Florida Teens Have Odd Birth Control Methods

Submitted by: 843 9 years ago in Funny

You"ll never believe what Florida teens drink as a substitution for proper birth control and HIV prevention.
There are 111 comments:
Female 344
ha well i hear bleach will getyou into the hosptial but i don`t no about stoping HIV
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Male 397
abstinence only sex-ed FTL!
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Female 169
wouldnt it be alot easier to use a condom or b-pills???
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Female 169
isnt bleach poisonous?????
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Male 122
see if it works first

bleach must taste awful

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Male 244
Well...it does work, kinda.

If you`re dead from the bleach you won`t be getting AIDS.

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Female 241
omg...
what a horrible article!
makes it look like everyone in Florida is retarded and without sex education...
so not true...
i went to school in FL and they teach more than just abstinence...
Those teens are jackasses and should not cause a wide stereo-typing!
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Male 68
Abstinence only is one of the worst ideas ever. Kids(hell anyone) can`t even control themselves not to play video games, eat bad foods, and/or smoke and drink. Yet they`re expected to control primal natural urges humans have had for as long as we`ve existed?
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Male 38
Neko_Sik
Female, 13-17, Eastern US
202 Posts Monday, April 07, 2008 5:19:33 PM
wow... southerners are f`in stupid

the south stops at florida fyi...bunch of yanks

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Female 464
Something`s wrong with this picture :/
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Female 24
It gross but it could have been worse....they could have been douching with the bleach after each sexual encounter.

(Although it may be a good idea once in a while....I think abstinence most of the time is like dangling a child`s favorite food or toy in front of them all the time and then putting them behind a locked cage.)

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Male 107
omg.....this makes me grateful to have gone to school in CA cause the governator might be drating up but at least we know that the only way to prevent pregnancy is by the girl being on top.....DUHHHH its gravity man! Come on (btw that was sarcasm to those who sarcasm illiterate)
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Male 61
you mean that DOESNT work?
...damn...
:P
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Female 183
High-five, Mizzou!
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Male 1,024
just sad.
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Female 118
Who the fk comes up with these ideas??? Its as bad as saying having sex standing up keeps you from getting pregnant. Why dont people just buy condoms...
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Female 1,545
Problem with Florida:

Old draters moving there to die and voting conservatively.

Thus promoting idiocy like abstinence-only sex education programs.

Florida teens have no idea how to have sex safely and therefore invent retarded ideas as to what will prevent pregnancy and AIDS.

THUS, I HATE OLD dratERS THAT drat THE COUNTRY UP.

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Male 21
That`s crazy, it must not be popular because I live in Florida and never heard of such a thing ever! I`d like to see some statistics to see how widespread this false information is. I`m sure it is just the media making 2 or 3 idiots represent Fla Teens in general.
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Male 604
Congrats Bush and the right wing conservative christians. Your abstinence only education at work. Did you know that Seat Belts are far from having a 100% success rate? Why doesn`t abstinence apply in other parts of life...
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Male 550
This reminds me of the movie Idiocracy. Idiots multiply like germs while the geniuses keep declining in numbers.
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Male 944
and i used to think i was a freakin retard...
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Female 876
Lawl.. Looks like Florida schools need a health class reform.
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Male 446
Florida just keeps on getting dumber and dumber
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Female 1,496
AH public schools. WHat about the parents?
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Male 4,246
I was thinking about visiting Florida someday (I`m a huge fan of Carl Hiaasen), but this article is making me think about staying far, far away.
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Male 170
It prevents HIV all right... might not stop you from getting it.. but you wont give it to anyone else.. ever..
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Female 118
I went to Floridan school, and we were only taught abstainance. I don`t doubt this story for a second. I sure to hope that they`re going to start and teach proper birth control methods. A third of the senior class was a parent. Go Florida.
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Male 2,372
...and an added bonus of pearly white teeth!
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Female 254
Teaching abstinence in America`s wang...
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Male 2,113
ooooooooooooooooook
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Female 250
and let me guess they think baby`s are grown in a cabbage patch?
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Male 7,933
Florida edumacation is aweum!
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Male 58
It`s poo like this that makes me wish that I wasn`t an adolescent.
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Male 227
can somebody find a site that is actually spreading these rumors? I can`t find one...

but i suppose that if you just had sex and are scarred sh*tless that you may be pregnant...you`d be willing to believe anything,

u`d even believe your drunk friend who says that the guy who hangs out at high school parties, even though he`s 28, told him that bleach prevents pregnancy

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Male 2,440
If someone is dumb enough to know that they are drinking bleach and they actually do it, power to `em. I don`t want people that stupid in the gene pool anyway.
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Male 103
I could go on for pages, and I would still never make a better argument against abstinence only sex education than the news article I just read.

If this doesn`t get the message across, nothing will.

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Male 1,036
^^^^^^^^^^ "reading a lost art" ^^^^^^
haa haa too true
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Female 233
That is so sad. I hope that`s fake. I`m a teen, and I don`t even believe that crap. Then again, I actually read. It`s a lost art now and days. lol!
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Male 390
Just proof that abstinence only education is bullsh*t.
And the kids in florida are borderline retarded.
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Male 695
ak4775: Yeah, I was just about to mention that... It`s not sci-fi comedy... It`s a prophecy...
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Female 157
it`s this kind of stuff that makes me ashamed to live here
does anyone at all have any common sense?!
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Female 1,211
Will Mountain Dew make me sterile? LOL I WISH!
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Female 341
wow, those kids are idiots. I guess we can safely say their parents thought drinking alcohol was a way to prevent pregnancy... ;-)
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Female 183
You`re doing it wrong!
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Male 720
Hey, if it works and they live, more power to `em.
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Male 149
Imagine what would happen if the south won the civil war.
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Male 376
some people drive fast, others love to bet, still others snort coke in a private jet, but drinkin bleach is my way of winnin!

yet another good reason to quote this song. keep em coming.

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Female 252
Does anyone else think its ironic that this story comes from the state refered to as "America`s Wang"
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Female 818
Augh, damn you idolmonkey.
You stole my joke twenty minutes before I made it.
D:
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Female 377
I hope that was a joke.

They can`t really be that drating stupid.

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Female 818
Enough bleach will stop you from getting anything. :D
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Female 330
Well, technically... in a way it does.
Being dead is a good method of birth control. :)
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Female 7
This makes me laugh.

Like this:

HAHAHA!

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Male 5
drat
poo
ass
I am a racist!
damn
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Male 5
drat
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Female 36
I hate this state. Why did I move here??????
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Male 490
YAY SOUTH!
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Male 5
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Male 1,225
mrpopenfresh, reading comments is mandatory to not sounding stupid.
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Male 1,036
Photoshopped.

1-It`s easy as hell to spot
2-If it were real, it would be linked instead of being a screen capture.

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Male 1,225
I`m not defending the stupidity of my fellow Floridians, but we are a southern state only in the sense of geography.

80-90% of us don`t have a twangy accent like Texans. Except for a few, small rural communities (like Palatka) we don`t have a lot of red necks.

We are (unfortunately) a red state with too many of the northern Bible thumpers migrating down here to die, and that is why we (as in the state, not me) voted for Bush (sort of).

As for the idiotic children drinking bleach, they didn`t learn it from our NON-Abstinence only education. When I went to school, we learned how to use condoms and other forms of birth control (although they really stressed the failure rate). Unless things changed in the last 6 years, these kids are getting it from each other and deserve the consequences as long as I don`t pay their medical bills.

Oh wait, every tourist does with your sales tax dollars. Jokes on you too non-Floridians.

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Male 184
and sorry for the extra post... but can we have something that makes us Americans feel a little less stupid. There has to be at least something that the Europeans screwed up with...
...I hope
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Male 455
Ha ha ha...Well, we know who to blame when every teen in the state is smote by a minor case of death.
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Female 179
Ugh. I`m so glad I left florida when I did -_-
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Male 184
Yeah.
At my school it`s all "ABSTINENCE IS THE ONLY WAYYYY!!!1111 I r smarter then u. Bwahahahah!!!" And yeah, so I bet half the kids at my school would believe this sh|t as well.
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Male 724
LMFAO!
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Female 32
PS ... Quick ... someone get me 3 unicorns so I can let them loose on campus ... LOL
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Female 32
First of all ... how are people from FL not southerners? Makes no sense!
Second ... if people are stupid enough to believe this crap at a "reproductive" age ... then well ... they deserve... well you know!
I mean ... kids are young these days when they start some even like 9... but even a 5 year old knows not to drink bleach!
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Female 1,397
And if you lick three unicorns you will become a virgin again.
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Male 354
alikabul: That is a serious problem. For real. Idiots are breeding at an accelerated rate while intelligent people are having few (if any) children. As to my comment on natural selection I stand by it. The problem is that with advances in tech and medical people that normally wouldn`t live (say by drinking bleach) are saved and live on to pollute the gene pool. I hate to mention this garbage movie but have you seen "Idiocracy"?
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Male 97
FYI i`m saying the post is real, not the actually "news team going out and finding this" is real.

And I know everybody in Florida isn`t that stupid, but I guess some teens are...

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Male 97
http://www.local6.com/news/15773787/deta...

Not fake.

And just to make sure it works, we should let them drink the whole damn jug.

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Female 200
okay I`m from Florida and I can promise you we aren`t all that stupid
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Male 614
I`m thinking this is fake, since it`s a freakin image instead of a link
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Male 695
Oh, and I forgot to mention: Stupid americans? Gee wizzzz... That`s a new one!
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Male 695
ak4775: That`s not natural selection. That`s evolution working it`s way backwards. Haven`t you guys noticed that stupid people pass on more genes than smart ones? For instance; rednecks with 48 kids and smart business people having 2,7... Darwin`s rolling over in his coffin... The fittest are surviving much less often...
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Male 354
No rednecks in Florida? Obviously you children haven`t seen very much of your state, let alone the rest of the world. If you believe that then you are sorely misinformed.
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Female 33
Legacy15`s absolutely right. If you want southerners go to Alabama, you won`t find any in Florida. Chances are, a few kids made up this story about the bleach, it spread around, caught the attention of a local news group, and said local news group blew it up blaming every teen in Florida. Not cool Local 6.
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Female 16
Mercury gets rid of chlamydia!
And eating lead paint cures gonorrhea.
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Female 393
oh dear god...

thick as sh*t is the expression that springs to mind.

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Female 513
Another example on why teaching strictly abstinence does not work. Don`t tell kids "don`t do it" and "you won`t get this, this, or that if you don`t do it" and then be all surprised when they act like normal teenagers, experiment and get themselves knocked up or infected because - oh my god - they didn`t know.

It`s our job as adults to help protect the youth by giving them information so they can make their own educated choices. Anything less, and we have no one to blame but ourselves.

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Female 220
Oh those crazy kids and their crazy ideas!
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Male 1,837
blonds? most likely.
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Female 1,407
*facepalm* Good Lord...t_t
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Male 435
I Live In Crappy FL, I Should Try That Line On A Chick!
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Male 2,720
you know whats REALLY stupid? gravity.
i mean, look at it, all keeping crap on the ground and stuff. like, relax.
so wtf is up with gravity.
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Female 217
!

BWAHAHAHA.

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Male 1,204
"darkprodigy, dew does kill sperm but its barely enough to make a differance, you would need to drink like 10 gallons in an hour to make a noticable differance in sperm count. now dont quote me on the figure but its around in there"

... and i`m supposed to believe that?

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Male 153
*sigh* these are the most absolute IDIOTS IV`E EVER HEARD OF! *rips Florida in half* just because you live in the Disney state doesn`t mean you get to be stupid!
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Female 414
that`s the south for ya!
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Male 1,629
and its yellow 5
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Female 678
i think we should give Florida the bob barker treatment.
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Male 1,629
darkprodigy, dew does kill sperm but its barely enough to make a differance, you would need to drink like 10 gallons in an hour to make a noticable differance in sperm count. now dont quote me on the figure but its around in there
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Female 239
These kids are idiots! Everyone knows that Sunkist prevents pregnancy....Mountian Dew gets rid of herpes!
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Male 64
Why do the old people insist on abstinence? , i mean stop living in the past old people, the young are horny monkeys.
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Male 896
I hope for the sake of humanity that this story is true.
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Female 731
I bet one not-retarded person said, `Hey Mountain Dew and bleach will prevent AIDs and pregnancy.` as a joke and everyone believed him.
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Female 523
well it`s true. you can`t get aids if yer dead from the bleach :D
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Female 4,225
I say it`s fake
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Male 196
Those kids should keep it up. I`ll supply the bleach.
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Female 17
HAHAHAH! That`s hilarious. Why? Just why? Is this where my tax dolllars are going? Please say it`s not, because,... wow. How stupid do you have to be?
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Female 696
wow... southerners are f`in stupid
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Male 300
Take that Kansas!
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Male 396
WOW thats pretty sad
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Male 354
Ahhh.... Natural selection at work. Good job!
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Male 548
wow florida is retarded
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Male 1,085
Uh, alright. Cool?
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Male 474
Mountain Dew > All

The color (Yellow (Insert number here)) pwns sperm, so yeah.

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Male 36
wow...
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Male 550
Link: Florida Teens Have Odd Birth Control Methods [Rate Link] - You`ll never believe what Florida teens drink as a substitution for proper birth control and HIV prevention.
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