Missing Child Likely a Prostitute By Now

Submitted by: Bekll 9 years ago in Entertainment
/media/25032_MissingChildLikelyaProstituteByNow.flv
Today Now! uses computer technology to show a mother how rampant drug use and sex has ravaged her little girl"s body.
Credits: the onion
There are 103 comments:
Female 164
I feel bad, but I`m laughing.
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Female 194
what the lol....thats terrible is that report even real...the mom just looks sick of it and how could he know that poo anyway lol
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Female 6
bullpoo > Sitting there and making suggestions tham most definately made the mother sick
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Female 66
friggen jeez yo... the chick who played the mom was makin me crack up...
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Female 64
Oh, that made my heart sick! What kind of world do we live in that lost and scared children are something to laugh at? Some people are kind of sick.
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Female 2,695
lmao
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Female 364
hehehe i love the Onion
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Male 308
michaelcsr:

Yeah. They had me at first until he said she wouldn`t have gotten help too. You gotta love The Onion.

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Male 374
Oh thank god. I thought that was real.

"Now is that a bruise from her pimp?"

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Male 36
they just made fun of her or made assumsions without truly knowing if she was on drugs or was overweight. you cant just assume that happened plus it really looked like they made fun of her. man this is one more reason i hate humanity
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Female 943
april fools joke.
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Male 420
hilarious
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Male 36
I`d hit it....:)
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Female 464
Lol Fail :3 I thought this was the onion! XD
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Male 112
I love the onion
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Male 30
lol as soon as i saw the forensics guy i was like "fake video or mafia don in disguise?" and then i saw The Onion lol
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Female 250
Wow. I`d never heard of The Onion before.
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Male 1,079
>.>

ehhh...

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Male 438
wow that was so fake
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Male 77
I thought it would be fake from reading the title, but just the way they delivered it and watching the mother`s eyes... morbidly hilarious.

And did anyone else notice that when they asked what she looked like today, the computer readout showed the current date as April 1, 2008?

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Female 77
omg! i didn`t know the onion had videos! sweet!!!
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Female 360
I found it very funny. The mother looked mortified!
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Female 1,697
Not funny
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Male 10,440
I forgot that these guys aren`t real, and I was going along with it until i saw the first pic. Funny stuff.
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Female 7
oh darn, I meant to type "too" instead of "to" in the first sentence. *Slap on the wrist*
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Female 7
I`m not to familiar with the Onion`s antics so at first I was believing this, that is until the first age progression showed up. However, when they progressed her to the point she was wearing the Brown`s jersey, I began to wonder if perhaps, maybe this was a real newscast. Ha ha, go Steelers!
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Female 652
lmao omg how horrible
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Male 240
Jesus christ, that was hilarious. They made up a back story for her and everything! So now, if they were wrong about one thing, no one will recognise her. Honey we`re killing the kids do9ne a MUCH better job of the whole aging process thing, that was pooe. "The sad look in her eyes".
Gimme a break. No chance she`ll be found now, poor girl.
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Female 66
Hey I`m right outside Cleveland. . . and I know her! Haven`t seen the baby though. Oh, and she`s back on the drugs only this time it`s pot so she`s a little heavier.
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Male 593
I think the forensics dud really had a grudge against the mum because did you see how he made the image of her daughter look even WORSE when the mother said `Oh no she`d probably have gone to someones house for help` what a f*cker.
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Male 995
No, no, her pimp would have cut off her supply... brilliant!
Even more seeing that others fall for it, if only for a min or two :)
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Male 815
haha excatly

and the video was pretty funny

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Female 380
"First: It`s the Onion, you morons. Of course it`s fake/satire.
Second: IAB NEEDS TO STOP RIPPING OFF OTHER SITE`S WORK!!! theOnion.com provides embed codes for their videos. USE THEM. I absolutely HATE IAB when they pull crap like this.

IAB: Stop stealing other site`s original material, putting it in your crappy flash-player, and profiting off of the result. Either that or don`t bitch when, one of these days, you get your butt sued for copyright infringement. You`ll deserve it and I`ll shed not a tear."

Dude, are you being for real right now? really?
I say that your mom put too much starch in your drawers again and that you need to go to ANOTHER SITE! DUH ITS BEEN COPIED BUT CREDIT WAS GIVIN TO THE RIGHTFUL PEOPLE! If you were paying attention on hear you would know that EVERYTHING ON HEAR IS COPIED FROM SOMEPLACE ELSE!
man, I hate stupid people.They make great videos but need to stay off the web and not pay hardcore with their keybords.

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Female 837
jmk4422, did you not notice the nice little credit there, under the "crappy flash player" that said "The Onion"?

You`re not going to get slapped with a copyright infringement suit if you give credit where credit is due.

I honestly thought it was real at first too, but when it started getting ridiculous, I realized otherwise.

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Male 48
What a dump, pathetic and moralising bullpoo!
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Female 465
if i actually ran into any of those computer image girls, i wouldn`t be calling 1-800-FIND-HER... i`d be running for the hills @.@
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Female 4,197
I dont pay attention to numbers lol
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Male 1,231
yeah, no one else notice the date-1st April?
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Female 4,197
I thought it was real... I had my speakers on low and could just hear the reporters, so I`m thinking to myself "that`s damn harsh to show the mum that!" By the end I was like WTF?!

And jmk4422...First: Don`t assume I am a moron. wtf is "the onion"? Is it an american thing? An internet thing? Whatever it is I`ve never heard of it, so I am not a moron so neh lol

second: IAB uses videos and stuff from other websites... it provides us less boredom by collecting amusing and different stuff from ALL OVER the internet. You didn`t know that?

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Female 35
Starfirerob - it`s a satirical video. Not really all that funny, but The Onion is a comedy site.

That means it`s not real.

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Male 322
Ok..it got me..damn it
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Male 32
Lulz, the Onion kicks ass
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Female 5
what the hell was that??so she is missing n thats how they think her life is like?? dat was so dumb. there are so many other possible things that could happen to her.good or bad
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Male 274
that is just terrible. not funny and too far. epic fail!
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Male 292
that was quite funny
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Female 859
haha that was funny!

"is the bruise from her pimp"
xD

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Female 795
april 1st 2008, horrible
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Female 1,264
the onion news network logo was a dead give away
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Male 9,306
Oh man...that`s so...wrong! XD I can`t help laughing.
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Female 250
the wtf of the day
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Male 134
First: It`s the Onion, you morons. Of course it`s fake/satire.

Second: IAB NEEDS TO STOP RIPPING OFF OTHER SITE`S WORK!!! theOnion.com provides embed codes for their videos. USE THEM. I absolutely HATE IAB when they pull crap like this.

IAB: Stop stealing other site`s original material, putting it in your crappy flash-player, and profiting off of the result. Either that or don`t bitch when, one of these days, you get your butt sued for copyright infringement. You`ll deserve it and I`ll shed not a tear.

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Male 266
DURHUR YOU GUYS SURE ARE SOME AMAZING SLEUTHS.

...Christ.

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Male 608
OWNED!
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Female 226
Oh wow, I actually thought that was real until it got to the third picture, lol. (Hell, I didn`t know.) Funny though! :)
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Female 2,196
that made me chuckle =D
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Female 5
Fake as hell, but I like it =D
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Female 920
haha thats funny
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Female 121
its like the day today and brass eye
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Female 876
That made me lol
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Male 64
"Please call us here at The Onion News Network."
Duh.

How did nobody pick up on that? 0_o

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Male 166
WILL YOU PLEASE STOP CATEGORIZING THE ONION AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN COMEDY? THE MISLEADING CRAP IS GETTING ANNOYING!
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Female 657
I didn`t even know what The Onion was so I thought this was real until I saw the message boards. x_x
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Female 1,426
I love The Onion!
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Female 444
If you look close, you can see "Onion" in the very beginning, before the logo. Kinda hard to see, but that`s the first time they mention it.

Not that funny, but the onion`s stuff is often hit or miss.

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Female 110
Wow... I actually thought that was real for a few minutes!!!

Freakin` funny... Until the pimp comment... Eww.

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Female 317
I thought it was real until I heard the word `onion`.
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Female 850
I like the pimp slap bruise! :-D
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Male 580
Onion is good sometimes...not this time.
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Male 807
I don`t care what anyone says, this is better than the real news.
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Male 254
raging, its a fake.
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Male 543
drating hilarious/
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Male 252
Obviously fake if anyones still wondering. And not really that funny either.
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Male 418
Haha, i thought it was real until the second picture and then i saw the Today Now logo... hahaha nice job onion
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Female 150
If anyone STILL thinks that this might be real, notice the Onion logos on the tv screen in the background.
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Female 70
Obviously fake...and pretty mean too. Not funny by my standards.

But it`s good that she`s off the drugs.

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Male 1,837
lol fake or not, thats no prostitute i would get in bed with. not that i would with any >.> but u know what i mean =3
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Female 23
The `mother`s` expression while this went on was the best part...
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Male 730
rofl! I was sucked in for a sec! totally sicko, but funny!
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Female 8
*sad face*
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Male 1,404
Nice! That was better then most of The Onions work.
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Female 665
that`s good that she`s off the drugs!
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Female 744
Oh man, that poo was so cash.
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Female 192
I am NOT a fan of the Onion at all.
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Female 89
lol I thought tanya would be black
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Female 1,984
I agree wwjrmd, it`s funny that people still get tricked by it. That`s the genius of it. *laughs*
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Female 21
lol you guys chill out. it`s satire. like daily show and colbert report. today now is not a real show. it`s just funny satire or morning shows. haha you losers are so gullible. NOW that`s the funny part
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Female 1,190
im so glad that wasnt real 0_0 can you imagine being that mom if it was,jeez
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Female 4,447
The Onion is satirical, and not really that funny, at least not to me.
For those of you who don`t get it:
If it`s from The Onion, IT`S FAKE.
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Female 204
*date
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Female 204
i was almost sucked in...
if you notice in the photo of her today, the dat is 1st of April...dead givaway there
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Male 1,584
i thought it was real up untill i saw the first digitally aged picture..
i got a little suspicious when i saw how fake the stuff in the aging screen looked, and the "loading" thing
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Female 1,984
Note: The Onion is all about satire.
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Female 2,674
Raging, its fake... my god.
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Female 2,674
I was kinda iffy if it was real until the woman was like "is the bruise from her pimp?" and I was just like "bah -_-"
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Female 10
Am i the only one who thought that was absolutely awful? I mean, they jumped an awful lot of conclusions there, and it was a bit harsh imo to show the mother that...
Is all american TV like that, or just today now?
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Male 559
It almost had me. Up until the dude said it was unlikly she would find help. Then I knew this was bullpoo.
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Female 380
I hate the Onion... It seems so real sometimes... BTW, nasty.
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Male 312
DUDE_WTF
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Female 1,065
They did a pretty accurate job. I think.

On another note:
The hell is wrong with the hostess`s eyebrows?

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Male 548
ehh, fail imo
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Male 256
heh, dumb.
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Female 40
ookay... that was... odd.
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Female 1,984
Link: Missing Child Likely a Prostitute By Now [Rate Link] - Today Now! uses computer technology to show a mother how rampant drug use and sex has ravaged her little girl`s body.
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