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Rating: 3.5
Category: Weird
Date: 07/17/08 09:45 AM

60 Responses to Botched Suicide Attempt

  1. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18502 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 8:56 am
    Link: Botched Suicide Attempt - Guy watches an episode of CSI and thinks he can pull off the old balloon-gun suicide trick.
  2. Profile photo of DHise
    DHise Male 13-17
    868 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 9:50 am
    Hilarious.
  3. Profile photo of brunch
    brunch Male 13-17
    40 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 9:50 am
    hahaha I saw that episode
  4. Profile photo of LoofahBoy
    LoofahBoy Male 18-29
    3302 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 9:51 am
    I wonder how quick it takes for the inevitable honking from the lobbying crowd, screaming for CSI to be banned from the airwaves.
  5. Profile photo of Isobar
    Isobar Male 18-29
    293 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 9:52 am
    more reasons for the TV censorship groups to go to town on tv.
  6. Profile photo of farquaadhnch
    farquaadhnch Male 18-29
    1225 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 9:52 am
    Botched? He pulled it off smart guy! He`s dead!

    The only thing botched is the attempt to make it look like a murder.

  7. Profile photo of KeVsTeR2475
    KeVsTeR2475 Male 13-17
    1843 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 9:52 am
    aww i didnt see that episode :(

    looks REALLY planned thru in an intelligent way tho =3

  8. Profile photo of DorisDahmer
    DorisDahmer Male 13-17
    86 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 9:56 am
    *Insert Darwin joke here.
  9. Profile photo of brunch
    brunch Male 13-17
    40 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 9:57 am
    FancyLad`s randomly canadian now!

    W000T
  10. Profile photo of kenny_f
    kenny_f Male 13-17
    1825 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 9:57 am
    that cop was one interesting charachter
  11. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11742 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 10:00 am
    How is this a botched attempt? It looks to me like it worked. It was a botched attempt at a cover-up, a botched attempt to make it look like a homicide, but hardly a botched suicide.
  12. Profile photo of brunch
    brunch Male 13-17
    40 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 10:01 am
    I was waiting for the The opening credits to pop up, also the song lol, whooo are you, who who, who who...
  13. Profile photo of mcmonkeyman
    mcmonkeyman Male 13-17
    243 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 10:05 am
    jesus christ, when a kid gets killed everyone blames video games and cartoons but as we can see here we should be blaming csi
  14. Profile photo of Groogle
    Groogle Male 30-39
    2172 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 10:06 am
    Riiiight... and this is not a criminal who killed someone making it look like it was a suicide that was made to look like a murder.

    Nobody Suspects The Butterfly.

  15. Profile photo of norwegian
    norwegian Male 18-29
    80 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 10:06 am
    what a douchebag
  16. Profile photo of Foreseen
    Foreseen Male 18-29
    34 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 10:16 am
    I guess his suicide was full of hot air...zing!
  17. Profile photo of deathxtra
    deathxtra Male 13-17
    2791 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 10:19 am
    ^^


    *cricket chirps*

  18. Profile photo of docwatson
    docwatson Male 18-29
    253 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 10:22 am
    If it HAD worked his life insurance probably would have covered his wife`s medical problems :\
  19. Profile photo of deathxtra
    deathxtra Male 13-17
    2791 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 10:22 am
    fancylad was a 70& up Asain woman before.
  20. Profile photo of Nath2k8
    Nath2k8 Male 18-29
    241 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 10:26 am
    How is it an attempt? He killed himself!
  21. Profile photo of airsofter1
    airsofter1 Male 18-29
    1090 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 10:27 am
    i agree with docwatson. not too bad of an idea. aside from the insanity of it.
  22. Profile photo of msdenee
    msdenee Female 18-29
    240 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 10:35 am
    "If it HAD worked his life insurance probably would have covered his wife`s medical problems"

    I agree. He probably wanted the insurance money to go to his kid, but since the coverup failed... CLAIM DENIED!

  23. Profile photo of maceizballin
    maceizballin Male 13-17
    904 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 10:38 am
    the way you worded that led me to believe that he failed at killing himself. but thats interesting i guess. suicide is never the answer
  24. Profile photo of L1ghty
    L1ghty Male 18-29
    3 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 10:38 am
    Funny that people automatically assume he got it from CSI, there is a very similar story line in a Sherlock Holmes book. I think it wouldn`t be too farfetched to say that CSI is probably based on that anyways.

    Btw, Groogle, I had the exact same thought, it could have been a smart killer who did this

  25. Profile photo of 153Fish
    153Fish Male 13-17
    162 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 10:54 am
    Aw, sweet! Now that they think it was a suicide, I`m off the hook!
  26. Profile photo of Aqua_Bird
    Aqua_Bird Female 13-17
    536 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 11:02 am
    Wow, all you`d really have to do to get away with murder is tie a balloon to a gun.
    And make sure there`s no DNA evidence as well...
  27. Profile photo of BlackiPod
    BlackiPod Male 18-29
    1246 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 11:13 am
    The vitim, uh... was a, uh... elaborate... SUICIDER??!
  28. Profile photo of RandyTheFool
    RandyTheFool Male 18-29
    820 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 11:33 am
    Question: How is traveling across the state of Texas overseeing Red Lobster restaurants considered a "good job"?
  29. Profile photo of dragonshadoz
    dragonshadoz Female 18-29
    4033 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 11:34 am
    Yes, very elaborate. And is it just me, or did they say "last March"? As in... about a year ago? And they`re reporting it now?
  30. Profile photo of DolceAmaro
    DolceAmaro Female 13-17
    74 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 11:44 am
    this was both sad and funny. sad because i think it was supposed to be sad, and funny because i am evil and i laughed at it. lol.
  31. Profile photo of stevo3210
    stevo3210 Male 18-29
    63 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 12:03 pm
    hmm... Notice how they never mention how the victim was able to set a gun perfectly in a cactus, aim it directly into the back of his head, calculate the effect of the recoil on the direction of the bullet, and trigger the gun from a few feet away with his back turned.

    Granted that he could have set it off with a long string, but they fail to mention that he was holding one.

    If the police are not looking further into this as a possible murder, then they`re not doing their job.

  32. Profile photo of prillypopz
    prillypopz Female 18-29
    170 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 12:05 pm
    A) The title`s misleading - I was looking forward to seeing a vegetable that failed to kill themself.

    B) What an idiot.

    C) Red Lobster restaurants are good! Well, the one and only time I went to one in Florida anyway.

  33. Profile photo of prillypopz
    prillypopz Female 18-29
    170 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 12:06 pm
    Plus - surely the helium balloon would`ve gone further than they said it did. Unless of course it went up, then popped, then came straight back down.

    That would make more sense.

  34. Profile photo of RandyTheFool
    RandyTheFool Male 18-29
    820 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 12:14 pm
    prillypopz, I think some wind caught the balloon, dragged it across the ground, and it went directly into that bush a few feet away.
  35. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15782 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 12:18 pm
    Did he say in the note it was from CSI or something? It`s not like CSI made it up...
  36. Profile photo of PianoMan21
    PianoMan21 Male 18-29
    315 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 12:24 pm
    Seems like he was successful to me...
  37. Profile photo of BoNe_Juggalo
    BoNe_Juggalo Male 13-17
    352 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 12:27 pm
    Last week Fancylad was 13-17 and from Asia. Now he`s 60-69 and from Canada... You get around a lot don`t you fancy?
  38. Profile photo of Sabre200000
    Sabre200000 Male 18-29
    1039 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 12:35 pm
    stevo3210

    LOL, wow stevo...you about as smart as the guy this article is about. I`m not even going to bother explaining it to you if you didn`t get the entire thing the first time.

    LOL, if this was a murder made to look like a failed suicide attempt. That would be funny...well, in a way.

  39. Profile photo of Gerbear
    Gerbear Female 18-29
    1186 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 12:47 pm
    overseeing red lobsters is a "good job"?
  40. Profile photo of Painter13
    Painter13 Male 40-49
    1370 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 2:06 pm
    T.V., what can`t it teach us. Brilliant!!!
  41. Profile photo of Agentk120
    Agentk120 Male 18-29
    511 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 2:42 pm
    Uhh, that suicide attempt doesn`t sound botched to me. Botched fraud perhaps, but the suicide seems rather successful.
  42. Profile photo of beatlefaerie
    beatlefaerie Female 18-29
    294 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 2:47 pm
    Did they say his name was Hitman?
  43. Profile photo of unsub
    unsub Female 18-29
    925 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 2:51 pm
    "Notice how they never mention how the victim was able to set a gun perfectly in a cactus,..."
    ----
    The gun got tangled up in the cactus instead of floating away but it wasn`t set there.

    Also, it`s not a botched suicide, that guy was pretty successful.

  44. Profile photo of beki_mc
    beki_mc Female 18-29
    8 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 4:08 pm
    did the cop remind anyone else of the iced tea/oreo guy? I can just imagine him telling people not to rupture the center...
  45. Profile photo of xXxNatexXx
    xXxNatexXx Male 13-17
    135 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 4:33 pm
    i betcha he`s pissed that it didn`t work xD
  46. Profile photo of bwahbwah
    bwahbwah Male 13-17
    982 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 6:10 pm
    Hahahah I`m not gonna lie thats pretty drating awesome.
    Kudos to that guy, shame it didn`t work.
    Brilliant idea to be honest.
  47. Profile photo of Kay62442
    Kay62442 Female 13-17
    732 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 6:36 pm
    Well, at least his main objective was accomplished. .__.

    And I know that this is 9rrelevant, but...

    ...why is it that we all only notice that Fancylad changes his identity when he`s suddenly from Canada?

  48. Profile photo of hooray4hazel
    hooray4hazel Female 13-17
    255 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 8:08 pm
    HAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


    EPIC FAIL.

  49. Profile photo of thelonious
    thelonious Male 40-49
    3278 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 8:20 pm
    Odin damned! That guy had issues
  50. Profile photo of togetec
    togetec Male 13-17
    608 posts
    July 17, 2008 at 9:21 pm
    he obviously had no friends
  51. Profile photo of pariahnola
    pariahnola Male 18-29
    649 posts
    July 18, 2008 at 12:35 am
    I hate CSI that show is so full of s hit its not even funny
  52. Profile photo of Devi3000
    Devi3000 Female 18-29
    1497 posts
    July 18, 2008 at 2:19 am
    Wha a douchebag. EVERYONE REJOICE THE WORLD IS RID ONE DOUCHE!!!!
  53. Profile photo of kairobert
    kairobert Male 18-29
    1626 posts
    July 18, 2008 at 3:38 am
    I prefer NCIS over CSI, even though its almost the same.
  54. Profile photo of mordecai8318
    mordecai8318 Male 18-29
    17 posts
    July 18, 2008 at 5:29 am
    assuming that this isn`t actually a murder made to look like a suicide made to look like a murder, poor guy thought he could help his wife with insurance money. he should have paid an assassin to murder him. then his wife definitely would have collected.

    sucks either way.

  55. Profile photo of DarkProdigy
    DarkProdigy Male 18-29
    475 posts
    July 18, 2008 at 7:10 am
    Aww. After I read docwatson`s post, I feel sorry for him now...
  56. Profile photo of minicabbage
    minicabbage Male 13-17
    104 posts
    July 18, 2008 at 5:27 pm
    Elaborate suicide or very clever murderer...??!
  57. Profile photo of Tekno
    Tekno Female 30-39
    1212 posts
    July 18, 2008 at 6:52 pm
    I remember that episode, too.
  58. Profile photo of handsomefag
    handsomefag Male 18-29
    296 posts
    July 18, 2008 at 6:54 pm
    poo man, close one
  59. Profile photo of paradix
    paradix Male 18-29
    143 posts
    July 19, 2008 at 7:34 am
    Ahh... thee old baloon gun suicide trick :P
  60. Profile photo of cielrouge
    cielrouge Female 18-29
    119 posts
    July 19, 2008 at 10:05 am
    thats so stupid... his "suicide" isnt based on an episode of csi, the conclusion to the investigation is based on csi.

    effin cops... morons

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