The best in arts & entertainment, news, pop culture, and your mom since 2002.

[Total: 124    Average: 3.6/5]
103 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 27160
Rating: 3.6
Category: Entertainment
Date: 05/08/08 05:04 PM

103 Responses to Missing Child Likely a Prostitute By Now

  1. Profile photo of Bekll
    Bekll Female 18-29
    1984 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 3:56 pm
    Link: Missing Child Likely a Prostitute By Now - Today Now! uses computer technology to show a mother how rampant drug use and sex has ravaged her little girl`s body.
  2. Profile photo of oxfl1pfl0pxo
    oxfl1pfl0pxo Female 13-17
    40 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:07 pm
    ookay... that was... odd.
  3. Profile photo of silverfang
    silverfang Male 18-29
    256 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:08 pm
    heh, dumb.
  4. Profile photo of joofro
    joofro Male 18-29
    548 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:09 pm
    ehh, fail imo
  5. Profile photo of HaruHaru
    HaruHaru Female 13-17
    1065 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:10 pm
    They did a pretty accurate job. I think.

    On another note:
    The hell is wrong with the hostess`s eyebrows?

  6. Profile photo of Supersyko
    Supersyko Male 18-29
    314 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:11 pm
    DUDE_WTF
  7. Profile photo of baddogsmaste
    baddogsmaste Female 30-39
    380 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:14 pm
    I hate the Onion... It seems so real sometimes... BTW, nasty.
  8. Profile photo of michaelcsr
    michaelcsr Male 40-49
    559 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:15 pm
    It almost had me. Up until the dude said it was unlikly she would find help. Then I knew this was bullpoo.
  9. Profile photo of raging_n
    raging_n Female 18-29
    10 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:15 pm
    Am i the only one who thought that was absolutely awful? I mean, they jumped an awful lot of conclusions there, and it was a bit harsh imo to show the mother that...
    Is all american TV like that, or just today now?
  10. Profile photo of LillianDulci
    LillianDulci Female 18-29
    2674 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:16 pm
    I was kinda iffy if it was real until the woman was like "is the bruise from her pimp?" and I was just like "bah -_-"
  11. Profile photo of LillianDulci
    LillianDulci Female 18-29
    2674 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:16 pm
    Raging, its fake... my god.
  12. Profile photo of Bekll
    Bekll Female 18-29
    1984 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:17 pm
    Note: The Onion is all about satire.
  13. Profile photo of CaptainPat
    CaptainPat Male 18-29
    1584 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:19 pm
    i thought it was real up untill i saw the first digitally aged picture..
    i got a little suspicious when i saw how fake the stuff in the aging screen looked, and the "loading" thing
  14. Profile photo of oddstef
    oddstef Female 18-29
    204 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:19 pm
    i was almost sucked in...
    if you notice in the photo of her today, the dat is 1st of April...dead givaway there
  15. Profile photo of oddstef
    oddstef Female 18-29
    204 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:19 pm
    *date
  16. Profile photo of Ani187
    Ani187 Female 30-39
    4448 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:21 pm
    The Onion is satirical, and not really that funny, at least not to me.
    For those of you who don`t get it:
    If it`s from The Onion, IT`S FAKE.
  17. Profile photo of TxP
    TxP Female 70 & Over
    1190 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:23 pm
    im so glad that wasnt real 0_0 can you imagine being that mom if it was,jeez
  18. Profile photo of wwjrmd
    wwjrmd Female 13-17
    21 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:33 pm
    lol you guys chill out. it`s satire. like daily show and colbert report. today now is not a real show. it`s just funny satire or morning shows. haha you losers are so gullible. NOW that`s the funny part
  19. Profile photo of Bekll
    Bekll Female 18-29
    1984 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:50 pm
    I agree wwjrmd, it`s funny that people still get tricked by it. That`s the genius of it. *laughs*
  20. Profile photo of HeartsxxFade
    HeartsxxFade Female 13-17
    89 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:52 pm
    lol I thought tanya would be black
  21. Profile photo of Samela
    Samela Female 18-29
    192 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:52 pm
    I am NOT a fan of the Onion at all.
  22. Profile photo of Surfingninja
    Surfingninja Female 18-29
    744 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:54 pm
    Oh man, that poo was so cash.
  23. Profile photo of BakaNeko728
    BakaNeko728 Female 18-29
    665 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:55 pm
    that`s good that she`s off the drugs!
  24. Profile photo of Neagle
    Neagle Male 30-39
    1405 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:57 pm
    Nice! That was better then most of The Onions work.
  25. Profile photo of VampyreV
    VampyreV Female 18-29
    8 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 5:59 pm
    *sad face*
  26. Profile photo of randyintwin
    randyintwin Male 50-59
    730 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 6:06 pm
    rofl! I was sucked in for a sec! totally sicko, but funny!
  27. Profile photo of Maeru
    Maeru Female 18-29
    23 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 6:09 pm
    The `mother`s` expression while this went on was the best part...
  28. Profile photo of KeVsTeR2475
    KeVsTeR2475 Male 13-17
    1841 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 6:12 pm
    lol fake or not, thats no prostitute i would get in bed with. not that i would with any >.> but u know what i mean =3
  29. Profile photo of ArianaTheGee
    ArianaTheGee Female 13-17
    70 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 6:12 pm
    Obviously fake...and pretty mean too. Not funny by my standards.

    But it`s good that she`s off the drugs.

  30. Profile photo of SanityInsane
    SanityInsane Female 18-29
    150 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 6:13 pm
    If anyone STILL thinks that this might be real, notice the Onion logos on the tv screen in the background.
  31. Profile photo of StufftKid13
    StufftKid13 Male 13-17
    418 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 6:17 pm
    Haha, i thought it was real until the second picture and then i saw the Today Now logo... hahaha nice job onion
  32. Profile photo of GloineFiodh
    GloineFiodh Male 18-29
    252 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 6:22 pm
    Obviously fake if anyones still wondering. And not really that funny either.
  33. Profile photo of unreedemed
    unreedemed Male 13-17
    544 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 6:24 pm
    drating hilarious/
  34. Profile photo of kiddo
    kiddo Male 13-17
    254 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 6:46 pm
    raging, its a fake.
  35. Profile photo of AndroidMetro
    AndroidMetro Male 18-29
    807 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 6:50 pm
    I don`t care what anyone says, this is better than the real news.
  36. Profile photo of bochamockado
    bochamockado Male 18-29
    580 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 6:59 pm
    Onion is good sometimes...not this time.
  37. Profile photo of Gunit1
    Gunit1 Female 13-17
    850 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 7:07 pm
    I like the pimp slap bruise! :-D
  38. Profile photo of genericuser
    genericuser Female 18-29
    317 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 7:11 pm
    I thought it was real until I heard the word `onion`.
  39. Profile photo of vandagirl
    vandagirl Female 18-29
    110 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 7:29 pm
    Wow... I actually thought that was real for a few minutes!!!

    Freakin` funny... Until the pimp comment... Eww.

  40. Profile photo of NicoNico
    NicoNico Female 18-29
    444 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 7:34 pm
    If you look close, you can see "Onion" in the very beginning, before the logo. Kinda hard to see, but that`s the first time they mention it.

    Not that funny, but the onion`s stuff is often hit or miss.

  41. Profile photo of violingirl77
    violingirl77 Female 13-17
    1426 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 7:36 pm
    I love The Onion!
  42. Profile photo of ThursdayLark
    ThursdayLark Female 18-29
    657 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 7:38 pm
    I didn`t even know what The Onion was so I thought this was real until I saw the message boards. x_x
  43. Profile photo of TGPZarquon
    TGPZarquon Male 30-39
    166 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 7:38 pm
    WILL YOU PLEASE STOP CATEGORIZING THE ONION AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN COMEDY? THE MISLEADING CRAP IS GETTING ANNOYING!
  44. Profile photo of HachiSanJu
    HachiSanJu Male 18-29
    64 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 7:51 pm
    "Please call us here at The Onion News Network."
    Duh.

    How did nobody pick up on that? 0_o

  45. Profile photo of Blakcat71388
    Blakcat71388 Female 18-29
    876 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 7:55 pm
    That made me lol
  46. Profile photo of melancholy87
    melancholy87 Female 18-29
    121 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 8:35 pm
    its like the day today and brass eye
  47. Profile photo of mlchris
    mlchris Female 18-29
    920 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 8:37 pm
    haha thats funny
  48. Profile photo of Peaches_XD
    Peaches_XD Female 13-17
    5 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 8:39 pm
    Fake as hell, but I like it =D
  49. Profile photo of CheesyQueso
    CheesyQueso Female 18-29
    2196 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 8:47 pm
    that made me chuckle =D
  50. Profile photo of Eternal76
    Eternal76 Female 30-39
    226 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 8:51 pm
    Oh wow, I actually thought that was real until it got to the third picture, lol. (Hell, I didn`t know.) Funny though! :)
  51. Profile photo of togetec
    togetec Male 13-17
    608 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 9:19 pm
    OWNED!
  52. Profile photo of FrigginMo
    FrigginMo Male 18-29
    266 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 9:30 pm
    DURHUR YOU GUYS SURE ARE SOME AMAZING SLEUTHS.

    ...Christ.

  53. Profile photo of jmk4422
    jmk4422 Male 18-29
    134 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 9:55 pm
    First: It`s the Onion, you morons. Of course it`s fake/satire.

    Second: IAB NEEDS TO STOP RIPPING OFF OTHER SITE`S WORK!!! theOnion.com provides embed codes for their videos. USE THEM. I absolutely HATE IAB when they pull crap like this.

    IAB: Stop stealing other site`s original material, putting it in your crappy flash-player, and profiting off of the result. Either that or don`t bitch when, one of these days, you get your butt sued for copyright infringement. You`ll deserve it and I`ll shed not a tear.

  54. Profile photo of vancouverite
    vancouverite Female 18-29
    250 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 11:03 pm
    the wtf of the day
  55. Profile photo of Nidonemo
    Nidonemo Male 18-29
    9308 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 11:06 pm
    Oh man...that`s so...wrong! XD I can`t help laughing.
  56. Profile photo of i-am-emo
    i-am-emo Female 70 & Over
    1264 posts
    May 8, 2008 at 11:48 pm
    the onion news network logo was a dead give away
  57. Profile photo of apttodo
    apttodo Female 18-29
    795 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 12:24 am
    april 1st 2008, horrible
  58. Profile photo of coolbananas
    coolbananas Female 18-29
    859 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 1:34 am
    haha that was funny!

    "is the bruise from her pimp"
    xD

  59. Profile photo of happyshopper
    happyshopper Male 18-29
    292 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 2:17 am
    that was quite funny
  60. Profile photo of s0236078
    s0236078 Male 18-29
    274 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 3:27 am
    that is just terrible. not funny and too far. epic fail!
  61. Profile photo of starfirerob
    starfirerob Female 18-29
    5 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 4:09 am
    what the hell was that??so she is missing n thats how they think her life is like?? dat was so dumb. there are so many other possible things that could happen to her.good or bad
  62. Profile photo of rhyknow
    rhyknow Male 13-17
    32 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 4:13 am
    Lulz, the Onion kicks ass
  63. Profile photo of Mo73
    Mo73 Male 30-39
    322 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 4:15 am
    Ok..it got me..damn it
  64. Profile photo of dreamxtime
    dreamxtime Female 13-17
    35 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 4:19 am
    Starfirerob - it`s a satirical video. Not really all that funny, but The Onion is a comedy site.

    That means it`s not real.

  65. Profile photo of Shellie84
    Shellie84 Female 18-29
    4197 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 5:03 am
    I thought it was real... I had my speakers on low and could just hear the reporters, so I`m thinking to myself "that`s damn harsh to show the mum that!" By the end I was like WTF?!

    And jmk4422...First: Don`t assume I am a moron. wtf is "the onion"? Is it an american thing? An internet thing? Whatever it is I`ve never heard of it, so I am not a moron so neh lol

    second: IAB uses videos and stuff from other websites... it provides us less boredom by collecting amusing and different stuff from ALL OVER the internet. You didn`t know that?

  66. Profile photo of mal_BB
    mal_BB Male 18-29
    1231 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 5:04 am
    yeah, no one else notice the date-1st April?
  67. Profile photo of Shellie84
    Shellie84 Female 18-29
    4197 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 5:09 am
    I dont pay attention to numbers lol
  68. Profile photo of no_need
    no_need Female 18-29
    465 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 5:14 am
    if i actually ran into any of those computer image girls, i wouldn`t be calling 1-800-FIND-HER... i`d be running for the hills @.@
  69. Profile photo of Grifo
    Grifo Male 30-39
    48 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 7:09 am
    What a dump, pathetic and moralising bullpoo!
  70. Profile photo of AndelleRae
    AndelleRae Female 18-29
    837 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 7:15 am
    jmk4422, did you not notice the nice little credit there, under the "crappy flash player" that said "The Onion"?

    You`re not going to get slapped with a copyright infringement suit if you give credit where credit is due.

    I honestly thought it was real at first too, but when it started getting ridiculous, I realized otherwise.

  71. Profile photo of baddogsmaste
    baddogsmaste Female 30-39
    380 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 7:25 am
    "First: It`s the Onion, you morons. Of course it`s fake/satire.
    Second: IAB NEEDS TO STOP RIPPING OFF OTHER SITE`S WORK!!! theOnion.com provides embed codes for their videos. USE THEM. I absolutely HATE IAB when they pull crap like this.

    IAB: Stop stealing other site`s original material, putting it in your crappy flash-player, and profiting off of the result. Either that or don`t bitch when, one of these days, you get your butt sued for copyright infringement. You`ll deserve it and I`ll shed not a tear."

    Dude, are you being for real right now? really?
    I say that your mom put too much starch in your drawers again and that you need to go to ANOTHER SITE! DUH ITS BEEN COPIED BUT CREDIT WAS GIVIN TO THE RIGHTFUL PEOPLE! If you were paying attention on hear you would know that EVERYTHING ON HEAR IS COPIED FROM SOMEPLACE ELSE!
    man, I hate stupid people.They make great videos but need to stay off the web and not pay hardcore with their keybords.

  72. Profile photo of Burton_Ian
    Burton_Ian Male 18-29
    815 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 7:45 am
    haha excatly

    and the video was pretty funny

  73. Profile photo of AGit
    AGit Male 30-39
    995 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 8:38 am
    No, no, her pimp would have cut off her supply... brilliant!
    Even more seeing that others fall for it, if only for a min or two :)
  74. Profile photo of Bioshocker
    Bioshocker Male 13-17
    593 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 8:48 am
    I think the forensics dud really had a grudge against the mum because did you see how he made the image of her daughter look even WORSE when the mother said `Oh no she`d probably have gone to someones house for help` what a f*cker.
  75. Profile photo of sjanae76
    sjanae76 Female 30-39
    66 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 10:39 am
    Hey I`m right outside Cleveland. . . and I know her! Haven`t seen the baby though. Oh, and she`s back on the drugs only this time it`s pot so she`s a little heavier.
  76. Profile photo of SirKevin
    SirKevin Male 13-17
    240 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 11:01 am
    Jesus christ, that was hilarious. They made up a back story for her and everything! So now, if they were wrong about one thing, no one will recognise her. Honey we`re killing the kids do9ne a MUCH better job of the whole aging process thing, that was pooe. "The sad look in her eyes".
    Gimme a break. No chance she`ll be found now, poor girl.
  77. Profile photo of FxyRoxy777
    FxyRoxy777 Female 18-29
    652 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 11:21 am
    lmao omg how horrible
  78. Profile photo of SteelerChic
    SteelerChic Female 30-39
    7 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 11:31 am
    I`m not to familiar with the Onion`s antics so at first I was believing this, that is until the first age progression showed up. However, when they progressed her to the point she was wearing the Brown`s jersey, I began to wonder if perhaps, maybe this was a real newscast. Ha ha, go Steelers!
  79. Profile photo of SteelerChic
    SteelerChic Female 30-39
    7 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 11:32 am
    oh darn, I meant to type "too" instead of "to" in the first sentence. *Slap on the wrist*
  80. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10441 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 11:56 am
    I forgot that these guys aren`t real, and I was going along with it until i saw the first pic. Funny stuff.
  81. Profile photo of natakalt
    natakalt Female 18-29
    1697 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 12:41 pm
    Not funny
  82. Profile photo of DaPalooka
    DaPalooka Female 13-17
    360 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 1:02 pm
    I found it very funny. The mother looked mortified!
  83. Profile photo of tashimashi
    tashimashi Female 13-17
    77 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 1:33 pm
    omg! i didn`t know the onion had videos! sweet!!!
  84. Profile photo of Valark
    Valark Male 13-17
    77 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 1:41 pm
    I thought it would be fake from reading the title, but just the way they delivered it and watching the mother`s eyes... morbidly hilarious.

    And did anyone else notice that when they asked what she looked like today, the computer readout showed the current date as April 1, 2008?

  85. Profile photo of headbanger80
    headbanger80 Male 13-17
    438 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 1:43 pm
    wow that was so fake
  86. Profile photo of Olragix
    Olragix Male 18-29
    1080 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 1:57 pm
    >.>

    ehhh...

  87. Profile photo of TwilightLies
    TwilightLies Female 18-29
    250 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 2:00 pm
    Wow. I`d never heard of The Onion before.
  88. Profile photo of Pyrophyte
    Pyrophyte Male 13-17
    30 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 2:28 pm
    lol as soon as i saw the forensics guy i was like "fake video or mafia don in disguise?" and then i saw The Onion lol
  89. Profile photo of Loganp3
    Loganp3 Male 18-29
    112 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 2:33 pm
    I love the onion
  90. Profile photo of Jazzeh
    Jazzeh Female 13-17
    464 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 6:43 pm
    Lol Fail :3 I thought this was the onion! XD
  91. Profile photo of dr_satan69
    dr_satan69 Male 18-29
    36 posts
    May 9, 2008 at 8:53 pm
    I`d hit it....:)
  92. Profile photo of aussieguy29
    aussieguy29 Male 18-29
    420 posts
    May 10, 2008 at 1:03 am
    hilarious
  93. Profile photo of ashwey
    ashwey Female 13-17
    943 posts
    May 10, 2008 at 9:28 am
    april fools joke.
  94. Profile photo of Qtw
    Qtw Male 13-17
    36 posts
    May 10, 2008 at 1:21 pm
    they just made fun of her or made assumsions without truly knowing if she was on drugs or was overweight. you cant just assume that happened plus it really looked like they made fun of her. man this is one more reason i hate humanity
  95. Profile photo of ddr_coke21
    ddr_coke21 Male 13-17
    374 posts
    May 10, 2008 at 7:51 pm
    Oh thank god. I thought that was real.

    "Now is that a bruise from her pimp?"

  96. Profile photo of Sweet_Tooth
    Sweet_Tooth Male 18-29
    308 posts
    May 10, 2008 at 8:31 pm
    michaelcsr:

    Yeah. They had me at first until he said she wouldn`t have gotten help too. You gotta love The Onion.

  97. Profile photo of crazymagemia
    crazymagemia Female 18-29
    364 posts
    May 11, 2008 at 5:31 am
    hehehe i love the Onion
  98. Profile photo of shizzamX
    shizzamX Female 18-29
    2695 posts
    May 11, 2008 at 8:12 pm
    lmao
  99. Profile photo of yes369
    yes369 Female 13-17
    64 posts
    May 13, 2008 at 3:10 pm
    Oh, that made my heart sick! What kind of world do we live in that lost and scared children are something to laugh at? Some people are kind of sick.
  100. Profile photo of AntiHero94
    AntiHero94 Female 13-17
    66 posts
    May 15, 2008 at 9:04 pm
    friggen jeez yo... the chick who played the mom was makin me crack up...
  101. Profile photo of 1876
    1876 Female 13-17
    6 posts
    May 31, 2008 at 3:09 am
    bullpoo > Sitting there and making suggestions tham most definately made the mother sick
  102. Profile photo of lagatitamala
    lagatitamala Female 18-29
    194 posts
    June 9, 2008 at 12:43 pm
    what the lol....thats terrible is that report even real...the mom just looks sick of it and how could he know that poo anyway lol
  103. Profile photo of Narikotsu
    Narikotsu Female 13-17
    164 posts
    November 8, 2008 at 4:11 am
    I feel bad, but I`m laughing.

Leave a Reply