The Bizarre Origins of Christmas

Submitted by: fancylad 9 years ago in Funny
http://www.cracked.com/article_15719_pagan-orgies-human-sacrifice-bizarre-origins-christmas.html

Christmas wasn"t handed down as a fully-formed holiday. It"s a rich tapestry woven from countless pointless customs.
There are 26 comments:
Male 274
i agree with you Jeff hes not that funny
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Female 204
this is why i only celebrate the epiphany XD
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Male 271
So how did people ever make the connection between the poo stick plant and romance? It goes back to the pagan belief that the white, sticky goo from the berries was the semen of the gods.


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Lol...funniest pic I`ve seen in awhile...

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Male 174
Funny. This is what I tell kids & teachers alike when I go to school and they ask why I don`t celebrate Christmas.
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Male 195
well, i cant sam i mind. I like this version of christmas much more than the old one, cuz now i get presents!
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Female 13
i don`t really like how they put down pagans. I`m a pagan it hurts my feelings *starts to sob uncontrolably*
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Male 63
Ah, another thing for Liberals to complain about Christmas. It looks and sounds like a bunch of crap.
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Male 516
"So, back then Christmas wasn`t "get a new Xbox day." It was, "you don`t have to become a filthy whore day." While it could be argued that this basically makes Nicholas the anti-pimp, we prefer to think of him as the Bible`s answer to Travis Bickle."

Ah, that was f*cking brilliant!

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Female 961
And how about the fact that I tried to bring these truths to my mother in laws attention abuot 4 weeks ago
(like he wasnt born in our winter, he was born int he anceint tax days- hence their being no room at the inn, and the reason they had to travel== and then dec 25th was picked so thatearly christians wouldnt be killed for their beliefs and they could disguise it as celebrating somthing "legal")

Anyway, I brought this to her attention and she told me I wasnt allowed to come to christmas dinner.
...isnt that great

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Female 223
So, back then Christmas wasn`t "get a new Xbox day." It was, "you don`t have to become a filthy whore day."

I was surprised to learn that a women wrote that article. I like her sense o` humor. Yeah, christmas has turned into something that it never really intended to be. Oh well.

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Male 281
Eh, I know one thing. Jesus would hate me if I celebrated Christmas. Good thing I don`t...
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Female 1,063
Also, aren`t you `celebrating` if you are sitting there with everyone else, smiling, laughing, and holding your hands out for yet `another` gift? Thats seems to be `celebrating` to me. If you DONT, then go to your room and watch TV or something that way you will be completely out of the `celebration` loop!
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Female 1,063
It`s Christmas for Christ Sakes! (lol)

On another note, I do believe in the dude above (whatta miracle eh?) and I think it is about the traditional birth of Jesus. Why does everyone have to go oevrboard? Its supposed to be a time of caring and being with family. If I had my way I wouldn`t give anyone anything. It would be about being with the ones I care for and helping those who need it. Yes its cheesy but I don`t give a sh*t. Those other stories are a bunch of BS, but thats just my opinion.

CheesyQueso: I know you don`t care and all but you don`t deserve a f*cking thing. You are very selfish.

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Male 576
I`m so astonished by the lack of violence on the North Men`s part when that religious bigot chopped down their "God of Thunder" tree. They should have opened a can of "Viking woop ass." (which is in fact just a can of human blood)
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Female 2,196
i dont really care as long as i get free gifts for no reason especially since i dont celebrate =D
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Female 1,002
It only really became an excuse for companies to advertise their toys and sell them like crazy when Coca Cola made it popular worldwide.
Amazing what one company can do...
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Female 88
You see? Christmas is a bunch of BS.
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Male 2,160
(god spoken as a expression,i believe in gods)
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Male 2,160
god i love being a modern day pagan=D
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Male 151
does it really matter, nobody cares about what christmas means anymore, it`s just a bit of harmless fun. It makes people happy, why not
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Male 22
It`s no shock that Christmas is a hoax and just as useless as every other commercial holiday that exists.
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Male 4,246
From the top of the article: "Pagan Orgies to Human Sacrifice: The Bizarre Origins of Christmas
By Kristi Harrison"
From the bottom of the article: "Kristi Harrison is a mother of three who writes for HereInIdaho.com."

JeffHatesYou, congrats on proving yourself to be the IAB Douchebag Of The Day.

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Female 831
and then the white people came over to the Americas and killed the Indians for doing the same things...??!??!
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Male 205
The writer`s not nearly as funny as he thinks he is.
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Male 56
howdy doodley dooo! first post - weeeeee!

kinda cool article

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Male 20,301
Link: The Bizarre Origins of Christmas [Rate Link] - Christmas wasn`t handed down as a fully-formed holiday. It`s a rich tapestry woven from countless pointless customs.
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