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[Total: 151    Average: 3.8/5]
70 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 27632
Rating: 3.8
Category: Funny
Date: 10/12/07 02:10 AM

70 Responses to Rock Beats Everything

  1. Profile photo of JihadAllah
    JihadAllah Male 13-17
    372 posts
    October 11, 2007 at 9:01 pm
    Link: Rock Beats Everything - He does make a good point. Warning: adult language.
  2. Profile photo of XxSpeedy
    XxSpeedy Male 13-17
    274 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 2:13 am
    nice
  3. Profile photo of catapilrgirl
    catapilrgirl Female 30-39
    150 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 2:16 am
    umm was it only supposed to show like 1/3 of the paper or have i just been awake too lomg?
  4. Profile photo of clubp
    clubp Male 13-17
    223 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 2:21 am
    Same for me catapilrgirl
  5. Profile photo of AndrewST
    AndrewST Male 18-29
    181 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 2:24 am
    I guess it is only supposed to show that small bit....that was pretty stupid.
  6. Profile photo of riffplayer88
    riffplayer88 Male 18-29
    7 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 2:31 am
    why does it not show the whole thing. laaaaaame
  7. Profile photo of Jizzms
    Jizzms Male 13-17
    4 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 2:36 am
    well that royally sucked
  8. Profile photo of full_of_rage
    full_of_rage Female 13-17
    299 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 2:39 am
    It might have been good if it didnt cut off 2/3 of the picture. Now Im curious to know what the other part said!
  9. Profile photo of IhartSqwerls
    IhartSqwerls Male 18-29
    174 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 2:41 am
    There MUST be more...I feel violated
  10. Profile photo of AKappy
    AKappy Male 18-29
    2616 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 2:47 am
    ^ Sorry, I probably shouldn`t have touched you there.
  11. Profile photo of Oggleboppite
    Oggleboppite Male 18-29
    180 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 2:47 am
    Heres the full text:

    "i understand how scissors can beat paper, and i get how a rock can beat scissors, but there’s no drating way paper can beat rock. is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? i’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody. a rock would tear that poo up in two seconds. when i play rock paper scissors, i always choose rock. then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper i punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh poo i’m sorry, i thought paper would protect you, you non-nice individual."

  12. Profile photo of luvinangel03
    luvinangel03 Female 18-29
    74 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 3:02 am
    broken link...
  13. Profile photo of angelicamber
    angelicamber Female 18-29
    1572 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 3:09 am
    ....it only shows 1/3 of the page
    with the whole context...
    I wish I only knew the 1/3 of the paper
    because the whole thing is super lame
  14. Profile photo of Rdamsel
    Rdamsel Male 18-29
    1 post
    October 12, 2007 at 3:22 am
    you guys are idiots. the person talking is in the rocks perspective, and he suddenly cant see cause of the paper wrapping around him. its not messed or corrupted. jeez ppl.
  15. Profile photo of fodarexiii
    fodarexiii Male 18-29
    623 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 3:31 am
    ^^Yeah that`s it... and Oggleboppite just randomly made up that entire paragraph.

    ...if you`re going to post, try reading others` first.

  16. Profile photo of Kisato
    Kisato Female 18-29
    695 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 4:13 am
    I`ll be the first to say Thanks, Oggleboppite. But the censorship kind of f*cks it up.... Evil IAB censorship!
  17. Profile photo of LordJonathan
    LordJonathan Male 70 & Over
    1348 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 4:18 am
    No Rdamsel it is corrupted. Thats how a computer graphic looks when it gets corrupted. You must be new to pictures on computers.
  18. Profile photo of kairobert
    kairobert Male 18-29
    1623 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 4:43 am
    they did this lame joke some time ago. it was retarded.
  19. Profile photo of tgirl149
    tgirl149 Female 13-17
    525 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 7:09 am
    its supposed to show the whole thing...and ive seen the argument already....why does IAB have lame stuff now? =[
  20. Profile photo of antdow3
    antdow3 Male 18-29
    946 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 8:20 am
    mehhh
  21. Profile photo of patriotpappy
    patriotpappy Male 50-59
    756 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 9:16 am
    Maybe the game should be changed for today`s technology... maybe

    Copy / Cut / Paste :-D

  22. Profile photo of lmaonaise
    lmaonaise Male 13-17
    773 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 10:33 am
    lol, thats funny. ill try it one day. like tomorrow
  23. Profile photo of klicken
    klicken Male 18-29
    24 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 10:39 am
    In swedish, it`s called "Sten, sax, påse" which translates to "Stone, scissors, bag". And it actually makes more sense. You put the stone in the bag, and the bag won. :)
  24. Profile photo of jess-n-rach
    jess-n-rach Female 13-17
    8 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 10:43 am
    i once made up my own version of rock paper scissors with stuff like food.. i think it was crisps, chocolate, fruit, tea and hmmm ther was one more :( lol.. tea soggied crisps haha.. n it melted chocolate :) fun
  25. Profile photo of llDayo
    llDayo Male 30-39
    144 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 10:47 am
    You can kill a person with a piece of paper by using the edge on their neck. I`d say paper is pretty powerful.
  26. Profile photo of LochNess-Abz
    LochNess-Abz Female 13-17
    815 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 11:02 am
    Meh I feel inclined to uncensor it for the stupid people.

    I understand how scissors can beat paper, and i get how a rock can beat scissors, but there’s no fu`cking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody. A rock would tear that sh`it up in two seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh sh`it i’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you ass hole.

  27. Profile photo of JAXLEY
    JAXLEY Male 18-29
    988 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 11:25 am
    who cares? who thinks the use of expletives to desribe a normal game is unnecessary? who thinks that even making an internet thing about it was even necesaary? My God.
  28. Profile photo of buddy
    buddy Male 30-39
    10116 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 11:54 am
    Image file was corrupted, is now fixed.
  29. Profile photo of Mr_Sir
    Mr_Sir Male 18-29
    576 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 12:05 pm
    Thanks Buddy. You`re the best :-)
  30. Profile photo of Shanir
    Shanir Male 30-39
    1074 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 12:16 pm
    stupid!
  31. Profile photo of DiceMan
    DiceMan Male 18-29
    80 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 12:49 pm
    I LOVE this kind of things.
    Satire is the most beautiful thing ever
  32. Profile photo of AmyNicoleduh
    AmyNicoleduh Female 18-29
    1158 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 1:25 pm
    I`ve ALWAYS thought this.

    When someone claims to beat my rock with their paper, I say, nuh uh, I used my rock as a paper-weight. :D

  33. Profile photo of DoggyTom
    DoggyTom Male 13-17
    94 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 1:52 pm
    Lol I should try that when I lose... which I always seem to do :-\
  34. Profile photo of TheGrag
    TheGrag Male 13-17
    1497 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 2:22 pm
    oui, this is so old...
  35. Profile photo of mluther
    mluther Male 13-17
    1023 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 3:23 pm
    i could do without the cursing but good.
  36. Profile photo of Chaos_Is_Fun
    Chaos_Is_Fun Male 13-17
    1 post
    October 12, 2007 at 4:09 pm
    "You can kill a person with a piece of paper by using the edge on their neck. I`d say paper is pretty powerful."

    Stupidest thing I`ve heard someone say. Do you know how think your skin is? A paper cut on your neck would not kill you. -_-; Please, think before you post.

  37. Profile photo of mr_stache
    mr_stache Male 13-17
    133 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 4:23 pm
    Rdamsel, you are the idiot. You didn`t even consider that MAYBE it`s just another picture that doesn`t load.
  38. Profile photo of PayN8tention
    PayN8tention Male 18-29
    907 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 4:31 pm
    I HAVE ALWAYS SAID THEY SHOULD HAVE FIRE, SPOUNGE, WATER!!! :-O

    Fire burns spounge (and if it is just the spounge, it must be dry)

    Spounge absorbs the water

    Water puts out the fire

    It makes much more sense.

  39. Profile photo of zomgimonfire
    zomgimonfire Female 18-29
    582 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 4:35 pm
    omg thats amazing

    testing censor:
    non-nice individual

  40. Profile photo of RecycleElf
    RecycleElf Male 18-29
    3621 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 4:42 pm
    haha, trhats what i`ve been thinking... i dont want to punch people in the face but, still...
  41. Profile photo of Jesus_Wey
    Jesus_Wey Male 18-29
    238 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 5:05 pm
    you can kill a person from far far away with some nice aim, and a not so big rock. just make sure u hit them in the temple.
  42. Profile photo of BigWaFuu
    BigWaFuu Male 18-29
    1163 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 6:08 pm
    actually... If you go to punch someone, and they blick you with an open hand (paper), then technically paper did protect them

    Paper doesnt confine scissors because they are sharp. A rock can not pierce paper, thus, paper beats the rock.

    This rant is full of epic fail.

  43. Profile photo of Evilsock
    Evilsock Male 13-17
    28 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 6:39 pm
    lame...this is so gay
  44. Profile photo of trippyhippy9
    trippyhippy9 Male 18-29
    559 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 7:22 pm
    While paper doesn`t make sense, something like "Rock, Scissors, Dynamite with a cuttable fuse" doesn`t exactly roll of the tongue.
  45. Profile photo of Rakuru
    Rakuru Male 13-17
    59 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 7:42 pm
    Tank beats Ghost. Tank beats Hunter. Tank beats EVERYTHING.

    For anyone who`s played Halo 3.

    Pretty funny paragraph, BTW.

  46. Profile photo of Mauger
    Mauger Male 18-29
    115 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 7:51 pm
    aww that was genious
  47. Profile photo of Bondagevamp
    Bondagevamp Female 18-29
    350 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 10:11 pm
    MY FRIEND SO WROTE THIS YEARS AGO AND POSTED IT ON HER WEBSITE YEARS AGO.... And this is word for word what she wrote.. and she wrote it on her own, she didn`t take it from something else. wow..... wow.
  48. Profile photo of hornytoad666
    hornytoad666 Male 13-17
    15 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 10:40 pm
    The guy who wrote this (assuming its a guy and an actual opinion and not made up) is a moron. The real reason for paper beating rock is from the custom (I forget if it`s African or Asian) of wrapping a rock in a peace treaty to show your side gives in.
  49. Profile photo of hornytoad666
    hornytoad666 Male 13-17
    15 posts
    October 12, 2007 at 10:43 pm
    Or something like that
  50. Profile photo of bombsquad505
    bombsquad505 Female 18-29
    322 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 1:03 am
    That`s funny, but really old.
  51. Profile photo of insanepirate
    insanepirate Female 18-29
    364 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 1:04 am
    lmfao, that was great. I don`t care what you all say. Punching people in the face and then laughing at them is fun.
  52. Profile photo of blargendarg
    blargendarg Male 30-39
    376 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 1:12 am
    okay, so it`s a stupid game to begin with, but i`d like to know what the hand signals would be for fire, sponge, water
  53. Profile photo of catapilrgirl
    catapilrgirl Female 30-39
    150 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 1:29 am
    well now that i can read it, i`m not so angry. i used to play one called "foot, atom bomb, roach" foot squshed roach, bomb killed foot, roach lived through bomb and so on. it`s much better than rock paper scissors...
  54. Profile photo of CodyxParker
    CodyxParker Male 13-17
    16 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 1:29 am
    This is definitely Demetri Martin. <.<
  55. Profile photo of philitup23
    philitup23 Male 18-29
    468 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 1:35 am
    this was actually stolen from Dane Cook`s stand up comedy
  56. Profile photo of jhonmayer1
    jhonmayer1 Male 18-29
    1289 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 2:09 am
    awesome
    and agreed.
  57. Profile photo of Angelmassb
    Angelmassb Male 18-29
    15511 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 2:24 am
    A common timing-based tactic on a throw of paper or scissors is to wait until the last possible moment to dupe an opponent into believing that one may actually be throwing a scissors or rock. This is usually regarded as a foul at competitive RPS matches. In competitive RPS, however, a foul can be called on any throw that is revealed after thrower`s arm swings past the perpendicular to his torso. In this case, the referee may then assign a throw of rock, or a "forced rock".

    Priming is the number of bounces one does before revealing the throw. Another way to cheat is to prime three times to an opponent`s twice, so that one sees his opponent`s throw without revealing his own. In most such cases, though, the round will be most likely replayed.

    To prevent timing-based cheating, the players may be asked to hold their throwing hands behind their backs and reveal their already-formed throws after the count of three.

  58. Profile photo of parkm
    parkm Male 13-17
    742 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 9:53 am
    it says;i understand how scissors can beat paper,and i get how a rock can beat scissors but theres no fudgeking way paper can beat rock.Is paper supposed to wrap around the rock and leave it immobile?Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors,screwq scissors why cant paper do this to people?Why arent there sheets of college ruled note book paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class?ill tel you why because paper cant beat anybody.A rock would tear that shi/t up in two seconds.When i play rock,paper,scissors,i always choose rock.Then when someone claims to have beaten me with their paper i can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say,oh poo, im sorry i thought paper would protect you" for those of tou who couldn`t get all of it.
  59. Profile photo of parkm
    parkm Male 13-17
    742 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 9:54 am
    poo other people did it already.sorry
  60. Profile photo of sulu
    sulu Male 18-29
    994 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 2:06 pm
    hey did they steal this form Seinfeld and just added a dumbass explanation with it?
  61. Profile photo of Toolslip25
    Toolslip25 Male 18-29
    16 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 3:36 pm
    yeah I think this is from one of Dane Cooks Stand ups
  62. Profile photo of cookii
    cookii Female 18-29
    1299 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 4:59 pm
    good point
  63. Profile photo of poke321
    poke321 Male 13-17
    447 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 5:02 pm
    hahahahahaha thats how i think of rock to!
    rock ftw@@!!!!
  64. Profile photo of smassi
    smassi Female 13-17
    203 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 10:14 pm
    i have this as my away message (minus the colorful language). i completely support this. everytime i play rock paper scissors with somebody and the rock/paper combo comes up i make my arguement and they say im dumb because the paper suffocates the rock. wtf?! rocks dont have lungs dimwits!
  65. Profile photo of philippic
    philippic Male 18-29
    1704 posts
    October 13, 2007 at 11:07 pm
    funy how he`s written it on paper..

    haha it is funny tho.

  66. Profile photo of Masterdog99
    Masterdog99 Male 13-17
    53 posts
    October 14, 2007 at 1:52 am
    hey! dont talk to paper that way! someday it will kick your ass and slit your throat!!! Well fine maybe not kick you ass but you know.
  67. Profile photo of cookii
    cookii Female 18-29
    1299 posts
    October 26, 2007 at 1:26 pm
    good point
  68. Profile photo of spongamabob
    spongamabob Female 18-29
    2084 posts
    January 12, 2008 at 1:28 pm
    that was pretty funny.
  69. Profile photo of Dooked
    Dooked Male 18-29
    516 posts
    January 18, 2008 at 4:48 pm
    Hahaha! He´s so right!
  70. Profile photo of Tubby12370
    Tubby12370 Male 18-29
    1440 posts
    March 14, 2011 at 5:14 pm
    from now on, im always picking rock

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