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Rating: 4.4
Category: Funny
Date: 07/24/08 03:32 PM

73 Responses to The South Park Theory of Evolution

  1. Profile photo of DaPalooka
    DaPalooka Female 13-17
    360 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 2:06 pm
    Link: The South Park Theory of Evolution - We`re all the retarded offspring of monkey-fish who had buttsex with squirrels?
  2. Profile photo of summerfly
    summerfly Female 18-29
    157 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:35 pm
    Hahaha I love this
  3. Profile photo of TBirdVBall
    TBirdVBall Female 18-29
    519 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:36 pm
    Ms. Garrison always has something to say...
  4. Profile photo of JohnnyTheCow
    JohnnyTheCow Male 13-17
    89 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:36 pm
    So we`re all retards... that like buttsex. Yay us!
  5. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15774 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:37 pm
    Aaaand cue the evolution debate!

    BANG!

  6. Profile photo of MrSchreiber
    MrSchreiber Male 18-29
    167 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:38 pm
    Or we could NOT have an evolution debate.
    That would be a nice way to go.
  7. Profile photo of malikymoo
    malikymoo Female 18-29
    2028 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:38 pm
    lmao
  8. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15774 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:40 pm
    But then we get to find out who the religious nuts are and who the evolutionists that pick fights are.

    :D

  9. Profile photo of Neagle
    Neagle Male 30-39
    1405 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:40 pm
    "Butt sex with a retarded fish squirrels...." Classic. What is wrong with saying we just don`t know?
  10. Profile photo of MrSchreiber
    MrSchreiber Male 18-29
    167 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:41 pm
    People are too needy to just say we don`t know.
  11. Profile photo of eeeriddler08
    eeeriddler08 Female 13-17
    375 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:45 pm
    lol. that was funny =]
  12. Profile photo of luckyse7en
    luckyse7en Male 13-17
    2397 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:45 pm
    Retarded Buttsex FTW!! >_>
  13. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12140 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:49 pm
    ^^ "Or we could NOT have an evolution debate.
    That would be a nice way to go."

    We could. But that would be so unfair- creationism vs evolution debates on IAB pay fancylad`s rent.

  14. Profile photo of snoopdawgg
    snoopdawgg Male 18-29
    481 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:49 pm
    o god
  15. Profile photo of alice_x
    alice_x Female 18-29
    5140 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:54 pm
    haha this made me chuckle lots :D
  16. Profile photo of Starshine24
    Starshine24 Female 13-17
    706 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:58 pm
    *Laughs her butt off*

    But some religious types can still believe in evolution. So you can`t pick out all of them by way of debate.

  17. Profile photo of seetheidiot
    seetheidiot Female 13-17
    81 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 3:59 pm
    lmfaoo `buttsex`, `retard babies`. this just made my day.
  18. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12140 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 4:03 pm
    The Family Guy take on the subject is funny too (in case there`s anyone left on the interwebs who hasn`t seen it yet)

    http://religiousfreaks.com/2006/07/09/evolution-vs-creationism-family-guy-style/

  19. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15774 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 4:05 pm
    Bahaha, I love Youtube comments:

    "Two different theories exist on the origin of children: Sexual reproduction, and the stork. Many believe in the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory at school. However, many philosophers favor the theory of the stork. Therefore, if the theory of sexual reproduction is to be taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork must also be taught."

  20. Profile photo of starrstreet
    starrstreet Female 18-29
    401 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 4:09 pm
    South Park FTW
  21. Profile photo of NexusLetum
    NexusLetum Female 18-29
    136 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 4:17 pm
    I don`t usually watch South Park, but did Cartman`s voice actor change after a certain season? He sounds different.
  22. Profile photo of Trigod
    Trigod Male 18-29
    281 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 4:18 pm
    Two different theories exist on global warming: the accession of greenhouse gases, and God hugging the Earth really tight because he loves us so much. The accession of greenhouse gases is only a theory, over which there is much controversy; thus, we should be open to other theories, like the theory of God hugging the earth extra tight. Because this issue is so controversial, we should teach the controversy in our science classrooms, and make God hugging the earth extra tight a part of the wider scientific curriculum.
  23. Profile photo of kaechan
    kaechan Female 18-29
    122 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 4:20 pm
    "I`m not a monkey! I`M A WOMAN!" LMAO! and no Cartman`s voice never changed its the same actor...maybe Cartman is getting older I have no idea lol!
  24. Profile photo of NexusLetum
    NexusLetum Female 18-29
    136 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 4:23 pm
    Maybe it`s because I`m getting older and can`t hear the high pitched portion of his voice as much anymore. XD
  25. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12140 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 4:26 pm
    ^^ As a professional earth scientists, I can concur with Trigod`s statement. While the scientific mainstream does indeed tend to side with green gas accession, there is a small but vocal number of "huggists" who are working hard (even at the risk of ridicule by their scientific peer group) to advance the alternative theory.

    Teach the controversy!

  26. Profile photo of RandomEgg
    RandomEgg Male 13-17
    307 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 4:41 pm
    the only problem with the "huggist" theory for the causation of global warming is that God HATES us...Alot
  27. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12140 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 4:43 pm
    ^^ Listen to Fred Phelps here
  28. Profile photo of caboose117
    caboose117 Male 13-17
    1204 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 4:56 pm
    yay buttshecks
  29. Profile photo of lizzybee16
    lizzybee16 Female 18-29
    341 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 5:00 pm
    haha she/he said butt sex...
  30. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7935 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 5:03 pm
    Greenhouse gasses? I thought the whole, Mars is getting just as hot as Earth which shows that its the sun thats getting hotter. See why I hate mainstream science. They can lick my retarded nuts who had butt-sex with a fish squirrel
  31. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7935 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 5:06 pm
    "Two different theories exist on the origin of children: Sexual reproduction, and the stork. Many believe in the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory at school. However, many philosophers favor the theory of the stork. Therefore, if the theory of sexual reproduction is to be taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork must also be taught."

    Yeah, but at one point we believed that the woman was just a nesting hole for the sperm. This is a perfect example of no matter what you believe, your still wrong

  32. Profile photo of Nidonemo
    Nidonemo Male 18-29
    9308 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 5:24 pm
    I have to agree, God lighting a fart is probably the most amusing out of all theories of how the universe came to be. XD
  33. Profile photo of catbarf
    catbarf Male 18-29
    1455 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 5:37 pm
    "Greenhouse gasses? I thought the whole, Mars is getting just as hot as Earth which shows that its the sun thats getting hotter. See why I hate mainstream science."

    Mainstream science is fine, your inability to perform accurate research is at fault. Mars is not heating up. The sun will not become hotter until it reaches the critical point and becomes a red giant, and since it`s several billion years old any change would be so minute wouldn`t matter in the slightest.

    Mainstream science for the win.

  34. Profile photo of catbarf
    catbarf Male 18-29
    1455 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 5:39 pm
    "Yeah, but at one point we believed that the woman was just a nesting hole for the sperm. This is a perfect example of no matter what you believe, your still wrong"

    Yes, that is what we believed when church controlled state, and scientific research into such topics was forbidden. No surprise there.

  35. Profile photo of ninjacache
    ninjacache Male 18-29
    221 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 5:41 pm
    That`s one of my favorite south park clips.
  36. Profile photo of deathxtra
    deathxtra Male 13-17
    2791 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 5:42 pm
    Lolwut?
  37. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7935 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 6:04 pm
    Mars is getting Hotter

    And red stars are colder than yellow and blue stars.

  38. Profile photo of 643197
    643197 Male 18-29
    1078 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 6:13 pm
    lol.
  39. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12140 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 6:22 pm
    Prime, Mars has been getting hotter since records began, which was -oh, about 3 years ago.

    And just because one bloke called Habibullo Abdussamatov says that it`s not due to Milancoviç cyclicity, doesn`t necessarily make it so. 99% of climatologists agree that evidence from carbon isotopes, as well as absolute abundance of CO2 in earth`s atmosphere since the industrial revolution, strongly point to an anthropogeni...

    Oh, f*ck it. You believe that comic book guy who says the earth is shrinking. Leave the science to the scientists, Prime.

  40. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12140 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 6:24 pm
    "And red stars are colder than yellow and blue stars."

    Not when they`re two inches from your face, buddy.

  41. Profile photo of catbarf
    catbarf Male 18-29
    1455 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 6:32 pm
    Prime, you didn`t even read the article. Note:

    "And they contradict the extensive evidence presented in the most recent IPCC report."

    The guy`s ignoring greenhouse gases entirely. The Sun is not heating up. He`s getting support from the groups against the notion of global warming, in spite of a complete lack of scientific basis for his ludicrous claims.

    "And red stars are colder than yellow and blue stars."

    Not when they swell large enough to engulf Mercury.

  42. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7935 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 6:37 pm
    Davy, Jews seem to disagree with Climatologist
  43. Profile photo of sbhamster3
    sbhamster3 Female 70 & Over
    84 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 6:40 pm
    i heard humans are the offspring of primates and aliens....
  44. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12140 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 7:28 pm
    ^^ Prime, with all due respect, I don`t give a flying f*ck what jews think on matters of science. How does a partiular religious group have any authority in scientific matters? Apples and pears mate.

    You might as well point out how Islamists deny gravity, or buddhists deny that death happens, or Christians deny the earth rotates around the sun. It is meaningless. I could just as well point out "Well, engineers say the Golden Gate Bridge is a suspension span, but people from Armenia disagree with this view." Abso-f*cking-lutely irrelevant.

    I say again: leave the science to the scientists.

  45. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7935 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 7:49 pm
    ^^^
    But I like jews... they always win valedictorian. At it was Scientist in a Jewish university, its like stereotype x2. If only they were also accountants.

    Earth going around the sun is true from one perspective, not necessarily another. Just as long as in one perspective im at the center of the universe, then its ok.

  46. Profile photo of davymid
    davymid Male 30-39
    12140 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 8:05 pm
    F*ck you Prime. I want to hate you so bad, yet I can`t. I`m still in hot-tub mode.
  47. Profile photo of Cainbrain
    Cainbrain Male 18-29
    34 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 8:49 pm
    Man, for a "scientist" you sure don`t sound very mature.
  48. Profile photo of Bekll
    Bekll Female 18-29
    1984 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 9:25 pm
    "I don`t usually watch South Park, but did Cartman`s voice actor change after a certain season? He sounds different."

    No, Cartman is just anxious. That strains the voice a bit in his case.

  49. Profile photo of Overmann
    Overmann Male 18-29
    2600 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 10:33 pm
    "This is a perfect example of no matter what you believe, your still wrong"

    Science has never been about finding absolute truth. Absolute truth, as we tend to think of it, doesn`t exist. What`s left is continually updating our best explanation, and at this point that explanation is evolution. Nothing proves these explanations - they just fit the evidence, and to that end serve the purpose of satiating our curiosity, at least until we discover something better. If there is a better explanation out there, the scientific method would be the vehicle with which we`d discover it.

  50. Profile photo of catbarf
    catbarf Male 18-29
    1455 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 10:48 pm
    "Earth going around the sun is true from one perspective, not necessarily another."

    Not at all. There is no perspective with evidence to support such a claim.

    "Just as long as in one perspective im at the center of the universe, then its ok."

    Sarcastic or not, what a prick.

  51. Profile photo of Old-N-Board
    Old-N-Board Male 50-59
    1 post
    July 24, 2008 at 10:49 pm
    I thought everyone knew what is behind global warming. Ironically it does have something to do with butt sex. Just think about how much everyone is not abiding by the rules God set down. Catholics, Protestants, Jews, Muslim, etc it doesn`t matter fewer and fewer are following the "rules" divorce, adultry,abortions,killing molesting children etc. SO what is causeing global warming. The END IS NEAR the EARTH is MOVING CLOSER TO HELL!. I beleive it is supposed to be hot there. To me this is the most plausible explaination.
  52. Profile photo of catbarf
    catbarf Male 18-29
    1455 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 10:50 pm
    "Man, for a "scientist" you sure don`t sound very mature."

    It`s hard to avoid getting annoyed when your opponent is remarking upon ethnic stereotypes, engaging in petty self-fellation, citing wildly false claims as evidence, and casually dismissing the bulk of davy`s entire profession due to not understanding the concepts involved. It`s straining.

  53. Profile photo of Gerbear
    Gerbear Female 18-29
    1186 posts
    July 24, 2008 at 10:59 pm
    i LUVED this episode!
    yup no scientific points from me =)
  54. Profile photo of rcjdude
    rcjdude Male 13-17
    46 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 12:54 am
    What episode is this from?
  55. Profile photo of pizzabob18
    pizzabob18 Male 18-29
    366 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 6:36 am
    mrs. garrison - I`m not a monkey I`m a woman!
    Mr. Mackey - ........mmmmkayyy......

    rcjdude, it`s from the episode "go god go" and it`s a two parter

  56. Profile photo of gcxj220
    gcxj220 Male 18-29
    616 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 7:27 am
    Same voices but they changed slightly when they got to "4th grade".
  57. Profile photo of ska_love
    ska_love Female 13-17
    20 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 7:35 am
    haha, what i find amusing is how a video on evolution caused a debate on global warming
  58. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11741 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 8:57 am
    One of the best South Parks skits ever.
  59. Profile photo of Turnshroud
    Turnshroud Female 18-29
    4225 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 9:03 am
    ska, it`s very simple really.

    After several mutations, branchings, and scoial and behaviorial evolution, our perspective changed.

    The forum has evolved, we are talking about global warming.

    BLAH!

    But Mrs. Garrison is sort of right.

    Mutation, mutation, mutation, mutation, muytation....mutation...mutation, mutation...five million mutations...

    mutations.

    Ok, not 5 million m7tations maybe, but still.

    And it didn`t really originate woth Darwin. Darwin just developed the idea of Naturel Selection.

  60. Profile photo of waath1
    waath1 Male 18-29
    436 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 9:06 am
    I am the flying spaghetti monster.
  61. Profile photo of REBELComx
    REBELComx Male 18-29
    477 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 9:39 am
    "Archeology is about the search for Facts, not truth. If you want the truth, philosophy is down the hall."
    Your view and opinion of the facts does not change the facts. Fact - the earth revolves around the sun. Your view of the sun from the planet may be that it appears to circle us, but it is not a fact. It is your distorted perception based on incomplete observation.
    And while I COULD go into the whole philosophy of the universe revolving around us because we each see the world differently and in a sense create our own reality and are thus each our own God...I`m very certain that was not what Prime was talking about and I`m just gonna side with catbarf: what a prick.
  62. Profile photo of itsallfake
    itsallfake Male 30-39
    474 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 9:52 am
    i really want to join the debate, but im tired of posting the evidence that evolution has been proven and creationists *ahem* excuse me, fundementalists ignore when it is thrust in their faces. GRRRrrr i said i DIDNT want to join this argument!!! WHY MUST I LOWER MYSELF TO THIS?

    Anyway, that clip, like all southpark episodes, was stupid...

  63. Profile photo of mylostdog
    mylostdog Female 18-29
    471 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 11:19 am
    Alright kids, it is now my job to teach you the theory of evolution. Now I, for one, think evolution is a bunch of BULLCRAP. But I’ve been told I have to teach it anyway. It was thought up by Charles Darwin and it goes something like this: In the beginning we were all fish. Okay? Swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So Retard Fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day, a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands… and it had buttsex with a squirrel or something and made this, retard frog squirrel, and then that had a retard baby which was a… monkey fish-frog… And then this monkey fish-frog had buttsex with that monkey, and… that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey and… that made you! So there you go! You’re the retarded offspring of five monkeys having buttsex with a fish-squirrel!
  64. Profile photo of shiggin
    shiggin Female 13-17
    1470 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 12:01 pm
    LMFAO
    thats my favorite clip of the day
  65. Profile photo of gorgack2000
    gorgack2000 Male 13-17
    4682 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 1:06 pm
    Butt-sex with retarded monkey-squirrels... yup, seems reasonable.
  66. Profile photo of orchydork
    orchydork Female 18-29
    406 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 3:01 pm
    This is one of the lowest forms of humor, which is why I find it hysterical xD
  67. Profile photo of britt566
    britt566 Female 18-29
    2290 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 6:33 pm
    I love south park. Funny as hell. Ms./mr. Garrison is lovely.
  68. Profile photo of britt566
    britt566 Female 18-29
    2290 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 7:01 pm
    mylostdog,

    I was going to post the words... Now I`m pissed. leave this site and go find your dog or something.

  69. Profile photo of Manar
    Manar Male 30-39
    196 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 7:28 pm
    That proves it! The theory is clearly wrong! As you all surely know, you will not get any offspring having buttsex! No offspring, no retarded monkey/fish/squirrels. Now we can all go back knowing the truth! That we all came from a carved piece of wood made by Odin! ,-)
  70. Profile photo of toans
    toans Male 13-17
    413 posts
    July 25, 2008 at 8:18 pm
    lol, butsex with a squirrel
  71. Profile photo of Jam-cob
    Jam-cob Male 13-17
    57 posts
    July 26, 2008 at 2:43 pm
    Who really gives one, we`er never gonna find out. We may as well hang the sense of it and get on with our pitifully small lives =)
  72. Profile photo of Scythe246
    Scythe246 Male 13-17
    191 posts
    November 1, 2008 at 11:08 pm
    WHAORAOOARGH, teh evolution is really f*cked up.
  73. Profile photo of trashcan7
    trashcan7 Male 13-17
    564 posts
    June 4, 2009 at 9:26 pm
    Hahaha, this made my day

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