20 Retarded Newspaper Headlines

Submitted by: BrokenJohn 8 years ago Funny
http://www.oddee.com/item_96156.aspx

""One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers.""
There are 61 comments:
Female 388
"I wouldn`t do it again. She`s been a pain this week"
LOL omg XD why the heck would they put that in a newspaper? -______-
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Female 17
haha its a tough one which is the best.....they`re all pretty funny
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Female 55
hahaha some newspaper writers have absolutely no common sense
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Female 1,231
My favorite one was Tiger Woods playing with his balls. Does he play with his own tee, too? XP
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Male 762
Lmao that dog lookalike contest , epic!
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Male 312
LOL. Raids gun shop, finds wepons i lold so hard
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Female 1,002
"Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons"
Wtf man? xD
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Female 4,225
That was lolz. The abreivated one was the best
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Male 1,114
I could`ve sworn i posted this....
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Male 3,296
i didnt get the acronym one someone explain
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Male 20
those are worse then the daily mail.....
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Male 90
Thats one ugly dog right there!
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Male 36
that was really good u should check out the other stuff there 2
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Male 206
Haha the one about the one-armed guy was from the my hometown paper, the Tulsa World. I know that because the writer is Jay Cronley, a column writer in the local section of the paper. He writes some pretty good stuff, actually.

Funny thing is, I worked for the same newspaper for a few months. It was one of the best jobs I ever had.

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Female 429
oddee never loads on my pc ¬_¬
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Female 15,763
How to know Journalism might not be your career...
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Male 20
Not just sue himself, but ACCIDENTALLY sues himself??

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Male 342
Can anyone explain how that lawyer guy managed to sue himself?
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Male 294
Loved the Tiger Woods one. LOOOOOVED IT.
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Female 377
It`s especially weird because for the dog look alike one, the pictures aren`t exactly the same. o.o
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Female 173
Those were hilarious xP.

Actually laughed out loud with some of these.

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Female 1,566
The artists drawing was /hilarious/. xD
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Female 36
the very first one "alton attorney accidentally sues himself" is from my hometown.... i feel very ashamed.
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Female 1,070
wow... just... wow lol
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Female 2,196
haha a lot of those made me laugh
I`m surprised those people didn`t notice what they were writing
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Female 169
LMAO!!!
but you have to admit the last one was kinda mean


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Male 1,141
" We had no idea anyone was buried there" haha
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Female 67
I thought the "17 remain dead in morgue shooting: headline would have made it in there. guess not.
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Male 177
sorry, it was my M551 Sheridan, i was thinking of my M1A1 Abrams I lost at sea while i was surfing on it.
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Male 177
"Australian Army vehicle worth $74,000 lost after being painted with camoflauge." That happened to me once, except it was with my M1A1 Sheridan Military scout Tank,in the winter, I had it painted white so it wouldn`t stand out. When i arrived, they said it was parked out front, I went to look and all I saw was a big pile of snow! The nerve of some people. >:(
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Female 4,028
Oh, wow....
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Female 1,186
can anyone say paradox?
lawlz
i just wanted to put that there cuz it`s a funny word
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Male 1,584
Typhoon rips through cemetery, hundreds dead
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Male 4,012
Please tell me the newspaper editor for the one with the artist`s concept of the high school has been fired.
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Female 432
i guess that`s what happens when you just can`t seem to find the right words lmao
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Male 954
Police begin campaign to run down on jaywalkers.

That is still my favorite Headline.

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Male 180
my friend can clap with no hands.


ill give youa hint. balls.

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Male 405
teen pregnacny drops after age of 25, who knew taht when ur not a teen u cant have a teen pregnancy
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Male 475
"One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers."

my friend can clap with one hand its hilarious

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Female 154
Great. I liked the teen pregnancy one :3
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Female 1,287
burritosb said:

"My personal fav was: "This is an artist`s conception of the Mount Pleasant High School football field Friday after an electrical transformer blew, knocking out the stadium lights.""

took the words right out of my mouth.

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Female 25
Lmao they were all great
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Male 2,395
Those are more retarded than Peter Griffin. >_>
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Male 904
lol at the police sketch and at "federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons" LOL
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Female 562
These make you wonder what people were thinking. How could they not notice when they write stuff like this?
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Male 606
"I would like to see the artist conception of Tiger Woods playing with his own balls"

im guessing it would be another black box

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Female 65
My personal fav was: "This is an artist`s conception of the Mount Pleasant High School football field Friday after an electrical transformer blew, knocking out the stadium lights."

Just a whole lot of wasted ink! Halarious!

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Female 532
Haha...good advice on the poison one. And here I was just about to down a bottle of cyanide.
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Male 7,933
I would like to see the artist conception of Tiger Woods playing with his own balls.
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Female 993
haha, I liked the police composite...and pretty much all of them. Good post.
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Male 290
some people dont deserve life :P
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Male 418
that was great...I haven`t laughed that hard in a while.
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Male 3,301
Haha, epic win.
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Female 731
Wow, that guy and his dog look EXACTLY alike! :O
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Male 435
Holy Cr@p U Ppl Are Fast Today, Was Funny
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Female 657
hee hee. funny.
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Male 615
"DOE to do NEPA`s EIS on BNFL`s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests"

Didn`t think to type it before. Meh.

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Male 788
hahaha good stuffs
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Male 615
The one with all the acronyms made me laugh so hard.
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Female 678
a lot of these where on leno at some point. still good tho
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Male 464
Link: 20 Retarded Newspaper Headlines [Rate Link] - ``One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers.``
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