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[Total: 136    Average: 3.5/5]
70 Comments - View/Add
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Rating: 3.5
Category: Funny
Date: 04/15/08 06:58 AM

70 Responses to Chuck Norris Facts

  1. Profile photo of greengiant
    greengiant Male 13-17
    686 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 6:23 am
    Link: Chuck Norris Facts - Every time you don`t watch this, Chuck Norris punches a baby in the head.
  2. Profile photo of RetroNess
    RetroNess Female 18-29
    118 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:06 am
    Wow, never read those before. B-|
  3. Profile photo of BrokenJohn
    BrokenJohn Male 18-29
    464 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:07 am
    I never got the whole "Chuck Norris" thing.
  4. Profile photo of _Perfection_
    _Perfection_ Male 18-29
    1788 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:07 am
    I thought this was dead. Unfortunately I was wrong.
  5. Profile photo of FIRST_poster
    FIRST_poster Male 18-29
    970 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:09 am
    chuck norris can cheer up emos
  6. Profile photo of oddflame
    oddflame Male 18-29
    193 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:10 am
    Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra. After three days of agonizing pain, the cobra died.
  7. Profile photo of FIRST_poster
    FIRST_poster Male 18-29
    970 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:16 am
    chuck norris can divide through zero
  8. Profile photo of azzerbdx
    azzerbdx Male 18-29
    24 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:16 am
    Chuck Norris` tears cure cancer, though causes AIDs.
  9. Profile photo of drixishot
    drixishot Male 18-29
    369 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:20 am
    god i hate these jokes, as they aren`t funny.


    liked the music though....

  10. Profile photo of SilentFray
    SilentFray Female 18-29
    678 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:21 am
    Chuck Norris doesn`t teabag, he potato sacks.
    Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pees.

    i almost forgot about those

  11. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11741 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:30 am
    The jokes themselves aren`t funny. The whole joke about Chuck Norris being the supreme being is funny in a sad, sad way.
  12. Profile photo of jasonbradm
    jasonbradm Male 18-29
    50 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:36 am
    These things are funny to anyone that is old enough to have seen a few Chuck Norris movies in their day. It takes a sense of humor to get these thigs too. The obscurity of these jokes in relation to somone that has not been the major spotlght in YEARS is also what makes them funny. The same joke would probably work for Jean Claude Van-Damme, Steven Segal, Bruce Cambell(Ash from the Evil Dead series & the newer old spice commercials for you younger people.), and a slew of other people. Just try out these jokes with any B-List action star, and they all still work. You people that say that these aren`t funny need to lighten up a little and start to have a good time in life. I have ranted long enough.
  13. Profile photo of Eternal76
    Eternal76 Female 30-39
    226 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:41 am
    Ah, Chuck Norris facts are always good. I`ve read most of them before, but there were a few in there I`d never seen before that made me chuckle.
  14. Profile photo of mystreT
    mystreT Male 30-39
    332 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:46 am
    seriously....we`re still doing Chuck Norris facts? Why is enything that is any good beaten like a dead horse?
    It was funny.........a year ago. Leave it alone already.
  15. Profile photo of eladrelkce
    eladrelkce Male 30-39
    528 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:48 am
    Very clever, very funny. Although I thought I was the only one who clogs the toilet when they pee.
  16. Profile photo of soupkid
    soupkid Male 30-39
    264 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:50 am
    I generally like Chuch Norris jokes, but some of these were a little lame.
  17. Profile photo of pebbles99
    pebbles99 Female 18-29
    52 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:59 am
    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  18. Profile photo of dibens
    dibens Male 18-29
    203 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 8:00 am
    Chuck Norris forced Chocolate Rain guy to Rick Roll
  19. Profile photo of drixishot
    drixishot Male 18-29
    369 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 8:02 am
    "You people that say that these aren`t funny need to lighten up a little and start to have a good time in life." I have ranted long enough.

    um just cos i don`t think its funny doesn`t mean i need to lighten up, it just means that i think these jokes aren`t funny. not everyone has to find the same things hilarious, i find things funny that other people wouldn`t, but i would respect their opinion and not tell them what to think.

    end of my rant

  20. Profile photo of drixishot
    drixishot Male 18-29
    369 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 8:04 am
    and by the way i do have a good time in life, just not with chuck norris jokes.
  21. Profile photo of Ashwindow
    Ashwindow Female 18-29
    775 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 8:40 am
    Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris
  22. Profile photo of Yacazero
    Yacazero Male 18-29
    4 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 8:42 am
    i wonder how it feels to have a lemon jammed up my ass... you guys tell me
  23. Profile photo of MBlazel
    MBlazel Male 13-17
    135 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 8:47 am
    Wow, WHAT IS THAT SONG IT IS AWESOME!
  24. Profile photo of lyonartime
    lyonartime Male 18-29
    260 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 8:52 am
    Chuck Norris once was attacked by a bear in the woods. He then showed the bear his fist. The bear immediately ate itself, thinking it was the less painful way to die.
  25. Profile photo of Matwix_2004
    Matwix_2004 Male 18-29
    2551 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 9:37 am
    Psh. No bear would ever attack Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris must have been bear hunting.
  26. Profile photo of luckyaxolotl
    luckyaxolotl Male 18-29
    188 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 10:05 am
    This is lame. There are loads of funnier Chuck Norris facts and they have the additional benefit of not being delivered, excruciatingly, slowly, in, a, crap, video, clip.
  27. Profile photo of wolkanne
    wolkanne Male 30-39
    226 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 10:07 am
    Ahahahhahahhaha! xD Chuck can do a wheelie on a unicycle xD
  28. Profile photo of darthzew
    darthzew Male 18-29
    201 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 10:09 am
    Chuck Norris doesn`t read. He just stares down books until he gets the information he wants!
  29. Profile photo of citadel
    citadel Male 18-29
    486 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 10:44 am
    hahaha im not a huge chuck norris person but wheelie on a unicycle? thats hilarius
  30. Profile photo of Wey_Pooh
    Wey_Pooh Male 18-29
    1004 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 10:48 am
    It is funny, dammnit.
    When you make a person something that he`s not, like a God. Take religion for example, hahah those idiots.
    If these facts weren`t all so exagerated, I bet it would`ve become a religion 100 years from now. It would help if Chuck Norris wasn`t a celebrity as well.
  31. Profile photo of MagicPaul
    MagicPaul Male 18-29
    653 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 10:53 am
    what annoyed me the most was that the video was titled "random chuck norris facts" when they clearly weren`t random at all by the simple fact that someone had selected them and put them in a video. If it had been titled "chuck norris facts chosen at random" i`d have been cool with it...
  32. Profile photo of protinestain
    protinestain Male 18-29
    28 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 10:59 am
    because of me 3 baby`s got hit in the head.
  33. Profile photo of Tekno
    Tekno Female 30-39
    1212 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 11:17 am
    That gave me a chuckle or two.
  34. Profile photo of TruTexasGirl
    TruTexasGirl Female 18-29
    415 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 12:02 pm
    poo yeah! CHUCK NORRIS IS THE MAN!!!
    After a long night of partying Chuck Norris dosnt throw up HE THROWS DOWN!
  35. Profile photo of Indolence
    Indolence Male 18-29
    90 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 12:35 pm
    chuck norris created god.
  36. Profile photo of proof1221
    proof1221 Male 18-29
    690 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 12:52 pm
    lol i want that song on my ipod
  37. Profile photo of caboose117
    caboose117 Male 13-17
    1204 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 12:56 pm
    Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
  38. Profile photo of Muser
    Muser Male 18-29
    54 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 1:12 pm
    The gift of beard haha
    I`ve never watched any Chuck Norris films that I can remember but I still find the jokes stupidly amusing :D
  39. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7935 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 1:16 pm
    Wilt Chamberlain says he has slept with 2000 women. Chuck Norris calls it Tuesday
  40. Profile photo of wtfstfu
    wtfstfu Male 13-17
    112 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 1:26 pm
    omg the whole chuck norris would get owned by three people jet li tod from soldier if u havnt seen the movie ur lame and riddick
  41. Profile photo of jasonbradm
    jasonbradm Male 18-29
    50 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 1:35 pm
    Chuck Norris CAN beat a dead horse.
  42. Profile photo of jasonbradm
    jasonbradm Male 18-29
    50 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 1:37 pm
    Long live Steven Segal
  43. Profile photo of sam8380
    sam8380 Male 18-29
    55 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 1:45 pm
    hell....if we keep writing about chuck norris, in thousands of years from now historians will think him some sort of god we worshipped during our time. kids will go to museums to see static exibits of chuck norris in unicycles and punching bears.....
  44. Profile photo of BlackiPod
    BlackiPod Male 18-29
    1244 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 2:26 pm
    Are chuck norris jokes just now hitting someplaces? Cause for me, living in michigan, it hit here big at the beginning of 2007
  45. Profile photo of Pepechooboo
    Pepechooboo Male 13-17
    60 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 2:33 pm
    Bruce Lee is better ^^
  46. Profile photo of morbidframe
    morbidframe Male 13-17
    145 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 3:02 pm
    i have heard a lot of them but that had some i have never heard..... gotta love the giving jesus the gift of beard
  47. Profile photo of morbidframe
    morbidframe Male 13-17
    145 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 3:05 pm
    bruce lee pwns!!!! but chuck norris is a joke cause his movies where so crappy and sooooo cheesy its just worth watching if only for a laugh... try The Sidekick its REALLY stupid
  48. Profile photo of morbidframe
    morbidframe Male 13-17
    145 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 3:06 pm
    lmao try using Rick Astly jokes hahahaha
  49. Profile photo of thesupreme1
    thesupreme1 Male 13-17
    148 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 3:15 pm
    I liked the his kick broke the speed of light and went back in time one.
  50. Profile photo of nme
    nme Male 13-17
    110 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 3:36 pm
    can anyone tell me the name of this song?
  51. Profile photo of hyeonkim0805
    hyeonkim0805 Male 18-29
    667 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 3:58 pm
    The song is by Gabriel Faure. Pavane, Op.50
    I don`t know what the remix version is called though, Pavane, Op.50 REMIX!!! maybe?
  52. Profile photo of SunSparkles
    SunSparkles Female 18-29
    87 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:28 pm
    First the hoff, then chuck...i`m prediciting MacGuyver for the next wave...

    ...or has that already been done??

  53. Profile photo of thelonious
    thelonious Male 40-49
    3286 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 7:45 pm
    Chuck Norris doesn`t sleep, he just waits for 8 hours
  54. Profile photo of Zerocyde
    Zerocyde Male 18-29
    3256 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 11:28 pm
    How do people not understand the Chuck Norris jokes? Second grade math is harder to figure out.

    Chuck Norris is a washed up loser joke. Implying that he is `badass` is funny as hell. Even more so when, implying that he can do the outrageous things the jokes say he can.

  55. Profile photo of richoricho
    richoricho Male 40-49
    1036 posts
    April 16, 2008 at 12:50 am
    THe Chuck rules the net
  56. Profile photo of hagane
    hagane Male 30-39
    967 posts
    April 16, 2008 at 6:50 am
    OMFG, hilarious sh*t right there! I`ve seen the list before, but it`s good to see something new.
  57. Profile photo of theelgeth
    theelgeth Female 70 & Over
    99 posts
    April 16, 2008 at 7:02 am
    Chuck Norris know the last digit of PI.
  58. Profile photo of th25tina
    th25tina Female 40-49
    368 posts
    April 16, 2008 at 8:31 am
    I still like hearing a good Chuck Norris fact...even the bad ones.
  59. Profile photo of syke22
    syke22 Male 18-29
    1136 posts
    April 16, 2008 at 12:18 pm
    when chuck noris roundhouse kicks you, you don`t just die once.. you die three times
  60. Profile photo of beehappy
    beehappy Female 13-17
    209 posts
    April 17, 2008 at 2:13 am
    who is waldo??? Don`t they mean wally?
  61. Profile photo of beehappy
    beehappy Female 13-17
    209 posts
    April 17, 2008 at 2:16 am
    or maybe wally isn`t a name in america?
  62. Profile photo of Jerm_Leather
    Jerm_Leather Male 18-29
    897 posts
    April 17, 2008 at 5:33 am
    Dainty doesn`t speak proper English, she Enforces it! *nice one!*

    I love the Chuck Norris facts, personally. I was a kid when he was an action hero and the jokes work no matter how you look at them. For the record; Walker Texas Ranger pretty much signified the End of any lingering respect Chuck Norris had left. I mean, the theme song is GodAweful!!

    Chuck Norris doesn`t act, he shapes reality to fit his mood.

  63. Profile photo of BikerTeen
    BikerTeen Male 13-17
    2113 posts
    April 17, 2008 at 1:25 pm
    fail
  64. Profile photo of catlvr887
    catlvr887 Female 13-17
    533 posts
    April 18, 2008 at 7:41 pm
    they butchered Pavane =(
  65. Profile photo of Qtw
    Qtw Male 13-17
    36 posts
    May 10, 2008 at 6:57 pm
    there is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
  66. Profile photo of 7l24c3
    7l24c3 Male 13-17
    37 posts
    June 16, 2008 at 12:20 am
    "Chuck Norris once was attacked by a bear in the woods. He then showed the bear his fist. The bear immediately ate itself, thinking it was the less painful way to die." -lyonartime

    hunt? i think not. hunting implies the chance of failure. therefore chuck norris does not hunt, he kills.

  67. Profile photo of 7l24c3
    7l24c3 Male 13-17
    37 posts
    June 16, 2008 at 12:22 am
    whoops copied the wrong post

    "Psh. No bear would ever attack Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris must have been bear hunting." -Matwix_2004

  68. Profile photo of woolf2k
    woolf2k Male 40-49
    6 posts
    August 15, 2008 at 9:35 am
    this is a test of the...
  69. Profile photo of woolf2k
    woolf2k Male 40-49
    6 posts
    August 15, 2008 at 9:39 am
    oh joy to the world
  70. Profile photo of SnaveNareik
    SnaveNareik Male 13-17
    244 posts
    October 22, 2008 at 12:28 pm
    lolz at video

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