beamz Music Performance System

Submitted by: fancylad 9 years ago in Science
/media/26940_beamzMusicPerformanceSystem.flv
I thought this was a joke at first, like an Onion spoof. But it"s an actual ""musical instrument"" available on April 15.
There are 56 comments:
Male 182
that requires about as much talent as Guitar Hero
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Male 13
Stupid and requires not a shread of musical abiliy or talent.What`s next? Wave your penis across a beam and out comes the American Idol CD?.....No thanks....!!!
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Male 174
wow how tacky(except the rock one thats awsome =P)
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Male 32
Seems really bad.
Looks like the `quiet reverie` guy was pretty into it though, right? He was lost in the vibes...
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Male 84
Stretching a few rubber bands over this and strumming them seems more fun than using this as designed.

For those that are actually interested in making music and don`t want to spend money go here: http://www.power-tab.net/
Yeah it`s in MIDI, but you can write music and it sounds plenty good for free software.

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Male 59
The sound is horrible. Reminds me of a Casio I got in the mid-eighties, the golden age of sh*t sound. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Damn it! aaahhh...AH!
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Female 360
I`d buy one, if it werent so freegin expensive.
This is the kind of present where you buy it for a kid, they love it for a week, and then it just gathers dust in the closet. WHats the point?
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Female 464
Eww :o
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Male 125
In the future, anyone will be able to expertly play any instrument with no prior experience or practice. Where`s the fun in learning to play an instrument if everyone can play it without ever touching the dang thing? So much for practice, natural ability, and anything resembling skill or different instruments.
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Male 292
i think they need some better marketing
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Male 356
What a heap of slag. It`s a `musical instrument` for people who are too stupid to even use a beat box. Wow. I can`t wait until i see the first `beams band` video.
umm, i was kidding about that last part, fancylad. Please have mercy.
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Male 355
Dont think it´s real, it cant perform a guitar solo like that just touching the beam
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Male 54
The reason why they say that it`s for musicians, is because you can create your own songs with this thing. Honestly if you want to do that, why not just get FruityLoops or something.
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Male 149
Douchebag product #1
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Male 5,194
Like I`m watching somebody paint a pretty picture, then I realize it`s paint-by-numbers.

Long, LONG after it becomes very obvious that it’s just paint-by-numbers, idiots still marvel at it. You just don`t get how it works. You never get anything. I`m surrounded by stupid people every day of my life. I hate you stupid people.

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Male 446
that is so useless
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Male 2,567
lol
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Male 123

...and here`s the Retardophone!

All the people on this vid look like morons, and their "instruments" do not help.

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Male 57
I could probably find a good theremin for $600, or at least a used one.

who needs a plastic piece of crap with no real innovations or original ideas? ~statement interchangeable with description of PS3~

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Male 1,036
Beam me up scotty!
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Male 695
Baconeater got it... THIS IS NOT A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT!!!
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Male 446
Looks like it belongs on "Buck Rogers of the 23 century". Beedee Beedee, Hot Dog!
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Male 2,113
WANT!!!
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Male 2,372
Good God!

I vote NO

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Female 332
...even cow bell

lol

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Male 10,440
OMG! that was amazing. Digital age baby! yeaH!
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Female 80
MORE COWBELL!!!
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Female 414
stupid. if you want to play music, learn at a young age. for instance, i started piano when i was 5, and now i`m really good at it
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Male 2,172
I can`t wait for the gaming industry to get their hands on this.

THEREMIN HERO FTW.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJYho56IN...

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Male 237
What a useless piece of garbage

The BLB

Music Teacher

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Female 1,589
Wow, that thing just murdered all instruments...
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Male 2,720
oh my god its the douche nozzle symphony.

i`m afraid, agape, agog, alarmed, amazed, anxious, appalled, astonished, astounded, awestruck, confounded, dismayed, dumbfounded, frightened, overwhelmed, shocked, startled, stunned, surprised, terrified, and thunderstruck.

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Male 136
That`s not playing music, that`s changing around pre written music. As far as I could tell the only thing they were accomplishing by breaking the lasers was to control the rhythm, the actual notes and musical structure appeared to be computer controlled. Fail.
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Male 1,036
Its looks like crap, it sounds like crap and for what it is it really isnt very flexible. Novelty at best.

80% of the technology involved in this is at least ten years old.

Also, whoever mention the theremin, I aplaud you, that thing was tight.

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Male 747
Stupid and corny
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Female 127
It just looks incredibly stupid
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Male 435
Lame, My Lil`Sis Had A Barney Guitar Like That.
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Male 317
don`t remember where I tried it (maybe the smithsonian?) but there was a much more badass version of this. It was a harp without the strings. And like 40 lasers. So it was legitimately like playing the harp. I think. Well at least you could make music, unlike this.


Quiet reverie? the drat?

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Male 428
YAY! first we had guitar hero, and now we have this to make people think they are musicians.
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Female 818
Reminds me of a theremin.
Theremins are freakin` awesome.
I want a theremin :D
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Male 2,160
me need...
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Female 450
I like it, it`s not actually going to make you a musician (unless you do something REALLY creative with it), but it is fun for parties or some social gathering. I`d buy it, but for cheaper.
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Female 134
I bet it`s like one of those children pianos that play all the note for you. All you have to do is press the buttons [Or in this case, move your hands].
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Male 3,301
Betcha ten bucks its European. They`re the king of bad music.

And I love how he tries to be hip during the guitar part and wear glasses. A fail so epic, its a win in the cosmic sense.

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Male 376
you gotta be kidding me! old technology and bad midi sounds for 600 bucks?! actually, the roland hpd`s `d-beam` is cooler i think because you can set it to modify a sound and it reads where your hand breaks the beam on both a horizontal and vertical axis, making it much more expressive.

i dunno, maybe it can do more than the demo, but the multiple beam triggers does nothing for me if there`s no controllability. this was made for people with extra cash floating around, not musicians.

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Male 2,372
Good God!

I vote NO

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Male 1,014
Yeah I`m sure those`ll FLY off the shelves. Because everyone looks so cool playing them and all.
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Male 141
hah! great concept!
and great final result too!
too bad it`s expensive.
and seems dorky.
and the actors or whatever are even more dorkier.
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Male 1,766
4.0?
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Male 506
too bad it`s 600 motherf*cking dollars..
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Male 506
Man, i want one now.
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Male 97
Give me one now.
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Male 20
Reminds me of a bad version of a Theremin
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Male 20
lol wtf...
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Male 20,825
Because some of you may think I`m lying, here`s the device in the Sharper Image catalog.
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Male 20,825
Link: beamz Music Performance System [Rate Link] - I thought this was a joke at first, like an Onion spoof. But it`s an actual ``musical instrument`` available on April 15.
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