Rockin' in the free world since 2005.

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101 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 34219
Rating: 3.8
Category: Funny
Date: 07/09/08 10:45 PM

101 Responses to Best Porn Intro Ever

  1. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18502 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 9:45 pm
    Link: Best Porn Intro Ever - They don`t make porn like they used to anymore. Relax, SAFE FOR WORK.
  2. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18502 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 9:49 pm
  3. Profile photo of chalky
    chalky Male 13-17
    15 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 10:45 pm
    haha the snake wrestling bit is so awesome...
  4. Profile photo of Dextrine
    Dextrine Male 18-29
    483 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 10:53 pm
    the last porn film "actual film not just little clips" i saw was of a lady who ran into some guys balls with a bike (extremely fake looking) then she proceeds to "soothe his pain" and asks if her mouth would make it feel better...

    great one btw

  5. Profile photo of patthebaker
    patthebaker Male 18-29
    1768 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 10:54 pm
    are you sure this is a porno because i think i saw this on the sci fi channel
  6. Profile photo of LoofahBoy
    LoofahBoy Male 18-29
    3302 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 10:54 pm
    Uhhh...

    ...

    ...


    Er...?


    <.<

    >.>

    ...

    *fapfapfapfapfapfap*...

  7. Profile photo of patthebaker
    patthebaker Male 18-29
    1768 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 10:58 pm
    you got to think someone actually wrote this
  8. Profile photo of PostModern
    PostModern Male 18-29
    77 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 11:02 pm
    LOL
  9. Profile photo of xxminglexx
    xxminglexx Female 18-29
    761 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 11:04 pm
    You got to think someone actually wrote this on either a paper bag or a napkin and called it their masterpiece.
  10. Profile photo of maceizballin
    maceizballin Male 13-17
    904 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 11:04 pm
    yeah u gotta watch out for those garden snakes...er giant rubber anacondas
  11. Profile photo of HaruHaru
    HaruHaru Female 13-17
    1066 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 11:05 pm
    That snake almost kind of looked real, I`m semi- almost impressed.
  12. Profile photo of peanut_x
    peanut_x Female 13-17
    408 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 11:11 pm
    HA HA HA HA HA HA
  13. Profile photo of the_windy
    the_windy Female 18-29
    1589 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 11:11 pm
    I`m sure it sounded AWESOME in the script. :P
    LOL at the Canada shirt. XD Obviously NOT located in Canada...no palm trees over here. ^-^
  14. Profile photo of LemonTarte
    LemonTarte Female 18-29
    1441 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 11:14 pm
    Oh god wait till you get to the last line. It`s almost too bad for words
  15. Profile photo of Ajikan
    Ajikan Male 18-29
    1526 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 11:17 pm
    .....what was the name of that movie. im sure many males are wondering.
  16. Profile photo of White_Wolfos
    White_Wolfos Female 18-29
    1145 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 11:18 pm
    I feel dirty. >.>

    She looked like she wanted to sex that tree for a second there...

  17. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7936 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 11:24 pm
    "LOL at the Canada shirt. XD Obviously NOT located in Canada...no palm trees over here. ^-^"

    So there are no palm trees located over there, eh?

  18. Profile photo of crazydaiz
    crazydaiz Female 18-29
    251 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 11:32 pm
    why was she smelling the tree
    is that some sort of hungarian custom to get used to the surroundings?
  19. Profile photo of akijade
    akijade Female 18-29
    1006 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 11:40 pm
    He flat out said "Welcome to America" so... I don`t understand the Canada shirt. And while he was wrestling the "garter snake" I started to wonder if it was a gay porno...
  20. Profile photo of bluethen
    bluethen Male 13-17
    617 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 11:49 pm
    Porn videos always had bad acting... not that I watch them or anything...
  21. Profile photo of beternal
    beternal Male 18-29
    2589 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 11:50 pm
    Why are all hungarian girls I know called anita?!
  22. Profile photo of just17n8
    just17n8 Male 18-29
    45 posts
    July 9, 2008 at 11:56 pm
    LOL... my god thats low even for a porno
  23. Profile photo of deathxtra
    deathxtra Male 13-17
    2791 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 12:04 am
    *fap*
  24. Profile photo of RetroNess
    RetroNess Female 18-29
    118 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 12:07 am
    Where can I watch the rest?
  25. Profile photo of Ladyasha09
    Ladyasha09 Female 18-29
    29 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 12:21 am
    lol that was too funny
  26. Profile photo of biggraft
    biggraft Male 18-29
    39 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 12:22 am
    Them Canadians are fantastic at wrestling them there snakes :P haha
  27. Profile photo of tommy419
    tommy419 Male 13-17
    476 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 12:25 am
    i thought that snake was real at first! *sarcasim* but i lmaoed so badly when he said "let me show you another snake"
  28. Profile photo of Shellie84
    Shellie84 Female 18-29
    4198 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 12:27 am
    loofah your comment made me lol so hard XD

    My neighbour worked in a porn shop and gave me some vids. Best porn with really lame acting I saw was one that parodied a bunch of reality shows. some guy had sex with a hot chick but when he sobered up it was some fat hairy guy in a blonde wig! :O

    HE also offered me midget porn... I couldn`t bring myself to look

  29. Profile photo of BrainBits
    BrainBits Male 30-39
    445 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 12:33 am
    This should be marked as "AD"
  30. Profile photo of yen223
    yen223 Male 18-29
    342 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 12:38 am
    *SPOILER ALERT*
    It ends with the girl smoking a cigerette and the guy crying, turns out the fake garden snake wasn`t the only limp thing around.
  31. Profile photo of Pabasa
    Pabasa Male 18-29
    4014 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 12:48 am
    L2act. Please. Even if it`s porn.
  32. Profile photo of Pabasa
    Pabasa Male 18-29
    4014 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 12:50 am
    Actually *especially* if it`s porn. I watch porn because I`m unable to do the real thing, so watching it helps with the imagination.
  33. Profile photo of catlikegrace
    catlikegrace Female 18-29
    487 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 12:52 am
    I have to ask...why are people watching these videos at work?
  34. Profile photo of Cayday
    Cayday Female 18-29
    143 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 1:09 am
    That is beyond hilarious. I applaud their acting skills, they are both truly fabulous. And the editing skills, as well as the props were just priceless. I hope this one some sort of award.

  35. Profile photo of Filipino916
    Filipino916 Male 18-29
    494 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 1:26 am
    So that`s how you wrestle a garter snake. By ground and pounding it like Mark Coleman. I like how the camera`s epileptic pace made it really seem like he was wrestling with a snake. Just like in Resident Evil. I guess sniffing trees is an aphrodisiac as well.
  36. Profile photo of Mikeado
    Mikeado Male 18-29
    2160 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 1:42 am
    Re-re-re-repost!!!

    Still bad tho. Why teach English to someone who understands exactly what he`s saying and replies back?

  37. Profile photo of KMeTG
    KMeTG Male 18-29
    1265 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 2:06 am
    Lolz@"I`ll show you another one." :D:D:D
  38. Profile photo of Meh110
    Meh110 Male 13-17
    292 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 2:58 am
    he almost got ate!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111!!1!!
  39. Profile photo of elkingo
    elkingo Male 30-39
    5387 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 3:05 am
    lol
  40. Profile photo of LadyWeasel
    LadyWeasel Female 30-39
    471 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 3:08 am
    I-AM-BORED.COM owes me a new keyboard. I was eating ice cream when I watched that!

    My cats could concoct a better script than that! It would go something like this:

    Queen: Meow
    Sire: Meow-wow!
    Queen: Prrrr-prrrowr!
    Sire: HISSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
    Queen: Meow?
    Sire: Oooh!! A mouse!
    Queen: Meow? Oooooh! Shiney object!!

    The end.

  41. Profile photo of thubanstar
    thubanstar Female 50-59
    815 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 3:34 am
    I`m in awe
  42. Profile photo of abbagold
    abbagold Male 18-29
    132 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 4:53 am
    there was a trouser snake joke there that never came to fruition.


    wow.. been a member for quite a while and finally i see something i need to post on!

  43. Profile photo of handsomefag
    handsomefag Male 18-29
    296 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 5:14 am
    wth this is a real porno according to some of the youtube comments.
  44. Profile photo of WDanC
    WDanC Male 18-29
    410 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 5:17 am
    Hungarians are made of plastic and are manufactured in Taiwan.
  45. Profile photo of WDanC
    WDanC Male 18-29
    410 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 5:17 am
    So .... in essence, that snake was her brother.
  46. Profile photo of A_L_Y_C_I_A
    A_L_Y_C_I_A Female 13-17
    129 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 5:18 am
    HAHAHA
    that was hilarious!
  47. Profile photo of evilben
    evilben Male 18-29
    47 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 5:32 am
    wow, just wow.
    "not all snakes are bad, I`ll show you another one"... damn, i should use that line.
  48. Profile photo of _Perfection_
    _Perfection_ Male 18-29
    1789 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 6:10 am
    I hate when large rubber snakes attack me in my back yard.
  49. Profile photo of PianoMan21
    PianoMan21 Male 18-29
    315 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 6:20 am
    Who wears short shorts? HE wears short shorts!
  50. Profile photo of NoWater
    NoWater Male 18-29
    80 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 6:22 am
    i hear this is based on a real story
  51. Profile photo of Dark_Lunar88
    Dark_Lunar88 Female 18-29
    34 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 7:07 am
    Wow...

    That`s all I can say about that.

  52. Profile photo of shortsagitar
    shortsagitar Female 18-29
    676 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 7:09 am
    haha that was great...
  53. Profile photo of luckyse7en
    luckyse7en Male 13-17
    2400 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 7:12 am
    Is the snake supposed to turn us on? >_>
  54. Profile photo of britt566
    britt566 Female 18-29
    2291 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 7:22 am
    it`s not the best porn intro ever
  55. Profile photo of Scythe246
    Scythe246 Male 13-17
    191 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 7:40 am
    Wow, i`m almost 50% impressed
  56. Profile photo of teph2112
    teph2112 Male 13-17
    650 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 7:45 am
    And this is why I watch hentai
    because at least it has a storyline (no matter how bad) and the japanese voice actors sound as if they know how to act
  57. Profile photo of flamingbambi
    flamingbambi Female 13-17
    235 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 7:49 am
    ^ I agree. Plus it doesn`t require shoddy actors..just requires a good artist.
    You don`t wanna hear the english dubs though...yeeesh.
  58. Profile photo of sporka
    sporka Female 18-29
    818 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 8:00 am
    I like that he just starts punching the boa constrictor xD
  59. Profile photo of BakaNeko728
    BakaNeko728 Female 18-29
    666 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 8:26 am
    the girl looked like a barbie doll right when i first saw her.
  60. Profile photo of Stone500
    Stone500 Male 18-29
    23 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 8:26 am
    Someone call Guiness, that has to be the biggest garter snake I`ve ever seen!
  61. Profile photo of Sobii
    Sobii Female 13-17
    264 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 8:51 am
    their budget was probably in the 15$ range somewhere
  62. Profile photo of Pandasims
    Pandasims Female 18-29
    504 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 8:56 am
    That $15 must have all gone towards sourcing the biggest garter snake ever...now this is a picture of a `GIANT garter snake` its approx 162 centimeters..LOL

  63. Profile photo of titania
    titania Female 18-29
    119 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 10:09 am
    pffftttthaaahaaahaahahaaa

    "not all snakes are that scary out here,
    let me show you another one"

    pfffttttthaaaahahahaaaahahaaaa

  64. Profile photo of BruceLeroy
    BruceLeroy Male 18-29
    123 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 10:10 am
    One time I tried to impress a foreign exchange student from Hungary by having my friend throw a rubber python at me and pretending to fight it off. Even though she didn`t speak English she wasn`t mentally handicapped and realized I was rolling around with a fake snake. She didn`t want to have sex with me or learn English from me anymore. And that kids is why we should always do the exact opposite of what we see in porn. It`s actually quite a good social service.
  65. Profile photo of Nidonemo
    Nidonemo Male 18-29
    9311 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 10:19 am
    Garter snakes...riiiiiight...forget to mention the 12 footer anacondas that happen to live in Miami too huh?
  66. Profile photo of mxchick617
    mxchick617 Female 18-29
    340 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 10:33 am
    I knew that was coming up after he wrestled the snake...they are so lame in the acting..
  67. Profile photo of Grossen
    Grossen Male 18-29
    455 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 10:37 am
    I saw this one! A little better acting and it would`ve sold it for me and I perhaps would`ve seen the good parts. Otherwise I`ll check out a movie with arbitrary situations for massive amounts of sexings.
  68. Profile photo of xBooda
    xBooda Male 18-29
    73 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 10:46 am
    hahahahaha loofah boy =P
  69. Profile photo of krifle2
    krifle2 Female 30-39
    193 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 11:11 am
    hey! wasn`t that Kevin Costner?? LMAO
  70. Profile photo of CJ-Boy-2010
    CJ-Boy-2010 Male 13-17
    384 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 11:20 am
    That`s is literally extraordinary.
  71. Profile photo of Phydeaux13
    Phydeaux13 Male 13-17
    616 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 11:26 am
    Lol at loofahboy. But besides, where did that garter snake on steroids come from? And that last line.... ugh.
  72. Profile photo of RyanF701
    RyanF701 Male 18-29
    2486 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 11:38 am
    LOL- Why did they use Garter Snakes? Those are the most harmless snakes on Earth.. We have a ton of em at a lake nearby, they`re not very big and the most they can do is piss on you if they get scared.
  73. Profile photo of buttersrules
    buttersrules Male 40-49
    287 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 11:38 am
    Given the subject matter, post 69 was a wasted opportunity.
    There is an australian remake of this. The guys name is steve, and when he jumps on the snake, he yells "CRIKEY"
  74. Profile photo of chary
    chary Female 13-17
    173 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 1:48 pm
    Wow, so I suppose those rubber snake epidemics in America I`ve been hearing about are true.

    .... This video cracked me up badly, I`m almost curious for the rest of it just for the bad acting o.o;.

  75. Profile photo of Marsilvanian
    Marsilvanian Male 18-29
    275 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 2:15 pm
    He has ANOTHER ONE!
  76. Profile photo of EstiloPanama
    EstiloPanama Female 18-29
    2074 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 2:39 pm
    Not watching. I already know it`s not funny.
  77. Profile photo of DVLDRVR666
    DVLDRVR666 Male 13-17
    612 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 3:09 pm
    jesus wtf was that
  78. Profile photo of iluv2paclgo
    iluv2paclgo Female 18-29
    40 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 3:28 pm
    HAHAHA LMAO
  79. Profile photo of TurkzAnGeL
    TurkzAnGeL Male 18-29
    87 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 5:00 pm
    That was SO bad hahaha I love how he just did the transition, "They`re not all bad, here, I`ll show ya another one" HAHAHAHA CLASSIC BAR LINE. Did he look retarded to anyone else also?
  80. Profile photo of thelonious
    thelonious Male 40-49
    3278 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 5:01 pm
    Wow, what a setup. Love how he keeps punching the snake as it is escaping his brutal bashing. Fortunately, not all snakes are scary
  81. Profile photo of greazytings
    greazytings Female 13-17
    121 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 6:04 pm
    LOL.. "let me show you another one."
  82. Profile photo of Chaos7
    Chaos7 Male 18-29
    849 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 6:30 pm
    The snake fight was an omen/innuendo(that`s how you spell it, right?):

    Snake= penis

    Guy grunting with force & rolling on the ground= wild sex

    Audience having second thoughts about the so-called snake= Bad sex for her

    Snake= $12

  83. Profile photo of bobaah_mc
    bobaah_mc Male 18-29
    105 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 6:44 pm
    ^ Is that supposed to be a mastercard-type ad joke. Like:
    Giant Rubber Snake: $5
    T-shirt with canada on the front: $10
    Coming up with the best line in any porno ever: Priceless
  84. Profile photo of Chaos7
    Chaos7 Male 18-29
    849 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 6:52 pm
    You right!


  85. Profile photo of mylostdog
    mylostdog Female 18-29
    471 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 8:50 pm
    oh. my. god. no words.
  86. Profile photo of jamzzz
    jamzzz Female 18-29
    179 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 9:05 pm
    I wish just ONCE, a guy would use such a clever pick up line as that in real life.
  87. Profile photo of ilovetristan
    ilovetristan Female 18-29
    663 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 9:27 pm
    That really is the best intro ever. I can`t stop laughing.
  88. Profile photo of DOUBLE_L7
    DOUBLE_L7 Male 18-29
    96 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 9:53 pm
    Hey I cured cancer;) Personally I would have gone with the line "OMG it bit me!! You will have to suck out the poison."
  89. Profile photo of Joey11y
    Joey11y Female 18-29
    500 posts
    July 10, 2008 at 11:37 pm
    LOL classic! The guy sorta looks like Lt. Dangle from Reno 911. :->
  90. Profile photo of LadyWeasel
    LadyWeasel Female 30-39
    471 posts
    July 11, 2008 at 2:32 am
    A better story line was if the snake bit his naughty parts and the Hungarian woman had to suck the poison out. But, the question remains, who gets to use the snake puppet and grab his crotch?
  91. Profile photo of MissGrey
    MissGrey Female 13-17
    60 posts
    July 11, 2008 at 12:50 pm
    lol, that was funny
    the snake part looked like me and my friends trying to remake snakes on a plane!
  92. Profile photo of thealchemist
    thealchemist Male 13-17
    10 posts
    July 11, 2008 at 1:46 pm
    Woah! That is weird...
  93. Profile photo of soleado10er
    soleado10er Male 18-29
    42 posts
    July 11, 2008 at 8:55 pm
    I like LadyWeasel`s idea...which shows that iab readers should write their own porn scripts.
  94. Profile photo of spongamabob
    spongamabob Female 18-29
    2087 posts
    July 11, 2008 at 10:47 pm
    haha. wow.
    crappy intro.
    but i WOULD love to have that snake to scare people. lol.
  95. Profile photo of lagatitamala
    lagatitamala Female 18-29
    194 posts
    July 11, 2008 at 11:48 pm
    omg lol.....that was just stupid if pornos were made like the deep throat one they mght actually be worth really watching....
  96. Profile photo of ninjanamedjt
    ninjanamedjt Male 13-17
    251 posts
    July 12, 2008 at 5:30 am
    eh... uh... er...
    How do I reply to such a great performance? I`m awestruck
  97. Profile photo of Fwoggie2
    Fwoggie2 Male 30-39
    1803 posts
    July 12, 2008 at 1:48 pm
    Man, if only it had fallen out of a passing aeroplane, then you could have had a pisstake of snakes on a plane...
  98. Profile photo of gcamaro32
    gcamaro32 Male 70 & Over
    242 posts
    July 15, 2008 at 8:15 pm
    and to think many a men were holding their junk while watching this...
  99. Profile photo of eeeriddler08
    eeeriddler08 Female 13-17
    376 posts
    July 19, 2008 at 1:58 pm
    lmfao. made my day
  100. Profile photo of OrangeCrow
    OrangeCrow Female 18-29
    1200 posts
    March 12, 2009 at 2:54 am
    Removed. :(
  101. Profile photo of 5starsexii
    5starsexii Female 13-17
    3 posts
    May 13, 2010 at 9:48 pm
    dats cute

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