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Category: Entertainment
Date: 11/07/07 02:32 AM

80 Responses to Sci-Fi Inventions That Would Suck in Real Life

  1. Profile photo of fancylad
    fancylad Male 30-39
    18928 posts
    November 6, 2007 at 10:29 pm
    Link: Sci-Fi Inventions That Would Suck in Real Life - Remember all those sci-fi gadgets that looked so cool? Turns out looking cool is all they`d be good for.
  2. Profile photo of PhoenixPhata
    PhoenixPhata Male 13-17
    280 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 2:37 am
    Yay 404!
  3. Profile photo of kosmix
    kosmix Female 18-29
    1 post
    November 7, 2007 at 2:38 am
    Please check this page. I didn`t find anything there.
  4. Profile photo of AKappy
    AKappy Male 18-29
    2616 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 2:38 am
    Is the sci-fi gadget in question here... the internet?
  5. Profile photo of Berserk505
    Berserk505 Male 18-29
    411 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 2:45 am
    turns out this link looking cool is all its good for.
  6. Profile photo of TheShape
    TheShape Male 30-39
    568 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 2:48 am
    You Fail. Get out. :-P
  7. Profile photo of AK-047
    AK-047 Male 13-17
    270 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 2:55 am
    Blarg bad link!
  8. Profile photo of Kaizer250
    Kaizer250 Male 18-29
    777 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 3:20 am
    Yes, 404 pages do indeed suck in real life.
  9. Profile photo of upendy
    upendy Female 13-17
    1211 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 3:22 am
    That was so cool.
  10. Profile photo of AnwarNova
    AnwarNova Male 18-29
    2076 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 3:43 am
    fail, dead link
  11. Profile photo of skydiver89
    skydiver89 Male 13-17
    97 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 3:53 am
    Epic Fail
  12. Profile photo of derangedingo
    derangedingo Male 13-17
    810 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 3:56 am


    Poop!


  13. Profile photo of derangedingo
    derangedingo Male 13-17
    810 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 3:58 am
    Look at the bright side, everyone, we could make the comments non-boring if everyone said a Chuck Norris joke!

    Chuck Norris has two keys on his keyboard, 1 and 0

    When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Say Please"

  14. Profile photo of Lost_In_Time
    Lost_In_Time Male 18-29
    317 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 4:04 am
    ^ How about no.
  15. Profile photo of KMeTG
    KMeTG Male 18-29
    1265 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 5:31 am
    Worked for me.
  16. Profile photo of llamaseacow
    llamaseacow Male 13-17
    572 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 6:14 am
    hahahahahahha that was sooooo funny i literaly loled xD!!!!!
  17. Profile photo of popchic
    popchic Female 13-17
    226 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 6:44 am
    worked for me too, but i wish i didnt. All my daydreams have just gone down the drain...
  18. Profile photo of Kyur
    Kyur Male 18-29
    896 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 6:52 am
    I disagree with pretty much everything on that page. Especially the teleporters. He is going merely on the atom teleporters but what if we could somehow make a wormhole, wallah, problem solved.

    Then the flying car is stupid because if it were running souly off of auto pilot there wouldn`t be any accidents or traffic jams because it`s a computer and knows exactly what to do. Of course the auto-pilot I am thinking of isn`t the same as the ones planes use, it`s more advance.

  19. Profile photo of Tomolenko
    Tomolenko Male 13-17
    259 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 6:56 am
    Boring.
  20. Profile photo of Pabasa
    Pabasa Male 18-29
    4012 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 7:04 am
    Awww goddamit. I was so looking forward to jetpacks :(
  21. Profile photo of Kyur
    Kyur Male 18-29
    896 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 7:23 am
    No you`re boring blue ranger!
  22. Profile photo of VikingGuy
    VikingGuy Male 18-29
    2160 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 8:00 am
    hmmm...i´d just break my transporter and make me a few copies of my gf}-)
  23. Profile photo of Imeagla
    Imeagla Male 18-29
    138 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 8:11 am
    And it worked for this guy...

    Anyone else notice that was off of Cracked Magazine?

    And Viking Guy? Clone your girlfriend. No, no, no. You got it all wrong. You simply have to find a girlfriend -for- your girlfriend.

    It`s so much easier that way.

  24. Profile photo of Imeagla
    Imeagla Male 18-29
    138 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 8:12 am
    Oh, and. I own all of these things. Three jetpacks, actually.

    And a ray gun...

    And a vivid imagination.

  25. Profile photo of mbaxter
    mbaxter Male 18-29
    96 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 8:34 am
    I still want them all....

    They`d all still be cool if only a few people had them.

  26. Profile photo of paigan
    paigan Female 18-29
    66 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 8:34 am
    i actually quite enjoyed that...
  27. Profile photo of Manar
    Manar Male 30-39
    196 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 8:39 am
    "Then the flying car is stupid because if it were running souly off of auto pilot there wouldn`t be any accidents or traffic jams because it`s a computer and knows exactly what to do. "

    You do realise that most of its software would be programmed by Microsoft as soon as they realise there is a market. It will give the words `your computer just crashed` a whole new meaning.

  28. Profile photo of HI-haole
    HI-haole Male 18-29
    606 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 8:49 am
    ^^^HAHA... Exactly!!!... if someone wanted to "off you" they wouldn`t need a car bomb... just a computer virus.
  29. Profile photo of Whitemn
    Whitemn Male 18-29
    155 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 8:52 am
    I disagree with most except holodecks, they would indeed make ppl with no lives even worse. But mostly i disaggree with replicators, can make everything u need, all the food u want w/o worrying about calories/fat/sugar since it can pretty much take out the harmful stuff.

    That would be best invention. Create hydrogen for fuel cars, tree`s, water, that site is totally off.

  30. Profile photo of kooshi_govno
    kooshi_govno Male 70 & Over
    313 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 9:28 am
    hahaha, a beautiful representation of the futile attempts of humans to make life easier
  31. Profile photo of Ajikan
    Ajikan Male 18-29
    1526 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 9:55 am
    i remember a few years ago when people though the internet would just be a fad and "whats it suposed to be good for?". there have always ben dumb backwards people talking trash about usefull things.
  32. Profile photo of Itsdude56
    Itsdude56 Male 13-17
    888 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 10:01 am
    its funny cause its true!
  33. Profile photo of lmaonaise
    lmaonaise Male 13-17
    773 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 10:55 am
    i still want a holodeck and a jet pack. ill make one if i have to
  34. Profile photo of LadyAlathia
    LadyAlathia Female 18-29
    151 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 11:11 am
    I want to cry.
    My Trekkie-ness is hurt. -_-

    I want Teleporter. I want Replicator. I want Holodeck.

    Keep your damned Flying Cars and Jetpacks. They reek of suck anyway.

  35. Profile photo of WDanC
    WDanC Male 18-29
    410 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 11:13 am
    Kyur . . . . it`s called satire. Please, please go out and do something!
  36. Profile photo of EstiloPanama
    EstiloPanama Female 18-29
    2074 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 11:26 am
    The writer was awesome. Great article.
  37. Profile photo of lenashawitz
    lenashawitz Male 18-29
    134 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 11:46 am
    i understand the problem with the matter replicator, but if we can make anything, why would we need jobs?
    so who cares if all jobs are lost
    doctors wont even need to charge, because they dont need money, no one does... i think its a good idea
    and with the teleporter.. as long as i works, who cares if you technically died, youre the same person at the other end
    and as long as the auto pilot on the flying cars is effecient, then why not
    and who cares about jet packs when you have a flying car?
    i agree with the holo thing tho, that already happens, and not even in a fully holo environment, just warcraft
    but i suppose if it were limited or something
  38. Profile photo of fuzzygreen
    fuzzygreen Female 18-29
    21 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 12:36 pm
    "i think its a good idea
    and with the teleporter.. as long as i works, who cares if you technically died, youre the same person at the other end"

    But you`re not. He`s saying that when you step into that thing, you die, and then something that looks exactly like you with all your memories steps out of the other end, a completely new life. It`s not you personally, just a copy of you.

  39. Profile photo of IkeRay
    IkeRay Male 18-29
    2704 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 1:29 pm
    I disagree with pretty much everything on that page. Especially the teleporters. He is going merely on the atom teleporters but what if we could somehow make a wormhole, wallah, problem solved.

    Then the flying car is stupid because if it were running souly off of auto pilot there wouldn`t be any accidents or traffic jams because it`s a computer and knows exactly what to do. Of course the auto-pilot I am thinking of isn`t the same as the ones planes use, it`s more advance.

    i actually agree with you, on both accounts. we will actually need to discover wormholes eventually so as to travel across the universe, so why not use them in our own backyard (as one would say).

    and i have been telling people for years about how GPS systems will eventually produce self driving car. once everyone has one, THEN we can talk about flying cars.

  40. Profile photo of IkeRay
    IkeRay Male 18-29
    2704 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 1:33 pm
    i would much rather be a passenger in a self driving car than have to worry about people hitting me. driving would then be solely replaced by go cart places or hell, holodecks where you can race to your hearts desire. imagine having to drive from new york to philidelphia, would you rather sit behind a wheel and concentrate on what you`re doing, or take a nap/watch a movie/read a book/finish a work project? a self driving car would be like taking an airplane, except the pilot would be a computer, and you would be on the ground, also, you dont have to deal with airport security.

    the teleporter made me think of the movie "the illusionist" (i think thats the one, or the prestige) where the guy has a teleporter that creates a copy of him. it makes you worried for your life, but then again, who cares, once we die of old age anyways, our existance is over....

  41. Profile photo of IkeRay
    IkeRay Male 18-29
    2704 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 1:38 pm
    finally (yes i promise), the replicator would create a utopia, which is the human race`s goal anyways, right? no need for money, thus no need for theft. and if you combined the holodeck with the replicator, who needs a "virtual simulation" of scarlet johanson if you can have your own replication of her? someone has a failing liver, replicate a healthy one.

    the only reason that none of these things will never happen, especially the replicator, is because humans are greedy bastards. someone would rather create something to make money than to help society, hence why drugs dont cure things, just put them in a dormant state.

  42. Profile photo of SonicLover
    SonicLover Male 18-29
    22 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 2:03 pm
    Can anyone say "thinking too much"?
  43. Profile photo of XxSpeedy
    XxSpeedy Male 13-17
    274 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 2:24 pm
    it works now
  44. Profile photo of Jowsh
    Jowsh Male 18-29
    1237 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 2:25 pm
    i find this interesting and disheartening

    am i the only one who cringes a bit when someone says `wallah`? ..

  45. Profile photo of rel123
    rel123 Male 18-29
    13 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 2:35 pm
    Awesome Awesome article. Cracked.com comes through again :-)
  46. Profile photo of RecycleElf
    RecycleElf Male 18-29
    3621 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 2:52 pm

    okey then derangedingo...

    when Chuck Norris junps into the water, he dosn`t get wet. the water gets Chuck Norris!

    back to the link.
    I`ve been thinking about most of these things, and their realy just super duper true!

  47. Profile photo of NoGoodIdeas
    NoGoodIdeas Male 13-17
    125 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 3:03 pm
    @fuzzygreen

    If it`s an exact copy of you, it copies your brain. If your brain is copied, your personality is copied.

  48. Profile photo of omgitssam
    omgitssam Male 13-17
    384 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 3:09 pm
    i still want them
  49. Profile photo of Pinkies
    Pinkies Female 13-17
    679 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 3:56 pm
    I want that virtual room! Not sure bout the teleport and flying cars though.
  50. Profile photo of shinu
    shinu Male 18-29
    1387 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 4:00 pm
    rofl!
    "The end of everything will come on the day when anyone can make anything. Except a flying car, those will still be useless"
    poor useless flying car :(
  51. Profile photo of AFTERSHOCK
    AFTERSHOCK Male 18-29
    2782 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 4:48 pm
    I WANT A BADASS LIGHTSABER!!!
  52. Profile photo of Accurs3ds0ul
    Accurs3ds0ul Male 13-17
    272 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 4:48 pm
    But would a flying car truly be useless if everyone but you thinks they are? They`d all be on the ground, and you`d be up in the air. Screw them.
  53. Profile photo of Manar
    Manar Male 30-39
    196 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 5:01 pm
    @NoGoodIdeas

    If you step through the teleporter then on the other side a copy of you will emerge with your looks, thought, personality and everything that can be copied from you. However it would not be you. You would already have been dismantled atom by atom. You will not see what that copy sees, because there are no link from him to you, and no brain left on you to process the image. The only thing you will see is a long tunnel, and a white light. (perhaps, if you belive in that stuff)

  54. Profile photo of Manar
    Manar Male 30-39
    196 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 5:06 pm
    I have thought a bit about the teleporter problem though and think there just might be a solution. If the teleporter is very slow and very exact, then it can delete/recreate parts of your brain and still keep it whole. It will need to send every impulse that the brain sends, back and forth between the old brain and the new to keep them as a single object until all of the old brain is gone and the new one is fully created. Then what is in the new body ought to still be you, i think.
  55. Profile photo of R_U_Kidding
    R_U_Kidding Male 18-29
    4246 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 5:09 pm
    I still say a holodeck would be the best. Moderation would be key, of course, but still...a game of poker with Newton, Einstein, and Hawking? Jell-O wrestling with as many Jessicas as you can handle? Blasting the hell out of the Covenant, using (almost) REAL needlers & plasma swords? Come on!
  56. Profile photo of BabiiGirl93
    BabiiGirl93 Female 13-17
    441 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 6:49 pm
    I luv Cracked!!!!! <3
  57. Profile photo of TheGrag
    TheGrag Male 13-17
    1497 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 7:17 pm
    i wants a replicator.... i can make anything i wanted... maybe even a not so slutty looking virgin paris holton, wait thats impossible, she was never a virgin...
  58. Profile photo of BigWaFuu
    BigWaFuu Male 18-29
    1163 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 7:23 pm
    great read.
  59. Profile photo of eatspaste
    eatspaste Male 13-17
    64 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 8:34 pm
    That was the most witty thing I`ve read all week.
  60. Profile photo of TonyGCleff
    TonyGCleff Male 18-29
    179 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 9:11 pm
    some are obvious, and they failed to mention that #3 was in X-men as well. Other than that, pretty good
  61. Profile photo of AnwarNova
    AnwarNova Male 18-29
    2076 posts
    November 7, 2007 at 11:55 pm
    too subjective. lot of his stuff is debatable.
  62. Profile photo of mingchies
    mingchies Male 13-17
    18 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 12:23 am
    For the site, lame, im not gonna let sum guy that overanalyzes things and take it too far ruin my childhood.
    On another note
    Chuck Norris doesn`t get wet..
    The water gets Chuck Norris`d.
  63. Profile photo of swtdreams285
    swtdreams285 Female 18-29
    1408 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 12:39 am
    I always liked the idea of a teleporter (no more airline waits and delays ^_^)
  64. Profile photo of GuinnesApple
    GuinnesApple Female 18-29
    41 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 1:22 am
    "i agree with the holo thing tho, that already happens, and not even in a fully holo environment, just warcraft"

    lol no kidding.
    That would be awesome if you could link other peoples holodecks with your own and you could play as your warcraft character. Im so lame!
    I thought the article was funny. Cool post I enjoyed it. Thanks!

  65. Profile photo of Nidonemo
    Nidonemo Male 18-29
    9308 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 1:45 am
    Damn...so much for daydreaming...
  66. Profile photo of R_U_Kidding
    R_U_Kidding Male 18-29
    4246 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 1:50 am
    Wow, thanks Legacy15. I like to think that I rock. :-) As for Hawking playing poker, in the episode of ST:TNG which he guest-starred, he had a little device to sit on the table and hold the cards for him. Here it is!
  67. Profile photo of JaySmith15
    JaySmith15 Male 18-29
    106 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 2:50 am
    Replicators wouldn`t eliminate money, they can`t replicate latinum, the mineral that Ferengi plate in gold and use as currency. And anyways, in the 23rd century the Federation doesn`t use money, everyone just works for a sense of fulfillment and bettering themselves.
  68. Profile photo of JaySmith15
    JaySmith15 Male 18-29
    106 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 2:52 am
    Also: screw holodeck scarlett johansen, why the hell would you want her when you could have Jessica Alba or Shanna the She-Devil or something?
  69. Profile photo of Manar
    Manar Male 30-39
    196 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 3:00 am
    "Teleporter... assuming that what was said is true, it wouldn`t matter. You`re a copy of yourself, with the same thoughts, memories, life, everything. If you don`t know that the original you died, then it essentially never happened to you. You`d be completely unaware, and you`d live on like nothing ever happened."

    Not exactly. It is not me that is a copy of me. Is the copy that is a copy of me. I would die, end of story, the end, finito. The copy would then go around with my face doing everything i would have done. I would not know about it however because i would be dead. To the copy it might not matter, to you on the other hand it would matter a lot.

  70. Profile photo of R_U_Kidding
    R_U_Kidding Male 18-29
    4246 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 3:23 am
    Also, another problem with the copying-part of molecular transport is the fact that if it`s used too much, `you` will be a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy, etc etc & so forth, and just like a photograph: Excessive copying will create SERIOUS flaws. Personality changes, mental/physical mutation/degradation. No thanks.
  71. Profile photo of Eichenkatze
    Eichenkatze Male 18-29
    780 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 4:58 am
    Lol i`m glad i wasn`t the only one who thought about the teleporter in that same way. The only thing i can think that would go against all said there is the replicator. Money (if there were jobs) would have to become electronic. Much like you see in video games with `Credits`
    Oh and Regardless I still want a Holodeck.
  72. Profile photo of tourettes
    tourettes Male 18-29
    957 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 9:15 am
    What we believe greatly depends on our point of view.

    Somehow, still, I WANT EVERY ONE OF THESE THINGS! yeah im that hardcore/diehard!

    5. I saw Star Wars Ep. 2 and 5th Element did that NOT occur to me? I`m not a lame-o I wouldn`t use autopilot, except for my flying limo, I don`t care about any of that.

    4. Similar arguments can discourage skydiving, except jetpacks are actually safer.

    3. Similar arguments can be used against WoW, Everquest, and other MMO`s or even conventional computer/video games. No holodeck would be perfect thus this entire scenario would be unthinkable. Even if it was theres something to be said for *ahem* THE REAL WORLD!!!!

    2. For once, this is indeed troubling, and horrible. Harry Potter solved the problem with Floo, but we can try for wormholes or inter-dimensional travel.

    1. Replicators wouldn`t be 100% perfect, and nothing can replace the "imperfect" human touch. Atomic factories can be fatally flawed and we have to get material

  73. Profile photo of Rauron
    Rauron Male 13-17
    563 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 5:14 pm
    "That would be awesome if you could link other peoples holodecks with your own and you could play as your warcraft character. Im so lame!"
    omg.... MMORPGs via a network of linked holodecks....
    I agree that there would be... consequences, but methinks it`d still be worth it >>
    and not just for that MMORPG idea, that`s just scraping the bottom of the possibilities
  74. Profile photo of TruJuggalo
    TruJuggalo Male 18-29
    405 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 5:32 pm
    You were thinking of prestige with hugh jackman were he teleported making a copy of himself then he would actually kill the orginal or the old one however you would think of it
  75. Profile photo of TheGrag
    TheGrag Male 13-17
    1497 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 7:24 pm
    If we did connect our holodecks, i would have to kill every RuneScape player... or smack the living poo out of them untill they run out of the holo deck crying their asses off to their mothers...
  76. Profile photo of pidwidgeon
    pidwidgeon Female 18-29
    600 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 7:26 pm
    I lol`d the whole time. I`d also like to place my order for a replicator because that`s just friggen sweet.
  77. Profile photo of shizzamX
    shizzamX Female 18-29
    2695 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 7:39 pm
    i think the replicator would be good for fast food or whatever.
  78. Profile photo of GuinnesApple
    GuinnesApple Female 18-29
    41 posts
    November 8, 2007 at 10:56 pm
    "Your children will go through the same process starting with their first teleport..."

    The idea of me going thru the teleporter was creepy enough but the thought of friends and family going thru and coming out as copies bothers me way to much.

  79. Profile photo of pendleton333
    pendleton333 Male 18-29
    81 posts
    November 11, 2007 at 3:40 pm
    Might as well enjoy life now, eat all the crap I want, and die soon, cause there is nothing to look forward to
  80. Profile photo of Thundabolt37
    Thundabolt37 Male 18-29
    23 posts
    November 12, 2007 at 9:40 pm
    The holodeck would not be perfect, it could never be, have you seen the AI on even the best systems we have now? They are terrible, even if you were in a room with people that looked like Hawking and Jessica or whoever, it might look like that person, and seem kind of like them, but it wouldn`t be perfect. Just pre programmed responses, "You like that baby?" "Oh yes I do" "How about this!?" "Oh yes I do" I mean, we`d never perfect it, also, we barely understand how the five senses work to put everything together, so we could never "fool them". Life would still be more real, although the holodecks would attract people, they would never be perfect. Except maybe for some kind of communication, being able to hold your sweetie away to war over seas, so on and so forth. I think the network idea may have a lot of potential for things.

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