The South Park Theory of Evolution

Submitted by: DaPalooka 9 years ago in Funny
/media/5734_SouthParkTheoryofEvolution.flv
We"re all the retarded offspring of monkey-fish who had buttsex with squirrels?
There are 73 comments:
Male 564
Hahaha, this made my day
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Male 191
WHAORAOOARGH, teh evolution is really f*cked up.
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Male 57
Who really gives one, we`er never gonna find out. We may as well hang the sense of it and get on with our pitifully small lives =)
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Male 413
lol, butsex with a squirrel
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Male 196
That proves it! The theory is clearly wrong! As you all surely know, you will not get any offspring having buttsex! No offspring, no retarded monkey/fish/squirrels. Now we can all go back knowing the truth! That we all came from a carved piece of wood made by Odin! ,-)
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Female 2,289
mylostdog,

I was going to post the words... Now I`m pissed. leave this site and go find your dog or something.

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Female 2,289
I love south park. Funny as hell. Ms./mr. Garrison is lovely.
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Female 406
This is one of the lowest forms of humor, which is why I find it hysterical xD
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Male 4,680
Butt-sex with retarded monkey-squirrels... yup, seems reasonable.
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Female 1,470
LMFAO
thats my favorite clip of the day
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Female 471
Alright kids, it is now my job to teach you the theory of evolution. Now I, for one, think evolution is a bunch of BULLCRAP. But I’ve been told I have to teach it anyway. It was thought up by Charles Darwin and it goes something like this: In the beginning we were all fish. Okay? Swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So Retard Fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day, a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands… and it had buttsex with a squirrel or something and made this, retard frog squirrel, and then that had a retard baby which was a… monkey fish-frog… And then this monkey fish-frog had buttsex with that monkey, and… that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey and… that made you! So there you go! You’re the retarded offspring of five monkeys having buttsex with a fish-squirrel!
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Male 474
i really want to join the debate, but im tired of posting the evidence that evolution has been proven and creationists *ahem* excuse me, fundementalists ignore when it is thrust in their faces. GRRRrrr i said i DIDNT want to join this argument!!! WHY MUST I LOWER MYSELF TO THIS?

Anyway, that clip, like all southpark episodes, was stupid...

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Male 477
"Archeology is about the search for Facts, not truth. If you want the truth, philosophy is down the hall."
Your view and opinion of the facts does not change the facts. Fact - the earth revolves around the sun. Your view of the sun from the planet may be that it appears to circle us, but it is not a fact. It is your distorted perception based on incomplete observation.
And while I COULD go into the whole philosophy of the universe revolving around us because we each see the world differently and in a sense create our own reality and are thus each our own God...I`m very certain that was not what Prime was talking about and I`m just gonna side with catbarf: what a prick.
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Male 436
I am the flying spaghetti monster.
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Female 4,225
ska, it`s very simple really.

After several mutations, branchings, and scoial and behaviorial evolution, our perspective changed.

The forum has evolved, we are talking about global warming.

BLAH!

But Mrs. Garrison is sort of right.

Mutation, mutation, mutation, mutation, muytation....mutation...mutation, mutation...five million mutations...

mutations.

Ok, not 5 million m7tations maybe, but still.

And it didn`t really originate woth Darwin. Darwin just developed the idea of Naturel Selection.

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Male 11,739
One of the best South Parks skits ever.
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Female 20
haha, what i find amusing is how a video on evolution caused a debate on global warming
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Male 616
Same voices but they changed slightly when they got to "4th grade".
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Male 366
mrs. garrison - I`m not a monkey I`m a woman!
Mr. Mackey - ........mmmmkayyy......

rcjdude, it`s from the episode "go god go" and it`s a two parter

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Male 46
What episode is this from?
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Female 1,186
i LUVED this episode!
yup no scientific points from me =)
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Male 1,455
"Man, for a "scientist" you sure don`t sound very mature."

It`s hard to avoid getting annoyed when your opponent is remarking upon ethnic stereotypes, engaging in petty self-fellation, citing wildly false claims as evidence, and casually dismissing the bulk of davy`s entire profession due to not understanding the concepts involved. It`s straining.

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Male 1
I thought everyone knew what is behind global warming. Ironically it does have something to do with butt sex. Just think about how much everyone is not abiding by the rules God set down. Catholics, Protestants, Jews, Muslim, etc it doesn`t matter fewer and fewer are following the "rules" divorce, adultry,abortions,killing molesting children etc. SO what is causeing global warming. The END IS NEAR the EARTH is MOVING CLOSER TO HELL!. I beleive it is supposed to be hot there. To me this is the most plausible explaination.
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Male 1,455
"Earth going around the sun is true from one perspective, not necessarily another."

Not at all. There is no perspective with evidence to support such a claim.

"Just as long as in one perspective im at the center of the universe, then its ok."

Sarcastic or not, what a prick.

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Male 2,605
"This is a perfect example of no matter what you believe, your still wrong"

Science has never been about finding absolute truth. Absolute truth, as we tend to think of it, doesn`t exist. What`s left is continually updating our best explanation, and at this point that explanation is evolution. Nothing proves these explanations - they just fit the evidence, and to that end serve the purpose of satiating our curiosity, at least until we discover something better. If there is a better explanation out there, the scientific method would be the vehicle with which we`d discover it.

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Female 1,984
"I don`t usually watch South Park, but did Cartman`s voice actor change after a certain season? He sounds different."

No, Cartman is just anxious. That strains the voice a bit in his case.

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Male 34
Man, for a "scientist" you sure don`t sound very mature.
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Male 12,138
F*ck you Prime. I want to hate you so bad, yet I can`t. I`m still in hot-tub mode.
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Male 7,933
^^^
But I like jews... they always win valedictorian. At it was Scientist in a Jewish university, its like stereotype x2. If only they were also accountants.

Earth going around the sun is true from one perspective, not necessarily another. Just as long as in one perspective im at the center of the universe, then its ok.

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Male 12,138
^^ Prime, with all due respect, I don`t give a flying f*ck what jews think on matters of science. How does a partiular religious group have any authority in scientific matters? Apples and pears mate.

You might as well point out how Islamists deny gravity, or buddhists deny that death happens, or Christians deny the earth rotates around the sun. It is meaningless. I could just as well point out "Well, engineers say the Golden Gate Bridge is a suspension span, but people from Armenia disagree with this view." Abso-f*cking-lutely irrelevant.

I say again: leave the science to the scientists.

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Female 84
i heard humans are the offspring of primates and aliens....
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Male 1,455
Prime, you didn`t even read the article. Note:

"And they contradict the extensive evidence presented in the most recent IPCC [Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change] report."

The guy`s ignoring greenhouse gases entirely. The Sun is not heating up. He`s getting support from the groups against the notion of global warming, in spite of a complete lack of scientific basis for his ludicrous claims.

"And red stars are colder than yellow and blue stars."

Not when they swell large enough to engulf Mercury.

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Male 12,138
"And red stars are colder than yellow and blue stars."

Not when they`re two inches from your face, buddy.

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Male 12,138
Prime, Mars has been getting hotter since records began, which was -oh, about 3 years ago.

And just because one bloke called Habibullo Abdussamatov says that it`s not due to Milancoviç cyclicity, doesn`t necessarily make it so. 99% of climatologists agree that evidence from carbon isotopes, as well as absolute abundance of CO2 in earth`s atmosphere since the industrial revolution, strongly point to an anthropogeni...

Oh, f*ck it. You believe that comic book guy who says the earth is shrinking. Leave the science to the scientists, Prime.

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Male 1,078
lol.
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Male 7,933
Mars is getting Hotter

And red stars are colder than yellow and blue stars.

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Male 2,788
Lolwut?
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Male 221
That`s one of my favorite south park clips.
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Male 1,455
"Yeah, but at one point we believed that the woman was just a nesting hole for the sperm. This is a perfect example of no matter what you believe, your still wrong"

Yes, that is what we believed when church controlled state, and scientific research into such topics was forbidden. No surprise there.

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Male 1,455
"Greenhouse gasses? I thought the whole, Mars is getting just as hot as Earth which shows that its the sun thats getting hotter. See why I hate mainstream science."

Mainstream science is fine, your inability to perform accurate research is at fault. Mars is not heating up. The sun will not become hotter until it reaches the critical point and becomes a red giant, and since it`s several billion years old any change would be so minute wouldn`t matter in the slightest.

Mainstream science for the win.

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Male 9,305
I have to agree, God lighting a fart is probably the most amusing out of all theories of how the universe came to be. XD
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Male 7,933
"Two different theories exist on the origin of children: Sexual reproduction, and the stork. Many believe in the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory at school. However, many philosophers favor the theory of the stork. Therefore, if the theory of sexual reproduction is to be taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork must also be taught."

Yeah, but at one point we believed that the woman was just a nesting hole for the sperm. This is a perfect example of no matter what you believe, your still wrong

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Male 7,933
Greenhouse gasses? I thought the whole, Mars is getting just as hot as Earth which shows that its the sun thats getting hotter. See why I hate mainstream science. They can lick my retarded nuts who had butt-sex with a fish squirrel
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Female 341
haha she/he said butt sex...
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Male 1,204
yay buttshecks
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Male 12,138
^^ Listen to Fred Phelps here
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Male 307
the only problem with the "huggist" theory for the causation of global warming is that God HATES us...Alot
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Male 12,138
^^ As a professional earth scientists, I can concur with Trigod`s statement. While the scientific mainstream does indeed tend to side with green gas accession, there is a small but vocal number of "huggists" who are working hard (even at the risk of ridicule by their scientific peer group) to advance the alternative theory.

Teach the controversy!

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Female 136
Maybe it`s because I`m getting older and can`t hear the high pitched portion of his voice as much anymore. XD
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Female 122
"I`m not a monkey! I`M A WOMAN!" LMAO! and no Cartman`s voice never changed its the same actor...maybe Cartman is getting older I have no idea lol!
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Male 281
Two different theories exist on global warming: the accession of greenhouse gases, and God hugging the Earth really tight because he loves us so much. The accession of greenhouse gases is only a theory, over which there is much controversy; thus, we should be open to other theories, like the theory of God hugging the earth extra tight. Because this issue is so controversial, we should teach the controversy in our science classrooms, and make God hugging the earth extra tight a part of the wider scientific curriculum.
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Female 136
I don`t usually watch South Park, but did Cartman`s voice actor change after a certain season? He sounds different.
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Female 400
South Park FTW
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Female 15,763
Bahaha, I love Youtube comments:

"Two different theories exist on the origin of children: Sexual reproduction, and the stork. Many believe in the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory at school. However, many philosophers favor the theory of the stork. Therefore, if the theory of sexual reproduction is to be taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork must also be taught."

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Male 12,138
The Family Guy take on the subject is funny too (in case there`s anyone left on the interwebs who hasn`t seen it yet)

http://religiousfreaks.com/2006/07/09/evolution-vs-creationism-family-guy-style/

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Female 81
lmfaoo `buttsex`, `retard babies`. this just made my day.
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Female 706
*Laughs her butt off*

But some religious types can still believe in evolution. So you can`t pick out all of them by way of debate.

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Female 5,139
haha this made me chuckle lots :D
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Male 480
o god
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Male 12,138
^^ "Or we could NOT have an evolution debate.
That would be a nice way to go."

We could. But that would be so unfair- creationism vs evolution debates on IAB pay fancylad`s rent.

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Male 2,395
Retarded Buttsex FTW!! >_>
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Female 375
lol. that was funny =]
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Male 167
People are too needy to just say we don`t know.
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Male 1,404
"Butt sex with a retarded fish squirrels...." Classic. What is wrong with saying we just don`t know?
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Female 15,763
But then we get to find out who the religious nuts are and who the evolutionists that pick fights are.

:D

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Female 2,027
lmao
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Male 167
Or we could NOT have an evolution debate.
That would be a nice way to go.
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Female 15,763
Aaaand cue the evolution debate!

BANG!

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Male 89
So we`re all retards... that like buttsex. Yay us!
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Female 519
Ms. Garrison always has something to say...
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Female 157
Hahaha I love this
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Female 360
Link: The South Park Theory of Evolution [Rate Link] - We`re all the retarded offspring of monkey-fish who had buttsex with squirrels?
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