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Category: Funny
Date: 06/27/08 06:30 PM

51 Responses to 15 Absurd Police Reports

  1. Profile photo of sfeagles
    sfeagles Male 13-17
    216 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 4:18 pm
    Link: 15 Absurd Police Reports - Straight off the desk`s of police blotters. More proof that civilization will die out sooner than later.
  2. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7936 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 6:37 pm
    Never liked civilization.
    And who the hell names their cat help?
  3. Profile photo of krembill
    krembill Male 18-29
    1094 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 6:39 pm
    `the duck refused medical help` hhahahahahahhaahahahahahah
  4. Profile photo of Skullgrabber
    Skullgrabber Male 13-17
    44 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 6:40 pm
    repost?
  5. Profile photo of Skullgrabber
    Skullgrabber Male 13-17
    44 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 6:41 pm
    ^ maybe not :P
  6. Profile photo of xiquiripat
    xiquiripat Male 18-29
    2423 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 6:42 pm
    Lol those were classic!
  7. Profile photo of CaptainPat
    CaptainPat Male 18-29
    1586 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 6:42 pm
    haha i loved those
    i saw the burrito one before but all the others were new to me.
    also, the one about the vag cream in eckerd`s this is random, but all the eckerd`s where i lived got turned into RiteAids, did that happen to anyone else?
  8. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7936 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 6:49 pm
    ^^^^^
    Not a single RiteAid by my house. All eckerds were changes to CVS
  9. Profile photo of LoofahBoy
    LoofahBoy Male 18-29
    3302 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 6:50 pm

    You can`t make this poo up. Talk about some seriously good Acid...

  10. Profile photo of Seak
    Seak Male 18-29
    1505 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 6:51 pm
    Made me laugh quite hard.
  11. Profile photo of FairySpirit
    FairySpirit Female 13-17
    16 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 6:59 pm
    lol that was great. A Cat named Help?? Weird.
  12. Profile photo of subzeroblue2
    subzeroblue2 Female 18-29
    204 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 7:15 pm
    Something similair to the Arnold Schwarzenegger one happened around here, except it was a cutout of homer simpson. dumb kids.
  13. Profile photo of Ani187
    Ani187 Female 30-39
    4448 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 7:21 pm
    And the report directly below the Arnold cutout starts out "3:18 PM A kitten on Shaw Drive apparently has `rectum..." The last word is cut off. Oddly, I`m curious as to what it is exactly that the cat has and why it ended up in the police blotter.
  14. Profile photo of sunshine_
    sunshine_ Female 18-29
    4 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 7:33 pm
    these made me lol
  15. Profile photo of lava_tomato
    lava_tomato Female 13-17
    169 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 7:40 pm
    I wish I had an Ahnuld cutout..
  16. Profile photo of Weiss
    Weiss Male 18-29
    42 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 7:40 pm
    wow.. where can I get a cardboard cutout of Arnold??? I`d just love to try that one.. oh man.. cardboard.. heh... cardboard.. mann...
  17. Profile photo of iluv2paclgo
    iluv2paclgo Female 18-29
    40 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 8:00 pm
    LMAO hahahahhahahah those were funny
  18. Profile photo of Roduku
    Roduku Male 50-59
    451 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 8:00 pm
    police: "Marco"
    burglar: "Polo...DOH!"
    hahahaha
  19. Profile photo of marencolleen
    marencolleen Female 18-29
    533 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 8:31 pm
    poor puppy :(
  20. Profile photo of TeHrussian
    TeHrussian Male 18-29
    490 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 8:45 pm
    Vaginal anti-fungal cream should be made more affordable for the good of our society as a whole!

  21. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7936 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 8:59 pm
    ^^^^Is that each one?
  22. Profile photo of Mouichi
    Mouichi Male 18-29
    637 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 9:38 pm
    Eighteen months?! He`s either really slow, or really guilty. I laughed at the pot-pie one the most... Also, whoever it was who was talking about the Kitty rectum, if you look closely, you can tell the last, and final word is `problems`. So the report just said that a random kitten has rectal issues.
  23. Profile photo of qwaszxjz
    qwaszxjz Male 13-17
    42 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 9:40 pm
    LOL getting a condom thrown at you by a random guy...
  24. Profile photo of romboy
    romboy Male 18-29
    221 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 9:54 pm
    qwaszxjz: Thats not all that unusual. In fact it happened all the time in my dorm room when I would leave the door open. People would randomly throw condoms on my couch. Turns out the RAs found a box of 2000 condoms that were still good so they decided to give them to people
  25. Profile photo of Yorgler
    Yorgler Male 13-17
    195 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 10:01 pm
    hahaha this was hilarious! "the ducks refused medical treatment" and "man in diaper directs traffic"
  26. Profile photo of nirvana_kid
    nirvana_kid Female 18-29
    526 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 10:05 pm
    "Police receive a report of a newborn infant found in a trash can. Upon investigation, officers discover it was only a burrito."


    i dont think i have ever laughed that hard.

  27. Profile photo of nirvana_kid
    nirvana_kid Female 18-29
    526 posts
    June 27, 2008 at 10:05 pm
    AHHH 666 imunna dieeee but its okay now
  28. Profile photo of no_need
    no_need Female 18-29
    467 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 2:20 am
    Where have I seen these before? Someone help me out, it`s annoying me.
  29. Profile photo of staberind
    staberind Female 18-29
    731 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 4:48 am
    bravo, who was that strange man
    and why am i naked, and why is my dog dead?
  30. Profile photo of green_wrath
    green_wrath Male 18-29
    498 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 5:44 am
    Ahhh wheres ma burito baby?!?!!?
  31. Profile photo of jxl180
    jxl180 Male 18-29
    93 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 7:10 am
    Straight off of leno. Even the comments
  32. Profile photo of WHOISIT12345
    WHOISIT12345 Male 18-29
    4397 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 7:27 am
    Police receive a report of a newborn infant found in a trash can. Upon investigation, officers discover it was only a burrito

    lolz

  33. Profile photo of Hunter421
    Hunter421 Male 13-17
    16 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 7:45 am
    I heard about the Marco, Polo one on the radio. I laughed so hard I almost pissed myself.
  34. Profile photo of domisgood
    domisgood Male 18-29
    4868 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 8:24 am
    thats some funny poo
    how do u kill someone legally?...
  35. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11742 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 8:44 am
    "Dispatch, report of Swanson chicken pot-pie running east on Clay Street"

    That had me laughing, there were other good ones too.

  36. Profile photo of Sean162
    Sean162 Male 13-17
    58 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 8:53 am
    That`s got to be one of the funniest things I`ve ever seen.

    "Dispatch, report of Swanson chicken pot-pie running east on Clay Street"

  37. Profile photo of Sean162
    Sean162 Male 13-17
    58 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 8:57 am
    Domisgood, I have that same poster on my bedroom door.
  38. Profile photo of Sean162
    Sean162 Male 13-17
    58 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 8:59 am
    That`s got to be one of the funniest things I`ve ever seen.

    "Dispatch, report of Swanson chicken pot-pie running east on Clay Street"

  39. Profile photo of luckyse7en
    luckyse7en Male 13-17
    2400 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 9:03 am
    Those were funny!! I`d consider naming my Dog "Help" now.
  40. Profile photo of eleutherarch
    eleutherarch Female 13-17
    1003 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 11:06 am
    "Two man came into the store, loaded birthday bags with "Have a nice day" yellow faces on them with 52 tubes of vaginal anti-fungal cream..."

    o_o

  41. Profile photo of Turnshroud
    Turnshroud Female 18-29
    4230 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 12:00 pm
    ahg, already read, funny stuff
  42. Profile photo of Destruction
    Destruction Female 13-17
    22 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 12:11 pm
    the one about the man in the diaper inspired me....if only we could all be that ignorant.
  43. Profile photo of NYAAN
    NYAAN Female 13-17
    316 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 12:59 pm
    the marco polo thing should really be standard procedure when performing searches
  44. Profile photo of Unbelivable
    Unbelivable Male 13-17
    12 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 1:13 pm
    LOL "the man fed his dog some mushrooms and the dog later died" talk about some epic acid.

    also if i was in the burglars shoes i totaly couldent resist saying polo LOL.

  45. Profile photo of lagatitamala
    lagatitamala Female 18-29
    194 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 4:14 pm
    lol.....the guy was filmed masturbating and his dog was fed mushrooms and died......it was gross that a victim had a used condom thrown in his face....
  46. Profile photo of unintrasting
    unintrasting Female 18-29
    1121 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 4:40 pm
    now, why didn`t i think of holding up a convenience store with some snowballs..
  47. Profile photo of Phydeaux13
    Phydeaux13 Male 13-17
    616 posts
    June 28, 2008 at 4:42 pm
    I loled at the whole thing about the guy masturbating. He films him then feeds his dog mushrooms... Just wow xD
  48. Profile photo of Papapimpin
    Papapimpin Male 18-29
    528 posts
    June 29, 2008 at 4:41 pm
    LMAO @ the breaking and entering voyeuristic porn director who loves to OD dogs on magic mushrooms.
  49. Profile photo of Papapimpin
    Papapimpin Male 18-29
    528 posts
    June 29, 2008 at 4:42 pm
    Also, to all yall who seem confused, mushrooms and acid are two totally different things.
  50. Profile photo of klkl
    klkl Male 13-17
    1726 posts
    June 30, 2008 at 9:00 am
    thats gotta be a good report.
    yeah, my wife is missing.
    ok sir, how long has she been missing for?
    oh you know...about 18 months XD
  51. Profile photo of citadel
    citadel Male 18-29
    486 posts
    July 1, 2008 at 11:02 pm
    seriously i must ask is americas head up its arse? seriously could we be any stupider land of the free and land of the morons seriously it sickens me

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