20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants

Submitted by: 1CrazyURL 9 years ago in Funny
http://www.cracked.com/article_16475_20-baby-products-great-traumatizing-infants.html

Diapers and milk. Anything else is excessive ... and creepy.
There are 45 comments:
Female 23
a SNOT SUCKER?? seriously??? really? YUCK
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Female 374
the man boobs bottle thing scared me O_O
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Male 486
haha awesome
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Male 191
Mmmmm parent of the year award right there
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Female 399
Third arm thing looks great! Mop thing too.

The snot sucker? Words fail me.

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Female 34
I love the baby hamburger, that is so cute!
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Male 432
The Metallica Lullaby CD is a great idea, because when the kid gets old enough to appreciate Metallica, there is then nostalgia of not having to do anything associated with it.
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Female 8
The baby mop seems fine, providing they give you the handle too"

You made my day! lol

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Female 282
haha the hamburger suit got to me, it was so cutee.
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Male 1,468
The.. Manual... Snot Sucker? Nononono, this is a typo or something! *looks at picture* Oh.. my.. Oh my god... Holy... crap!

- My reaction to the Manual Snot Sucker.

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Female 4,197
"So many people complain about kids running around in places they`re not supposed to run in that I`m always surprised by the number of people complaining about parents who actually try to do something about it. Sure a leash might be heavy stuff and looks ridiculous, but I`ve seen ones you just tie on each other`s wrist. Kids don`t always want to hold hands."

I and people I know complain about parents who actively don`t bother making sure their kids don`t go where they shouldn`t. EG: talking to friends while kid tears up supermarket shelves.

On topic, they would have to pay me a lot to advertise the snot sucker thing... blegh

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Male 9,305
Good lord...
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Female 481
I`m a a little disturbed by the snot sucker.
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Male 4,680
I literally LOLed at the baby-mop. It`s...It`s brilliant! Just so full of win it`s hard to comprehend!
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Male 2,113
the "Po-Knee" is the only thing i would ever get for my kid (if i had one) but as for the "O`Pair Baby Leash" and the "Baby Keeper" those are just sick and wrong
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Male 2,781
LOLZ
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Male 541
baby mop?!?!
haha are you serious?
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Female 72
it gets really creepy after #10.
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Female 444
Already put in my order for the Daddle. Boyfriends count as kids, right?

Man, cracked almost always puts out gold. I wonder where they hire these guys?

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Female 215
So many people complain about kids running around in places they`re not supposed to run in that I`m always surprised by the number of people complaining about parents who actually try to do something about it. Sure a leash might be heavy stuff and looks ridiculous, but I`ve seen ones you just tie on each other`s wrist. Kids don`t always want to hold hands.
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Male 10
AGit "The baby mop seems fine, providing they give you the handle too"

I dont want to know where the "Handle" goes.

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Female 88
"This product, previously named My First Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Trainer , appears to be primarily designed to protect the baby`s head in the event of shark attack. "

aaaaahahhaahahhahaha....
but....whats it actually meant to do?>

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Female 15,763
xD The daddle looks like some sex play toy...
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Male 1,853
not pictured: uncle`s little friend.
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Male 3,255
"Despite what metal purists think, Metallica Lullabies is not a box set of everything they`ve released after "..And Justice For All"."

rofl!

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Female 1,002
"Even stranger, the perfumes come in a series of food-flavored scents such as marshmallow, pear, almond, citrus and raspberry..."
I wouldn`t mind smelling like a marshmallow or fruit.
"Thudguard" Helmet, perfect for over protective parents by the look of it.
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Female 2,258
I actually included the pee-pee tee-pee in a gift basket for a cousin`s baby shower because she was having a boy. It might be weird but it`s better than pee in your face.
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Male 89
No problem ilovemOnkey.
Some people will make anything as long as some idiot with money will buy it.
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Male 426
your babies junk
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Male 1,244
I dont ever want to read the words "your babies junk" ever again
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Female 338
jhendrix - thanks... I can`t believe it. Why is this real?

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Male 7,933
"that leash is really useful especially with special needs kids"

I`ve seen them on kids that aren`t special need. Its hilarious

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Male 375
Ewww, manual snot sucker?
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Male 124
"it`s a festive party hat for your baby`s junk!"
that made me LOL.
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Male 1,766
that leash is really useful especially with special needs kids
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Male 995
The baby mop seems fine, providing they give you the handle too
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Male 40
If a baby had the hamburger costume on I bet some fat guy would try to take a bite out of it.
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Male 89
ilovemOnkey, it was a skit on SNL, but it is a real product.
http://www.babytoupee.com/
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Female 4,225
Some of tose were old.

But the rest that I have not seen...whoah

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Female 310
haha the man boobs crack me up and the leash isn new people have been using those for a while my sister had a leash casue she would get lost
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Female 338
Ok, the baby wigs was a fake ad on SNL.


NOT REAL.


Where do they get their facts...?

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Male 518
That underwater neck ring really doesn`t look safe.
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Male 2,395
I want the bucktooth pacifier.. >_>
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Male 1,265
Might as well just have a big link to cracked.com next to the i-a-b logo at the top right?
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Male 264
Link: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants [Rate Link] - Diapers and milk. Anything else is excessive ... and creepy.
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