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Rating: 3.4
Category: Funny
Date: 03/20/08 03:10 AM

82 Responses to The 10 Products Only Douchebags Buy

  1. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18942 posts
    March 19, 2008 at 11:52 pm
    Link: The 10 Products Only Douchebags Buy - These 10 items are so douchey they could take even the most dignified gentleman and make him look like a raging jackass.
  2. Profile photo of miss_cky
    miss_cky Female 18-29
    85 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 3:20 am
    Is it weird that I want balls for my car now?...
  3. Profile photo of aj101
    aj101 Male 13-17
    567 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 3:20 am
    aaahahahahah that i love my penis thing is funny.

    i mean the funny that its so poo funny

  4. Profile photo of R_U_Kidding
    R_U_Kidding Male 18-29
    4246 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 3:30 am
    Speaking of douchebags: Congrats on getting your `first` deleted, cambboi.
  5. Profile photo of Painter13
    Painter13 Male 40-49
    1366 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 3:34 am
    I hate those Clavin rip-off stickers. That kind of merchandising is why the artist quit making that cartoon.
  6. Profile photo of lovemeowmix
    lovemeowmix Female 18-29
    105 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 3:36 am
    LOL...why have a fake tan when you can get the real thing? Oh yah, you don`t want skin cancer...
  7. Profile photo of hunneybear
    hunneybear Male 13-17
    396 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 3:39 am
    lol interesting
  8. Profile photo of Axane18
    Axane18 Female 13-17
    48 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 3:41 am
    Truck Balls. Heh.
    I`d kick them in front of the truck`s owner.
    Just for giggles.
  9. Profile photo of Axane18
    Axane18 Female 13-17
    48 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 3:43 am
    Cambboi.
    You`re so getting that deleted, and if you don`t, I still hate you with a passion. Along with all the rest of the first posters.
  10. Profile photo of Ditas
    Ditas Female 18-29
    313 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 4:02 am
    funny link, but I didn`t really think all of those were for douchbags... I mean, some were funny, and others just... usual, i don`t know...
    And I don`t think AXE is too bad... yeah, the adverts are for douchebags, but the spray actually smells okay...
  11. Profile photo of xxmiranda
    xxmiranda Female 13-17
    235 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 4:19 am
    meh.
    why has the world `douchebag; suddenly come into use more often than last week?
  12. Profile photo of WHOISIT12345
    WHOISIT12345 Male 18-29
    4394 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 4:28 am
    wow....
  13. Profile photo of bionicRod
    bionicRod Male 30-39
    1014 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 4:40 am
    Meh, there`s other more douchey things out there.
  14. Profile photo of WNLD
    WNLD Female 18-29
    243 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 4:51 am
    I`m giving this entry a rare "4" for its value as a Public Service Announcement. Too bad it`s not going to get the publicity of a Britney or a Paris, because that`s what it really needs. The world would be noticably better that way.

    And, NO, Axe body spray is NOT okay. Not unless you`re a hermit and promise to live exclusively on private property (and caves do not count unless they`re on private property and some tourist is not in danger of accidentally meeting you). I don`t even wish for prison inmates to have to put up with Axe.

  15. Profile photo of WNLD
    WNLD Female 18-29
    243 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 4:51 am
    And bionicRod, please write down your list of "other more douchey things out there." I`m listening :)
  16. Profile photo of Trexa
    Trexa Female 18-29
    283 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 4:54 am
    ^ I agree, although the car balls were hilarious. And I am allergic to Axe. :/
  17. Profile photo of Phantom7
    Phantom7 Male 18-29
    944 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 5:25 am
    hmmm i have most of those things
  18. Profile photo of EstiloPanama
    EstiloPanama Female 18-29
    2074 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 5:26 am
    I hate those stupid balls.

    Good list, though! Very accurate.

  19. Profile photo of gorgack2000
    gorgack2000 Male 13-17
    4682 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 5:34 am
    Testicles for a truck? Weird.
  20. Profile photo of Sabre200000
    Sabre200000 Male 18-29
    1039 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 6:02 am
    LOL, I was behind a black truck with a set of those balls just 2 days ago.

    What`s crazy is I thought this exact thing "What a douche".

  21. Profile photo of dm2754
    dm2754 Male 40-49
    3352 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 6:07 am
    what about iBooks, iPods or any Apple
  22. Profile photo of paramecium
    paramecium Female 18-29
    268 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 6:20 am
    Umm.. I see nothing wrong with some of those things.

    Maybe except for the balls on the truck (though its funny in a way) and people who fake tan. Whether be a guy or girl. Oh and the i heart penis merchandise.

    So, 7 out of those ten things i see nothing wrong with.

  23. Profile photo of Putzpie
    Putzpie Male 13-17
    199 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 6:37 am
    what about iBooks, iPods or any Apple - dm2754

    They already have a name, mactards.

  24. Profile photo of wtfstfu
    wtfstfu Male 13-17
    112 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 6:39 am
    the i love my penis thing was douche bagy but axe isnt unless u buy it cuz u actually thing women will flock to u and balls under the truck is just retarded so is spray on tan and blue tooth isnt anyworse than ppl who walk around on thier cellfones all day and calvin peeing on things doesnt make u a douchebag it just means u feel strongly about sumthing and to be comedic about it and barbwire tatoo shows wanna be not douche bag and yes the FBI: female body inspector makes u a total douchebag and the watch and necklace r just ugly
  25. Profile photo of IkeRay
    IkeRay Male 18-29
    2704 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 6:41 am
    nothing wrong with axe or bluetooth headphone IF the headset serves a purpose. like my dad who is constantly on the phone for car sales cars while he is driving, or for me when im at the gym so i dont have a cord connecting me to my phone.

    i use axe body wash for the smell, i like it and apparently SOME girls do, but i only use the spray for right after the gym on my gym shorts.

    and the balls, yeah i like to keep a pair of scissors in my car to cut them off when i see them, whats more emasculating then to come out to the truck to realize youve been neutered.

  26. Profile photo of kentton77
    kentton77 Male 30-39
    149 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 7:26 am
    "If I saw a decal of Calvin pissing on Calvin, I think the universe would devour itself." hahaha
  27. Profile photo of kentton77
    kentton77 Male 30-39
    149 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 7:27 am
    and axe sucks
  28. Profile photo of Acatinahat
    Acatinahat Female 13-17
    263 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 7:30 am
    axe smells like crap.
  29. Profile photo of ZeroWing
    ZeroWing Male 13-17
    348 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 7:41 am
    Hahaha. Love it. Especially #2.
  30. Profile photo of Charizzo
    Charizzo Male 18-29
    668 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 7:46 am
    I don`t use Axe Body Spray, but I do use Axe Deodorant. I don`t go all out on my smell, but when I do use cologne, I go for my A&F Ezra cologne(got it as a gift for Christmas). One spray, that`s it.

    As for Bluetooth, a study`s been done saying that it`s more dangerous to use bluetooth then just to talk on the phone itself. Or something like that.

  31. Profile photo of Quik2TheStab
    Quik2TheStab Male 18-29
    661 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 7:50 am
    My dad pinched a nerve with his bluetooth headset. One whole side of his face went numb, and he had to wear an eyepatch. He still uses it, though, because his blackberry is the most difficult phone to use as a phone.
  32. Profile photo of BABY_BEAR
    BABY_BEAR Female 18-29
    1395 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 7:53 am
    >.o car bollocks.
  33. Profile photo of Tekno
    Tekno Female 30-39
    1212 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 8:38 am
    I have earbuds for my cell but my glasses would get in the way of a headset.
  34. Profile photo of GummyWurmz
    GummyWurmz Female 13-17
    1412 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 8:47 am
    I want that penis hoody. Or I love my..nahh :-P
  35. Profile photo of antdow3
    antdow3 Male 18-29
    946 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 8:57 am
    does axe = lynx? i use lynx
  36. Profile photo of Liquidglass
    Liquidglass Male 18-29
    1111 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 9:15 am
    yeah axe = lynx. Personally I enjoy a light spray of it over cologne during the day. It`s a lot less strong. Because a douche bathes in cologne.

    WNLD: Just like the blogger that failed at an attempt to write something funny. You`re trying too hard.


    I`ve never gotten the whole problem with blue tooth headsets. People used to use (and still do sometimes) wired headsets with their cell phones. Did people have a problem with it? No. But remove the wire and add a small blue power light....suddenly you`re the bane of everyones` existence. And a douche according to the retarded monkey who wrote the blog.

  37. Profile photo of CheesyQueso
    CheesyQueso Female 18-29
    2196 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 9:32 am
    just cause axe commercials suck doesnt nescesarily mean the product sucks but i dont really know since im not a guy so i dont use it

    eh this post was alright

  38. Profile photo of angelicamber
    angelicamber Female 18-29
    1572 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 9:48 am
    Truck balls?! Uh WTF
  39. Profile photo of Ashwindow
    Ashwindow Female 18-29
    775 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 10:05 am
    I`ve actually seen balls on a truck before. I laughed and laughed.....
  40. Profile photo of Blakcat71388
    Blakcat71388 Female 18-29
    876 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 10:40 am
    What about those queer hats with the unbent brim and the stickers still on them? That`s pretty douche-y.
  41. Profile photo of jhonmayer1
    jhonmayer1 Male 18-29
    1289 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 10:48 am
    HA my father has...almost all of those =]
  42. Profile photo of dibens
    dibens Male 18-29
    203 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 10:53 am
    What about LIVESTRONG wristbands, faded jeans and flathats?
  43. Profile photo of NOFX14
    NOFX14 Male 18-29
    1141 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 11:07 am
    hahaha I agree with all of these. Just about everyone I know who wheres Axe is a complete douche!
  44. Profile photo of SKASKASKASKA
    SKASKASKASKA Male 18-29
    213 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 11:19 am
    my car gotta them BIIIIG cojones
  45. Profile photo of MarthFador
    MarthFador Female 18-29
    1004 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 11:25 am
    I hate Axe body spray. Not only does it smell horrible, the people that wear it usually have to douse themselves in it!

    I wonder what people will think if a girl wore a `I heart my penis` shirt? I`d guess either `she`s not a girl` or `bad boyfriend joke`

  46. Profile photo of HCPwns95
    HCPwns95 Male 13-17
    7 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 11:37 am
    I heart my penis????? WTF? A person must REALLY be a douchebag.
  47. Profile photo of mandapanda28
    mandapanda28 Female 13-17
    112 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 11:38 am
    extremley accurate list...but what i find most funny is that (mostly) the only people saying axe body spray isnt bad (it is!) are guys..
  48. Profile photo of Lauraly
    Lauraly Female 18-29
    2259 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 11:47 am
    Ok, so I`m a douche because I use Jergens Natural Glow tanning body lotion in the summer. I can`t tan at all; I burn and go straight back to being white so during the summer months I use the lotion to give me a bit of colour. It is actually really subtle and doesn`t turn you orange. At least, not as long as you only use it a couple times a week rather than everyday.
    Also, I turn my boyfriend into a douche because I buy him the Axe deodorant (it`s got a stronger antiperspirant than a lot of other products out there) and the spray. I like the way it smells.

    I`ve got to say there are plenty of things out there that are more douche-y than this list. Spray on bronzer is worse than spray on tan because bronzer is supposed to make you look tan right away and it always looks orange, and as plenty of people have mentioned those baseball caps with the flat brim and stickers (sometimes even the tags) are super douche-y. The Calvin stickers and truck balls are both pretty horrible though.

  49. Profile photo of Lauraly
    Lauraly Female 18-29
    2259 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 11:50 am
    Everyone who hates Axe, I would bet that the reason you do is because a lot of guys who use that stuff spray it on heavily. Some of the scents they have aren`t very good but quite a few smell great when used sparingly... but that`s the same for most colognes.
  50. Profile photo of LoofahBoy
    LoofahBoy Male 18-29
    3301 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 11:53 am
    "Unfortunately, just because Calvin is peeing on global warming doesn`t mean it`ll magically reduce the emissions on your beat up Jeep Cherokee."

    Haha. Well said.

  51. Profile photo of T3h-Wraith
    T3h-Wraith Male 13-17
    645 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 12:10 pm
    I KNEW the Blue-Tooth would be on there, I f***ing hate that thing. The "verbal fart trail of self-importance" line made me lol.
  52. Profile photo of Unbalancing
    Unbalancing Male 13-17
    271 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 12:55 pm
    Hehe, nice. I especially agree with calvin peeing on anything.

    OMG! The page had 3333 digs when I came XD

  53. Profile photo of silly_a1804
    silly_a1804 Female 18-29
    296 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 1:04 pm
    Axe smells like ass. That shet permeates the walls. I used to kick my brother out of my room when i was younger for wearing that crap. thank god he has since stopped wearing it. And my husband knows he aint getting laid if he wears it lol.
  54. Profile photo of 643197
    643197 Male 18-29
    1078 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 1:16 pm
    i hate bluetooth.
  55. Profile photo of Mikeado
    Mikeado Male 18-29
    2159 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 1:45 pm
    Where`s the BMW M3???
  56. Profile photo of Mikeado
    Mikeado Male 18-29
    2159 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 1:46 pm
    Btw, meh.
  57. Profile photo of Mantistador
    Mantistador Male 18-29
    2200 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 2:00 pm
    how does axe make u a douchebag? also... are u saying that Brian Urlacher is a douchebag for having barbed wire tats? if so... you can go to hell...
  58. Profile photo of BikerTeen
    BikerTeen Male 13-17
    2113 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 2:38 pm
    whoo! i don`t have any of them
  59. Profile photo of Groogle
    Groogle Male 30-39
    2172 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 2:40 pm
    My younger sister would totally wear that "I heart my punis" sweater.
  60. Profile photo of January16
    January16 Female 13-17
    233 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 2:41 pm
    Axe sucks. It does not work when you do not take a bath! I want to scream that at high school now. I have a kid in my class that had on Khakis and a pink button up shirt today with the Puka necklace. No lie. LOL! But he is so pretty, like Greek god pretty. But the spray on tans are ugly on guys and girls. I`m glad I have a year round tan. lol
  61. Profile photo of IkeRay
    IkeRay Male 18-29
    2704 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 2:56 pm
    ^^douches typically are the "pretty" guys in high school, but when he opens his mouth, how lame is he?

    and to add to the list, anyone who has any abercrombie or american eagle, old navy used to be douchey but they have SOME things that arent.

    my brother got a shirt for his birthday from american eagle, it was a plain white t-shirt with the little eagle on the sleeve. he went to the mall to see how much it was and the damn shirt was like $20!?!?!?! wth?

    and axe, phoenix is the only good smelling one. basically cologne and perfumes have to combine with the oils from your skin to give a distinct smell, for most people they dont know this and get a terrible smell from the mix, its all about chemistry people...

  62. Profile photo of Tonyjet
    Tonyjet Male 18-29
    3298 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 3:03 pm
    omg thats so true
  63. Profile photo of Charizzo
    Charizzo Male 18-29
    668 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 3:22 pm
    Lol IkeRay. Pheonix is the one I use. Just the deodorant though, not the spray. And I wear all those name-brand clothes. I find the fabric more breathable than WalMart clothing. I despise WalMart anyways. Damn secret monopolizer.
  64. Profile photo of BigBonny
    BigBonny Male 18-29
    2216 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 3:32 pm
    They need to do one of these for Chavs/Scallies/Pikeys in the UK.
  65. Profile photo of luckyse7en
    luckyse7en Male 13-17
    2397 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 4:01 pm
    Axe is for douchebags?
    My friends are douchebags then.
  66. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7935 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 4:04 pm
    I use axe. I am getting a blutooth headset. And I love those balls on trucks. Okay im a douchebag, I accept.

    And axe does work just not exactly how its portrayed in the commercials. But they do get you a "you smell nice"

  67. Profile photo of Cynic8387
    Cynic8387 Male 18-29
    170 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 4:17 pm
    Yeah, I must say I agree with this list 100%. I own none of these items, I`m proud to say.
  68. Profile photo of IceCAPPED
    IceCAPPED Male 13-17
    290 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 4:28 pm
    axe smells okie
  69. Profile photo of Mur-is-bored
    Mur-is-bored Female 13-17
    274 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 4:37 pm
    One of the youth pastors at my church has balls on his truck. I know, that sounds really bad doesn`t it? His son bought them for him as a joke and attached them. Then he couldn`t figure out how to get them off. At first I thought they were deflated balloons, but then his wife told the youth group what they really were. I don`t know why we were talking about balls in church, though.
  70. Profile photo of hedonistic
    hedonistic Male 30-39
    103 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 5:42 pm
    This is a great start to an incomplete list...included could be any pre-roughed hats (think A&F merchandise), popped collars, bleached tips, and crotch-rockets (real mean ride hogs!)
  71. Profile photo of primetimekin
    primetimekin Male 18-29
    7935 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 5:59 pm
    ^^^
    ARE YOU CALLING FONZI A DOUCHEBAG!!!
  72. Profile photo of toans
    toans Male 13-17
    413 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 9:06 pm
    seriously, people who can be bothered to actually do something like this and calling people douchebags are absolute Fuc*^&% douchbags themselves
  73. Profile photo of CheesyQueso
    CheesyQueso Female 18-29
    2196 posts
    March 20, 2008 at 10:46 pm
    Abercrombie and Fitch should be on here

    my friend called someone a douchebag and this girl came and was like whats a douchebag? Is it fashionable? Are they expensive? Where can i get one? so we nodded and she walked away and went up to someone and said I like douchebags

    we were considering telling her to go to abercrombie and fitch and asking for one but we didnt wanna be around her

  74. Profile photo of Declan191919
    Declan191919 Male 13-17
    1275 posts
    March 21, 2008 at 1:12 am
    some of them are fine
  75. Profile photo of Declan191919
    Declan191919 Male 13-17
    1275 posts
    March 21, 2008 at 1:13 am
    Some puny weasly little net nerd obviously made this list.
  76. Profile photo of Declan191919
    Declan191919 Male 13-17
    1275 posts
    March 21, 2008 at 1:14 am
    Whats wrong with the Spray??
  77. Profile photo of Declan191919
    Declan191919 Male 13-17
    1275 posts
    March 21, 2008 at 1:14 am
    =/
  78. Profile photo of jinxiejae
    jinxiejae Female 30-39
    2927 posts
    March 21, 2008 at 11:28 am
    i agree on the blue tooth head set. i hate those damn things!!! you think some one is talking to you and they get all pissy when you answer them and show you the ear piece. not to mention to those of you who have them. you look like your insane having a conversation with yourself. if you need hands free get on that has a mike coming around to your mouth. at least that way they can see that maybe you talking to someone else.
  79. Profile photo of xKaleigh
    xKaleigh Female 13-17
    93 posts
    March 21, 2008 at 11:48 am
    LMAO 100% correct.
    ahahaah everytime i smell axe i want to run and hide. D: D:
  80. Profile photo of gorgokid333
    gorgokid333 Male 13-17
    227 posts
    March 21, 2008 at 2:20 pm
    the funny/sad thing is, I was wearing an "FBI" shirt when reading this.
  81. Profile photo of Discomonkey
    Discomonkey Male 13-17
    1361 posts
    March 23, 2008 at 11:27 am
    have it
    have it
    have it
    have it
    have it
    have it
    have it
    have it
    have it
    have it

    i dont really and yes i`ve used this gag before

  82. Profile photo of risadanielle
    risadanielle Female 18-29
    21 posts
    March 24, 2008 at 2:26 am
    Good grief...I think almost every guy in my town wears those stupid shell necklaces...

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