Top 10 WTF? US Sex Laws

Submitted by: littlemissqt 8 years ago Weird
http://media.www.ecollegetimes.com/media/storage/paper991/news/2008/07/03/Top10s/Top-Ten.Wtf.Us.Sex.Laws-3388114.shtml

Holy crap, if any of these laws are valid, then WTF is wrong with America?
There are 112 comments:
Female 30
wait... how the f**k do have sex w/ a poricuepine, don`t they have quills
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Female 30
suck, i gotta go to DC next week w/ my boyfriend
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Male 486
damn me and my porcupine wife were going to consimate our love tonight
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Male 68
Engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal in Washington, DC.

Good luck enforcing that.

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Male 7
Way to make Wisconsin proud Connorsville. Oh, and I can think of at least 1 reason a man would have to shoot his gun during sex. He saw some sick drat violating a porcupine that weighed over 40 pounds.
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Female 1,407
Poor Arizona. ^_^;
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Female 1,231
That was a definite WTF.

And if these laws are real, they aren`t enforced. Though one guy won a Darwin Award once for screwing a porcupine and removing his ability to reproduce.

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Female 1,697
I don`t think this is real
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Female 32
#5 is also applied under military law. It isn`t enforced unless the person is facing other charges of moral turpitude, then if the MP`s can prove it, they add #5 to the list.
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Female 173
This makes you wonder what gave rise to some of these laws, I mean:

"6. In Connorsville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner is having an orgasm."

Was this such a common occurrence before that someone had to make a law to prevent further casualities or something xP?

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Male 474
A lot of southern states have stupid laws regarding sexuality. They may have been created a while back, but they aren`t removed because it now serves as their badge of pride. They are in essance anti-gay laws at this point. Georgia outlawed unmarried, oral, and anal sex. Alabama has the same laws as georgia, but they also have outlawed the sale and possession of sex toys... there was a story about a year ago about a lady getting fined for holding a pure romance party.
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Female 1,070
@catlikegrace

Washington D.C., not Washington State

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Female 128
hahaha
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Female 1
How the Holy Hell is ok (in WA at least) to boink an animal that weighs approx. that of a 5-year-old human.
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Female 375
Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington D.C.
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Female 375
lol. oral sex illegal in 18 states?? -googles which states-
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Female 1,120
Why would you have sex with a PORCUPINE!...
And how would anyone know what your doing anyway?
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Male 7
i bet a few presidents have broken number 5
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Male 382
Land of the free indeed. A revision of some laws would be in order, don`t you think?
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Male 7
wow i could get in alot of trouble i always shoot off a gun when shes having an orgasm its celebration wtf
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Male 1,149
[quote] no way those are real. you cant get married to your first cousin before the age of 65?? wtf? [/quote] That way you don`t procreate.
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Male 11,740
So you have to take your porcupine from Florida to Washington. There should be some sort of government assistance to pay for that trip.
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Male 2,781
LOLZ THIS IS SOME FUNNY SH`T!
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Female 156
wtf? these laws are really stupid.
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Male 2,395
Oooh, sex with animals? Thats kinky.
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Female 122
Half of my state should be arrested then for having sex before they are married LOL!
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Male 109
gummywurmz- haha i was just think that, its not like ur gonna turn yourself in
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Male 138
In Mississippi, it`s illegal to own a dildo.
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Male 109
haha wow
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Female 850
Akurei-Inu
Female, 13-17, Eastern US
50 Posts Sunday, July 06, 2008 8:12:02 AM
I read that in Allentown pennsylvania, it`s illegal for men to become aroused in public.
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Sadly, thats true. i live right near harrisurg and Allentown. Some guy got busted a couple weeks ago. It was fuuny. He was gay and the officers where all: Stop talking. Stop it i say!
He was all: Ohhh...Officer, your arms are sooo STRONG!
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Female 1,412
Who would know if someone was doing some of these?
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Female 850
I like 7.
Sadly i live near there.
:-(
Damn pennsylavnia.
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Female 1,186
at 1, wait going oral is ILLEGAL?!
at 10, xD
who comes up with these?
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Male 1,425
WOWWWWWW Those laws are retarded.
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Female 2,695
"8. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida."
the sad thing is that there had to have been someone do this for this law to be made.
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Male 247
Awesome!! Now I have a new `Ten Things To Do Before I Die" list. I-am-bored, you complete my world.
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Male 599
yup I do know that it`s illegal to have oral sex here in SC. I make sure that law is broken alllll the time!
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Male 2,796
Hmmm... guilty... did that... oh man I remember that one... nope haven`t done that.... the upstairs neighbors were not pleased to have a bullet fly through the floor... Truck drivers are pretty good in bed, but nowhere else... I like adding my prick to the many pricks of a porcupine and animals below 40 pounds??? How is that fun at all??!!
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Female 295
worst ones were 6 and 8.... why would anyone even WANT to have sex with a porcupine?! ouch
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Female 99
"Sex is illegal with a porcupine in Floria"
Yes, it`s illegal with all other animals, too, isn`t it?
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Female 854
DAMN IT! The last one had to be in the state where I live.........I`m moving.
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Male 436
Oh sweet Jesus. In Australia the only law about sex is don`t do it with kiddies and you`re fine. If you do it with an animal I don`t think it`s a crime, here. Our laws were formed a couple of hundred years after the US, we`re clearly more open minded *vomits*
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Male 1,078
how would anyone know if u were breaking these laws?
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Male 169
Lol. Women in washington are lazy XD
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Female 91
I read that in Allentown pennsylvania, it`s illegal for men to become aroused in public.
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Male 483
"Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida."

lmfao is there alot of this happening? reminded me of the welsh

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Male 42
sex...with...animals? o__O
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Female 1,470
The last one was just discusting...
Poor bunny or any other wild animal
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Male 1,766
also oral is illegal in l.a
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Female 195
Kinda makes you wonder what people were doing in order to have some of these laws passed.
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Male 4,793
oh...and of course, theres absolutely nothing interesting about iowa.
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Male 451
lolz at 6.
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Male 4,793
in reply to the guy not understanding the `no shooting off a gun blah blah...` law, i`d assume it would have something to do (this is all thought up with no google/wiki research backing it) with the idea of the orgasm being more intense while scared from teh gunshot...and im guessing it killed somebody so they made it illegal.
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Male 139
Come on people the only one that makes since is the husband cant fire a gun while she cums.That law is legit in every state, a lot of guys are in jail over it.Honey I`m home.
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Male 1,623
^ No, they are real.

The whole world has been making fun of those laws for years, you`re just starting to find out.

Btw, these laws were approved because of the deep religious infiltration in the US government at that time, even though religion still infiltrates the US government to this day.

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Male 230
Yeah, I`m calling shenanigans.
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Male 285
did you also know that it`s illegal in arizona to have more than 2 dildos in one house? )-|
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Female 1,398
These are fake/not enforced/ nobody cares about them.
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Male 2,616
The law about porcupines only makes me want them more.
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Male 954
^hopefully
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Male 425
Outdated and forgotten laws; surely these are not enforced.
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Female 4,197
Wait, I just had a thought. Does mean if you have a mass orgy anywhere in America your going on a crime spree now?
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Male 7,933
"Once I heard that in Oklahoma, it`s illegal for a bartender to allow someone in the bar to pretend to have sex with a buffalo."

I was scrolling when I read that so I saw
Once I sex with a buffalo in Oklahoma.

"In Boston, it is actually illegal for a woman to be on top during sex."

that sucks... then how do they do it?

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Male 838
Ok... so the husband can`t talk dirty... Does that not exclude the wife? She can talk as trashy as she wants to? I suppose I`d be ok with that one... And shooting the gun off during the woman`s orgasm... I understand the concept of fireworks metaphorically going off and whatnot... but... why... oh why... was this ever really a situation where a group of people got together and said "Hey, we really need a law about this one"...
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Male 674
Save for the first and last one, those are bogus...

i mean no oral sex?... and just how do you enforce that? perv on some couple, and if they go to oral, arrest them naked?

and it becomes an awkward situation...

"So man, what are you in for?" "I stole $30,000 and shot 2 people, you?"
"Oh, I had oral sex with my girlfriend, I didn`t know that was illegal, plus she is legal age..."
"Oh really? Thats illegal? well pretty boy, I think you and me are going to commit another crime"
"... Um, that sounds faaabulous, but honey, I have aids, and an open sore on my tounge"

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Male 4
Most of these laws are probably outdated. What`s more even if they were still on the books, they would be impossible to enforce, not just because of the difficulty, but because of the us constitution and recent supreme court decisions. The most prominent of which is `Lawrence v. Texas` that established, through the implied/inferred constitutional right of privacy, as established in the famous `Griswold v. Connecticut` that consenting adults have the right to act out sexually in the privacy of their homes, and any extension of that, in any way they please. This is of course within the purview of public safety and "consenting adults". There are broader implications of the decision which are still being debated today. Hilarious though, ain`t it?
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Female 525
I live in Arizona. Apparently we can`t do oral?..
Wow. I FEEL LIKE A FELON NOW :O
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Female 29
word # 1? lol what`s the other 17?
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Male 842
4. Sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is illegal in Georgia.

This makes total sense. I mean, how else are they supposed to control inbreeding?

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Male 473
the majority of these are soooo fake. but one or two of them are real
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Male 458
Yes the one about Washington is real, which is my state. There was a big debate about the internet video 2guys1horse in whether it was illegal or not. The reason it was such a big debate is because it happenedin Washingtonn (I wanna say by Seattle somewhere), where it`s pretty much legal.
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Female 697
Seriously what the fu**.
Some of them brought a laugh, others I felt like smacking someone...these just make Americans look like the entire population has mental dissabilities because they`d actually need laws to tell them what to do or not!

but...
These sound similar to those old blue laws that were absolutely rediculous and are no longer in use any more. I seriouly hope these are blue laws (or whatever they`re called)

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Male 954
jen u live in boston? i live on the southshore wow that is crazy
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Female 306
"you could probably see where they came from...all except the shoot gun during orgasm one...I can`t even come close to make up the situation that made that law necessary."

Maybe so she can`t cheat on him while he`s out shooting?...

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Female 229
In Boston, it is actually illegal for a woman to be on top during sex.
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Male 1
people they are called blue laws
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Female 150
well, there may be some cases where things like this happend and the government made a law... although they aren`t enforced.

"Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida"
guilty ;-P

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Female 1,063
WTF Indeed
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Female 541
oh snap i live in georgia! (yea i know it says midwest but tough i moved)
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Male 954
Male 7,933
1. Probably created by women
2. Couldnt agree more
3. Does that include talking nerdy?
4. That must be hard to control in ATL
5. I went to DC, I was laughing the entire time I saw the Monument
6. Perfectly reasonable
7. Only in Harrisburg right?
8. .... How... Why... okay....
9. SEE ABOVE
10. Okay this is one where they should spend some paper removing.
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Female 738
quoi?!
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Male 1,204
all right, one of those laws, about not being allowed to shoot while the wife is having an orgasm, prob has to do with the fact that he`s not allowed to shoot, even if he`s not the one giving the orgasm :P meaning no revenge till after sex. hahaha

but yeah they`re quite strange lol

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Male 1,193
hmm i think my cat is less than 40.
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Male 1,825
And you start thinking about how fun it was to play games
like battleship when you were a kid
and how, as we get older we forget how to play and just to enjoy ourselves
so you say "Guess What? I`m gonna make up a game right now
and it involves a baseball bat and a porcupine
and I`m gonna try to kill a porcupine with a baseball bat
but then you don`t know where to find a porcupine so
you do a search on e-bay but people don`t sell porcupines on the internet
and you say "Guess what world? you`ve got me cornered again
I`m gonna roll another joint"
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Female 486
WTF, Washington State? Makes me want to move.
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Female 731
My porcupine lover and I will NOT be judged here in CA!
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Female 505
Once I heard that in Oklahoma, it`s illegal for a bartender to allow someone in the bar to pretend to have sex with a buffalo.

But`s that not true. (I hope)

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Male 772
Damn porcupines, so tempting...
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Male 1,825
its so wrong but it feels so right
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Male 34
oh, and the last one i think is true... if anyone remembers the video of the guy who died from a ruptured colon after being ass-f`d by a horse... that was legal where it was, which i believe was washington
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Male 34
actually the oral sex one is real... i remember the one big story last year of one guy who was in jail for consensual sex when he was 17 with a 14 yr old... but it was only because it was oral sex and not intercourse.

yes our country is messed up

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Male 475
wtf for 8 and 10
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Female 444
That Virginia one I`ll verify as true. I used to live in DC and had a boyfriend who lived in Virginia. Every time I visited his house, we`d joke about leaving the lights on during sex so we could give the police a show.

Hmmm, illegal to have sex with a porcupine in Florida? So, it`s legal anywhere else, right? Hope so, those needles are sexy as hell, definite S&M action there.

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Male 3,296
wtf am sure they all exclude california,,,,


hooray

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Male 108
these laws are all from way back when woman weren`t aloud to moan during an orgasm (okay i made that up.)

and the governments don`t want to waste the time/money/paper to change them to something more, exceptable, the easiest thing for them to do is just pretend they don`t exist. These obviously aren`t enforced..

Oh except for the porcupine one, MotherF*cker will have his balls chopped off if you try that in florida.

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Female 1,212
Good god. I knew our country was drated up.
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Male 4
About half of those seem incredibly restrictive, the other half seem incredibly creepy. So apparently in Utah, marrying your first cousin is only ok once you are old enough to never actually have sex. No porcupine sex in Florida? Do the police in Washington carry around scales in their cruisers so if they see a man having sex with an animal they can weigh the animal to see whether or not it`s legal?
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Female 1,380
god damn government trying to ruin our fun
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Male 38
lawl sex
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Male 506
If anyone actualy believed these were true, I`ve lost my faith in humanity.
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Female 4,197
In Connorsville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner is having an orgasm.

LOL! Only the women can shoot guns when the men orgasm, common knowledge! What? You didn`t know?

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Female 512
no way those are real. you cant get married to your first cousin before the age of 65?? wtf?
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Female 694
These sound more like old blue laws...
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Male 418
ok..while all of these laws are retarded...you could probably see where they came from...all except the shoot gun during orgasm one...I can`t even come close to make up the situation that made that law necessary.
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Male 1,725
they have to be fake. must has sex with lights off in virginia? yeah right -_-
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Male 109
these laws are from long, long ago, and the government isn`t going to waste their time getting rid of them.
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Female 4,028
How do they even enforce these? As for the beastiality ones and such... what?!
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Male 349
In defense of Florida, the porcupines there are really hot.
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Male 396
yummy
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Male 509
I don`t think any of these laws are enforced, are they?
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Female 1,330
Link: Top 10 WTF? US Sex Laws [Rate Link] - Holy crap, if any of these laws are valid, then WTF is wrong with America?
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