Rockin' in the free world since 2005.

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Rating: 3.5
Category: Funny
Date: 10/08/07 02:05 AM

43 Responses to 5-Blade Razors

  1. Profile photo of larajunky
    larajunky Female 40-49
    1832 posts
    October 7, 2007 at 7:59 pm
    Link: 5-Blade Razors - An internal memo from the president of Gilette is intercepted. Warning: adult language.
  2. Profile photo of HylianNinja
    HylianNinja Male 18-29
    902 posts
    October 7, 2007 at 8:05 pm
    I got a george patton feel out of that. Needless to say, it rocked.
  3. Profile photo of Ant0n
    Ant0n Male 18-29
    761 posts
    October 7, 2007 at 9:23 pm
    as far as i know,razors with many blades can damage the skin, so its best to shave with 1-2 blade razors...
  4. Profile photo of Aerfy
    Aerfy Male 18-29
    232 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 2:23 am
    Did anyone else notice that he was having a conversation in that note, with no one.
  5. Profile photo of Dragonlord
    Dragonlord Male 18-29
    734 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 2:41 am
    I <3 The Onion.
  6. Profile photo of Zerocyde
    Zerocyde Male 18-29
    3258 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 3:22 am
    dratin awesome.
  7. Profile photo of catapilrgirl
    catapilrgirl Female 30-39
    150 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 3:50 am
    hilarious!!
  8. Profile photo of jinxiejae
    jinxiejae Female 30-39
    2928 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 4:19 am
    1-2 blade razors dont do squat. the three and four are much better but going to five maybe going overboard.
  9. Profile photo of Pabasa
    Pabasa Male 18-29
    4014 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 5:39 am
    Gilette is mad. If it was real, of course.
  10. Profile photo of notsoevil
    notsoevil Female 18-29
    101 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 5:50 am
    Reminded me of this old MadTV sketch
  11. Profile photo of nataliestar
    nataliestar Female 18-29
    13 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 6:05 am
    :|
  12. Profile photo of __Tigger__
    __Tigger__ Male 30-39
    108 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 7:04 am
    Bwah ha haaaa.... so friggin true... what a waste of time energy and sanity the razor blade war is.
  13. Profile photo of lorddalvidii
    lorddalvidii Male 13-17
    285 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 7:22 am
    Mew mew mew.
  14. Profile photo of BigBonny
    BigBonny Male 18-29
    2216 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 7:25 am
    tl;dr
  15. Profile photo of Nytewulf
    Nytewulf Male 30-39
    513 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 7:43 am
    And here I thought that this was going to be a real article, until I clicked the link and it`s actually and Onion article. Boo!
  16. Profile photo of ImNoGod
    ImNoGod Male 18-29
    1149 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 9:01 am
    That was AWESOME!
  17. Profile photo of SnaveNareik
    SnaveNareik Male 13-17
    244 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 9:14 am
    ...mew mew mew.
  18. Profile photo of kribbe
    kribbe Male 18-29
    2006 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 10:40 am
    hell no, ill stick to my four bladed razor
  19. Profile photo of lmaonaise
    lmaonaise Male 13-17
    773 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 10:48 am
    hmmm yes. truly inspirational
  20. Profile photo of Maelstrom_x
    Maelstrom_x Male 18-29
    1883 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 10:52 am
    I don`t know if any of you remember, but Gilette did a commercial when Shick released their four-blade razor, the Quattro. The commercial featured a 20-bladed razor. The thing was fricking huge, and the guy just looked at it like "WTF?" Then it said that more razors doesn`t mean a better shave. It then plugged Mach 3 razors.

    Now there`s the Gilette Fusion, with (count them) FIVE BLADES!!!! AND AN EXTRA BLADE ON THE BACK!!! AND IT VIBRATES!!!

    Kinda sad really. I use Shick`s 3-razor one. It does an acceptable job at a good price. Gilette is overpriced no matter which blades you buy.

  21. Profile photo of kingdante87
    kingdante87 Male 18-29
    141 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 11:18 am
    It took me `till I got to the bottom to realize I was reading the onion and that it was a spoof. I could totally see some top executive somewhere giving that speech though.
  22. Profile photo of LazyMe484
    LazyMe484 Male 18-29
    10443 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 12:21 pm
    lol that was good reading. I wouldn`t buy a 5 blade razor tho... too many blades.
  23. Profile photo of barththe8th
    barththe8th Male 13-17
    195 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 12:43 pm
    haha funny article, i have the gilette fusion and that thing has 5 blades, pretty cool actually
  24. Profile photo of violingirl77
    violingirl77 Female 13-17
    1426 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 1:20 pm
    Here`s your pre-blood stained razor.

  25. Profile photo of shrtro
    shrtro Male 18-29
    65 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 2:17 pm
    effin hilarious
  26. Profile photo of TheGrag
    TheGrag Male 13-17
    1497 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 2:33 pm
    Heh, i think i was too bored to appreciate the page fully... it was interesting but i got bored
  27. Profile photo of Sabre200000
    Sabre200000 Male 18-29
    1039 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 2:33 pm
    The fusion rocks..lol Great being able to shave real quick without nicking yourself or worrying. 5 face blades though...lol...you have to love The Onion.
  28. Profile photo of charmingman
    charmingman Male 18-29
    146 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 2:46 pm
    This is f*cking funny, but is OLDER THAN TIME. I first read it about 3 years ago! Worth a post though.
  29. Profile photo of WhatInThe42o
    WhatInThe42o Male 30-39
    385 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 4:28 pm
    I, too, use the Fusion. Blades all over that thing, even a single blade on its own, for getting the sniggly bits under your nose and around your lips. I love it. They could slap another six or seven blades on there, and I`d love it even more. Enough blades where all I need to so is place it against my face, and shift it down 1/4 inch, and I`m done. *Now* we`re talking shaving luxury!
  30. Profile photo of basically
    basically Female 13-17
    80 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 5:44 pm
    that sounded unreal.

    like i don`t believe it.

  31. Profile photo of Bujold
    Bujold Male 13-17
    51 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 6:30 pm
    "I don`t know if any of you remember, but Gilette did a commercial when Shick released their four-blade razor, the Quattro. The commercial featured a 20-bladed razor. The thing was fricking huge, and the guy just looked at it like "WTF?" Then it said that more razors doesn`t mean a better shave. It then plugged Mach 3 razors."

    That was Phillips, and the razor had "15 extra large blades". Search "Quintippio" on YouTube ;)

  32. Profile photo of OMGPWNT
    OMGPWNT Male 13-17
    94 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 7:34 pm
    u all know this is from the onion right...?
  33. Profile photo of Snoogans
    Snoogans Male 30-39
    869 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 8:18 pm
    lol, that was funny. but seriously, how many friggin` blades are they going to put on the razors. I was perfectly cool with the mach 3 razor.
    The one that drives me mad are the ones that take a battery and vibrate. If you want an electric razor then buy one, these new Fusion Mach 3 Excel MP3 razors are getting to be gimmicky.
    And why the hell does it cost almost $20 bucks for (4) replacement razors? Brutal. End rant.
  34. Profile photo of roxidied
    roxidied Female 13-17
    322 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 8:42 pm
    lol men should just wax too...problem solved =P.
  35. Profile photo of Thedoomthing
    Thedoomthing Male 18-29
    100 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 9:07 pm
    ... this is dumb
  36. Profile photo of Sega
    Sega Female 18-29
    34 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 9:37 pm
    I second men waxing.
  37. Profile photo of Neagle
    Neagle Male 30-39
    1407 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 9:47 pm
    Titanium Schick razor rocked! It`s not the number of blades but, the metal compound and manufacturing technique that matters. I guess it was not disposable enough.
  38. Profile photo of glenbrooke
    glenbrooke Male 18-29
    41 posts
    October 8, 2007 at 11:57 pm
    ahaha this is great
  39. Profile photo of LordJonathan
    LordJonathan Male 70 & Over
    1348 posts
    October 9, 2007 at 12:31 am
    WTF? At the beginning of that MadTV sketch Nicole Sullivan was saying the lines too by accident then realized it at 24 seconds.
  40. Profile photo of wtfstoner55
    wtfstoner55 Male 13-17
    167 posts
    October 9, 2007 at 2:55 am
    This reminded me of a joke from "The Late Show" (from the Australian ABC in 1992-1993, not the David Letterman one) where they had on with 16 blades and explained the job of each one. "no.6 acts as a postman, distracting the hair so that nos. 7-9 can coax the hair into coming out of hiding. nos. 10-15 handle the paper work, and no.16... well, it`s just along for the ride. The Gillette 3000, also the Lady Gillette 3000, which is exactly the same but with a much girlier voiceover"
  41. Profile photo of robock
    robock Male 18-29
    317 posts
    October 9, 2007 at 7:00 pm
    i prefer electric razor.
  42. Profile photo of CptObvious
    CptObvious Male 13-17
    285 posts
    October 9, 2007 at 8:34 pm
    one day there`s going to be about 25 blades and like 10 strips
  43. Profile photo of shizzamX
    shizzamX Female 18-29
    2697 posts
    October 9, 2007 at 9:04 pm
    lmfao.

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