The 5 Least Surprising Toy Recalls of All Time

Submitted by: fancylad 9 years ago in Funny
http://www.cracked.com/article_15764_5-least-surprising-toy-recalls-all-time.html

Let"s take a moment to remember some of the great toy recalls that we all probably should have seen coming a mile away.
There are 79 comments:
Female 1,441
I had an EasyBake oven. It was intresting at first use but after I realised I could only make cakes and muffins the size of quarter it lost its charm...
0
Reply
Female 198
I had everything but the cabbage patch doll and the lawn darts, and I was just fine.
I used to live in the United Arab Emirates, and I ate Kinder eggs constantly. The toys inside are contained in an egg. How the fudgemonkeys do you choke on that? You`d have to open it, then eat the stuff inside. Dumb American children.
0
Reply
Male 92
am i the only 1 freaked aout the red eyed demon dolls?
0
Reply
Female 108
ok china is the real killer. wats wit them and lead?
0
Reply
Female 1,299
american kids are stupid. i mean kinder eggs? yeh, they`re a danger to you sanity cos they dont fckin OPEN, but they are far too big to choke on (maybe american kids have wide throats from all that food?)
0
Reply
Male 791
umm... wow, i am embarassed.. the sky dancer toy was a girl`s toy?... no wonder i like the color pink.
0
Reply
Female 105
what the f*ck I GOT LAWN DARTS FOR CHRISTMAS!
0
Reply
Female 2,695
also, my sister and i had an easy bake oven. it was damned amazing.
0
Reply
Female 2,695
i loved sky dancers! i was never hurt by one!
0
Reply
Female 1,470
I had every single one of those toys except the lawn darts.
My fudgeing parents were smart enough not to by those peaces of shyt
0
Reply
Male 500
Ha ha ha, I liked the American numpty whining that the rest of the world thinks they are stupid because they are so great that they are always in the public eye! As if us Europeans never take an interest in Europe or the rest of the World for that matter because we just can`t keep our eyes off America. That`s one of the stupidest things I`ve ever read. I hate Kinder eggs, but just about everyone in Europe has tried them and they`ve been around for decades. Not ONE report of someone mistaking the huge plastic inner egg for food. Still, with all the cack the yanks continuously stuff into their faces, easy mistake to make eh fellas?
0
Reply
Female 252
Wow...look at all the lonely people posting on Christmas day...jk
"Dangerous" toys teach common sense.
0
Reply
Female 195
my kid loves kinder eggs, as did i when i was little. i see myself as overprotective (with reason) but he has them lol. ive not known a kid to shove the whole thing into their mouths :/
0
Reply
Male 756
I will pay 1000 Dinar (Iraqi) right now for some Lawn Darts.
0
Reply
Male 1,275
They really should have known but I had kinder surprisers when I was young. I just realised now they really are dangorous.
0
Reply
Female 215
i dont get the kinder eggs.. I LUV THEM..!!!
and there not recalled ne more ... thre sold at our mall!!!!


i had an ez bake oven... the kids get hurt cuz the parents dont help.. gosh! there are supposed to!!!!!!!!!!!

0
Reply
Female 239
Am I the only person that refers to Kinder Eggs as Kinder Surprise? I had no idea that they were banned in the US. The dancers weren`t really that bad aside from those times they would hit me in the face or something like that. I had an easy bake oven too, although I managed to break it before I got around to burning myself. :-(

...But I always knew that Cabbage Patch Kids were evil. You can see it in their eyes...

0
Reply
Male 2,199
"Of course, the reality is that it takes about three minutes for kids to grow bored with the actual game and for someone to dare someone else to stand over the target and try to catch the dart in his teeth."
LOL!!!! yea... the child generations in america are getting dumber and dumber. Even chocolate would be a choking hazard if it didnt melt as fast as it does...
0
Reply
Female 675
AND i had an easy bake oven, yea i burned myself but not badly enough to sue. i mean really any parent who is gonna give there kid an OVEN has to know the child will learn to not touch hot things at an early age. and my friend who has the most over-protective mother in the world got a creepy crawler thing and shes fine. the lawn darts we played with in PE like 2 years ago. and we had a sky dancer thingy in daycare! and NOBODY died
0
Reply
Female 32
that made me nostalgic :(

i had a sky dancer! but i dont think it ever worked :(

0
Reply
Female 675
as far as i know the kinder eggs arent. i had one like two years ago. i used to eat them all the time when i lived in italy. lol my landlord would bring em to me, and i was like 2 or 3! and im still here today. 13 years later
0
Reply
Male 404
WTF?
I love Kinder eggs!
They come with drating warnings on them, why would you give one to a little kid?
0
Reply
Male 901
Now that I think about it, the only way to easily open kinder egg surprises is to use your mouth.

Now THAT`S clever!

0
Reply
Female 393
lol i have 4 sky dancers--btw theyre awsomee and my grandma has lawn darts which she used to let me play with like 4 years ago even though they could go right through your body--oucchhh
0
Reply
Male 1,550
Lawn Darts -

"They issued a recall alert that, not only called for a ban, but also ordered any remaining darts be destroyed on sight like they were bloodthirsty zombies roaming the streets in search of kids to puncture."

ROFL

0
Reply
Male 162
A sky dancer pwned my sister in the face approximately 5 seconds after she opened the box. I nearly laughed my self into a coma.
0
Reply
Male 604
drat I LOVE KINDER EGGS? They`re banned here. drat drat drat drat drat!
0
Reply
Female 62
kinder egg has been in the uk forever. yeah u do sometimes need to bite on it. i was obsessed with them as a kid. theyre sooo yummy.
0
Reply
Female 221
I LOVED Sky Dancers!! Yes, I got hit a few times, but so what? Hahahaa kids these days are so overprotected.... *shakes head* Haha not really... I heard *so* many horror stories about that Cabbage Patch doll.... yikes.
0
Reply
Female 697
I had two of those five toys and they never harmed me.
I remember when I had that flying fairy things I`d purposly let it twirl on its stand a bit and have the foam propellers brush my face but I was smart enough to know not to get hit with it.
And that Easy-Bake Oven... If something is hot... why touch it?

Children are stupid.

0
Reply
Female 82
NOOO! Not Sky Dancers! I had like twenty of them as a kid, but once my brother and I got in a fight and he cut all the strings off! Now I`ll never be able to get my collection back T__T

I had the Easy Bake and Creep Crawlies as well but Mom supervized me and sis whenever we played with those.

We also had this kit were you painted bits of glass and made your own glass flower arrangements.

Yeah I got hit in the face by all my Sky Dancers, burned by the oven and all my home lab kits, I got cut up by glass, I have had paint in my eyes, and have overall had the crap beat outta me by my toys, but I SURVIVED.

And I never put toys in my mouth either even as a toddler...I suppose I had more brains than the average child here >.<

0
Reply
Male 27
Kinder eggs are/were/will always be so good. I`ve probably had more than 100 in my life and never chocked on anything.

the fact of the matter is, if anyone chocked or died on those things its that the parents were to stupid to teach their kids NOT to eat plastic in the first place, and you only need to have

0
Reply
Male 1,287
When I used to work in I.T., people coming back from our sister office in Celle, Germany used to bring back Kinder Eggs by the boatload. I loved assembling the little toys inside. The chocolate wasn`t too bad, either.

My wife and I actually had a couple of Sky Dancers we played with. The goal is to pull on the ripcord as hard and fast as possible while simultaneously aiming the launcher at your enemy. A good pull would shoot out at around 30 mph.

Good times.

0
Reply
Female 69
Sometimes,I`m ashamed to live in this country. *shakes head* Who`s stupid enough to put toys in their mouth? Those Kinder Eggs sound tasty, but I`ll never be able to eat one due to the idiotic fat kids that live in America. Oh well. I had an Easy Bake and a flying fairy thing when I was younger. When I got hit with the fairy, I laughed and then moved away from it. I never did get burned with my Easy Bake though. Didn`t even know that they were banned! Stupid kids.
0
Reply
Female 1,589
Most of these toys arn`t even dangerous...I think American kids are just stupid. XD C`mon, any toy can be dangerous if you AIM it at a person`s face. I played with the little fairy things while pointing in a direction where no one was standing...and I didn`t even had to be told to do that. The Kinder Surprise thing is just dumb. I would rather have a toy that I can play with rather then swallowing the parts.
0
Reply
Female 71
hahahahaa,
that was so funny.
I had an easy bake oven.
i never managed to shove my fingers in there.
maybe im just smart.
or maybe i had fat fingers.....
0
Reply
Male 407
Who the crap is AKappy D:.
0
Reply
Female 2,196
they only hurt you if youre stupid
0
Reply
Female 94
i had a sky dancer, and easy bake oven and that creepy crawly workshop.... and my parents watched me do the last two, cause they werent retards i was around 5 ish and the sky dancer i didnt put my face in front of it or aim it at anyone, it went over the fence and the neighbors dog chewed it up :(
0
Reply
Female 579
KINDER EGGS ARE LOVE!!!

Yeah, Am. kids probably would just shovel the whole thing into their mouth, but ... I LURVE KINDAR EGGZ! XD

And as for eating the little bits on the inside of the yellow plastic tub (which yeah, was DAMN TOUGH to fricken` open XD), why the hell would someone let their kid eat the bits inside?? Why would a kid eat the bits inside anyway? Any kid at the age when they WOULD eat the bits inside shouldn`t be on their own with it. *sigh*

I wanna go out and get a kinder egg now XD Or maybe, just eat my christmas present of THORNTONS CHOCOLATE *in heaven* XD

Merry Xmas!

0
Reply
Female 1,545
And to the UKers who`re all like, "What`s wrong with the Kinder Egg?!" I refer you to this sentence:

"Americans kids probably wouldn`t even take the time to unwrap the thing before shoveling it into their mouths."

Which, when speaking of today`s children, is probably true.

I had one when I was in Germany, and I loved every moment of it. I`m sad that the obese children of my country ruined it for me.

0
Reply
Male 10,440
^ I agree ^ This entire article is a load of bs. The guy who wrote it is a complete moron.
0
Reply
Female 223
Oh, and also, only an american kid would be stupid enough to swallow the kinder egg toy.
(I LOVE KINDER EGGS.)
0
Reply
Female 1,545
I owned three of the five things on that list.

And like October God said, I got smacked in the face by my Sky Dancer. I even used it as a weapon. So what? I`m still alive.
My Easy Bake Oven burned me a couple times, but you know what? I`m still alive. And now I know that REAL ovens can burn MUCH worse.

The Cabbage Patch Kid was demonic though... Scared the Jesus out of me.

0
Reply
Female 223
problem is, you know, kids nowdays are pussies. when my sky dancer hit me in the face did I cry? hell no. we didn`t even wear knee pads rollerskating, know why? `coz we were BADA$$, that`s why. we didn`t whine when we fell down or cry about our girly little easy-bake ovens. that`s why kids today grow up so off base- their parents pamper them too much. let your kid get lawn-darted once or twice! what the heck could possible happen??

..and also, yeah, the creepy crawlers oven was ten times more awsome then easy-bake. I personally had both creepy crawlers AND that girly oven that made fleshy little dolls.

0
Reply
Female 1,426
I love Kinder eggs! I get them whenever I go to Germany, and my German relatives send them to me. :-D
0
Reply
Female 49
Kinder Eggs are the best things ever!!!
0
Reply
Female 235
as for the skydancers...they never caused me much harm. a few bruises, and that`s about it. didn`t exactly stop me from playing with them.

0
Reply
Female 239
I remember asking for the Cabbage Patch Kid Snacktime doll for Christmas a long time ago... I also remember being totally heartbroken when my mom said that she couldn`t get one because "they stopped selling them". Now that I think of it,I asked for Skydancers AND the Easy Bake Oven for Christmas when I was little also.... I was dangerous!
0
Reply
Female 235
how the hell is a kinder egg dangerous? we`ve had them for years over in the uk and they never caused trouble like that. how stupid...

yes, maybe the packaging was in german, but you could still tell there was SOMETHING inside, because you could hear it rattling inside!

stupid, STUPID, people...

0
Reply
Female 147
T-T SKY DANCERS WERE RECALLED?

In my oblivious childhood, I never asked why Daddy took away my favorite toy, or why he never bought me another one.

Curses.

0
Reply
Female 269
hoorah for kinder eggs.
I still get them sometimes :D
And i used to have a skydancer i loved it :D
0
Reply
Female 26
I don`t think they`re meaning the case around the toy, I think they`re meaning the toy in it. You had to make it, yeah? So it`s full of small pieces.

I however, also could not open the eggy case without pressing one half with my teeth. But I loved making the toy inside it.

0
Reply
Female 158
Nearly had a lawn dart impale me once, the set went straight in the bin afterwards. Really though, how do Americans eat the toy inside the egg?! It`s like the size of a ping-pong ball for Christ`s sake! We`ve never had a problem with them in Europe.
0
Reply
Male 442
I never knew kinder eggs were banned in the US, I had loads of them as a child
0
Reply
Male 223
Its true how the drat did americans eat the toy inside the egg.. Its been a european success but when it falls into the americans hands it goes to poo.

Oh well atleast ive never seen a lawn dart :D

0
Reply
Male 151
i cant believe kinder egg is banned in the U.S. It`s a fun little toy inside a chocolate egg its drating huge, how could you swallow that?
0
Reply
Male 203
Lawn darts don`t kill people. People do
0
Reply
Male 1,348
The easy bake oven was nothing!! The creepy crawler workshop was a hundred times worse. It made you handle super heated lead slabs that contained molten plastic. Thats what I played with back in the 80`s. That and spent countless hours playing with water wiggle that was recalled for killing a bunch of kids. I personally had that thing wrap around my neck a number of times. Those toys built character. Now all they got is this wussy sh*t!
0
Reply
Female 159
BITCH, easy bake was the drating best toy ever! The ones who are stupid enough to stick their fingers in the easy-bake are the ones who should die.
0
Reply
Female 223
Sky dancers!!1
I had two! I miss them so! (I wonder where they are.. *goes a-serachin`*)
0
Reply
Female 345
Hrhr ... those Kinder eggs are sold here for decades and we`ve still got children. Then again statistics say we get fewer and fewer kids. Must be them darn eggs that kill them!!!1 I can vividly imagine a fat kid pushing the whole thing into his face without even removing the wrapper ... and his mother calling a lawyer before considering to help her child *G*.

Seriously though, those are all incidents were due to parents who are too stupid to do their duty. Can`t blame the manufacturers for everything. What happened to parents` common sense? Not every toy is intended to be used by a 1 year old without supervision. Well, except for the TV of course. Nothing bad can come from putting your child in front of the TV 24/7 ...

0
Reply
Female 691
and omg, AKappy has reappeared.
0
Reply
Female 691
i had loads of kinder eggs and never tried to eat the toy i just threw it away. and i had a sky dancer it was my fave non-Plush toy
0
Reply
Male 2,616
My wrists are extremely powerful... at least, my right one is.
0
Reply
Male 513

^I don`t think a limp wrist counts as a degenerative muscle disease.
0
Reply
Male 2,616
"What does not kill you, will only make you stronger"

What if it`s some kind of degenerative muscle disease? I heard that Easy Bake Ovens were passing a lot of those around.

0
Reply
Male 1,407
Kinder eggs are great.
0
Reply
Male 4,012
ManilaRose - "What does not kill you, will only make you stronger"

AKappy, if your dad`s concerns weren`t about a burnt finger, you have more to think about. *flirt*

0
Reply
Female 14
`...they tore open the box with their teeth and hands like a lion pouncing on a weak, marshmallow-filled antelope.` lol XD
0
Reply
Male 513

^Akappy... the evidence keeps piling up, doesn`t it.lol
0
Reply
Male 602
I hate those friggin` kinder surprises. The toy was cool and all but the case for it was impossible to open. I`d press on one end with my mouth to get it open. THAT`s probably the reason why they stopped making it. Also the chocolate tasted bad, milk on outside, white on inside...ew.
0
Reply
Male 2,616
I had an Easy Bake Oven. No wonder my dad cried so much.
0
Reply
Male 513

Then the Nightshifter erases the static.
My movements become less erratic.
Fun lovin`, Funk fanatic.
Fueled by a healthy dose of chronic.
0
Reply
Female 192
LOL I loved Skydancers when I was much younger, I`ve been wondering why I haven`t been able to find them. I also had an Easy Bake Oven, holy crap. I was living a dangerous childhood.
0
Reply
Female 302
I had #3 and #2 when I was little.
Never got hurt or anything from them, though. :]
0
Reply
Male 2,616
I was almost killed by lawn darts. Thanks for bringing up my terrifying past.
0
Reply
Male 4,012
Damn, I was expecting 5 made-in-China lead infested toys.

But these toys were bad too. I wish they had pictures.

0
Reply
Male 20,196
Link: The 5 Least Surprising Toy Recalls of All Time [Rate Link] - Let`s take a moment to remember some of the great toy recalls that we all probably should have seen coming a mile away.
0
Reply