Feeding Your F_cking Family

Submitted by: Nic_Gaybot 9 years ago in Funny

The way to a family"s heart is through their stomachs. So fill up those stomachs, ladies. Or else.
There are 50 comments:
Female 49
stupid...

I am so not having children though. =]

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Male 358
Does it make my gay if I cook for my girlfriend then? Or does it make her a lesbian if i can cook better than her
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Female 1,984
That`s just stupid. It`s not the mother`s job to cook all the time. In fact, in my family, my father is the cook!
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Male 104
dragonshadoz- She reminds me of nicolas cage. with long hair.
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Female 1,186
her lame dancing is hilarious
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Male 242
wow ackward
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Female 170
I could be here all day, I shall stop there though...
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Female 170
Q: Why do men snore?

A: Because their balls fall over their buttholes and they vapour-lock.

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Female 170
Q: Why do women actually marry men in the first place?

A: Because vibrators cant mow the lawn.

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Male 395
IRON MY SHIRT BITCH!
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Female 4,028
She is strongly reminding me of someone...
I actually thought this was funny though.
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Female 471
Q: What do you call an honest, faithful man?

A: A vibrator!

HAA HAA HAA

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Female 471
Q: What do you call a man with a huge dick?

A: A vibrator!

HAA HAA HAA

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Female 471
F*CK YEAHH! NO KIDS!
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Male 336
"Q. Why is a woman like a pack of cards?"

I`ve know two diff answers to that one:

A. They`re only fun when they`re already stacked.

or

A. You need a Heart to love her,
You need a Diamond to win her,
You need a Club to smash her head in,
And a Spade to bury the b****.

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Male 2,440
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW this was boring.
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Male 1,825
its not as dirty as it sounds btw
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Male 1,825
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Female 15,763
Ahaha, Davy`s jokes made me laugh more than the link.
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Male 2,395
Meh, I smiled on a few parts.
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Male 12,138
Ba-da-ba-boom, *cymbal crash*. Thank you, thank you very much, you`re a great audience, I`m here till tuesday. Love ya, good night!
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Male 1,766
never heard that one good though
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Male 2,028
Good one...
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Male 12,138
A. Because when she comes she`s wet and wild. And when she goes, she takes half your f*cking house with her.
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Male 12,138
patthebaker beats karobert in a photo-finish. OK, last one...

Q. Why is a woman like a hurricane?

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Male 1,766
last one
Why couldn`t Hellen Keller drive?
Because she was a woman.
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Male 1,766
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
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Male 2,028
oh...well I was wrong...
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Male 1,623
A.

You need a Heart to love her,

You need a Diamond to win her,

You need a Club to smash her head in,

And a Spade to bury the bitch.

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Male 1,766
You need a Heart to love her,
You need a Diamond to win her,
You need a Club to smash her head in,
And a Spade to bury the bitch.
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Male 2,028
^^In response to Davymid...
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Male 2,028
A. (guess, probably wrong) Because you play with them until they get old and worn out, then you buy more.
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Male 2,028
I drating hate commercial families. So drating much you wouldn`t believe it.

Why don`t women wear watches?
`Cause there`s a clock on the stove.

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Male 12,138
Q. Why is a woman like a pack of cards? (I`ll let someone else deliver the punchline on this golden oldie)
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Male 29
How pathetic. But it is true that being a house wife is about as much work as having a career of you`re own. But one should never strive to be perfect: if you can cook, then cook. But if you cannot cook, no matter what you do, then it is just not meant to be.
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Male 12,138
^^ See? A ladygirl is joining in on the jokes, so we`re off the hook lads...

Ladies, we are actually just having a bit of fun... No flame wars please...

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Female 148
Why don`t women go skiing?

There`s no snow between the kitchen and the bedroom.


Why did the woman cross the road?

HOW THE HELL DID SHE GET OUT OF THE HOUSE?!


Heh. -runs away-

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Male 1,825
wanna hear a joke?

women`s rights

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Male 12,138
Building on the gender-bashing started by patthebaker and murrymalty:

Q: What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

A: Nothing. You`ve told the bitch twice already.

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Male 3,369
I cook and I enjoy it..whats the big deal?
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Female 74
oh my god she was hilarious. it was really funny watching her as she stumbled over her "jokes". lol. verry funny.
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Male 1,220
heheh i saw that last night... and i thought it was funny so all you guys can go do something unpleasant!
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Female 434
Meh.
I didn`t really get it.
And yeah, some of us aren`t funny, but try to be, and some of us are really funny and don`t know it.
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Male 1,825
yeah, she was pretty awkward. i honestly couldn`t tell she was making jokes. i dont know too many good female stand-up comedians
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Female 2,672
cook bitch,
and yes some gals just try 2 hard 2 b funny
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Male 1,766
that was a joke for you idiots out there
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Male 1,766
it makes me happy she knows her place
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Male 104
It might just be this actress, but without trying to sound sexist, does anyone else find female comedians realy "awkward". Don`t get me wrong, I`m sure someone here will give a list of amazing female comedians as long as my .... (which wouldn`t take up many lines) Just wondered if anyone else felt the same that girls have to try harder to make something funny.
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Male 1,825
meh
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Female 230
Link: Feeding Your F_cking Family [Rate Link] - The way to a family`s heart is through their stomachs. So fill up those stomachs, ladies. Or else.
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