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61 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 31107
Rating: 4.1
Category: Funny
Date: 06/20/08 06:03 PM

61 Responses to 20 Retarded Newspaper Headlines

  1. Profile photo of BrokenJohn
    BrokenJohn Male 18-29
    464 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 5:03 pm
    Link: 20 Retarded Newspaper Headlines - ``One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers.``
  2. Profile photo of SilentFray
    SilentFray Female 18-29
    678 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:09 pm
    a lot of these where on leno at some point. still good tho
  3. Profile photo of Phydeaux13
    Phydeaux13 Male 13-17
    616 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:09 pm
    The one with all the acronyms made me laugh so hard.
  4. Profile photo of DeeCache
    DeeCache Male 18-29
    788 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:10 pm
    hahaha good stuffs
  5. Profile photo of Phydeaux13
    Phydeaux13 Male 13-17
    616 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:11 pm
    "DOE to do NEPA`s EIS on BNFL`s AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protests"

    Didn`t think to type it before. Meh.

  6. Profile photo of ThursdayLark
    ThursdayLark Female 18-29
    657 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:12 pm
    hee hee. funny.
  7. Profile photo of demonclown
    demonclown Male 18-29
    435 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:14 pm
    Holy [email protected] U Ppl Are Fast Today, Was Funny
  8. Profile photo of Kay62442
    Kay62442 Female 13-17
    731 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:14 pm
    Wow, that guy and his dog look EXACTLY alike! :O
  9. Profile photo of LoofahBoy
    LoofahBoy Male 18-29
    3301 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:15 pm
    Haha, epic win.
  10. Profile photo of NeiltheSheep
    NeiltheSheep Male 18-29
    418 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:17 pm
    that was great...I haven`t laughed that hard in a while.
  11. Profile photo of IceCAPPED
    IceCAPPED Male 13-17
    290 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:19 pm
    some people dont deserve life :P
  12. Profile photo of JazzyPiano
    JazzyPiano Female 18-29
    993 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:20 pm
    haha, I liked the police composite...and pretty much all of them. Good post.
  13. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7935 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:21 pm
    I would like to see the artist conception of Tiger Woods playing with his own balls.
  14. Profile photo of Aqua_Bird
    Aqua_Bird Female 13-17
    532 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:22 pm
    Haha...good advice on the poison one. And here I was just about to down a bottle of cyanide.
  15. Profile photo of burritosb
    burritosb Female 30-39
    65 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:28 pm
    My personal fav was: "This is an artist`s conception of the Mount Pleasant High School football field Friday after an electrical transformer blew, knocking out the stadium lights."

    Just a whole lot of wasted ink! Halarious!

  16. Profile photo of iAMzach
    iAMzach Male 18-29
    606 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:33 pm
    "I would like to see the artist conception of Tiger Woods playing with his own balls"

    im guessing it would be another black box

  17. Profile photo of razzzledazzl
    razzzledazzl Female 13-17
    563 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:34 pm
    These make you wonder what people were thinking. How could they not notice when they write stuff like this?
  18. Profile photo of maceizballin
    maceizballin Male 13-17
    904 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:34 pm
    lol at the police sketch and at "federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons" LOL
  19. Profile photo of luckyse7en
    luckyse7en Male 13-17
    2397 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:37 pm
    Those are more retarded than Peter Griffin. >_>
  20. Profile photo of ThaVanillaBe
    ThaVanillaBe Female 13-17
    25 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:40 pm
    Lmao they were all great
  21. Profile photo of MYCHEMGIRL
    MYCHEMGIRL Female 13-17
    1287 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:40 pm
    burritosb said:

    "My personal fav was: "This is an artist`s conception of the Mount Pleasant High School football field Friday after an electrical transformer blew, knocking out the stadium lights.""

    took the words right out of my mouth.

  22. Profile photo of Jadesy
    Jadesy Female 18-29
    154 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:41 pm
    Great. I liked the teen pregnancy one :3
  23. Profile photo of tommy419
    tommy419 Male 13-17
    475 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:43 pm
    "One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers."

    my friend can clap with one hand its hilarious

  24. Profile photo of TruJuggalo
    TruJuggalo Male 18-29
    405 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:48 pm
    teen pregnacny drops after age of 25, who knew taht when ur not a teen u cant have a teen pregnancy
  25. Profile photo of shishkabob
    shishkabob Male 13-17
    180 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:49 pm
    my friend can clap with no hands.


    ill give youa hint. balls.

  26. Profile photo of Dylan5121
    Dylan5121 Male 13-17
    954 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:52 pm
    Police begin campaign to run down on jaywalkers.

    That is still my favorite Headline.

  27. Profile photo of kimberly163
    kimberly163 Female 18-29
    432 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:53 pm
    i guess that`s what happens when you just can`t seem to find the right words lmao
  28. Profile photo of Pabasa
    Pabasa Male 18-29
    4012 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:54 pm
    Please tell me the newspaper editor for the one with the artist`s concept of the high school has been fired.
  29. Profile photo of CaptainPat
    CaptainPat Male 18-29
    1584 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 6:55 pm
    Typhoon rips through cemetery, hundreds dead
  30. Profile photo of Gerbear
    Gerbear Female 18-29
    1186 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 7:16 pm
    can anyone say paradox?
    lawlz
    i just wanted to put that there cuz it`s a funny word
  31. Profile photo of dragonshadoz
    dragonshadoz Female 18-29
    4031 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 7:21 pm
    Oh, wow....
  32. Profile photo of SyXxlunatic
    SyXxlunatic Male 13-17
    177 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 7:37 pm
    "Australian Army vehicle worth $74,000 lost after being painted with camoflauge." That happened to me once, except it was with my M1A1 Sheridan Military scout Tank,in the winter, I had it painted white so it wouldn`t stand out. When i arrived, they said it was parked out front, I went to look and all I saw was a big pile of snow! The nerve of some people. >:(
  33. Profile photo of SyXxlunatic
    SyXxlunatic Male 13-17
    177 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 7:40 pm
    sorry, it was my M551 Sheridan, i was thinking of my M1A1 Abrams I lost at sea while i was surfing on it.
  34. Profile photo of SpamSpeaking
    SpamSpeaking Female 18-29
    67 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 8:37 pm
    I thought the "17 remain dead in morgue shooting: headline would have made it in there. guess not.
  35. Profile photo of NOFX14
    NOFX14 Male 18-29
    1141 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 8:51 pm
    " We had no idea anyone was buried there" haha
  36. Profile photo of xXsi666Xx
    xXsi666Xx Female 13-17
    169 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 9:17 pm
    LMAO!!!
    but you have to admit the last one was kinda mean


  37. Profile photo of CheesyQueso
    CheesyQueso Female 18-29
    2196 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 10:11 pm
    haha a lot of those made me laugh
    I`m surprised those people didn`t notice what they were writing
  38. Profile photo of DrkAng3LxNat
    DrkAng3LxNat Female 18-29
    1071 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 10:14 pm
    wow... just... wow lol
  39. Profile photo of mone88125
    mone88125 Female 18-29
    36 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 10:40 pm
    the very first one "alton attorney accidentally sues himself" is from my hometown.... i feel very ashamed.
  40. Profile photo of leesah
    leesah Female 18-29
    1566 posts
    June 20, 2008 at 11:24 pm
    The artists drawing was /hilarious/. xD
  41. Profile photo of chary
    chary Female 13-17
    173 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 12:10 am
    Those were hilarious xP.

    Actually laughed out loud with some of these.

  42. Profile photo of adilicious
    adilicious Female 13-17
    377 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 12:43 am
    It`s especially weird because for the dog look alike one, the pictures aren`t exactly the same. o.o
  43. Profile photo of handsomefag
    handsomefag Male 18-29
    294 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 12:44 am
    Loved the Tiger Woods one. LOOOOOVED IT.
  44. Profile photo of yen223
    yen223 Male 18-29
    342 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 1:24 am
    Can anyone explain how that lawyer guy managed to sue himself?
  45. Profile photo of Rektard
    Rektard Male 18-29
    20 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 2:25 am
    Not just sue himself, but ACCIDENTALLY sues himself??

  46. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15774 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 3:07 am
    How to know Journalism might not be your career...
  47. Profile photo of sheeeeps
    sheeeeps Female 13-17
    429 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 6:30 am
    oddee never loads on my pc ¬_¬
  48. Profile photo of oumaverick
    oumaverick Male 18-29
    206 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 6:39 am
    Haha the one about the one-armed guy was from the my hometown paper, the Tulsa World. I know that because the writer is Jay Cronley, a column writer in the local section of the paper. He writes some pretty good stuff, actually.

    Funny thing is, I worked for the same newspaper for a few months. It was one of the best jobs I ever had.

  49. Profile photo of agent666
    agent666 Male 13-17
    36 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 6:47 am
    that was really good u should check out the other stuff there 2
  50. Profile photo of nokirarr
    nokirarr Male 13-17
    90 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 7:52 am
    Thats one ugly dog right there!
  51. Profile photo of TonyBlairPM
    TonyBlairPM Male 50-59
    20 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 8:55 am
    those are worse then the daily mail.....
  52. Profile photo of Tonyjet
    Tonyjet Male 18-29
    3298 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 12:10 pm
    i didnt get the acronym one someone explain
  53. Profile photo of modernbenoni
    modernbenoni Male 70 & Over
    1114 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 12:41 pm
    I could`ve sworn i posted this....
  54. Profile photo of Turnshroud
    Turnshroud Female 18-29
    4225 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 12:52 pm
    That was lolz. The abreivated one was the best
  55. Profile photo of eleutherarch
    eleutherarch Female 13-17
    1002 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 1:17 pm
    "Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons"
    Wtf man? xD
  56. Profile photo of Supersyko
    Supersyko Male 18-29
    314 posts
    June 21, 2008 at 5:13 pm
    LOL. Raids gun shop, finds wepons i lold so hard
  57. Profile photo of SwissNipsUK
    SwissNipsUK Male 18-29
    763 posts
    June 22, 2008 at 6:39 am
    Lmao that dog lookalike contest , epic!
  58. Profile photo of firefliet
    firefliet Female 18-29
    1232 posts
    June 22, 2008 at 7:52 pm
    My favorite one was Tiger Woods playing with his balls. Does he play with his own tee, too? XP
  59. Profile photo of emily1494
    emily1494 Female 18-29
    55 posts
    June 22, 2008 at 10:04 pm
    hahaha some newspaper writers have absolutely no common sense
  60. Profile photo of iab_regular
    iab_regular Female 13-17
    17 posts
    June 23, 2008 at 7:31 am
    haha its a tough one which is the best.....they`re all pretty funny
  61. Profile photo of PopsySoku
    PopsySoku Female 18-29
    388 posts
    June 25, 2008 at 9:14 am
    "I wouldn`t do it again. She`s been a pain this week"
    LOL omg XD why the heck would they put that in a newspaper? -______-

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