rick_S Male 40-49
    3291 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 11:01 am
    I knew a lady who wanted to plant the placenta in her garden as fertilizer. I think I heard a rumor (don`t quote this a true!) that Tom Cruise ate his daughter`s placenta. Even if he didn`t, there are people who do that.
  65. Profile photo of McGovern1981
    McGovern1981 Male 30-39
    14268 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 11:09 am
    Tom Cruise recommends....

  66. Profile photo of davisboy
    davisboy Male 30-39
    587 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 11:32 am
    Oh, com`on it`s not that bad. I was there for the whole time when my wife gave birth. She didn`t have any drugs and the placenta wasn`t that gross at all. It just looked like a big red squishy water balloon.

    The funniest thing was after she gave birth at 2am I went into one of the waiting rooms and there as a girls gone wild commerical on the TV in corner. And the first thing that came to my mind was."Man those girls are going to have such a hard time having kids with such tiny hips."

  67. Profile photo of orchydork
    orchydork Female 18-29
    406 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 11:35 am
    I knew a lot of this stuff because I was eight when my brother was born, so I remember all the stuff my mom told me about having a baby...

    She didn`t hesitate to tell me all the gross details. She hopes it`ll act as a sort of birth control for me xD Not that his mere EXISTENCE isn`t enough O.o

  68. Profile photo of Sharlott66
    Sharlott66 Female 13-17
    24 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 11:38 am
    Im not having a baby XD YAY
    And you take a huge 8 pound dump :| ON the bed
    God im neve becoming a nurse >.>
  69. Profile photo of freecandy
    freecandy Male 13-17
    126 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 12:31 pm
    "if you thought watching poo-porn will prepare you.."

    lmao

  70. Profile photo of skyblue_15
    skyblue_15 Female 18-29
    193 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 12:31 pm
    This isn`t all that accurate. My mom had 2 children without any medication whatsoever and she had an episiotomy as one of us was being born. Btw, they also have pills to help with the feces. Again, didn`t happen to my mom.
  71. Profile photo of yellowsquare
    yellowsquare Female 18-29
    1545 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 12:35 pm
    lol davisboy, that actually made my day so much better!!

    These reasons (and more) are the main reasons why I could never be a ob-gyn. I can handle blood and guts with brains, hearts and lungs destroyed beyond recognizability...but I cannot handle childbirth and all the ickiness that goes along with that business.

    Definitely, definitely not. *shudder*

  72. Profile photo of peanut_x
    peanut_x Female 13-17
    408 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 12:40 pm
    I already knew all this, my mom had two home births, and my aunt had five.
  73. Profile photo of opj
    opj Female 13-17
    47 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 12:43 pm
    maybe i`ll adopt...
  74. Profile photo of Rizel
    Rizel Male 18-29
    213 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 12:44 pm
    As the experience is still fresh in my mind...Ill share. Get the episiotomy done! Ripping, I hear(and saw *shudder*), isn`t the best experience. Next, go with the drug roostertail. There`s a drug, cant remember the name of it, that speeds up the dilation at the cost of stronger contractions. If you have a epidural or three this isnt a problem though. And sky is right about the constipation pills...The short of it, if youve got the insurance or the money, childbirth is easy-peasy.(until the next day when the meds wear off ;)
  75. Profile photo of Rizel
    Rizel Male 18-29
    213 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 12:45 pm
    roostertail...
  76. Profile photo of lolphotoshop
    lolphotoshop Male 13-17
    392 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 1:05 pm
    I had no freaking Idea there was a bill
  77. Profile photo of Smudgie
    Smudgie Female 18-29
    52 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 1:07 pm
    Jordan: Pooping? I`m going to be POOPING in front of people?

    Dr Cox: Yeah. Funny how they never show that part on TV shows, isn`t it?


    Gotta love Scrubs!!

  78. Profile photo of bwahbwah
    bwahbwah Male 13-17
    982 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 1:17 pm
    "Either way, having a soft skull comes in handy when you`re trying to be born without killing your mother in the process. Unfortunately, their heads don`t instantly regain their shape once they pop out. It takes a day or two of looking like a butt plug before you can take your little-one hat shopping."

    I lol`d so hard.

  79. Profile photo of cypher4400
    cypher4400 Male 13-17
    16 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 1:17 pm
    lol nunber 1 was the bill but in England it`s free.
  80. Profile photo of spongamabob
    spongamabob Female 18-29
    2084 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 1:18 pm
    i knew most of this before.
  81. Profile photo of HaruHaru
    HaruHaru Female 13-17
    1065 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 1:48 pm
    I think I`m gonna be sick..
  82. Profile photo of alice_x
    alice_x Female 18-29
    5140 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 1:49 pm
    ive just realised, a guy posted this.. obviously they wouldnt tell guys this, they have trouble wanting babies anyways. and they dont need to know lol
  83. Profile photo of remus
    remus Male 30-39
    21 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 2:20 pm
    i knew most of this allready as i`ll be a dad in about 3 months, and thank god for the nhs
  84. Profile photo of knup48
    knup48 Female 18-29
    307 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 2:43 pm
    It`s REALLY not as bad as they make it seem...
  85. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15774 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 2:50 pm
    My mom was in labor for 36 hours.

    ...And then had a C-section. xD She won`t let me forget it, too.

  86. Profile photo of jaida1964
    jaida1964 Female 18-29
    238 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 2:56 pm
    *rocks back and forth muttering* Not gonna happen to me... Not gonna happen to me... Not gonna happen to me...
  87. Profile photo of OliverSudden
    OliverSudden Female 13-17
    16 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 3:13 pm
    Ah. Scary.
    My mom told me about when she gave birth to me. Horrible. I was 2 and a half weeks late. She had to have an emergency C-section. She was allergic to the epidural, but they didn`t figure that out until they gave her numerous shots of it. The doctors said that if they saved me, then my mom would die. Thank God she didn`t.
  88. Profile photo of Nidonemo
    Nidonemo Male 18-29
    9308 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 3:19 pm
    MY kids are going to have four legs and fur. :P
  89. Profile photo of sjanae76
    sjanae76 Female 30-39
    66 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 3:25 pm
    I`m on #5. Shut up! NONE of that stuff compares to the PAIN!! I can`t even describe it! Definitely getting an epidural as soon as I can this time! That last one was NOT FUN!
  90. Profile photo of moosekid
    moosekid Male 13-17
    348 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 3:33 pm
    I knew all of those...except number 1...I`m Canadian :P
  91. Profile photo of Stentorian
    Stentorian Male 13-17
    425 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 3:39 pm
    Kids are gay.
  92. Profile photo of Abacab2112
    Abacab2112 Male 18-29
    433 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 3:47 pm
    cypher4400
    Male, 13-17, Europe
    5 Posts Friday, August 01, 2008 1:17:58 PM
    lol nunber 1 was the bill but in England it`s free.
    ----------------------
    Free, huh?

    Well, we`re both in the 13-17 boat and don`t have to pay many taxes, but rest assured, it won`t seem free when you look at what`s taken out of your paycheck. Trust me, you`re paying for it whether you have a child or not.

  93. Profile photo of fleurdelys
    fleurdelys Female 18-29
    215 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 3:49 pm
    I`m pregnant with my second baby, and that post is full of crap. It`s just an excuse to give his girlfriend to not have kids. I never saw the placenta, got the episiotomy yes but it`s easier to stitch and quicker to heal than _tearing_, and I`m thankful enough to live in Quebec where public health services spared me the bill.

    If you let things like that keep you from having kids, then you really don`t want them. Don`t have them.

  94. Profile photo of itsdrew
    itsdrew Male 13-17
    1109 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 3:49 pm
    ewwwwwwwwwww.
  95. Profile photo of Mistinguett
    Mistinguett Female 18-29
    53 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 3:51 pm
    This has only reinforced my hatred of babies..
  96. Profile photo of malikymoo
    malikymoo Female 18-29
    2028 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 4:06 pm
    aliens heads hahahahaha what weirdo babies. i was never like that...im perfect...:D
  97. Profile photo of sponged
    sponged Male 18-29
    553 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 4:40 pm
    at first i thought the blobfish was the plecenta lol :-P
  98. Profile photo of ParasyT
    ParasyT Male 13-17
    533 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 5:26 pm
    "at first i thought the blobfish was the plecenta lol "

    So your telling me it wasn`t?

  99. Profile photo of aussieguy29
    aussieguy29 Male 18-29
    420 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 7:01 pm
    you have to pay $10,000 to give birth in the US? thats drating ridiculous. stupid americans and your crazy health system. thats just the thing new parents want, isnt it, a huge bill.
  100. Profile photo of brprince
    brprince Male 18-29
    33 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 7:29 pm
    What they failed to mention was that the medio-lateral cut in the base of the vagina is to maintain the perineal body from splitting naturally, preventing what is affectiionatly named a `vaganus` from forming.

    If said tear occurs naturally, then the anal sphinchter fails to ever really work properly again and permanent incontinence occurs.

    So ask yourrself if it is just a way for your doctor to earn some extra dosh?

  101. Profile photo of Night_Mystic
    Night_Mystic Female 18-29
    65 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 7:32 pm
    Oi, I knew all this poo in highschool, we had parenting class and a decent sex ed. They actually showed a video of a woman giving birth.

    My son was born almost 4 months ago, I ended up having a cesarian section after over 26 hours of labour.

    on the subject of epesiotomies: there is research that maybe they cause more harm than good. sure, the cut is cleaner than tearing, but the wound could rip even more, think of stretching rubber, then cut part of it and then stretch it again, what happens?

  102. Profile photo of Night_Mystic
    Night_Mystic Female 18-29
    65 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 7:38 pm
    p.s. i couldn`t feel the fetal scalp electrode. The fetal monitor is also used when it`s supseced that the monitor on the belly is not reading the heartrate accurately.

    and, AHAHAHAHAHAHH! WE DO NOT GET BILLED IN CANADA!!! SUCKERS!!!

  103. Profile photo of Abacab2112
    Abacab2112 Male 18-29
    433 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 7:51 pm
    aussieguy29
    Male, 18-29, Australia
    213 Posts Friday, August 01, 2008 7:01:56 PM
    you have to pay $10,000 to give birth in the US? thats drating ridiculous. stupid americans and your crazy health system. thats just the thing new parents want, isnt it, a huge bill.
    -----------------
    Stupid Americans? That`s a bit of a generalization, but I can definitely say that my fellow citizens have not done well at selecting representatives and executive leaders, but that still doesn`t justify your complete negligence of apostrophes.

    (By the way, the big problem over here is too much government intervention and too many malpractice lawsuits. If those two things were out of the way, things would be much cheaper and probably better, due to a less stagnant marketplace.)

  104. Profile photo of Cybelwin
    Cybelwin Female 13-17
    143 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 7:57 pm
    Ew. Those things are gross. I never saw my placenta. I kinda just pushed and out it popped. So you really don`t get to see it.

    Half those things you don`t even need to see. The bill I admit was pretty damn high. Thank gawd for insurance.

    Other than that it`s all true.

  105. Profile photo of chchchchia
    chchchchia Female 18-29
    14 posts
    August 1, 2008 at 11:19 pm
    ugh, that just reminds me of a travel show i was watching. apparently in some countries, the families save the placenta and eat it later.

    placenta stir fry, doesn`t that sound delicious.
    :-/

  106. Profile photo of aBISS
    aBISS Male 13-17
    506 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 12:32 am
    ^yum
  107. Profile photo of GothicQueen
    GothicQueen Male 13-17
    4376 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 12:48 am
    already knew all this stuff. still going to have a baby lol

    i lol`d at the Bill though

  108. Profile photo of Kisato
    Kisato Female 18-29
    695 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 12:48 am
    Ugh. This makes me very happy that I can`t have and don`t want any kids... Ughguguuhghu....
  109. Profile photo of GothicQueen
    GothicQueen Male 13-17
    4376 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 12:55 am
    and for everyone saying they want a c-section.. i`ve asked doctors. and unless you have reaaaaally good insurance or medical reasons or a very very very sympathetic generous doctor they aint gonna give you a c-section. they usually only do them if absolutely necessary. when i have a baby though i will fight for the right to have a c-section because i do not even want to know the pain of labor. screw everything else on this list
  110. Profile photo of XxZoexX
    XxZoexX Female 13-17
    42 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 3:33 am
    ahhhhhhhh, frick
  111. Profile photo of punkitonic
    punkitonic Female 18-29
    124 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 3:40 am
    ahh i knew bout all bout those.. except for the baby monitoring.. .but when i read about the slicing of the down there i was a little uneasy after looking at the diagram... thats a sh*tload of slicing... >_<

    meh the wonders of life ayes?

  112. Profile photo of jojoabobo
    jojoabobo Female 18-29
    278 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 4:42 am
    lol the head thing reminded me of stewie from family guy haha
    and i dont get it, the baby monitor stays on and goes through you and out the otherside when you give birth? ohh wait... i see they had the picture on an angle... i get it wait, that would be soooo annoying, how do you pee with things stuck up there?
  113. Profile photo of Majase
    Majase Male 40-49
    249 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 5:33 am
    "Picture a vagina blowing a meat-bubble. Now imagine someone surgically attaching that meat-bubble to a newborn via a pulsating sausage casing."

    Poetry, man! True, raw, visceral, beautiful poetry at its finest.

    I see a nomination for the T.S. Eliot prize here somewhere.

  114. Profile photo of Narikotsu
    Narikotsu Female 13-17
    164 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 7:16 am
    Yes, that settles it.
    I am adopting.
  115. Profile photo of NYAAN
    NYAAN Female 13-17
    316 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 8:10 am
    way to scare the fertility out of me, cracked!

    holy crap! i`m uneasy just having reproductive organs now. i mean, i knew i`d make a bad parent but this settles it.

  116. Profile photo of mongoos3
    mongoos3 Female 18-29
    36 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 8:45 am
    ah the memories...
    and they forgot to mention breaking wind in the midwifes face OH YEH!!!

    PS you loose all sense of dignity after

  117. Profile photo of Drakey616
    Drakey616 Female 18-29
    88 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 8:47 am
    peeps eat the placent because its jam packed full of hormones and stuff, alot of animals do it from what i know...not sure if i would do it...

    but poo to all of you girls who chickened out :P

    I still plan on having my baby ^^

  118. Profile photo of nickybro
    nickybro Male 30-39
    3 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 9:45 am
    $10,000???
  119. Profile photo of buttersrules
    buttersrules Male 40-49
    407 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 10:45 am
    When my daughter was born there was more blood than on the entire first series of Dexter. It looked like a chainsaw massacre had just happened. And the doctor gave me a funny look when I asked him to put in a couple of extra stitches, just to tighten her back up. Weant down like a lead baloon.
  120. Profile photo of sjanae76
    sjanae76 Female 30-39
    66 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 12:48 pm
    Gothic Queen: I had a C-section w/ my first and I wouldn`t wish that on anyone! Go natural and get on the epidural as soon as you can and you won`t feel a thing! The healing after the C-section while completely sleep deprived and trying to care for a newborn is pure torture! Add on the potential PPD and it`s all over! I had 3 VBACs because I REFUSE to be cut open like that ever again!

  121. Profile photo of 1eleanor2005
    1eleanor2005 Female 13-17
    324 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 4:52 pm
    yay NHS ftw!! :D
  122. Profile photo of maddieeee
    maddieeee Female 13-17
    8 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 7:37 pm
    lol my dog is having puppies this week..

    anyone want to buy a boxerdoodle?

    http://www.breederinfocenter.com/index.p...

  123. Profile photo of Bekll
    Bekll Female 18-29
    1984 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 8:33 pm
    "The downside is that you will forever wonder if your baby had a previously unnoticed twin who could have went on to make you a fortune as the star of untold numbers of b-rated horror films."

    "Have went"? That`s just sad...

    I still want three kids.

  124. Profile photo of Bekll
    Bekll Female 18-29
    1984 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 8:37 pm
    "Which means, you now have a little brat and you never get to enjoy sex again."

    Wow... with that nasty attitude you don`t deserve kids. Did your parents not love you or something?

  125. Profile photo of Bekll
    Bekll Female 18-29
    1984 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 8:42 pm
    "This has only reinforced my hatred of babies.."

    I don`t think you were loved either.

  126. Profile photo of Bekll
    Bekll Female 18-29
    1984 posts
    August 2, 2008 at 8:45 pm
    Cybelwin, did you actually have a kid in your teens?
  127. Profile photo of maiye
    maiye Female 13-17
    251 posts
    August 3, 2008 at 9:24 am
    I`m SO glad i had a c-section birth...
  128. Profile photo of exeter_blue
    exeter_blue Female 18-29
    71 posts
    August 3, 2008 at 1:42 pm
    i already knew about all of these

    anyway the bill scared me the most

    x|

Leave a Reply